David’s eyes sparkled. “I hadn’t realized that.”
“Our destinies were tied even over fifty years ago.”
I watched his face as a smile crept into the corners of his mouth and he sat slowly taller, thought growing in his eyes. “Your namesake—Amara—your father’s mother. That was her!”
“No.” My brow pulled low. “No, it had to have been my mother’s mother. Only females are born to Lilithian Pure Bloods.”
“No.” David shook his head, his eyes wide. “I looked for her—for the baby. They told me she’d been adopted, that her name was Amara. I just never made the connection until now.”
“But”—tiny bumps of cold ran over my arms—“then, did I inherit my Lilithian blood from my grandmother, or my father?”
“Ara, don’t you see? If Amara was your father’s mother, and Lilithians only give birth to females, then your dad isn’t your biological dad. And if your mom, Eleanor, was not related to Amara, then she’s not your birth mother.”
“But…” My mouth dropped. “How can that be? I look like my mom. I have her hair.” I held up a long, silky-brown strand.
“And you look like your father as well, Ara—too much for you not to be of that blood.”
My limbs flooded with heat then cold as the world stopped, and my heart pounded in my chest, thumping to the beat of unforgivable deception.
“Ara, calm down.” David gingerly rose to his knees.
“He lied to me. My birth story. Telling me endlessly how much I look like my mother—lies!” I slammed my fist down. “All lies.”
“Ara, you’re scaring me. Just—Ah!” A shot of adrenaline burst out through my shoulder as David touched me. He flew back, cracking the black rock with his spine, and fell limply to the ground.
“David?” I stared on for a breathless second, feeling the heat in my hands suddenly retreat, leaving them icy and stiff. But David didn’t move. He lay motionless, pale, like a corpse.
I fell to my knees at his side, shaking him. “David! Please, please wake up! Plea—”
“Now there’s something I haven’t felt for a while,” he groaned, rubbing his head.
“What happened?”
“I think…” He sat up, clutching his chest. “I think my heart might have beat for a second.”
“Are you serious?”
He nodded, staring at the ground.
“David, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I—”
“Don’t be sorry. You are amazing.” He touched my shoulder, cautiously. “I’ve never seen a vampire with that kind of power before, Ara. That was phenomenal.”
“Really? And you’re not hurt?”
“Uh—” He rubbed the place where his heart would be. “I am, but I’ll be okay.”
I fell against his chest, hands closed tightly behind his back. “I can’t believe it, David. My dad lied to me. All these years.”
“I’m sure”—David lifted my face—“he had good reason to, sweetheart.”
“I have to know.” I jumped up. “I have to ask him.”
“Ara, wait.” David stood up slowly, as if he were human, and chased after me. “Ara. Don’t do this now.”
“I have to know,” I stated, walking faster.
“Ara?” He grabbed my hand. “He’s kept this from you for a reason.”
“And?” I stared into his eyes, trying to see his point.
“You can’t just go charging in there demanding the truth when you’re supposed to be in Paris—on your honeymoon.”
“Yes, I can. He’s my dad. I know he’s my dad, David. It can’t be true.”
“My love, we don’t know anything yet. These are all just theories. Just,”—he embraced me. I went reluctantly—“we’ll figure this out together, but you just have to let it go for now.”
“Why? Why are you so quick to keep me from this, David?”
He moistened his lips, looking away. “This is big, Ara. You need to be focusing on the Blood Warriors right now. They’re coming to kill us, remember? And your dad may not even be aware he’s not your biological father. We just don’t know enough to go in there demanding facts.”
“You’re right.” I gave in. “I’ll wait.” Wait until he wasn’t with me, that is—then I’d talk to my dad.
“Thank you, Ara. Thank you for trusting me.”
“Well, you always know what’s best for me.” I smiled, but he missed the sarcasm.
“I promise you”—he looked deep into my eyes—“I will not rest until I uncover the truth.”
I hugged him just a little tighter, thinking, Me neither.
* * *
David flicked out the bathroom light and disappeared under the fingers of darkness. “What you thinkin’ bout?” he asked casually, suddenly leaning on his elbow beside my head.
“Nothin’.”
He pressed his lips into a tight line, but his eyes smiled. “I wish I could read your mind. It made things so much easier.”
“For one of us, maybe. I prefer it this way.”
“I thought you liked it when I could read your mind.”
“That was before I discovered how good life is without you invading my headspace all the time.”
He rolled over and lay on his back, linking his fingers behind his head. “That’s because it means you can keep things from me now.”
I rolled up on my elbow. “What would I possibly be keeping from you?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “All I do know is that you’re quiet—a lot, and you flinch if I come up suddenly, and…”
“And?”
“And we’ve had six arguments in the last forty-one-hours.” He looked sideways at me.
“So you’re saying I’m confrontational?”
“No, sweetheart, just that you’re…” He sighed.
“That I’m what? Maybe a little edgy still, since I was tortured to death, literally, then resurrected, only to kill my husband, burn him alive, then watch him struggle to recover. God!” I huffed and rolled onto my back, slamming down hard. “You’re so insensitive.”
“I’m not insensitive, Ara. You’re just antagonistic lately. I can’t say anything without it turning into an argument.” He leaned up on his elbow. “What’s going on with you? Is there something you wanna talk about?”
“Even if there was, I don’t want to talk about it.”
He laughed. “Well, you know you can tell me anything. I’m always here for you.”
“I know.” I let out a long, chest-sinking breath.
Thing was, I’d already told him what was on my mind.
He just hadn’t heard it.
In my head, I jumped up off the bed, towered over him with waving arms and screamed it all at him again, scolding him for everything nasty he did to his brother: all the torment. All the pain. He caused all of this. If he hadn’t hurt Jason, and Jason had never tortured me at the masquerade, none of this would’ve happened.
And I’m so mad at you, my brain continued, pacing angrily. You never told me any of that, never let me into your past. In fact, you went a step further than just not telling me and actually did everything you could think of to keep me from any truths about yourself. I love you, I wanted to say. I know you’re good, but I can’t help but feel like, maybe, I don’t really know you at all, and that makes me angry—at nearly everything you say. I just feel like it’s all crap!
“Penny for your thoughts,” he said, suddenly right in front of my face, smiling down at me.
I smiled back. He made it so hard to be mad at him. “I was thinking about Jason.”
“Jason?” David drew back a little and sat up.
“Yeah.” I sat up too. “When you were kids, did you ever play in a wide f—”
“Ara. I can’t talk about this.”
“Why?”
“My brother is dead.” His whole body went rigid and he stared me down, hollow eyes polluted with something I couldn’t distinguish. “I don’t want to talk about my childhood, of all t
hings.”
“But—”
“No buts.” He rolled away and pulled the blanket over his shoulders. “That’s the end of this discussion.”
My mouth fell open a little as a tingling layer of hurt surrounded me.
Well, fine, I thought. Guess that’s it for tonight then—for our last night together for who knows how long.
I shuffled down under the blanket and rolled the other way, shifting as far away from David as my queen-size bed would allow.
* * *
Summer sun kissed the backs of her thighs, making her yellow dress glow even under the shadows of the leafy oak tree. Her legs swung as she absentmindedly picked the petals off a daisy, flicking them onto the breeze.
“He loves me. He loves me not,” she repeated.
Her small voice filled the warm silence of the day, sounding like a child playing in the distance. I wandered carefully forward, preparing myself for more truths about this self of mine I didn’t remember—this self that once played here in these mind-links with another man.
“He loves me.” She picked another petal and threw it away, rolling onto her back, her wavy hair sprawling out brown against green. “He loves me not.”
“He loves you.” Jason clasped a hand over the daisy, dropping to the ground beside her.
“Where did you come from?”
“Well, when a mummy and daddy vampire love each other very much—”
“Ha-ha.” She slapped his shoulder with the back of her hand. “Very funny, Jason. You just sprung up out of nowhere. I didn’t know you were here today.”
He motioned to the gentle breeze making the leaves dance above them. “It’s sunny, isn’t it? Aren’t I always here when it’s sunny?”
“No, it’s always sunny when you’re here, there’s a difference.”
Jason smiled softly and brushed the backs of his fingers over the side of her face, sweeping her hair back as he did. “You have grass in your hair.”
The girl smiled and reached down beside her, ripping up a handful of the green field, then sprinkled it onto Jason’s head. “So do you.”
Jason’s Cheshire cat grin warmed even my heart from where I stood, watching, looking on like some outsider who’d never lived this moment.
“That’s it,” he said, and rolled her over, landing between her legs with the long grass curving up around them. “Now you will pay the price for my new turfpee.”
“Turf-pay?”
“Yeah, like toupee, but made of turf.”
She cackled. “And what might the price be for your new turfpee?”
“A kiss.”
“Just a kiss?”
“At first. Then”—he leaned closer—“you can promise me one more every day for the rest of your life.”
“One, for now.” She smiled mischievously. “And if you make it sweet, I’ll give you something more.”
I fell suddenly under the weight of Jason’s body, taking form as her lips became mine and touched his. And the feel of him, so real, so solid, made my heart jump. Made me miss him and hate myself at the same time for feeling that way.
I sat bolt upright, the sweat on my brow cooling under the chill of the absent day in my bedroom.
David didn’t even stir. I watched him, waiting, but he stayed heavily under the restful dreams that seemed to belong to everyone in this house but me. I threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, desperate for some fresh air.
* * *
A thousand stars welcomed me to the lakeside, and the night air kissed my cheeks with frosty lips. I stopped by the water and folded my arms, fighting back the tears.
It may have been calm and quiet out here, but the intensity of that dream had followed me. He felt so real. Jason. It felt as if I not only saw that memory but relived it. And I wanted it back as badly as I wanted it gone.
At my feet, the moonlight offered me a reflection, wavering like steam in the almost still water. And the girl I looked upon, who I’d seen so many times in my life, was no longer a stranger. She had lived another life in dreams I couldn’t remember, but the truth, deep inside, was that we were the same. What she had done, so had I, and I could no longer deny that her reflection was mine.
The grief took over then and I folded in on myself, dropping to my knees in front of the lake. The girl reached out as I rested my hand to the cool water, letting my fingers sink through her face. And she cried too, because she knew what I felt, knew what I’d suffered. I wanted to see him behind her—to see Jason—to look at him again and tell him what I couldn’t tell my husband: that I was antagonistic lately because, inside, I was grieving, crying out for someone I shouldn’t be missing; regretful for the way he died, for what he lost, what he suffered in the moments that led to his death.
And all Jason wanted was for me to take his life and free myself from the burden of the bind—the very thing that, I had to believe, was making me feel love for him as I sat here alone in the middle of the night.
“Ara?” The warmth of a jacket draped over my shoulders, and David rubbed his hands up my arms a few times. “What are you doing out here? You’ll catch a cold.”
“I won’t catch a cold.” I stood up, shaking the water off my hand. “I don’t get sick.”
“Actually, Lilithians can get sick. And I’d rather not test it.” He stood at a bit of a distance from me, as if he was afraid or maybe just too angry to touch me. “Why are you crying?”
I couldn’t tell him about the dream, but I wanted to so badly. I wanted to share my grief. But when Jason died, something broke in David’s heart. He’d never had to live with mortality before; he’d always had Jason there to fight with, or ignore to make a point. I actually believed David grieved Jason’s loss deeply and silently, like I did.
But out in the open, the truth would make us both sick—to know that the other felt anything for him after what he did to us. So I took a deep breath and said, “I’m just scared about tomorrow—about meeting the Lilithians.”
“I know.” He nodded softly.
“Can’t you just come with me—hide, maybe live in the bedroom or something?”
He laughed out a short breath. “I wish I could, but I have work to do here, Ara. Being dead—or supposedly dead—gives me an advantage other vampires don’t have. No one will be looking for me. I can track Drake without being noticed. And besides, someone has to do a better job of researching your genealogy than Morgaine has.”
I nodded, wandering over to fall into his waiting arms. “I’m sorry we’re fighting.”
“We’re just stressed, Ara-Rose.”
“Even then, we should be supporting each other when we find it hard, not arguing.”
“I know. And it gives true definition to our vows, don’t you think? That even being immortal does not free us of the struggle to keep our promises to love and honor for better or worse. But, I am in love with you.” He tilted my face upward. “And despite my failures as a husband in the last day-and-a-half, I know that when all’s said and done, I care how you feel, and fighting or none, my life is nothing without you.”
I nodded against his shirt. “One day we’ll know what it feels like just to be in love, without laws or prophecies coming between us.”
“No, my love.” He sighed, tangling his fingers in my hair. “I don’t think we will.”
* * *
The somber tune broadcast the pain in my soul: the sorrow of a soon-to-be absent lover, hardened by the sting of goodbye. I closed my eyes and played from my heart, focusing on the soft rise and fall of my breath, feeling the energy of my emotions electrify my fingertips and the keys, giving them a gentle glow.
“Sad?” said a smooth voice.
“Is it that obvious?” I rolled my head back, keeping my eyes closed as David kissed my brow.
“That aura of light you get around you when you play, it’s blue right now. It’s usually a hundred different colors.”
“Really? I never noticed.” I chose to keep my eyes closed these days, finding
it hard to deal with this supernatural string of electricity flickering around my fingertips when I played. It just seemed so unnatural. But it was triggered by emotion, and nothing invoked emotion in me like music.
“It bothers you.” David sat beside me.
“Yes.”
“If it’s any consolation, Ara, it’s very beautiful, like one of those plasma globes.”
I smiled, allowing my mind away from the shadow of immanent pain. Just now, in this moment, I was home. There was love around me, family, safety.
Later, when I arrived at Loslilian Manor, I’d be someone else. No longer just a girl. And that was the funny part about it all, really. I was just a girl, but to the Lilithians I was already a princess, powerful and strong. They knew nothing of me, of my story, of my life. They never would.
As the last high note rang out into the echo of my mind, David closed the cover on the keys and rested his hand over it, smiling.
“What you smilin’ at?” I looked up.
“We have a while until Mike and Emily get back from the store.”
“And?”
“And from what I hear, there’s supposed to be a child somewhere in our future.”
My eyes narrowed, but my lips turned upward. “You want to do that now?”
Dust motes danced in the white sun filtering through the window over the piano, and David’s fingers swept the air around them slowly, coming to rest along my cheeks as he planted the softest, sweetest kiss on my lips. “Yes, now.”
My eyes opened from their involuntary close, and I marveled at the electric blue David’s became with my lustful energy—the energy that filled my veins, charging my touch with a shock that could be, at the same time as dangerous, also very intimate.
“I love that feeling,” he said, closing his eyes and savoring it, as if he’d tasted a sweet treat for the first time.
“And I love this feeling.” I placed my hand over his.
David’s whole demeanor changed then. His hands moved quickly under my arms and he hoisted me off the stool and onto the piano top.
Dark Secrets Box Set Page 137