Letting You Down (An Allie Down Mystery Thriller Book 4)

by PJ Fernor

“Detective, please,” Anthony said. “I can’t imagine the stress of your job. But you have to-”

  “What exactly do you do here, Jerry?” I asked.

  “I’m an associate,” he said.

  He smiled.

  “A bully? A murderer?”

  “That’s twice you’ve accused me of murder,” Jerry said.

  “Anthony, get your phone and record this,” Giovanni said. “We’re going to the lawyers.”

  “Nobody is going to do that,” Ben said.

  He approached me and touched my arm.

  He needed me to calm down.

  I needed to calm down too.

  But the wires in my mind were crossed.

  I wasn’t able to stop Dr. Jerry from kidnapping Lo. I wasn’t able to see through who he was and get to The One before it was too late. Dr. Jerry slipped away and turned up dead.

  So my anger was never resolved.

  Until now.

  “I work in finance, Detective,” Jerry said. “I assist with the loans. I’m involved in all aspects of the business. I guess you can call it a passion of mine.”

  I pointed to his forearms. “With tattoos like that? You really think you’re a businessman?”

  “Now, now,” Anthony called out. “Are you really going to judge someone based on their looks? Because a man like Jerry has tattoos that makes him… what?”

  “I’m good at my job,” Jerry said.

  “I bet you are,” I said. I pointed to Jerry. “Don’t push at me right now.”

  “You have nothing,” Jerry whispered.

  “Detectives, this is your last chance to leave,” Giovanni called out. “My brother has been far nicer than I ever would have been. I will start making phone calls if need be.”

  I looked back at Anthony. “We’re not through.”

  “I think we are,” he said. “I cannot disclose personal financial matters of someone else. Yes, we have conducted business with Calvin. No, we did not kill his girlfriend and cut off her hand. I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I assure you, we are not some mob family in a movie. This is the real word, Detective.”

  “And in the real world, Jessica was murdered because of Calvin.”

  “Then you should talk to Calvin,” Giovanni said.

  “Excuse me,” I said. “I wasn’t finished. Jessica was murdered because of Calvin and his business dealings with this company.”

  “Prove it,” Giovanni said. “Leave. Find your proof. Goodbye, Detective.”

  Ben touched my arm again. “Let’s go.”

  Before I could move, Jerry walked to the door and opened it for Ben and me.

  “Good luck, Detective,” Jerry said with a smile. “I’m sure you’ll figure this out.”

  I paused and looked at him again. “I can sense it on you. I won’t stop until I know the truth. You have no idea who you’re up against.”

  “That doesn’t scare me one bit,” Jerry whispered.

  My lip curled high into the air. “Believe me, Jerry, it should.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  I hurried out of the building, slamming my hand to the door, throwing it open.

  Ben was right on my tail.

  Ten steps outside, he touched my arm.

  “Allie, wait a second,” he said.

  I ripped my arm away and kept walking.

  I swallowed hard and felt way too many emotions hitting me at once.

  Ben jogged to get in front of me.

  He turned and put his hands out. “Allie Down…”

  “What?” I asked.

  “That got a little tense up there. We said that wasn’t going to happen.”

  “There was no choice, Ben. They’re guilty.”

  “Of course they are.”

  “So, what do we do?”

  “Allie, they’re guilty… but we don’t know of what. We knew that going in. They’re shady. But they’re smart. If they call their lawyers and talk about what just happened…”

  “So what?” I asked. “Bring it on. That’s what I say. Bring. It. On.”

  “That’s not going to get us anywhere,” Ben said. “You looked ready to go after that guy. Trust me, I got a vibe from him too. There’s no way he’s just some finance guy. But until we-”

  “It was more than that,” I said. “Figure it out, Ben. If you can’t, go find that detective looking guy and ask him. Maybe he has more of a brain than you do.”

  I dished out the low blow and walked away.

  I made a left and walked to a long, stone bench and sat down.

  In front of me, the water fountain sprayed water.

  The sound was soothing. The air was cold. Every few seconds I got hit with an icy mist.

  People walked by the fountain like it wasn’t there.

  Only one person paid attention to it.

  A woman.

  Young.

  Wearing a backpack.

  She reached into her pocket and took out a coin and flipped it into the air.

  The coin smacked the water and she shut her eyes to make her wish.

  I shook my head and looked at the ground.

  A shadow climbed over me and I knew it was Ben.

  He sat down next to me.

  “I’m sorry, Allie Down.”

  “For what?”

  “I let it slip through the cracks.”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “The name. Jerry. I should have known right then.”

  I lifted my gaze and looked at him. “It hit me hard, Ben.”

  “Of course it did. It’s a trigger. It’s okay to have a trigger or two. You’re not weak, Allie Down. You’re not vulnerable. You’re human.”

  “I don’t want to be,” I said. “I want to be focused. I need to be focused. The second I heard that name…”

  I swallowed hard.

  We sat in silence.

  Ben slowly moved his left hand and put it over my right hand. “I’m always here to talk. Professionally or personally. I can’t imagine what you must go through on a daily basis with everything. As your partner and as more than that, I should have known. The second that guy said his name is the second I should have gotten you out of there.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I’m just not used to that.”

  “Neither am I,” he said. “I’m sorry that happened.”

  “It’s done and over with,” I said.

  “Hardly.”

  “Ben. We need to figure this case out.”

  “We are.”

  “No. We really need to figure it out. Hearing that man’s name brought it all back to me. And now I’m thinking about that whiteboard. All that work I put in and it’s gone now. Knowing that The One is still out there. And then hearing that name… Jerry…”

  “Let it out, Allie Down,” Ben said. “Take five minutes right here and let it all out.”

  “I’m good,” I said. “It wasn’t all just that. Those brothers are guilty as anything.”

  “You think they murdered Jessica?”

  “No. Someone that works for them did.”

  “Then we keep going,” Ben said. “We can’t storm that office again without cause and a warrant. We both know that. I highly doubt our discussion up there even rattled them.”

  “Probably not,” I said. “And you know what the worst part is?”

  “What?”

  “Vulnerability,” I said. “That’s what they prey on. And you just got done telling me it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s not, Ben. Not with guys like that. Think about it. I heard the name Jerry and almost lost myself up there. Widen that image, Ben. Someone behind on rent or their mortgage. Someone who needs their car fixed. Someone like Calvin who wants to do something good and feels like they have no choice. Of course they know what they’re signing. But do they really understand it? They’re getting these loans in a time of such dire need. And then…”

  “They get hurt,” Ben said. “They get attacked. Threatened.”

  “A hand cut off…”
<
br />   Ben nodded. “You’re smarter than anyone I have ever met, Allie Down. You see things others can’t. I hope you realize that. All the stuff that’s happened to you just gives you more perspective into life and people. Which translates into cases like this one. So let’s talk about what we have. Calvin took out a loan. Fell behind on it. From there, we don’t know what happened. We could try to get cell phone records. See if there’s a pattern of a number calling.”

  “Even if that were the case, the number wouldn’t trace back to Anthony or Giovanni. They’re not dumb.”

  “True,” Ben said. “But we can show the pattern. Maybe we can see if Calvin’s had any work done to his car. A flat tire. Busted light. You know?”

  “Still… no proof.”

  “Do you think they just went to Jessica first?” Ben asked. “That seems extreme.”

  “The loan is extreme,” I said. “A big loan. I think Anthony and Giovanni messed up on that one.”

  “And if that’s the case…”

  “They would attack hard,” I said.

  “We need proof to back that up,” Ben said.

  I stood up. “Yes, we do.”

  Ben stood up and turned to face me. “Hey. Allie Down.”

  “What?”

  Ben touched my face and slowly kissed me.

  Next to the water fountain.

  There had been a time in my life I would have thrown fifty dollars in coins into a fountain to get a kiss from Ben.

  It was a short-lived kiss.

  We had a lot of work to do.

  “Let me buy you a coffee, Allie Down,” he said.

  “Sure. But we’re talking this case.”

  “Of course. What else would we talk about?”

  Ben winked and walked away.

  He was stealing my heart.

  Which wasn’t a bad thing.

  Just as long as he could put all the pieces back together properly.

  I turned and looked at the building.

  I shoved away all the romantic feelings.

  I still had a murder to solve.

  Chapter Thirty

  Ben brought me a coffee and we chose to sit at an outside table.

  The air was cold but not cold enough to chase us inside.

  He sat down and shook his head.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Some of that music, I don’t get it,” he said. “I can deal with the indie stuff. The folk stuff. I like the sound of a banjo and mandolin. But some of that stuff is just noise.”

  “It’s focus music,” I said. “Keeps the brain calm but not distracted by words.”

  “Look at you,” he said. “Shutting me down so quick.”

  “It’s what I do. Now let’s talk.”

  “Okay,” he said.

  We ran through the case again.

  It felt good to be there with Ben in that capacity.

  It made me think of when I first returned to Sandemor. When I was trying to settle into my new life with Lo and the apartment. Getting to know Miss Kesslier. Finding my place around the station and with the mundane things that came across my desk. It seemed the second Ben and I looked at each other, though, there was a big case just waiting to be solved.

  “And now we have to pin it on Anthony and Giovanni,” he said.

  “With a lot of dead space in between,” I said.

  “That’s what we’re good at,” he said. “We can look into Jessica’s schedule. I mean, she did run there all the time. Maybe there were others she knew? Other runners? Friends? You know? Maybe someone ran with her once or twice. Even if it was recent, maybe they could describe anyone they saw.”

  “Maybe Jessica said something to Calvin,” I said. “Said someone was watching her?”

  “Why would she go back to the same spot?”

  “Because Calvin told her she was crazy,” I said. “Or because she didn’t want to be that woman. The one who changed her life for something like fear.”

  “In other words, we need to talk to Calvin again,” Ben said. “And he’s not going to do that.”

  “It’s shady, Ben.”

  “Very shady,” he said. “Okay. We just have to keep finding the little pieces. We can visit the crime scene. Look around. We can look at the evidence they took. I’m sure there’s lab reports coming soon too. This thing will bust wide open.”

  I took a deep breath.

  If we were driving in a car down a straight road, this was where I cut the wheel hard to the right.

  “I can’t let it go,” I said.

  “What?”

  “The One.”

  Ben straightened and frowned. “Allie…”

  “I know. It just doesn’t go away, Ben.”

  “We just talked about this on the bench.”

  “And it’s still there. Listen to me, Ben. The case that made me a detective… I still think about that second girl. There was a second girl and I was never able to find her. I was going to lose my new badge if I kept saying it. Then look at Alex. My sister died in a car accident and the other person took off. I know the department did their job the best they could. I trust in that too. But I have no closure there. The man or woman driving another vehicle that took my sister’s life is out there. My sister’s death was tossed to the side…”

  “It wasn’t like that at all, Allie,” Ben said. “I worked myself into exhaustion on that. I went to every body shop in three counties, okay? I called up old contacts and started going after mechanics, one by one… I had Laura follow me and pull me out of my car to tell me to stop. The fact…” Ben shook his head. “The fact…”

  “What?”

  “Whoever hit Alex’s car took off. They just kept going. They weren’t from around here. And your sister was…”

  “I know,” I said. “Alex was drunk when she was killed.”

  “That doesn’t make it right,” Ben said.

  “Ben, I have no closure. And now with The One. It’s the same thing. No closure. I didn’t even get to face Dr. Jerry. He made me choose between arresting him and finding Lo.”

  “You made the right decision.”

  “I don’t doubt that for a second, Ben. But I didn’t get everything I wanted. And it just lingers in me. And now this case. Jessica was killed. Her hand cut off. Her boyfriend is in the mix of it with a dirty loan from Anthony and Giovanni. They seem untouchable. And it’s exhausting. Okay? That’s what it is. Exhausting. I moved back to Sandemor for Lo’s sake… not my own. And look at everything that’s happened.”

  “It certainly has been a lot, Allie Down,” Ben said. “But everything you’ve faced, you’ve conquered. This doesn’t help you, but you’ve won. I don’t know what you believe in after death, but if you’re like me, I believe Alex is up there” - Ben pointed to the sky - “looking down and smiling at you. She’s proud of you. And Lo. Lo is proud of you too. You gained Miss Kesslier, who is like a family member in her own right. You found Jessie. Remember her? The missing girl in that homemade cabin in the woods? You were the one that stuck it out and made sure she got home safely. You saved Johnny’s life. I know that decision to pull the trigger weighs on you, Allie, but I’ll never forget that you did it for him, even if I don’t like the guy all that much. I can go on and on with what you’ve done since you’ve come back.”

  “Yet I keep thinking about The One and all that Lo has been through. Honestly, Ben, sometimes I wonder if I should have just stayed in the city with her. Forced her to get settled. At least there I knew the landscape. And it was big enough that not everything felt so personal and close to me.”

  Hurt washed over Ben’s face. “Does the mean you’re thinking about leaving Sandemor?”

  “I’d be a liar if I said it hasn’t crossed my mind a few times.”

  Ben stood up. He cleared his throat. “Well, I’m sure whatever you decide to do, it will be for the best. For you.”

  He walked away.

  “Ben!” I called out.

  Shoot, Allie. Way to go. Open mouth, insert b
oth feet there…

  I raced after Ben, coffee in hand.

  “Ben, wait!” I yelled. “I didn’t mean it like that. We were just talking.”

  Ben stopped and turned. “My first instinct is to go with you. Okay? To pack up and follow you. And believe me, I would. But I can’t with Dad. He needs me around. I’m stuck here. You’re not. At least I know that for sure. Up until thirty seconds ago I thought you were stuck here too.”

  “Nobody is stuck,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere, Ben.” I touched his arm. “I can’t… I can’t imagine not having you in my life. Not seeing you each day would hurt me.”

  “Is that it? It’s just about seeing me?”

  “No, Ben. It’s a lot more than that. I can’t see myself without you. Okay?”

  “You sure?”

  “I promise,” I said. “I was just venting to you.”

  “I know you have a lot in your life, Allie Down, I just hope there’s always room for me. I’ve waited for you for a long time.”

  “I’m here,” I said. I reached for Ben’s hand and took it. “Now let’s finish these crappy cups of coffee and go find the person who killed Jessica and cut off her hand.”

  “All things considered, I’ll take that as a romantic gesture,” Ben said.

  He tried to take his hand back, but I refused to let him go.

  I never wanted to let him go.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  When we got back to the station, Laura waited for me in my office.

  She snapped her fingers at me.

  “What have you been working on?”

  “Excuse me?” I asked.

  “We’ve been working on Jessica’s murder,” Ben said.

  “Allie too?” Laura asked.

  “Yes,” Ben said.

  “I can speak for myself here,” I said. I stepped toward Laura. “Why are you asking about what I’m doing?”

  “We have a lot of moving parts here right now,” Laura said.

  “Do we?” I asked.

  “Why don’t we tell you what’s going on?” Ben asked, jumping in between Laura and me.

  I knew what she was doing.

  Pushing at me, to make sure I was mentally there.

  Which I respected.

  But I didn’t need it.

  “We need to go after IY Green,” I said.