by Sarah Bale
Richmond stood and said, “You haven’t even seen the best part.”
LaTonya rolled her eyes. “If you’re showing him the gaming system then we’re staying here.”
“Dude!”
I laughed and watched two grown men go excitedly to play video games.
LaTonya sighed. “He plays that thing hours at a time. Sometimes I fall asleep out here just so I don’t have to listen to it.”
“I understand that.”
Mesquite played a game on his phone and would get lost in it if I let him. He even admitted to spending money on buying extras in the game, which I pointed out was a rip off.
LaTonya eyed me for a moment and said, “You’re good for Mesquite. His last girlfriend was a bore among other things. I’m glad he got tired of her.”
“He’s good for me. And I’m not sure if I’m his girlfriend.”
It had only been two months. I wasn’t sure what we were.
“Let’s see how accurate the locker room gossip is. You two met at a signing, right?”
I nodded. “Yes. Random, right?”
“Not so random. I met Denver at a signing. Of course I’d been writing the newsletter for his website for about a year before that, but still.”
Since she’d brought up Denver I asked, “Did you ever date him?”
“Yeah, until we realized we were better off as friends. He is the one who introduced me to Richmond.”
I had gotten the impression that Denver wasn’t happy she was dating someone, but didn’t mention it.
She must have guessed my train of thought because she said, “It’s still weird to see each other dating other people, but we’re getting there.”
We changed subjects and she told me her modeling days. So it had been her on TV. She also mentioned everything I needed to know about some of the other girlfriends - who was nice and who was nothing but drama.
“And I’m sure you know all about the rats.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’ve seen them around.”
“They’ll stay out of your business for the most part, unless they think they can get your man. Then they’ll stop at nothing.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Can you believe they had the nerve to call me a rat after Denver and I broke up?”
“Was it because you started dating Richmond?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t make me a rat. A rat is someone whose goal is to sleep with as many wrestlers as possible. I’ve only slept with two of them.” She paused. “Or maybe three. Anyway, that’s not enough to make me a rat. Richmond shut down some of the rumors, too, and no one is going to go against what he says.”
I nodded thoughtfully. That made sense. And LaTonya didn’t really remind me of some of the other rats I’d met in the past.
“Besides, what does it matter anyway? As long as no one gets hurt.”
She had a point there.
July 23
Richmond invited us to a concert with him. It meant staying an extra day, but it was well worth it when I found out the band.
“How did you get tickets to the concert? They’ve been sold out for months.”
Richmond shrugged. “When people find out I like something they go out of their way to make sure I have it.”
“Dang. Must be nice.” To Mesquite I asked, “Does this happen to you?”
He pointed to the designer sunglasses on his head. “Yup.”
I looked at LaTonya. “Girl, we’ve been doing life wrong all along.”
She laughed. “No doubt!”
July 26
I got called into the boss’ office today. I knew it was coming, but kept hoping I was wrong. The other girls had started avoiding me, as if they sensed I was on my way out. My boss made sure I was seated before taking his own seat behind the desk. A human resource’s representative wasn’t there, so that meant I wasn’t getting fired. Hopefully.
“Jamie, we need to have a talk. Would you say you like your job?”
Uh-oh.
“Yes, sir.”
“And would you say that you give your job one hundred percent?”
Ouch. Was I about to walk into a trap? Was there really a correct answer to this question?
“Yes, sir. I try.”
He stared at me and nodded, but didn’t speak. Standing, he went to the window and looked out.
Crap. Crap. Crap. I was about to get canned. I knew it.
He turned. “The company is wanting to expand our horizons and, after observing you for a while, we feel you may be the right person for our new position. It comes with a raise and I think you’ll like some of the other perks, such as setting your own hours and working mostly from home.”
I sat up straighter. “This is unexpected. Thank you, sir.”
Unexpected because I’d been turned down for the last two promotions. But this… this sounded amazing.
He smiled broadly, which was maybe the second or third time I’d seen this happen. He looked halfway human when he did so.
“Well, Jamie, we love to reward our loyal employees. Thank you for setting such a great example.”
I’m fairly certain I floated from his office. Not only was I not getting fired (hooray!) I was going to get to work from home (or wherever Mesquite happened to be) AND I was getting a raise! Heaven was surely smiling down on me.
August 8
Mesquite stretched next to me in bed. MY bed. He was actually in MY bed. I ran my fingers through his hair, sighing in contentment. We’d just made love. The thought didn’t even make me pause. It was the closest I had felt to him.
He stroked my arm as he held me close. I was so damn glad he’d made time to see me before leaving for a two-week tour out of the country with the company.
“A man could get used to this.”
I smiled. “Agreed.”
“How’s being your own boss working out?”
“Great. I love only having to go into the office once every two weeks.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Now I’m curious.”
He looked down at me. “I wasn’t going to do this like this.”
“Do what?”
My heartbeat sped up a little.
“Jamie, I really want you to think about moving to Florida. It makes sense. Things are going so good between us. You just got a promotion that makes it possible. But most of all I’m tired of not seeing you all the time. I miss you, Little Pasty.”
I traced a pattern on his chest as I tried to collect my thoughts. When he’d mentioned me moving to Florida before it had been too soon. Our relationship was still fresh and we were both caught up in the spell of the newness. But now when I said I loved him, I meant it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart.
He wasn’t kidding when he said he was tired of not seeing me. Not seeing him whenever I wanted to was awful. Each time we left each other it got harder.
I licked my suddenly dry lips. “I think I’d like to try it, too, and see where we end up.”
I felt his heart pound against his chest.
“You mean it?”
I nodded. “A trial basis. I’ll keep my house here until we’re sure. But I’m willing to give it a shot.”
He kissed me, not needing to say anything. I knew he was happy and so was I.
August 10
My house seemed quite empty without Mesquite there. It was strange. I’ve lived alone since high school, but two nights with him changed everything. Thinking about his words, I prayed I wasn’t making a mistake. Was it too soon to be considering living with him? It didn’t feel like it.
I needed advice and so I called the only person I knew who would understand.
“He really wants you to move? Wow, Jamie. That’s great.” LaTonya’s tone was sincere.
“You really think so?”
“I do. Believe me, if Richmond offered, I’d move in a heartbeat.”
I hoped I wasn’t overstepping when I asked, �
��Why hasn’t he offered?”
She sighed. “Oh, you know…the usual. He’s only been divorced a few months and doesn’t want to jump into anything too serious. Plus, I think what we have scares him.”
“I’m sure he’ll ask you.”
“Maybe.” Her tone perked up. “Hey, this isn’t about me. This is about you. I say you should go for it. The worst thing that could happen is you find out you’re not compatible. And it’s probably better to find it out now rather than later.”
Well, that was true. I hadn’t thought about it like that. We chatted for a few more minutes and then hung up. She was right. I needed to find out if Mesquite and I were compatible. It was now or never.
August 12
Mesquite couldn’t stop grinning when I told him I’d be at his house when he returned. We were talking over Skype and the connection kept buffering which kind of ruined the moment. He promised we’d celebrate properly after he got back from South America. I wished I’d been able to join him on this tour.
“Next time,” he promised.
August 15
My boss pulled me into his office again. This time I wasn’t scared, but curious.
“Jamie, you’ve done quite well in your new position. Less than a month and already we’ve seen great improvement.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I called you in here?”
I nodded.
He went on, “We’ve decided that you’d be the perfect person to train people at our other locations. This means more traveling, of course. How does that sound to you?”
This was everything that I had been working toward. Just shy of taking my boss’s job this was the highest promotion I could get.
“I’m afraid you will have to follow a more structured schedule again if you accept the position. We’d need you to be here a couple of days a week.”
My heart sank.
“When would you need an answer by?”
The surprised look on his face told me that he thought I accept the position on the spot. I couldn’t, though. Not until I talked to Mesquite.
“We’d need to know in a week. There are other qualified applicants who are waiting as well.”
I nodded. “Of course. I’ll have my answer by the end of the week.”
FUCK.
August 17
Standing at the bottom of the escalators where Mesquite would be coming down when he arrived I held a sign that read: Angel Eyes.
A few random people made smart ass remarks about the sign, but I ignored them. Mesquite had texted a few moments before saying that his plane had landed and that he’d be the first one off.
I saw his tall figure and waved. I was in his arms a moment later. He surrounded me with his warmth and I inhaled, forgetting how much I missed smelling his cologne.
“Angel Eyes?” he asked when he finally let go of each other. “Is that in retaliation to Little Pasty?”
I nodded.
“I kind of like it.”
I laughed. “You would.”
While I wasn’t sure if Little Pasty fit me, Angel Eyes definitely fit him. He took my hand into his own while we waited for his luggage. The gods must have been smiling down on us because no one approached him for a picture or autograph. I was sad when he let go of my hand to get his luggage off the carousal. When in the heck had I become that person?
The car was waiting for us outside. He’d told me that he never drove himself to the airport because it was ridiculous to pay the parking fees. Instead, he used the same car service. The driver greeted him by name and Mesquite introduced me.
“You’ll be seeing a lot of Jamie.”
I smiled. The driver said something nice and then we left the airport. Even sitting in the car Mesquite and I held onto each other.
“How was the tour?”
“Exhausting. They pack the tours with so many stops that it’s hard to even remember where I’m at, but the fans were great so it helped make up for being tired.”
“Did you at least get to go sightseeing?”
He shook his head.
“That stinks.”
He gazed out the window and then turned to me. “I’ve been thinking about taking some time off.”
That was so unusual for a wrestler to do. Most worked unless they were injured or wanting to retire. Being absent often meant that your spot was gone when you returned.
He said, “I can see it all over your face. You think I’m crazy.”
“No! It’s not that.” I chose my words carefully. “What made you decide this?”
His forehead scrunched up as he looked at me. I could see tiny scars where he had been injured in the ring over the years and I resisted tracing the one over his eyebrow.
“Jamie, I thought it was pretty obvious.”
Before anything else could be said we arrived to his house, which was as beautiful as I’d imagined it would be. Mesquite liked nice things and his home was no exception. His driver unloaded our bags and Mesquite tipped him.
We entered the house through the front door. The grand foyer took my breath away. It was clean and simple, but stunning. Marble floors, white walls, and a chandelier that must have cost a fortune.
“I’ll give you a tour of the house after we finish our conversation.”
He left our luggage by the stair and led me to the den. It reminded me of a man cave with the leather furniture, wood floors, and rustic feel. He sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him.
“Why would you even have to ask why I’m considering taking time off? It’s because I want to spend time with you. And being off the road will give my body time to heal.”
“I just don’t want to be the reason you cut back on the road and lose your spot.”
He huffed at me.
“Mesquite, we all know it happens. There’s always some young gun who is waiting to seize a moment like this.”
“You should give me more credit than that, Jamie. I’ve already talked to the higher-ups. They are on board with it. I’ll cut back and miss the weekend shows, but still do TV tapings.”
I questioned, “Don’t you think this is too much too soon?”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean, this was supposed to be a trial. Now you’re talking about working less and I… I just don’t know.”
He searched my face, trying to find answers. “Jamie--”
“I know you don’t mean to move too fast. You just can’t help it, Mesquite. You’re like a tornado. When you want something you get it, but you don’t realize the impact it has on others.”
“Wow.”
He stood and began pacing. I knew this man. He was trying to keep his cool.
“Are you saying that you don’t want any of this? Why did you even agree to come here if it’s not what you want?”
How did I tell him that I did want everything he did, but I was torn?
I went with the truth. “My boss wants to promote me again.”
“What? That’s good, right?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, Mesquite. I’ve wanted that promotion for a long time, but if I take it then that means we’ll have to put me moving to Tampa on hold.”
“For how long?”
“Indefinitely.”
“You just got a promotion. Isn’t that good enough?”
Shaking my head, I said, “Not compared to this. It’s my dream job, Mesquite.”
He looked defeated and I hated that I caused that look.
He sat in the chair across from me. “So what do we do now?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Jamie, you’re not making this easy for me. I want us to be together, but it doesn’t feel like you want it as much as I do.”
Was he right? I shook my head. No, he was wrong. I wanted our relationship to work as much as he did. But sacrificing my career just to be with him felt like I was cheating myself. I voiced my thought and his entire expression changed. The man I loved now
looked at me as if I were a monster. Maybe I was.
“You wouldn’t be sacrificing anything. We’d be growing our life together.”
“No, you’d have your career and I’d be the wrestler’s girlfriend.”
“Jesus, Jamie. You make it sound like this is not long term. Like you’re just my flavor of the week. I love you. I want to be with you. If anything I’m the one who is sacrificing something.”
His closed his mouth, but the words were already out there.
“And there it is.” I stood. “Mesquite, I think we should take a break. We both need to figure out things. I’m going to take the promotion and I want to see how it works out. And I want you to do whatever makes you happy. Maybe after some time apart we’ll both know what we want and what we’re willing to sacrifice.”
Leaving his house was the hardest damn thing I’ve ever done. But I did it. And I’m proud of myself.
August 19
Him: I miss you. Can we talk?
I ignored the text. If I answered him now I would cave.
I missed him so fucking much. The pain left in his absence was unbearable.
August 22
As miserable as I was at home I was equally as happy with my new job. I’d thought the last promotion was good, but this new one was everything. But was it worth not having Mesquite? That was the million-dollar question.
August 27
I got a random text from Richmond today. I almost didn’t reply.
Richmond: You should come to the show this weekend.
Me: ?
Richmond: He misses you, Jamie. He looks like shit. He’s being a dick to everyone. Just think about it
Me: I appreciate you looking out for him, but I think we need more time apart.
Richmond: Just be careful what you wish for.
I wanted to ask what he meant. His words sounded like a warning? Was it? Was Mesquite talking to someone? I thought about texting LaTonya or Denver, but didn’t. No. I needed more time to figure things out.
September 8
If my boss doesn’t keep surprising me I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.