“He didn’t.” We both looked up to a tall silhouette, shrouding the light coming in from the front door.
“Mike.” I said it more as a sigh. “What the hell?”
He stood with his arms folded, shaking his head at us, but as soon as Emily started crying again, his arms fell to his sides. “I’ve made a bloody big mess here, haven’t I?” he said.
“Understatement of the century,” I said, and Emily laughed into my shoulder, wiping her mouth after.
“Emily,” Mike said, touching her arm. “I’m sorry. I’m a first-class dick. I didn’t mean what I said.”
She looked up, her lips tight. “Really?”
He gave her the look of apology he used to give me; the one that meant he just didn’t have the right words, but felt them.
When she sniffled, it made such a blobby, goobery sound that we all laughed. “I need another tissue.”
“I’ll get you one,” Mike said.
“No.” She held up a hand. “You stay. You probably need to talk to Ara anyway, right?”
“Thanks, Em.” He smiled at her, running his hand down her arm.
I noticed the connection between them then, which obviously formed while I wasn’t paying attention, and it almost made me feel like an outsider.
Mike looked at me after Emily left. “Ara?”
I wandered over and sunk down on the couch, rolling my head into my hands.
“What can I say, Ar?” He sat beside me.
I wanted to say You don’t need to say anything, but flashes of them together just kept coming, and it hurt. It really hurt. “By rights, Mike”—I looked at him—“you don’t have to say a word.”
“But it’s not that simple, is it? We both know that.”
“Nothing with us ever is.”
He folded his broad fingers around mine: a comforting, wordless apology.
“So, what’re you guys gonna do, then? Be together?” I asked.
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Is…” Emily said, standing in the doorway. “Is that okay, Ara?”
I looked from Mike to Emily and back again. He wouldn’t have slept with her—with my best friend, who he knew would eventually tell me—if he didn’t have super strong feelings for her. It just wasn’t like him. Which meant I couldn’t deny my blessing any more than I actually wanted give it.
“It’s not up to me, guys.”
“I know,” Em said. “But… I…”
“Em?” Mike placed one hand on my back, holding the other out to her. She fell lovingly into his arms, resting her head in the hollow of his shoulder, while the bubble of exclusion widened around me. “You can’t ask Ara to accept this just yet. It’s too soon.”
“I know, but—” She looked right at me. “I’m sorry, Ara. I just don’t want you to be hurting.”
“I’m okay,” I said, offering a playful smile because I knew I’d be fine with David here. “But… you know this means I was right.”
“Right?” she asked.
“Yeah. I always told you you’d like him eventually.” I jerked my head toward Mike.
She laughed.
“What?” Mike looked a little perplexed. “She always liked me.”
“Uh—” I looked at Emily and we both laughed. “Not really.”
“I kind-of hated you for a while,” she said.
Mike’s shoulders dropped. “Really? But I’m so likeable.”
“Apparently not,” I said.
“Fine. Right then”—he held an arm out to me—“group hug.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I said.
“Nope. No one’s going to bed until we’ve hugged this out.”
With a deep groan in the back of my throat, I rolled into their arms and let myself be a part of the friendship again, just for a moment.
“Okay, are we done now?” I asked.
“All done.” Mike released me.
“Well—” I swiped the remainder of my wet hair from my forehead and let a little shiver in under my cold clothes. “I’m gonna go get changed.”
“Why are you wet, anyway, what were you doing all night?” Emily stood up as I did.
“Went swimming.”
Mike frowned. “Why?”
“Needed to clear my head.”
I could tell my words made him ache, since he thought he clouded my head, but in truth, it was already cloudy because of the Eric, then the Jason thing. But I had no intention of telling him that.
“You gonna be okay, baby?” He extended an offer of comfort again as he stood beside me.
“Yeah.” I gave him a quick one-armed hug. “I mean, I’m sure I will be. You guys…” I considered them for a moment. “You actually make a pretty cute couple.”
Emily looked at Mike, her eyes a little wide with hesitation. “It feels kinda wrong, though.”
“It’s not.” I let out a deep breath. “If you guys are happy, that’s all I want.”
“Aw, baby, but… this isn’t what I wanted for you.”
“Something tells me I’ll be fine.” I grinned so widely my cheeks hurt.
“Now there’s a look I haven’t seen in a long time.” Emily took a step toward me, her narrowed eyes piercing mine before they snapped toward to the front door. “Where is he?”
“Who?” Mike stood taller, looking too. “Where’s who?”
The knight appeared slowly, hands behind his back, wearing that timeless, secret grin.
Emily spun on her heel and flew into David’s arms before he had the chance to get inside, making his attempt to seem caught off-guard, stumbling back a few inches, look fake enough that Mike rolled his eyes.
“David! It’s so good to see you again,” she cried.
He patted her back softly, smiling at me over her shoulder. “It’s good to be back.”
“What are you doing here? Where have you been? How long are you—”
“All right, Em.” Mike moved toward them. “Let’s not crowd the guy with a hundred questions.”
She folded out from the hug, making room for Mike to step in.
“David. S’been a long time, mate,” Mike said, wrapping both arms around my vampire.
“Too long,” David said, patting his back.
“Are you planning to stay?”
“Not for long.”
Mike stood back, lifting his chin slightly. “Is that so?”
“You know how it is, bro.” David rocked on his heels, jamming his hands into his saturated pockets. It seemed there was more exchanging between the two in the language of their bodies than words, leaving Emily and me clueless to the true conversation.
I watched on, my gaze darting between them: Mike, with his teeth tight behind thinly-pressed lips, and David, slowly shrinking.
“Mike!” I grabbed his arm.
“It’s okay.” David ducked his head remorsefully. “I get it.”
“No, it doesn’t matter now,” I said. “It’s in the past.”
“It will never be in the past, Ar. He needs to know what he’s done to you.”
“He knows.” Emily touched Mike’s arm and looked at David. “There’s no way he’s leaving again. Right, David?”
A moment of careful consideration clouded David’s eyes, playing on his lips after as an almost sympathetic smile. “I can stay for a while.” He looked at Mike then. “But you know it can’t be for long.”
“Why?” Emily said. “I don’t get it. Why can’t you stay?”
I could sense the tension in Mike, knew that he knew what this would do to me. His head turned a little, his eyes slowly drifting toward mine. I offered a reassuring smile, wondering if it would be him or my vampire who’d break the news to Emily about David’s diet.
“I have a wife,” David said instead, almost convincingly.
“What?” Emily shrieked.
“David!” Just tell her the truth.
“It’s true. I just popped in to check on everyone, but I’m leaving again in a few days.”
�
�I don’t believe you,” Emily said.
And why would she? There was a time when she knew David better than any of us—knew he wasn’t the kind of guy who’d cheat on his wife. I don’t know why he thought she’d fall for that.
David shrugged. “Believe what you want. It doesn’t change facts, Emily.”
Emily looked at Mike. She knew a lie when she heard one. “Fine,” she rescinded. “You just go ahead and tell me the truth when you’re ready then.”
David’s shoulders straightened, his hands casually going back into his pockets as his eyes narrowed with that conceited grin—the one disguising his vault of secrets, the lock and key thrown away, leaving Emily forever on the outside.
“Bed time,” Mike interjected, grabbing Emily’s arm gently to steer the unwilling girl away.
David glanced at me for a second, his eyes widening in mock fear at the anger in mine, then turned his toes toward my room, his body following in a theatrical manner a second later.
I stormed after him, closing the front door then the bedroom door behind us, and spun around to look at him, returned, in all his glory, but just as infuriating as before. “Why didn’t you just tell her the truth?”
“No need to slam the door,” he said, softly laughing at me.
“I didn’t slam it.”
He sat on the edge of my bed, dumping his duffle bag at his feet. “Did you want me to tell her?”
“Is there any point in hiding it? We’re not in high school anymore, David. And Emily isn’t stupid.”
“I know.” He reached a hand out to me. I took it and sat beside him. “But she’s in an emotional state. Not the best time to break that kind of news. Just let her get over the bliss of new love, then we’ll tell her.”
“Is that what you did with me?”
He left my words hanging in the openness of our light moment for a second. “Maybe. But you’re not over the bliss of love yet.”
“No, I’m damaged by it.”
“You know, it hurts me when you say those things.”
“Why?”
“Because, I—” He huffed impatiently, his voice laced with grief. “Why do you think?”
I looked into my lap, about to apologize, but just smiled instead. It was nice to be cared about by David again.
He stole my hand. “It’s surreal being here right now. I’m almost afraid this is just another dream—that I’ll wake up any moment and my world will fall apart.”
I looked sideways at him. “Then, if you wake up, come find me.”
He nodded. “Okay. I promise.”
A comfortable sort of silence lingered between us then, and my mind wandered over thoughts of my night from the rush of Karnivale, winding down to the emotional events that led to David’s return. But among it all, Emily’s tears replayed most often—tears she cried for another broken heart. It almost made me mad that my own best friend had put them there.
“Why did Jason leave her?” I said out of the blue.
“Leave who?”
“Emily.”
He scratched the back of his neck, his words falling through open lips as nothing more than a sigh. “Really? You want to know this now?”
“Yes.”
“Ara, it’s late, we should—”
“Should what? Waste even one precious hour by going to sleep? No way. I want answers. Don’t you think I deserve—”
“Okay, okay.” He laughed, taking my hands. “I was going to tell you, I just wondered if you wanted to sleep first.”
I simmered down. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.”
“Sorry.”
“Ara.” He laughed.
Realizing I’d just apologized for apologizing, I said, “Sorry.” Then we both laughed softly, my whole face going hot with the sensation.
After a hesitant second, David said, “It was my fault.”
“What?”
“Jason and Em.”
“Why?”
“The laws you learned about—the ones that prevent humans and vampires being together long term—they’re out-dated and downright unfair. Jason wanted to change them instead of changing Emily. And I refused to help, even though, with my position on the Council and my knowledge of the law, I had the power. I told him to get over her, that she was nothing but a human.”
I covered my mouth. “How could you?”
“It’s how I felt then, Ara.” He shrugged, indifferent. “She just wasn’t worth the rigmarole I’d have to endure to make that kind of change.”
“The same rigmarole your uncle is going through right now?”
He nodded thoughtfully, his eyes darkening with something I couldn’t distinguish. “It won’t work,” he said after a while. “The case between Jason and me has merely cemented their notion that humans and vampires cannot mix. They won’t change the laws now.”
“Is that what Jason intended by kidnapping me?”
David looked right into my face, gently curling a strand of hair around my ear. “How do you say his name that way? How can you speak of him so casually when, last we talked, the mention of him saw you dark?”
I swallowed. “I don’t know.”
“Has he made a presence in your life before tonight?”
“No.” I was taken aback. “Why would you think that?”
“He… he’s capable of great compassion and kindness, Ara—enough to sway a hurt young girl’s heart from hatred to…”
“To?” I said, feeling a distinct rise of fear and anger. “Don’t leave that line hanging, David.”
“Look. It doesn’t matter. Just… you’d tell me if you’d been… if you’d seen him, wouldn’t you?”
“You’d have seen it yourself. You went back through my thoughts.”
He nodded, leaving both hands in his lap. “I guess so.”
“He saved me tonight, David,” I added solemnly. “And now I’m really confused about where he stands in my vault of terrors, that’s all. That’s the only reason I can say his name without shaking.”
He nodded a few times to himself, his eyes and smile on the ground, waiting a while to speak. “Or perhaps you’re just conditioned to tolerate terror now, and that’s why he doesn’t scare you anymore.”
“Possibly.” I had been exposed to the dark side of the vampire world a bit lately. Maybe I was just desensitized.
David smiled. “Hanging out with Éric de la Rose will do that.”
I smiled too, remembering the way his feet left the ground when Jason punched him. “Yeah, he’s pretty offensive.”
“He’s a typical vampire.”
“And a creep.”
“Yes.” David exhaled hard enough that his breath chilled my knee through my jeans. “But, despite his moronic behavior, and as much as I hate to say this, he’s not the kind of guy who’d have taken you to Karnivale to kill you or let you get hurt.”
“I know.”
He nodded. “But, he’s also not really qualified to be watching out for you either. He’s lucky my brother was there to save you tonight, or this would’ve ended very badly for him.” I cringed a little, looking at David’s tight fists and thinking of what Jason said he’d do if Eric got me killed.
“Strangely, I’m glad Jason was there, too,” I said.
The fists tightened.
“I’m sorry. I know that’s sick.”
“It’s not, sweetheart. Not at all.” His green gaze left mine then. “What is sick is what he said to you after.”
“Which part?”
“The part about him… his falling for you.”
“I—” I rubbed my hand along my cold arm and let myself acknowledge the fact that, under me, my jeans were saturating my brand-new mattress. “I just want to forget that ever happened, David. If that’s okay?”
I hadn’t noticed its weight, but at those words, David’s face changed and the stress he’d clearly been wearing the last few minutes evaporated, softening the stone mask. He held his arm out and I rolled against him, both
us falling lazily back on the bed.
“Know what makes this so perfect?” I said, looking up at the roof.
“You mean aside from the fact that you’re in my arms?”
“Mm-hm.” I rolled slightly, resting my hand on his chest.
“Okay, what, aside from that, makes this a perfect moment?” he asked, his deep tone humored, his hand over mine, making it colder.
“The fact that I’m freezing, wet, and probably ruining my mattress.”
“Why would that make this moment perfect?”
“Because it shows how much I love you—that my body hasn’t bothered shaking; that I barely noticed how cold I was until I stopped to think about it; and because it means I’ll never forget how I feel right now.”
“What? Cold and tired?”
“Right. So now, every time I get cold or tired, it’ll remind me of being back in your arms again.”
His arm tightened around me, the Adam’s apple shifting in his throat.
I moved my head up then from the crook of his shoulder to the place my hand had been, and laid my ear carefully down to listen for his heart, smiling when all I heard was the hollow whir of his breath, like cupping your ears and listening to yourself breathe. And that familiar, homely sound spread out around me, occupying every space in my room and finally allowing my heart a safe cage to let go—to acknowledge the pain I’d felt without him. This bind, this love was eternal, even if we were apart. I couldn’t get back the time we’d lost with each other, nor could I magically bless us with more, but for tonight I could place a proverbial blindfold around my eyes, close out the world and all its needs, and just be here in this moment, in the now, with him.
“You’re so warm,” he said, touching his fingertips between my cheek and his chest. “You’re almost changing my body temperature.”
I blew onto his fingers. “Yeah, you’re unusually cold. I mean, you always had cold moments, but—” I leaned up on my elbows, my eyes casually skimming his wool jumper then his jeans, not searching for anything in particular, until I saw the way his hipbones stuck out between the wool and denim. “You haven’t been eating, have you?”
He propped his arm at an angle behind his head, eyes fixed on the ceiling. “No.”
“You’re so thin.” My fingers stuck to his wet clothes as I tried to glide them along his waist, so I shaped them like a spider’s legs and crept them over his ribs, down the sinewy line of his waist and stopped on the sharp point of the elephant graveyard that once was his hip. He felt so different, as if he was someone new, unfamiliar to my touch. “Does your hunger make it hard to be here with me?”
Dark Secrets Box Set Page 89