“I already know,” I interjected before he could continue. “Ronan told me.”
Hawke stiffened and pulled his hands free of where he’d been holding mine. He was clearly waiting for the recrimination he expected me to heap on him.
In truth, I’d struggled with what Ronan had shared with me the night before he’d told me he was flying to Wyoming to check on Hawke and that Matty and I could come with him if we wanted or we could stay at the house on Whidbey Island with Seth. The idea that Hawke had killed people, scores of them, was hard to swallow and a part of me had been horrified. But then Ronan had told me the story of how he and his fiancé had been beaten and brutally raped with a foreign object – an attack so vicious that his fiancé, Seth’s older brother, had died from his injuries. And there’d been no justice for either of them when the military had refused to acknowledge the attack. Ronan had been upfront about Hawke’s role in helping him seek vengeance. After that, he’d handed me a thick stack of papers and told me I needed to decide for myself.
I’d spent hours that night looking through the criminal records of all the men and even a few women who’d died at the hands of Ronan and the men who worked for his underground vigilante group, Hawke included. Among the descriptions of the horrendous crimes had been stories of failed justice and missed opportunities. And the victims…that had been the hardest part to read about. Some as young as Matty, some as innocent as Hawke’s wife. By the time I’d finished, the sun had been rising and I’d gone to find Ronan before Matty had woken up and I’d told him that Matty and I would be joining him.
“It doesn’t change anything,” I said to Hawke as I sought out his hands again. “Ronan showed me everything and told me I had to decide for myself. We’re here Hawke,” I said as I squeezed his hands.
“You can’t be okay with it,” Hawke said in disbelief.
“Truth?”
Hawke nodded.
“If it’s something you need to do, I’ll figure out a way to deal with it. But if we’re really going to do this – if we’re really going to try and build a life together, I don’t want to have to keep a secret like that from our son.” At Hawke’s indrawn breath I lowered my voice and said, “He’d be ours, Hawke. You would be his father.”
My stomach clenched at the prospect that all of this might be over before it had really even had a chance to begin.
“Our son,” Hawke said softly as if testing it. He nodded, a small smile gracing his strained features. “Ours,” he repeated as he dropped his eyes. When he lifted them again, they were bright with emotion and he said, “I’ll tell Ronan I’m out.”
“Hawke-”
Hawke leaned forward and kissed me. “We’re going to be a normal family, Tate. You, me and Matty.” Hawke sifted his fingers into my hair and whispered, “He’s going to get better and then we’re going to have it all. Play dates, after school activities, PTA shit…all of it. Do you hear me?”
I laughed and nodded. “No more pretending.”
“No more pretending,” Hawke said softly and then he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.
The gentle kiss quickly turned heated and my body took over. I straddled Hawke’s lap and took over the kiss as his palms skimmed down my back and settled on my ass. I’d already changed into my sweats so Hawke had no problem pushing his hands into my pants to grip my ass so he could grind our lower bodies together.
“I need you,” I said as I leaned down to grab the hem of my shirt and yanked it off over my head so Hawke’s hands wouldn’t have to stop what they were doing.
But when I leaned down to kiss Hawke, he only gave me a quick kiss before he stopped everything he was doing and said, “Our last night together…in the shower,” before stuttering to a stop. I watched in disbelief as color flooded his cheeks and I was innately glad he’d left the overhead lights on because I was sure I would have missed the show of embarrassment otherwise.
“Yeah,” I urged as I cupped his face with my hands and forced him to keep looking at me. “Did you like it?” I asked, knowing exactly what part he was talking about. I’d taken a risk when I’d played with Hawke like that, but clearly it had paid off.
Hawke smiled and let out a little laugh. “You know I did, you little tease.” Hawke began caressing my ass again. “I want more,” he finally said. “I want all of you,” he clarified.
I stilled because I hadn’t expected that. I thought he’d want a repeat of what I’d done to him in the shower. The idea of being inside Hawke was both exciting and overwhelming.
“I…um, you should know I’ve never been with a guy like that before…Reggie wouldn’t let me and the guy at the club was only interested-”
Hawke cut me off by putting his whole hand over my mouth and I didn’t miss the anger that flashed across his face. “Sorry,” I murmured against his hand as I realized bringing up my previous partners hadn’t been the best way to go. I repeated the apology when Hawke removed his hand.
“I trust you, Tate. I really want this.”
I swallowed around the knot in my throat and nodded. “Okay.”
Hawke’s smile did funny things to my heart and I kissed him hard. It took just minutes to get back to where we’d been, but it all went to hell when I reached down to pull his shirt off.
Because right after I realized that at some point Hawke had removed his wedding band and was now wearing it on a chain around his neck, I saw the new tattoo on his chest, right above Revay’s.
The tattoo that was a perfect replica of the picture I’d taken so long ago of the two birds I’d hoped to one day follow to freedom.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Hawke
“Oh my God,” Tate whispered just before he covered his mouth with his hand. His shocked eyes lifted to mine and he slowly lowered his hand. “How?” he asked, his voice cracking as tears flooded his yes.
I’d stopped caressing Tate as soon as he’d seen the tattoo, but instead of answering him, I removed one of my hands from where I’d been holding him and reached into my nightstand drawer. I handed him the picture I’d taken from the trailer and he stared at it for a long time, letting his finger run over the pieces of tape I’d used to put the picture back together. The tattoo artist had gotten the image exactly right.
Tate lowered the picture and reached out to trail his finger over the ink on my skin.
“Why?” he asked.
I raised my fingers to wipe away his tears. “Because I needed something of you that I could keep with me. You may not have believed you were ever strong enough, Tate, but from the moment I met you, that’s all I saw. You’ve taken on every storm in your path and come out the other side.”
Tate shook his head in disbelief, but I was glad when he didn’t argue with me. Of course, he seemed incapable of any kind of speech, so I wasn’t sure if that wasn’t part of the issue. His arms went around me and I held him for a long time – as long as he needed.
When he leaned back to once again look at the ink, his finger brushed over my wedding ring. It hadn’t been as much of a struggle to take off as I’d thought it would be, but when I’d been faced with the prospect of hiding it away somewhere, I hadn’t been able to do it.
“Does it bother you?” I asked.
Tate pressed his fingers over the ring and shook his head. “No,” he choked out. “No, it doesn’t bother me.” He lowered himself back down and continued to play with the ring and the tattoo.
“Will you make love to me, Tate?” I said against his ear before brushing it with a kiss.
Tate nodded against me and then pulled himself back and wiped at his face. He climbed off the bed and held out his hand to me. He ran his hands up and down my sides, setting my skin on fire with his touch. “Does the door lock?” Tate asked.
“What?”
“The door? Does it lock?”
With Tate’s caresses wreaking havoc with my mind and body, it took a moment to understand what he was asking and why. When I finally got it, I nodded and stepped away f
rom him long enough to lock the door. But I hesitated before flipping the lock. “What if Matty needs us?”
Tate smiled. “He’ll knock or he’ll call out to us. Don’t worry, we’ll hear him. Parent hearing,” he said with a chuckle as he tapped his ear.
I flipped the lock and returned to him. I leaned down and said against his lips, “I have a lot to learn.”
“We’ll figure it out together,” Tate said and then he kissed me. It took only minutes to get back to the level of desire we’d been at before Tate had discovered the tattoo. Once we’d gotten each other undressed the rest of the way, Tate urged me to sit on the bed and then he said, “Scoot back a bit.”
My nerves started to kick in as Tate fished the bottle of lube out of the drawer of the nightstand, but he merely dropped the bottle on the bed next to us and then crawled up my body and settled his weight on top of me as he kissed me. What followed was sensual torture unlike any I’d ever known. Because Tate touched me everywhere and with every part of himself. And when he was done with my front, he rolled me over and started on my back. Lips, teeth, tongue…he used every weapon in his arsenal to consume me and I was so hard by the time he reached my ass, I was sure I was going to explode the second he touched me there. By the time I felt my cheeks being opened, I didn’t care how exposed I was. Not like that time in the shower.
I forced myself to wait for the feel of Tate’s finger probing me, but it wasn’t the rough pad of a fingertip that touched me. My whole body reverberated with shock when Tate’s tongue licked over my entrance and I let out a harsh groan at how unexpectedly good it felt. His finger had been heaven, but his slick, wet tongue…it was indescribable. And he didn’t just lick me. He nipped, he sucked, he kissed and then his tongue was pushing inside of me and I buried my face in the bedding to stifle my shout of pleasure. It could have been two minutes or twenty before I felt Tate’s fingers touching my hole, but it was only to spread my hole open even farther so that he could sink more of his tongue into me.
“Too much,” I ground out as I began humping the bed in the hopes I could make myself come.
Tate ignored my pleas and kept teasing me and then his finger was entering me. But instead of finger fucking me, he mixed it up so I was always on edge, not knowing how long it would be his tongue or his finger spearing inside of me. When it was his finger, he massaged my prostate, but the contact was too fleeting. Whimpers began erupting from my throat as my orgasm began to build, but the second I made a move to reach my hand between my body and the bed, Tate was pulling away from me and rolling me onto my back. I moaned when his tongue slipped inside my mouth and while the musky, forbidden flavor should have freaked me out, all it did was make me want more.
Tate used one of his hands to urge me to part my legs and as soon as I did, his cock brushed mine as he shifted his weight and then his finger was pushing inside of me again. I’d somehow missed him putting lube on it though, but feeling the cool liquid being spread around inside me both excited and frightened me. Because Tate’s finger and tongue were one thing, his cock another.
“I can make you come like this,” Tate suddenly said as he continued to finger fuck me. I loved that he was giving me an out, but I didn’t need it.
“No,” I said. “I want you inside of me when I come.”
Tate nodded and leaned down to press a soft kiss over my lips before he sat up and reached for the lube. I forced myself to take even breaths as I watched him prepare his cock. His eyes connected with mine and then he reached for my legs and placed them on his shoulders. The position was strange to me, but as soon as Tate scooted forward and pressed his dick to my hole, I forgot all about it and held my breath.
“Push against me,” Tate said softly and then he began to move. At first there was just a strong burning sensation as Tate’s cock began to enter me, but it changed to full on pain the harder he pushed.
“Fuck,” I muttered.
“Breathe, baby,” Tate murmured as he stilled for a moment. I did as he told me and tried to force the rest of my body to relax. The pain got worse and the burn returned, but there was something else too. Something I couldn’t put my finger on. Something inside of me that wanted more, even as my flaming entrance was screaming that it was enough. I focused my eyes on Tate and saw the fierce concentration in his features as he watched where we were joined and I knew in that moment that this was exactly what I wanted. The knowledge helped my body relax even more and I actually felt when my hole gave way and accepted Tate’s thickness. Tate’s eyes connected with mine as he gave me a few seconds to adjust and my heart swelled at the sight of the unfettered love I saw there.
After that, the pain became secondary to everything else and by the time Tate started giving me shallow thrusts, it was almost nonexistent. Heat had started to flood my limbs and I felt like electricity was firing through all my veins with every drag of Tate’s cock. And when Tate bottomed out inside of me, I whispered his name. He heard me and looked up and nodded in understanding.
Because it was fucking perfection.
Tate pulled out of me before slowly pushing back in and pleasure shot through me like a bullet. It happened every time he did it and he didn’t even miss a beat in his rhythm as he lowered all his weight down on me and kissed me. I wrapped my legs around the backs of his thighs and reached down with my hands to cover his ass so I could feel the flexing muscles as he drove into me.
The pain had completely dissipated and my cock, which had gone soft at Tate’s initial entry, swelled with need. Tate kept kissing me as he increased his pace and I grunted every time he buried himself inside of me as deep as he possibly could.
“Michael,” he whispered against my lips. “Michael,” he repeated, his voice filled with wonder. His lips skimmed over the raised skin on my cheek and jaw and then trailed down along my neck. They brushed briefly over the tattoo and then sought out my mouth again. I struggled to return Tate’s kiss because the feeling of him driving into me with powerful lunges was nearly too much.
“I’m close,” I managed to get out as I felt my balls draw up tight and electricity fired up my spine.
“Me too,” Tate said as he sipped at my lips. “You feel so perfect, Michael. So tight,” Tate breathed against my mouth. “I could stay inside of you forever.”
I shuddered at his words, but couldn’t manage to find my own voice. I dragged my hands up from his ass to his back and held on for dear life as my orgasm finally slammed into me and I shattered. Jet after jet of semen coated my abdomen as well as Tate’s. I couldn’t contain the harsh yell that left my lips, but Tate was there to swallow it down. And he came just seconds later. He was holding onto the bedding with one hand while the other slipped beneath my head to hold me still for his kiss. His muffled cries of relief mixed with mine as he slammed into me several times, driving my hips high. Heat flooded my insides which set off another, smaller orgasm deep inside of me. As Tate’s thrusts finally slowed, I lifted my legs to wrap around his lower back so I could keep him inside of me for as long as possible.
“Love you,” Tate said as he put one of his hands over my jackhammering heart.
I only managed to nod because I wasn’t capable of speech.
Tate chuckled. “Does that mean we get to do that again?”
I managed a harsh laugh that sounded more like a groan and nodded again. Vigorously. I sucked in a deep breath and spit out, “We’re definitely doing that again,” before I dragged Tate down for another kiss.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Tate
“I can’t believe you did that,” I joked after letting Matty out of the truck.
“Every kid needs a dog,” Hawke murmured as he came around the front of the truck and brushed his lips over mine. He put his arm around me and we watched Matty carry the puppy across the driveway to a grassy area next to the house. “Besides, it was meant to be,” Hawke said as he linked his fingers with mine and started leading me towards the house.
I was exhausted from the day’
s events and even though it was still light out, I knew there wouldn’t be any issue with getting Matty to bed early because he was beyond tired. At least he had been until Hawke had stopped to speak to a neighbor of his who’d been parked near the grocery store we’d stopped to grab some dinner from. The plan had been for Hawke to run in and grab a frozen pizza, but one look at the puppy the old rancher had been holding in his arms and Matty had begged to get out of the truck so he could play with it. I’d ended up going into the store to get the food and by the time I’d come back out, the rancher was gone and Matty was happily holding the small yellow puppy in his arms. Hawke had explained that it was the last of a surprise litter the rancher was trying to find homes for and the woman he’d been planning to give the puppy to had failed to show to pick it up.
Hawke had looked stricken when he’d remembered what he’d said about it being a decision we needed to make together, but I’d let him off with a smile and a shake of my head and had sent him back inside the store to pick up some puppy food while Matty had run through a list of superhero names and finally settled on another X-Men favorite, Storm, for the female puppy.
The day after Matty and I had arrived in Wyoming, we’d said our goodbyes to Ronan, Seth, Mav and Bullet. Ronan and Seth were headed home to Seattle for some alone time while Mav had plans to explore some of the mountain passes on his huge Harley Davidson motorcycle while he waited for his next assignment. I’d learned very little about the heavily tattooed man with the long black hair except that he fit the stereotypical biker to a T. Hawke had told me that he knew little about Mav’s personal life, but I hadn’t missed the respect he held for the man. The fact that he didn’t appear to have a home to return to had bothered me greatly, but he’d declined our invitation to dinner the night Seth and Ronan had left. We’d spent much of that day exploring the town of Rocky Point and the surrounding area and at one point when we’d taken a short walk to check out Hawke’s property, he’d taken my hand and veered us off the trail we’d been on. I hadn’t had any clue what he’d wanted to show me and Matty, but it had become clear when we’d entered a clearing by a small lake and there had been a single headstone beneath the branches of a huge tree.
Retribution (The Protectors, Book 3) Page 21