“What are you doing?” I asked, laughing.
“Showing you what it’s like to make love on a piano top.” He waited, as if asking approval, so I let my legs fall softly open, and David traced the inner curve of my thigh, all the way up my skirt, to my warmest spot. “Lie back.”
He didn’t need to ask twice. As I rolled my spine flat, each vertebra touching the hard, glossy surface under me, David slid his other hand up my skirt and gently guided my underwear down.
“Do you really want our child to be conceived on such an uncomfortable surface?” I said.
“Ara, my love, to create life with you would be like filling my soul with light. I don’t care where or how we conceive our child.”
Aw. “I love you, David.”
“I love you too, my beautiful”—he climbed up on the piano and kissed my nose—“delicate rose.”
“Forever?” I whispered.
He smiled as he kissed my lips but didn’t answer.
And like a carefully choreographed dance, David pressed himself between my legs, cradling my hips the way only his hands knew how. I closed my eyes, breathing the warmth of the man I loved, reveling in the perfection of his vampire touch.
So many things had been lost in our lives and yet, after all the heartache, after all the chaos, so many new and great things had been discovered. We found that no matter what, our love was strong enough to overcome torture, death, separation, and anything else fate could think of to throw at us, including a spirit bind. And that for all the times the world tried to tear us apart, we would always find a way to come back to each other—to find the warm embrace of eternal love and never, ever let it go.
At last, I was immortal.
At last, I was in David’s arms.
And at last, we had forever—his forever and my forever. Finally the same.
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
* * *
“I believe we search for the meaning of life until we find a purpose. Then we no longer wonder why we’re here, we know.”
~Ara-Rose
1
Life is nothing without pain. We cannot feel the warmth of the sun without knowing cold; we cannot feel the joy of a smile without knowing heartache. But sometimes I wonder how we could know joy without ever experiencing it, either.
My life would end today, when I hopped in the car at the end of the driveway and saw David in the rear-view mirror, waving. It would be enough to crush me. But right now, in his arms, safe and protected from that fate, I could imagine this was what joy felt like.
“Don’t say it, Ara.” He stepped back from our embrace. “It’s only goodbye if you say it.”
“That’s not true, David. I’ve never said goodbye to anyone I’ve lost, doesn’t change the fact that they’re gone.”
He smiled softly, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone. “Well, who knows, maybe I’ll turn up some positive information on your bloodline. Perhaps you were adopted after all, and you’ll be saying hello to a whole new family you never knew you had.”
“Well, I’ll keep the dad I have, but I’d like a sister.”
He laughed a little. “Then, a sister I shall find you.”
We both looked up to the car when Mike cleared his throat for the tenth time, leaning on the hood with his arms folded and the passenger door sitting open.
“I think that’s your cue to go,” David said.
“No, the last four huffs before that were. He’s one grunt away from physically removing me.”
“Shall we run away then?” he suggested, but his eyes offered only humor, not the proposition I hoped for.
“I wish we could. But then who’d catch the big bad vamp?”
He waved a dismissive hand. “Let the humans do it.”
I laughed and wrapped my arms all the way around his ribs, disappearing from the warmth of the near-summer sun against the shade of his towering height. “I’ll see you soon.”
“You will.” He kept one hand around my neck as I backed away. “I’ll capture Drake for you, Ara, and I’ll be at the manor by the end of summer.”
“Promise?”
David shook his head. “Too many promises have not been kept, my love. I won’t promise this, but I will promise not to rest until I find that son of a bitch.”
“You know,”—I stopped walking, making Mike huff louder—“I’ve been thinking about that.”
“About what?”
“Drake. It’s not his fault there’s a prophecy kid that can kill him. I mean, I know that ever since Morgaine and Arthur started exchanging notes they’ve decided that there was never a war over Lilith taking Drake’s throne and that he killed her to stop the prophecy coming true, but we’d do exactly the same thing if something was gonna kill us.”
“Yes, and may the best man win.”
I shook my head, not convinced. “I think we should negotiate with him; maybe make a promise not have that kid so he’ll stop hunting us.”
David shot a terse breath through his nose. “And this is why children should not take on adult responsibilities.”
“Who? Me?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not a child.”
“Ara, you’re nineteen. You’re a child.”
“Then you are too. You’re nineteen.”
“I’m over a hundred-and-twenty years old. My body is nineteen. But my mind is wise beyond that—far wiser than yours.”
“So, now I’m dumb?”
“Not dumb, my love, I’d never say that about you. You’re a very smart girl, but sometimes you just see things with the innocence of a child.”
“I disagree. I think I’m right about Drake.”
Clearly irritated, he turned away slightly. “You’ll see, in time. Your decisions will directly affect others now, mon amour, and I can only warn you so far. There will come a point where you will have to see the damage you’ve done before my words finally sink in.”
I huffed, dropping my hands onto my hips. “Well, if you think you know so much, you go rule those people.”
“I will be ruling. Once we catch Drake.”
“Fine. Then you can do it alone. I quit. If I know nothing, why should I—”
“Ara.” Mike grabbed my arm from behind and tugged me toward him. “Stop arguing, baby. We gotta go. The Lilithians are waiting to meet their princess.”
“No.” I shrugged from his grasp. “I’m not going anywhere. How can I find one ounce of faith in myself when no one else seems to have any?”
“We do, baby. We’re all just stressed, okay.”
“David?”
He glanced up from his feet.
“Do you really believe I’m too young to do this?”
“Just say it,” Mike said to David.
“Say what?” I asked, confused.
“Nothing,” David said firmly, staring Mike down.
“Guys!” I stomped my foot. “Stop doing that. I know you’ve been talking about me when I can’t hear you. What’s going on?”
Mike took a breath. “He’s not worried about your abilities as queen, Ara.”
David stepped forward a little, warning Mike not to elaborate.
“I’m sorry, mate, she deserves to know.”
“Know what?” I said.
“He’s worried about the spirit bind.”
David sunk back, silently cursing.
“Really?”
“See, this is exactly why I was worried,” David said. “You swore you wouldn’t tell
her. You just can’t do it, can you? You just can’t separate yourself from her.”
“I’m marrying Emily, David. There is nothing going on between Ara and me.”
“Doesn’t mean there won’t be.” He turned away and gave the picket fence a little kick with his toe, gentle enough not to knock it down.
“Oh, my God. You think because I’m bound to him—a one-sided mind-link bind—I’m going to betray our wedding vows?” I marched over to David. “How can you think that?”
“Because I know your heart, Ara. It rules everything you do, and I know you’d follow it to your own detriment!” He looked at Mike for a second, his eyes narrowed, a thousand words not found in the dictionary being aimed at him across the lawn. “I love you, okay, but you’ve never loved just me. And I’m sending you away for God-knows-how-long to live in a place without me. If you get lonely or scared or”—he shook his head—“you’re gonna go to him for comfort. And he won’t deny you.”
My mouth wouldn’t close. I looked at Mike, then David, unsure what to say. And Mike didn’t say anything either, maybe because he’d already had this argument with David.
“You know, of course I’ll go to Mike for a hug or some companionship, David—he’s my friend. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to forget I love you,” I said.
“Hasn’t stopped you in the past. Nay, the lake?”
“Oh, my God! Is this say-whatever-you-can-think-of-to-hurt-me day? Christ, David. You’re such an ass sometimes.”
“No, Ara.” He grabbed my arm. “I just love you. And I am so sick of losing you that the very idea of you getting in that car right now has me blinded with madness.”
“You’re not going to lose me, David. I have to go away, yes, but I won’t let myself be with Mike. I swear it.” I touched my chest as if to seal the promise in my heart.
“Don’t.” He shook his head. “Don’t swear it, Ara; promises have never stopped you from doing what you want to do. So don’t make a promise to me, because I know you can’t keep it.”
“David, that’s a horrid thing to say!” And it wasn’t true. What had gotten in to him?
“I know, but”—he wet his lips, shaking his head as several sentences came to mind but only one came out—“something’s different; it’s not like it was before.”
“What’s not?”
Even though I saw him hesitate, it felt like it just came right out. Coldly. “Our love.”
The world rocked beneath me. “What are you saying?”
“Just forget it.” He turned away.
“No.” I grabbed his arm. “I won’t just forget it. David, tell me what you mean.”
“I mean”—he towered over me as he walked closer—“all we do is fight. I can’t read your thoughts; I can’t even read your heart anymore. Whatever the connection we used to have…”—he looked over at Mike then back at me—“it’s gone.”
“Gone?” My blood ran cold. “So, you don’t love me?”
“I didn’t say that.” His voice softened.
“Then what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I don’t trust you like I did before. And I don’t even know why. I just know there’s something different about you, and I don’t trust it, whatever it is.”
“Different?”
“Just forget it.” He turned away again. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Yes, you should.” I followed him. “That’s the real problem with this relationship, David. You never say anything. You never tell me anything.”
“Maybe I have good reason for that,” he said, walking faster.
“What reason? What have I ever done to prove you can’t trust me?”
“You never listen,” he hissed as he spun around. “You make misinformed decisions about what’s best; you let your heart control everything you do. If you would just grow up, just”—he held his hands up, shaping his sentence into a ball of frustration—“none of this would’ve happened if you were even a little bit more mature.”
“None of what would’ve happened, David?” I challenged, wearing my hands in a gesture of authority.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Think about it. Just trace over everything we’ve suffered, Ara. It’s all because you couldn’t make up your mind; all because you have some deluded idea of what right and wrong is.”
“Deluded? Deluded! Damn it, David. Killing is wrong. That’s all I ever had a problem with. Why can’t you see that? Why do I have to take the blame for all of this, when at any point you could have shared yourself with me: told me how you killed Rochelle, told me to watch out for your brother—that he might come after me? You could’ve warned me he could mind-link, saved me all this anguish for being in lo—” I zipped my words back in. He couldn’t know the truth of those dreams I had. Couldn’t know Jason ever mind-linked with me other than the dream where he bound me. Couldn’t know I still cried over his death.
David stepped carefully toward me, becoming taller as he grabbed my arm. “Being in what, Ara?”
I swallowed. “No one’s to blame here. Okay. Things happen, David. We can’t blame each other, or we’ll never get through this.”
He let go of my arm. “You’re keeping something from me. I can feel it.”
A bubble of energy pushed against my thoughts, and I stared back at his hard eyes with the wall of everything at stake rising up in front of them, protecting them in case he got through. If he ever found out that I had loved Jason anywhere in my heart, I’d never see him again.
“You’re right.” I took the route of deflection. “I do love Mike. And the spirit bind complicates things. But it always has. It’s never been any different. The only difference is that I’m aware of it now; I know it’s not real.”
Mike wandered back to the car then, shaking his head. David and I watched him for a minute.
“You don’t need to worry. I promise”—I emphasized the word he said I could never use—“that nothing will happen between Mike and me.”
David looked to be caving, like he might take me in his arms and kiss my head. But he stiffened, becoming that hard man I’d seen a few times now, and looked over at Mike before glaring back down at me. “I wish I could take your word. I really do. But I don’t trust either of you,” he said, and disappeared.
My gut churned, calling up the rise of bile I’d held down all day. I folded over and put my hands on my knees, certain all the stress was going to come up my throat.
“He’s just scared, Ara.” Mike lifted me to stand.
“No.” I shook my head, searching the entire lakeside park for my vampire. “No. He believes it. He really believes I’m going to cheat on him with you.”
“Come on.” He made me walk to the car. “We’ll worry about it later, okay. You can send him a message on Facebook when we get you settled at the manor.”
“He shut his Facebook account down, Mike.”
“He did?”
“Yes. Dead people don’t go on Facebook.”
“Oh. Right. Well, you can send him a text. Okay?”
I nodded, not feeling any better. “How can he have so little faith in me?”
“I don’t know, baby. But he knows you better than any of us. Maybe he’s right.” He shrugged. I glared at him murderously. “Or maybe not. I don’t know. But he clearly thinks very little of me too, to think I’d ever cheat on Em. I may love ya, baby, but I’m not that sort of man. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know.” I looked back at the house as I hopped in the passenger seat of the car. “I’m sorry you got dragged into that, Mike.”
“Don’t stress it.” He shut the door and appeared in the driver’s seat a breath later, smiling widely. “Let’s just go have a shit-load fun training some knights.”
He clicked his seatbelt into place, and I offered a smile, but my gut was missing, still left on the ground where David’s words tore it out. I could only conclude that he’d caught on to my deeply-buried truth about Jason but, then again, if he had, he w
ouldn’t still be here.
* * *
The grass arched like a parting sea around his outstretched leg. He tapped his foot to a beat only he could hear, while the pages of the tatty old book in his hand flickered in the warm summer breeze.
“Read me a line?” a girl said, swinging one leg over the branch of the tree above him.
He looked up and smiled for a moment, then flipped through a few pages until he found what he was looking for, and read aloud.
The girl sat back with one leg tucked under her knee, her dress hanging loosely past the branch. “I like the sound of your voice when you read. It’s soothing.”
The guy stopped and closed the book. “That was my aunt’s favorite passage.”
“Why?”
“Never asked her. My uncle told me he used to read this one passage to her, sometimes three or four times in a row, sitting under this very tree.”
“Under this tree?” she said. “But this is my dream. How can they have been here?”
The guy’s smiling eyes rested on his book again, a secret hiding behind them that he could share if he wanted, but chose not to.
“What was your uncle’s favorite passage?”
“I’m not sure he had one. I’m not even sure he liked this book.”
“Why did he read it then?”
He rested his head against the trunk. “He told me once that he never felt good enough for Arietta—that he always felt like a monster, darkening her purity. He read this story to her because he liked to believe even one who is deemed a monster can truly be good inside; that we all deserve love no matter what we are.”
“Is that why you like the book?”
“No.” He grinned and stood up, leaving the book open on the grass. “I like it because it has a tragic ending.”
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