“Just shut up and kiss me.”
He laughed once then brought his lips to mine, shocking me with the ferocity, the tension and lust he’d saved up all this time—the kind that left everything else on our bodies wanting, starving for oxygen.
My hands moved fast across his chest, memorizing each bone in his shoulder, his ribs and his jaw, and he met my passion and fury with the same fast searching, his fingers daring to inch beyond my waist to my hips, and along my shoulder blades under my shirt.
His sweet scent and the flavor of his breath had been gone so long it was no longer enough. I needed him—all of him. I needed him inside me, on me, everywhere I could have him—everywhere humanly possible.
He leaned back and smiled at me. “Clothes off?”
I didn’t even think then. I grabbed the base of his shirt, peeling it upward as he arched his elbows and lifted it from his skin, casting it to the shore with one flick.
My breath shuddered.
In the pale moonlight, he looked like a vampire: his features chiseled and more refined, his eyes dark and mysterious, his smile, with his fangs showing, deathly.
Without taking his eyes off mine, his fingers crept up my spine, tracing every knuckle of bone until he lifted my shirt and unclipped my bra. My breath fell hot and short through my smile. I lifted my arms as he rolled my sticky, moisture-heavy shirt off my body, and sent it flying to the shore as well, then let out a long breath that was infused with profanity as he studied me.
“What?” I said.
“I forgot how beautiful you are.”
A rush of love flooded through me as our skin touched. I folded over, burying my face in his neck, wrapping my arms tightly around him, my bare breasts falling heavily against his chest.
He traced loving lines over the back of my neck, then pressed each digit of his fingertips into my shoulder blades.
When the desperation to feel love passed, up rose the desire for touch again, making everything in my body hot in the coolness of the water.
Lightning flashed above us, illuminating the lake like a stage, and as I pressed my lips to his again, not bothered by the wetness exchanged with each touch, the storm broke through his hold, cracking thunder bringing down a torrent of rain on top of us.
He laughed into my mouth, his breath becoming my next. “Sorry,” he said, “I can’t hold the elements while concentrating… elsewhere.”
“It’s okay,” I said, nibbling his neck, “I like the rain on our skin.”
He stopped me, leaning out from our hold a little so he could study me, and with soft hands, a touch reserved for the most breakable things, he cupped my breast, the heat of his own desires meeting my face on his breath. “I’ve never touched you here before.”
“Yes, you have. In my dreams.”
He smiled. “And what else have I done to you in your dreams?”
I felt my cheeks blush, reaching down between my legs to unbutton my jeans.
“Stop.” David’s hand caught mine.
“Why?” I met his eyes just in time to see a smile spread across his lips. “Why?”
He dropped his shaking head, kissing the place my locket used to sit. “You know why.”
“Oh my God! The virginity thing?”
“Yes.”
“But that’s not fair.” I placed my feet back on the sandy surface of the lake. “I don’t want to give it to anyone else—ever. Why don’t you want it?”
“Aw, Ara.” He placed his thumb to my quivering lip. “Sweetheart, it was never that I didn’t want your virginity.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, my love. It’s not.” He bundled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. “I never told you this, but when a vampire takes the virginity of a human, she’s bound to him—for all eternity. She will be incapable of feeling for another man. The connection will go deeper than just the physical; deeper than the soul.”
“Really? Like… it’d never fade?”
“Never. And this love you have for me, this need for me, it would be magnified a hundred-fold—”
“Then why won’t you let me have that with you?”
“Because you won’t be able to forget me, Ara.”
“I can’t now. Can’t you see that?” I studied his eyes.
“But there’s a hope.”
I let my face speak volumes about dying hope. “Do you really believe that?”
David chewed the inside of his lip and then clicked his tongue. “What are we going to do?”
“Run away together?” I smiled, wishing he would.
“Wait a minute.” His eyes narrowed as he pressed his nose to my hair. “Ara, when did you see Jason?”
“Tonight.”
“I knew it. I knew I could smell him on you.” He took my face in both hands and looked deep into my eyes with his liquid-green stare. “What did he want; did he hurt you?”
“No.” I shook my head, unwinding David’s fingers from my face. “No, he… saved me.”
“What?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Show me,” David ordered in a short tone, touching my face again.
“No.”
“Ara. Show me. Please?”
I sighed out my surrender, closing my eyes to replay the memory of everything that happened today with Eric and Karnivale, Jason and our chat, Emily and… Mike.
David pulled back suddenly. “Shit.”
“Did you just say shit?”
He didn’t answer. His eyes slowly wandered from mine down to my chest, his hand gently resting over my heart. “It crushed you to see Mike with Emily like that.”
“It shouldn’t though, should it?”
“Of course it should.” His brow pulled, making rivers for the rain to travel down. “He kissed you not three days ago. Swore his allegiance. Promised you a life together if I dint return. Why shouldn’t it crush you?”
“I guess I didn't feel like… it was okay to feel that way, you know, considering I told him I’d never want him.”
“Poor girl,” he said sweetly, cocking his head. “Ara, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I shrugged. “I did kind of tell him to jump at the chance to be with someone if an opportunity came along.”
“That doesn’t excuse him sleeping with your best friend—under your roof.”
“It’s Emily’s roof, too.”
He sighed, shaking his head.
“And… I am happy for them—kind of.”
“Liar.” He smiled, pressing my nose with the tip of his finger.
“No, I really am,” I insisted, meaning it. “I just needed to get over the shock; come to terms with what this means.”
“What does it mean?”
“Mike’s not mine now,” I said, but I felt okay about that. “Things will change between us, and… I guess, it just means I won't have anyone to run to now—anyone to confide in or snuggle up to or joke around with. It won’t be right anymore.”
David nodded, understanding. “You're losing your best friend. Both of them.”
I nodded too, letting the weight of that realization sink me down again.
“They do make a good couple, though,” David noted.
“So did we, but it didn’t matter.”
“It does matter. I’m still here. I still love you.”
“But for how long? By the time this rain stops, you’ll be gone, and I’ll just be dead again.”
David took a breath and let it out slowly. “Come on, you’re cold. We need to get you home.”
“We?”
He nodded. “We.”
The lift of my cheeks into a smile spread uncontrollable joy across my face. “Really?”
He pushed the stray hairs from my face on both sides. “Just for tonight.”
“I’ll take tonight.”
“Come on then, let’s not waste it in this freezing lake.”
He took my arm and helped me to the shore, dressing before I’d even picked up my shirt.
“Great, my bra is gone,” I muttered to myself, then looked up as David, with eyes round under a frown, took my arm and forced me to stand. “What?” I said.
“Have you been eating?”
“Yes.” I hid my breasts from his stare.
“Why are you so thin?”
“I’m fine. I eat.” I turned away to pull my shirt over my head. “I just don’t put weight on anymore.”
David’s fingers smoothed down my shoulders from behind and rested in a clasp around my stomach as my shirt fell into place. “Is it because you’re so sad?”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” I rolled my cheek against his.
“If I stay for a while, maybe… a little longer than just one night, will you be happy again?”
I shrugged. “Depends on how long.”
“Long enough for you to be healthy.”
“Yes, but then I’ll never get healthy again.” I turned in his arms and smiled up at him. “You abandoned the Set, why can’t you just be with me now?”
“Because the laws are strict. I was a council leader. It comes with great consequences if you abandon that. They will imprison me and kill you if they catch me with you.”
“So?”
“So, I don’t want you dead.”
“You don’t want to live without me either, do you?” I asked.
“No.”
“They’re both the same thing. If you go, or if I die, you’re living without me. And if you go, I’ll just die anyway, David. You know that. I have nothing left to live for.”
I could see that reached him, made him think in a way he clearly hadn’t before. I wasn’t saying it to make him feel bad, to get attention or to hurt him; I truly just didn't have one good reason to live anymore. “Ara, the Set… if they catch you…”
“I know. It won’t just be death.” I rolled my eyes. “They’ll torture me and make what Jason did to me look like child’s-play.”
He raised a brow at me. “Learned a few things while I’ve been away, have you?”
“Yes. And I don’t care. We can run; we’ll run for the rest of my life if it means we get to be together.”
“And what kind of life would that be? There can be no children, no peace. Ara, you want a normal life.” He touched my cheek, his eyes delving into the past for a moment.
“I changed my mind, though. I don’t care about any of that now.”
He smiled warmly, looking off to one side. “I did see that in your memory.”
“Saw what?”
“Your hopes for the future; your newfound acceptance for my kind. And your, uh… celibacy.”
I stared at him, my brow pulling low over one side.
“I went a little further back than you allowed,” he confessed.
“Cheeky.” I pointed in his face. “How far back?”
“I wanted to see the wedding—when you ran away.”
“Not my proudest moment.” I looked down at my empty ring finger.
David rested his forehead against mine, his arms tightening around me. “That may be so, precious girl, but I’m proud of you. You did the right thing.”
“You think?”
“I know.” He stepped out from my body, taking my hand. “Come on. Let’s get you home. We can talk in the morning.”
10
“Are you cold?” David asked, touching the heater dial.
I snuggled up tighter into the warmth of my knees and arms, wedging my tongue between my chattering teeth. “Just a bit.”
He turned the heater on and spun the dial all the way around to high, flicking his secret smile my way after. “Better?”
“Not yet,” I said, angling the vent to blast its warm breath over my icy talons. “D-did you d-drive your car to the l-lake?” I managed to shiver out.
“Yes.” He reached across and stole my hand. “Where did you think I got the gas can?”
“D-didn’t… think.”
“Not much has changed, then,” he joked, so I whacked his arm with my elbow. “We’ll just have to take a nice drive out there tomorrow to pick it up.”
“Well.” I looked at the speedometer. “Don’t speed in my car, you’ll g-get me a t-tick—”
“Okay.” He spared me the hassle of a stuttering end, the car tugging slightly as his lead-weighted foot eased from the accelerator. “I remember now: you don’t like breaking road rules.”
“How easily you forget.”
“Forget? Or hope you wouldn’t notice.”
“I always notice.”
He smiled in return, keeping his eyes on the road. “Do you think Emily and Mike will have waited up?”
“I don’t know.” I looked at the clock, then the fuel light as it came on again. “I hope so. I feel bad. I kinda freaked out.”
David chuckled softly. “Yeah. You did. Well”—he nodded to the house—“looks like they waited up. Porch light’s still on.”
I sat up from my huddle and looked down the street. “Wait, how do you know where I live?”
“Read it in your thoughts,” he said casually.
“Oh.” I slumped back in my chair. And here I was thinking he might’ve actually cared enough to be checking up on me.
“Hey.” He squeezed my hand. “Don’t be like that. I did, I mean, I do care enough to check up on you. I just… I didn’t know where you were.”
“Why? It isn’t hard to find a person.”
“Well, that’s why I was at the lake.” He turned the engine off and we sat in the driveway. “I was trying to decide if I should go ask your Dad, or if, maybe, I should leave you alone. Imagine my surprise when you suddenly showed up.”
“Not how you planned your night, huh?”
“Certainly not,” he said. “Then again, I don’t suppose you planned to meet your attacker, nearly get killed, then see your two best friends in bed together, did you?”
“No,” I said solemnly, looking up at the gloomy house: once a refuge, now a tower of impossible emotions. I couldn’t sort them all out in my head, and I didn’t know which ones I even wanted to sort. “What do I say to them, David?”
“Just listen to your heart.” He smoothed a strand of hair away from my lip. “You’ll know what to say.”
“Hm.” I opened my door. “Helpful.”
David laughed, standing on the driveway in front of me before I’d fully turned away from him. “Want me to come in with you, or wait here for a minute?”
“You better wait here.” I shut the car door with my hip. “I don’t need Em freaking out over you before I get to talk to her.”
“Okay. But”—he grabbed my hand as I walked away—“I’ll be here if you need me. Just say my name and I’ll come.”
“Thanks.” I stepped backward, one slow step at a time. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”
“Okay.” He jammed his hands into his pockets.
“Promise.” I pointed at him.
He nodded, smiling. “I promise.”
It felt like one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do—walking away from him again. I knew he wouldn’t leave, but my heart didn’t want to take the risk. Reluctantly, I turned away and followed the cold breeze to the front door anyway.
The storm here had settled, but it left a breath of winter behind, making my hands shake as I reached for the door handle, and then I stopped.
What would I say to Emily? David was wrong: my heart didn’t know what to say. Or, rather, it did but what it had in mind wasn’t very nice, something along the lines of Gee, sorry I saw your completely naked self, Emily, but keep your legs off my friend slash ex-fiancé. Or maybe even, Emily, I’m so happy you and Mike like each other, but leave a sock on the door next time.
“Em? Mike?” I whispered into the darkness, pushing the door open.
A pair of warm, skinny arms flung around my neck, derailing my steps for a second. “Ara! Oh-my-God, I’m so sorry.”
I pulled Emily’s arms away, one at a time, and stood back from her. “Where’s Mike?”
“He’s gone,” she sobbed. “He’s out looking for you.”
“How long’s he been gone?”
She looked at her watch, wiping her eye with the back of her hand. “Three hours.”
“And you’ve been here all by yourself?”
She nodded, her lip quivering. “I asked him if he wanted me to come, but he… he loves you, Ara. Not me. I made a mistake. I would never have done it if I didn’t believe it was love.”
“Em…” I closed my eyes tight, biting my back teeth together. “Really, you love him?”
“I…” She hiccuhiccupedpped with sadness. “I’m not sure anymore.”
“Why, what happened?”
“I was wrong,” she said, bursting into tears again. “And I should have told you I was in love with him. I know that, and I’m so so sorry, Ara. I just didn’t know how to say it.”
I considered slapping her for a second, finding it hard to muster one ounce of pity. I nodded instead. “You’re right. You should have told me. I shouldn’t have found out by seeing you two like that.”
“I—I just don’t know what to say. I’m so humiliated.”
I shook my head, staring forward. “Look. It was a shock to see that, okay. It was just so out of the blue—for me. I didn’t see the signs. I mean, I see them now, but… I didn’t know you were in love with him.”
“Do you hate me?”
I blinked a few extra times to find my words. “No. And I’m not mad, either.” Liar. Liar.
A gust of air came through her lips as she covered her mouth, her shoulders hunching around her ears.
“Argh! All right, come here.” I hugged her, letting her cry tears for my Mike into my neck. “It’s okay, Em.”
“He doesn’t love me, Ara,” she whimpered after a while. “He told me; he said it was a mistake. That he… that he was just lonely, and he should have… he should have—”
I felt a tiny twang of pity for her then. “He should have what?”
“He said he should never have let me think he had feelings for me.”
“Oh.” And suddenly, the me inside that was hurt by Emily and Mike stepped aside for the friend, the one who’d always been there for Em in a boy crisis. “What an asshole. He better not have meant that.”
Dark Secrets Box Set Page 88