F*CKING AWKWARD HOLIDAYS: 25 Short Stories of Awkward Holiday Encounters

by Plendl, Taryn

  This guy didn't know me or even my name. If I ever had a chance to step out and be crazy, this was it. Before I could talk myself out of it, I grabbed his muscular arms and pulled him close, covering his mouth with mine.

  His deep groan just fueled me more, and when he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me flush against his hard body I groaned too. God, I needed this. It had been so long since I'd been with someone who set my body on fire like this, and with the bit of anonymity of the situation, it just made it hotter.

  I ran my hands over his shoulders and down his back, enjoying the feel of his muscles flex under my fingertips. His hands wandered down my hips to where my bare legs met my skirt and slowly moved underneath. My breath hitched and he pulled back. "Is this okay?" He asked.

  "Oh, yes," I moaned.

  "Thank God!" He let out a breath and pulled me to the left, pushing me back until my back pressed against the cold bark of a tree. His hands resumed their travels under my skirt, hiking it up in the process until his fingers brushed across the front of my panties, sending jolts of pleasure straight to my core.

  I lifted my leg up, wrapping it around the back of his, giving him better access. When his fingers pushed my panties aside and dipped inside me, I threw my head back in pleasure. The hard knock against the unforgiving tree wasn't even enough to take away from the bliss I was feeling as he worked his fingers in and out of me.

  "Touch me," he requested. He didn't have to ask twice. I made quick work of his belt, button, and zipper, shoving my hand inside his pants, wrapping my fingers around his thick shaft. "Fuck, yeah," he groaned, leaning into me. The extra weight of his movement caused my foot to slip on the wet pine needles.

  We both laughed as we righted ourselves. "Hold on," he said as he fumbled with something before I heard the ripping of a package. My muscles tightened in anticipation as I heard the sound of him rolling a condom on. "Come here." He tugged me back, planting a kiss on my mouth. Without warning, he lifted me up. I instinctively wrapped my legs around him as he glided himself easily into me, moving at a steady pace as we kissed and moaned into each other.

  He felt so fucking good inside me, fitting perfectly. "Oh shit, James Bond," I gasped as he pushed his hand between us, applying the perfect amount of pressure to my clit. I threw my head back as I climaxed around his thrusting cock, gripping it with every contraction.

  "Fuck me, Sixty-nine," he exclaimed as he began to slam into me pressing my body against the tree which I became quickly aware of as I felt it scratch my back. I bit my lip, trying to hold on a bit longer so he could get his big finish. And boy did he.

  With a final groan, he stopped thrusting and pulled me harder against himself as he throbbed inside of me. Suddenly the entire sky lit up with a blast of fireworks as if they were timed with his orgasm. We both looked up and then at each other, smiling. It was midnight.

  "Ooooh! Awwww!"

  "What the fuck?" James Bond turned his head as another blast lit up the sky, as well as the grassy hill behind us where hundreds of people sat on chairs and blankets as they watched the New Year's fireworks and consequently our own display of celebration.

  James Bond slowly maneuvered us around the tree as the fireworks continued to blow up over us, continually lighting up our surroundings. "I'm going to put you down," he whispered as if everyone on top of the hill could suddenly hear us talking, paying no mind to the fact that just moments before we had been groaning loudly and practically screaming. I nodded into his shoulder, where I had hidden my face since seeing that we were on display. I wondered how many of my students and their families had come out for the fireworks. Fuck. My. Life.

  When my feet hit the ground, I quickly pulled my skirt down and smoothed my shirt and hair. James Bond fastened up his pants and looked around, waiting until the sky was momentarily dark before grabbing my hand and pulling me back toward the main strip.

  Neither of us spoke as we walked. Shame filled me as the realization of what had just happened hit me. What the hell was I thinking? I was taking this night to my grave—that was for sure. When we reached the parking lot of the bar, I was so thankful that Alyssa and I had driven separately.

  "Um," he broke the silence first.

  "Yeah," I said, "don't say anything." I shook my head, leaning into him to place a soft kiss on his lips. "Thanks for an unforgettable time, James Bond." I smiled before turning and climbing into my car. I tried to leave without looking back at him, but I couldn't help but take one more glance as I drove away. He raised his hand and waved before I turned the corner and out of sight. By the time I got back to my apartment, I was so exhausted that I fell right into bed.

  * * *

  The blaring ring of my cell phone assaulted my ears, jolting me out of bed. I looked around my room, almost forgetting where I was. When I'd finally gotten my bearings, I grabbed my phone from the floor, where I'd tossed my purse the night before.

  Hi, Lauren," I greeted my sister, my voice sounding happier than I felt. "What's up?

  Lydia! I need you here right now!" She screeched into the phone.

  "Calm down, Lauren," I spoke softly in my best teacher voice. It was way too early for this level of drama.

  "I can't calm down! That damn dog … I can't even … And then Rob! Just get here!" She yelled into the phone before hanging up on me. What had just happened? I shook my head and went to take a shower.

  When I walked through the door of my parent's home about an hour later, I realized that something had happened. The living room rug was gone and there was a smell that was a strange combination of lemon, bleach, and shit. "Hello?" I hollered.

  Lauren ran around the corner with a Swiffer in her hands. "What the heck took you so long, Lydia? We have an emergency here!" She handed me the mop and waved her hands around frantically.

  "What happened?" I asked calmly.

  She glared at me before explaining. "The damn dog got into dad's seven-layer bean dip and pooped on the floor somewhere."

  That would explain the smell. "You can't find it?" I asked, confused.

  "What?" She asked, clearly annoyed that I wasn't freaking out with her.

  "The poop. You said he pooped somewhere."

  "It doesn't matter where!" She exclaimed. "Rob dragged it all over the place!"

  I finally understood the problem, and I started to laugh. "It isn't funny, Lydia!"

  She was wrong … It wasn't just funny, it was fucking hilarious. Our dad had a habit of setting the timer on the robotic vacuum, AKA: Rob, to clean up while we slept. It wasn't his fault poor Barkly had the bean shits.

  "Can you just go over the floors one more time? I have to go get ready before David and his family gets here. A poop-filled house is the last impression I want my future in-laws to have of mom and dad."

  "Go, I'll take care of it." I motioned to the stairs.

  "Thank you!" She hollered over her shoulder as she started up the stairs. "Lydia, what happened to your hair?” She frowned, shaking her head before climbing the rest of the stairs without waiting for an answer.

  I tried to run my fingers through the matted mess on the left side of my head. It was no use. None of the hair products had been able to get all of the tree sap out of it. Just one more reminder of my wild night. I took a deep breath and finished cleaning the wood floors before taking a seat next to my dad on the couch.

  "Hi sweetie," he greeted, dropping the newspaper just enough to smile at me before going back to reading.

  "So, Rob, huh?" I asked, giggling again.

  My dad chuckled from behind the paper. "Yup. He must know he is in trouble because we can't find the little robot anywhere."

  "Really?" I asked, looking around the great room. No Rob, but poor Barkley slept in the corner, looking exhausted.

  "What a way to wake up. Your sister screaming and shit and streamers everywhere." My dad shook his head, setting the paper on the ottoman.

  "Steamers too?" I asked.

  "We had one of those little streamer poppers.
Your mom and I used that and toasted each other with a glass of champagne before going to bed. Rob must've gotten the streamers caught before dragging it through the dog poop." He shook his head.

  "Hey, sweetie," my mom came in and started working in the kitchen. I stood up and went to help her.

  "Thank you for helping your sister this morning," She shook her head. "What a mess."

  "Do you need help?" I asked looking around at the food.

  "No, I think I'm about ready." She patted my shoulder and finally looked at me. "Honey, what happened to your hair?" She reached out and tried to smooth my sap-matted hair.

  "Uh," I stammered, trying to figure out what to say. Fortunately, I was literally saved by the bell.

  "Ooh, they're here!" My mom wiped her hands on a dish towel and motioned to my dad. He stood and walked with my mom to the front door to meet my sister's future in-laws. I didn't see the need to crowd into the front entry way, so I just waited in the kitchen.

  The overly friendly voices of the parents meeting was a bit much anyway. I started moving the food around to make a little room for whatever else my mom had planned. I spotted a candle and decided to light it in hopes that it would make things smell a bit better.

  "Come on in and have a seat," my mom said as she led Lauren's fiancé and his family into the great room.

  "Lydia, honey, you know David." My mom paused as I turned to greet everyone. "These are his parents, Marsha and Jack."

  I walked toward them with my hand extended. "It is so nice to finally meet you both." They both greeted me warmly. I stepped back and subconsciously tried to smooth my hair as Marsha stared at it.

  "Honey, what happened to your hair?" She reached for me.

  "Oh, I must've bumped into a tree last night. I think its sap." I shrugged as if it wasn't a huge mess.

  "Sap?" she questioned, looking back at Jack.

  "That seems to be happening a lot lately." Jack frowned.

  "What do you mean?" My mom asked.

  "Noah had it all over his arm when he got to the house this morning. Dad had to use some goo remover from the garage, but I'm not sure it would be safe for hair." David explained, popping a piece of cheese into his mouth.

  "Noah?" I asked, confused.

  "Yes?" A deep voice sent shivers up my back, coming from behind me. I slowly turned, wanting more than anything to have that super power to make me invisible right about now.

  He was even better looking than I remembered, dressed in a darker pair of jeans and a white shirt that made his green eyes pop.

  "Lydia, this is my older brother, Noah." David pointed to the gorgeous man who I had previous carnal knowledge of. "Noah, this is Lauren's older sister, Lydia." He finished before popping another piece of cheese into his mouth.

  "David, let me get you some crackers," my mom said, opening the door to the pantry as Noah and I continued to silently stare at each other.

  "Shit!" My mom exclaimed and jumped back just as Rob rolled out of the pantry, bumping into the kitchen island before turning and heading down the hallway, dragging a hot-pink streamer behind him. A dark trail was the only thing that remained behind.

  I looked around the room at the shocked faces and couldn't hold in my laughter. No one moved until a loud shriek came from the other room. "Rob!" My sister yelled, causing everyone to frantically rush to other room, leaving Noah and me alone.

  I finally broke the silence. "Noah, huh?"

  He walked over to me, a sly smile on his face, taking my hands into his. He leaned into me causing my breath to hitch. I was sure he was going to kiss me again, but he shifted his mouth to the side of my face and whispered into my ear, "You can call me Bond … James Bond."

  At that moment, the breath I held came out in a fit of laughter. "Oh my god, that was horrible." I continued to laugh, stepping back from him. His eyes were crinkled from his smile. "What are the chances, James?" I asked, sticking with the nickname.

  "Wait, who is James?" Lauren asked from behind us.

  I looked at Noah who looked right back at me. My face heated in embarrassment. How the hell would we explain this?

  "James Bond. We were just talking about movies," Noah deflected. "Uh, Happy New Year, everyone, and congratulations you two." He reached for a mimosa and held it up. We all took one and did the same, toasting in the New Year and to the couple.

  Noah made his way next to me as everyone chatted. He leaned closer and whispered, "Happy New Year, Sixty-nine." His warm breath against my ear brought another intensely heated flush to my face in addition to a sudden urge for a walk in the park.

  The End

  * * *

  About the Author

  Taryn is a lover of books and wine, usually enjoying them together. Writing has been a way for her to step away from chaotic reality and live a bit through her fun and sometimes damaged characters. You will almost always find a Happy Ever After at the end of her stories. She can't help it, it's an addiction.

  She enjoys spending time with her friends and family but cherishes those quiet nights after everyone is asleep when she can curl up on the couch to read with her geriatric dog. (Shh, don't tell...He's not supposed to be on the couch.)

  Website: www.TarynPlendl.com

  Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorTarynPlendl

  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tarynplendl/

  Twitter: https://twitter.com/TarynPlendl

  Rebound Revenge for Christmas

  A.D. Justice

  "Baylee, we are going out tonight," Mia demands as she marches into my bedroom and yanks the covers off my bed. "And we're going to get you laid."

  "No." The pillow over my face muffles my voice, but I make my intention clear enough with my raised middle finger.

  "You stink. Get up and shower. I'll choose your outfit while you shave those thorns you call hair on your legs." She snags the pillow away and stands over me, her hands on her hips.

  She uses her "don't-fuck-with-me" stance. I recognize it all too well. I also acknowledge she'll win this argument.

  I roll off my bed and stomp to the bathroom like a petulant child. The hot water pouring over my body revives me—or maybe it was the last thirty-six hours I spent in the bed. Either way, I’m better by the time I finish drying off.

  Not that I'll admit that to Mia anytime soon.

  "Finally. She lives," Mia quips sarcastically. "I gave you the obligatory grieving period. Now you must rejoin the living and ride that pony."

  "'Obligatory grieving period'? My boyfriend of the last three years dumped me less than two weeks ago. I should at least get one week for each year."

  Mia means well. She has been my best friend since third grade and my roommate since our freshman year of college. Now that we've graduated and we're both leaving our footprints on our chosen professions, we can afford a nicer place. I wouldn't be able to deal with losing Derek without Mia acting as my crutch.

  "Move your ass in there!"

  Or my drill sergeant. Whatever shoes she needs to fill to help me.

  I re-emerge from the bathroom with my hair styled and makeup ready for a night out, even though going out is officially the last thing I want to do. Mia holds up a sexy black sweater dress with a drop shoulder. The dress hugs my curves perfectly and reveals enough leg to be provocative yet classy.

  "You are way too sexy to be pining away over that jackass." Mia's opinion of Derek has never been high. "He dumped you two weeks before Christmas, Baylee. What kind of man pulls shit like that? You need a real man."

  "I'm going out to enjoy a few drinks with my best friend. I could use a shot or ten tonight. That's the extent of my plans. "

  "Whatever you say. We'll see."

  "What have you done, Mia?"

  "Nothing, Baylee. Yet."

  We stroll up to the club entrance around ten o'clock, when the crowds are just beginning to show. The bouncer is a friend of Mia's, so he lets us through the security rope ahead of everyone else. I’d never get the star treatment on m
y own. Mia understands how to work every angle to her advantage.

  Without a second thought, Mia goes straight for the alcohol, and we elbow our way up to the bar. She signals the bartender, Alec, and he bypasses everyone else to answer her call.

  "Whatcha need, babe?" he asks with a wink.

  "Four shots of Liquid Crack, each," she replies and motions to both of us.

  "You got it. Must be celebrating something good tonight." Alec turns away with a knowing smirk and immediately begins mixing the Jägermeister, peppermint schnapps, and Goldschlager.

  Mia's mischievous expression has my stomach turning flips. The problem is, she realizes it, and she likes it this way. She leads us to an empty table and puts the tray of shots down between us.

  "Time for you to loosen up, princess." She grins like the cat that ate the canary when she hands the first two shots to me. "Down the hatch."

  She throws her head back and pours the first shot into her mouth. Her throat muscles work to force the burning liquid down. Stopping only to give me a challenging glance, she holds shot number two up to her lips. I match her gestures and swallow my first shot. My eyes water and my face scrunches up in discomfort on its own, but I refuse to allow a coughing fit in front of her smirking gaze.

  "You still holding the same drink?" She immediately accepts my indirect dare.

  "Bottoms up, princess." She downs the second one, but this time, I'm right with her. "You're doing better than I thought. Ready for more?" She throws back one after the other, forcing me to keep up with her pace. "Again," she announces.

  She doesn't wait for my reply before she prances back to the bar and brings back four more for us to split. The fuzziness from the sudden injection of alcohol on an empty stomach takes over my brain. But I'll never hear the end of it if I puss out now.

  "Beauty before age," I quip and take my shots from her hand.