The Crafty Teddy

by John J. Lamb

  Twenty-two

  Gage swallowed nervously and turned his head away from me. I knew I’d scared him, because he didn’t say anything else during the rest of our journey to Remmelkemp Mill and the county detention facility. There was no way of being absolutely certain he wouldn’t warn his partner, but I didn’t think it likely now that he realized he’d be cutting his own throat.

  We arrived at the sheriff’s department and parked outside the prisoner’s entrance to the jail. As Tina assisted Gage from the police cruiser, I said, “Don’t forget to grab his felony flyers as evidence.”

  “His what?”

  “Tennis shoes. We’ll have the crime lab check them for fragments of broken glass and ceramics.”

  “I’ll take care of it. See you in a minute.”

  As Tina took Gage into the jail, Ash and I remained outside. The summer solstice was just a few weeks away, so although it was nearly seven P.M., the sun was still fairly high in the western sky. It was the first time we’d been alone together since I’d returned from Charlottesville and there was a moment of strained silence.

  Ash came over and put her palms on my chest. “Honey, I know you’re upset, but I didn’t know how to tell you.”

  “Not upset, so much as…I don’t know. It just kind of blindsided me.” I looked at the mountains. “Are you going to give up making your teddy bears?”

  “No, of course not. I’m not looking for a career and this isn’t because I’m dissatisfied with my life.” Ash grabbed my chin and pushed it so that my eyes met hers. “And you’re partly to blame, because you’ve infected me with your love of police work. So, I’d really like to become an auxiliary deputy sheriff. That way I can spend most of my time with you and the bears, yet still work a few patrol shifts every month.”

  “Like I said before, if you want it, then you have my complete support. But it’s only fair to tell you that I have an ulterior motive for agreeing so readily.”

  “What’s that?” She gave me a mischievous smile as she read my thoughts.

  “I’ve always had this thing for a woman in a police uniform.” I leaned over to give her a long slow kiss.

  We were still at it when Tina emerged from the jail a few seconds later. She sighed and said, “Jeez, you guys! Why don’t you get a motel room?”

  “Okay,” I said breathlessly.

  “After we finish with the search warrant.” She held up a grocery bag. “And I wonder if this guy ever heard about Odor-Eaters? His shoes smell worse than the morgue.”

  As we walked up the sidewalk to the main entrance of the sheriff’s department, I asked, “What’s Gage’s bail?”

  “I didn’t think I had enough probable cause to charge him with the homicide—”

  “You don’t.”

  “So, it’s twenty-five-thousand dollars.”

  As we filed into Tina’s office, I made a sour face. “That’s not enough. I know we’re already jammed with paperwork, but we need to get a bail enhancement on that little creep. Between all the bears and quilts he’s sold, there’s no telling how much money he’s squirreled away. Once he posts bond, he’ll vanish.”

  “How do we get a bail enhancement?” Tina sat down behind her desk and began rubbing her forehead as if it ached.

  “It’s a simple judicial request form and as long as we’re going to Judge Skidmore’s house to have him sign the search warrant affidavit, he can approve the bail increase too. Let’s ask for a million.”

  “Whatever you think is best,” she said with a frown.

  Ash said, “Tina, are you all right?”

  “Yeah. Sorry, it’s just been a long day. I missed lunch and I get a nasty headache if I don’t eat.”

  “Well, how about while you guys do the paperwork, I’ll go across the street and get some barbecue from Sergei?”

  “God, that would be wonderful.”

  Ash went to get our supper and I logged the cigarette package into evidence and then started typing up the request for a bail increase. Meanwhile, Tina completed Gage’s booking sheet and went to drop it off at the jail. She was still gone by the time Ash returned with a brown bag filled with food.

  Looking up from the computer screen, I said, “That smells great.”

  “I got pulled pork sandwiches and fries for everyone.” Ash put the bag on the desk and began unloading it. “Since we’re doing paperwork, I figured that would be neater than ribs or chicken.”

  “Good thinking. How was Sergei?”

  “Curious because he hasn’t seen us. He might stop by here later this evening when we get back from serving the search warrant,” she added in an innocent tone.

  “And was that his idea or yours?”

  “Mine.” She grinned as she handed me a sandwich.

  I began humming the tune to “Matchmaker” from Fiddler on the Roof but had to stop as Tina came back into the office. She said, “Oh thank God, food. Hey, I checked the phone numbers that Gage called from the jail and it looks like he took your advice. He called some defense attorney’s office in Harrisonburg and then his mommy.”

  “And probably asked her to post his bond, which means the clock is ticking on this bail enhancement. Tina, once you’ve got some food in you, you might want to call Judge Skidmore and give him a heads-up on why we want to boost Gage’s bail into the stratosphere.” I took a big bite from the sandwich, wiped my hands on a paper napkin, and resumed typing.

  Tina wolfed down her supper and called the judge while I completed the document. Hanging up the phone, she said, “He’s on board to increase the bail to a million.”

  “Excellent.” I clicked on the PRINT icon and the printer started to whine. “Why don’t you guys run that over to Hizzonor’s house right now and get it signed? We’ve got to get it filed at the jail before Gage posts bond.”

  “On our way,” said Tina, snatching the sheets from the printer.

  “And I’ll finish eating and then get started on the search warrant affidavit.”

  Ash paused to kiss me on the forehead as both women left the office. By the time they came back, about ninety minutes later, I was hammering away at the affidavit and had it two-thirds finished.

  Tina said, “That was one unhappy lady.”

  “Gage’s mom, I assume?”

  “Yeah, she got to the jail with the bondsman about five minutes after I delivered the form.” Tina slumped into a chair. “Apparently I’m railroading her darling boy.”

  “Yeah, you cops are all alike.”

  Ash said, “Did you think we got lost?”

  I glanced up from the screen. “No, I just figured you two Amazons had your bloodlust up and decided to go pick a fight at a biker bar.”

  Ash chuckled. “And after that, we went to Tina’s to check on her kids and then to our house. I fed Kitch and let him go to the bathroom.”

  “That was my second guess.”

  Ash made a pot of strong coffee and I tossed back two cups of it as I rushed to finish the affidavit. The sun had set and the western sky was pearly gray by the time we left the sheriff’s station for yet another trip to Judge Skidmore’s house. Once he’d read and issued the search warrant, we headed back to Port Republic. It was fully dark by the time we got to Gage’s house. Tina dismissed the deputy who’d been guarding the place, and we went inside.

  The county may have reduced Gage’s salary, but you sure couldn’t tell that from what we found in his living room. There was a big high-definition plasma TV, a DVD player with about fifty or sixty movie discs, a Nintendo unit and more game cartridges than an adult male should admit to owning, and a Sony music system. Not surprisingly, while the electronics were all new and expensive, Gage’s furniture was typical single guy décor: a mismatched and soiled collection of thrift store rejects. There was a full ashtray, an oil-stained fried chicken box from a local market, and a carton of greasy wedge fries on the battered coffee table. I could feel my arteries hardening just looking at Gage’s lifestyle.

  The living room opened on to th
e dining room and beyond it was the kitchen. Two of the phony antique teddy bears were lying on the dining table next to a computer. There was also a cardboard document storage box on the floor beneath the table, which looked to be crammed full of mail and bills. Next to the box was a paper shredder and the machine’s clear plastic storage box was three-quarters full of confetti. It was obvious that Gage had been destroying what he considered incriminating paperwork.

  I said, “The more I think about it, the more I wonder if there isn’t something significant about the fact you found those bears here.”

  “How do you mean?” asked Tina

  “Gage lawyered up immediately, which tells us he isn’t stupid. Yet, he’s got evidence in his house that conclusively links him to the counterfeiting operation. That doesn’t make any sense, unless—”

  “He was going to deliver them to his partner soon,” Ash cut in excitedly.

  “That’s what I think too.”

  “Maybe the bearded guy was going to come here,” said Tina.

  “I wish, but we aren’t going to be that lucky. By now, Whiskers is going to know Merrit is dead and that we’ve talked to Gage. He won’t come anywhere near this house.”

  Tina nodded. “So, they were going to rendezvous someplace. Shefford Gap?”

  “Unless we find something in here that says otherwise, that would be my guess.”

  “Then I guess we’d better get to work.”

  We divided the search into sectors. Tina went to toss the bedrooms and bathroom while Ash took a flashlight outside to search the Forester and the shed. Meanwhile, I’d examine the living room, the kitchen, and the documents in the dining room. After that, we would seize the bears, Gage’s computer, and anything else we deemed might have some evidentiary value.

  I started with the kitchen and the portable telephone. The base station had a built-in digital answering function, but there weren’t any saved messages. I then checked the phone handset for the electronic log of incoming and outgoing calls. Not surprisingly, they’d all been deleted. It was our word against Gage’s as to whether Merrit had left a message on Saturday morning.

  There wasn’t anything else in the kitchen that seemed to be connected with the crimes, but I did find a black plastic trash bag on the stoop outside the backdoor. I tugged at the knotted drawstring and opened the bag. It was full of paper confetti. Gage had been shredding documents like it was the final days of Enron. I grabbed the bag as evidence. True, we’d never be able to identify precisely what papers had been destroyed, but the bag did show Gage was frantically trying to cover his tracks.

  I went back into the house and sat down at the dining room table. There was a good chance Gage had installed encryption and security software in his computer, so I turned it off and unhooked the PC from the monitor and keyboard. The machine would be sent to the state crime lab, where the cyber experts could examine it. Then, as I began to look through the stacks of paperwork, I realized we’d caught a rare lucky break. Gage had begun his evidence destruction project by shredding the oldest documents first.

  I was shoving some more mail into the document box when Ash came through the front door, holding a small sheet of paper. I said, “Success?”

  “Ack! That truck reeks of cigarettes! And everything is sticky with tar.”

  “It’s a glamorous habit.”

  “Anyway, there was nothing in the shed but a bunch of junk, but I found this tucked behind the clip on the driver’s side sun visor.” She handed me the sheet. “It’s a receipt from the Shefford Gap post office.”

  I squinted at the faint gray printing. “And he used a MasterCard to ship something to Fridley, Minnesota, by priority mail last Tuesday.”

  “Twenty-three dollars. Probably he was mailing either bears or a quilt.”

  “It also may mean that Gage and his partner meet in Shefford Gap.”

  “Why?”

  I nodded at the roomful of expensive electronics. “These guys were doing a huge business, which means Gage has to meet his partner regularly to deliver the merchandise. Yet the bearded guy has only been seen once or twice around town.”

  Ash nodded. “So they rendezvous at the post office, which is away from town and also where the checks are delivered.”

  “That’s how it looks to me. Excellent work, honey.”

  Ash dimpled. “I had a great teacher.”

  Tina emerged from the hallway carrying a couple of grocery bags. “I hope you guys came up with something, because other than a couple more pairs of shoes, all I found was dirty clothes, a dirty bathroom, and even dirtier magazines. Did this guy ever stop smoking?”

  “Ash found a receipt from the Shefford Gap post office and I’ve only just begun to look at this, but it’s pretty incriminating.” I tapped the side of the document box. “Gage is supposed to be marginally employed, but there are statements from four different Valley area banks that show he’s got over twelve thousand bucks.”

  “Why did he split the money up like that?” asked Ash.

  “He had to. Everybody around here knows how badly the museum is doing and that the county had slashed Gage’s pay. Twelve grand in a local bank would make folks suspicious and somebody would be bound to talk.”

  “And it’s all profit from the counterfeiting operation.” Tina’s jaw tightened with frustration. “I wish there was some way we could seize the accounts.”

  “There may be and we can talk to the commonwealth’s attorney about that tomorrow. And if you really want to ruin Gage’s day, there’s something else you might consider.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Drop a dime to the Internal Revenue Service on him. You can bet he hasn’t been paying any taxes on this income and, whatever else happens, you know the auditors will get their pound of flesh from him, with interest.”

  Tina brightened. “Ooh, that’s nasty. I’ll call them tomorrow.”

  As Ash and Tina ferried the evidence out to the patrol car, I filled out the receipt and inventory of everything we’d removed from the home. I left a copy of that form along with one of the search warrant on the dining table. It was pushing 11:00 P.M. by the time we left Port Republic and we were all tired. There was little conversation as we drove to the sheriff’s station.

  We were in Tina’s office and in the process of logging the new stuff into evidence when Sergei came in. Either he was wearing a new baked goods–scented aftershave lotion, or there was dessert in the stack of four white plastic foam food containers he carried.

  “Oh my, that smells good. Apple cobbler?” Ash asked.

  “Your dear mother’s recipe as a matter of fact. She was kind enough to share it with me.” Sergei handed her a box and a plastic fork. “You’ve been working very hard and I thought you might enjoy a snack.”

  “You didn’t have to do that,” said Tina.

  Sergei gave her a dessert and a diffident smile. “But I wanted to, Sheriff.”

  “Well, thank you, and I’d like it better if you just called me Tina.”

  “I’d like that too.”

  Ash flashed me a surreptitious grin. As we ate the delicious cobbler, we took turns briefing Sergei on the investigation. Mostly, he stayed quiet, but when I mentioned following Sheldon Shaw up into the mountains without backup, he called me a “damned fool,” which elicited nods of agreement from the women.

  When we finished dessert, Tina rubbed her eyes and said, “That was wonderful, but all that sugar is putting me to sleep.”

  “Me too,” said Ash with a yawn.

  Tina lazily waved a hand at her. “Stop that or you’ll make me start doing it.”

  “Sorry.”

  “So, tomorrow.” Tina paused to yawn. “See? Anyway, do we have a consensus on Gage? Is he the killer?”

  I said, “He’s a USDA Prime scumbag, but I no longer think it’s likely he murdered Merrit.”

  “Why not?”

  “For starters, when Gage was arrested, his main worry was about what Holly could say about him; not th
e murder.”

  “Which means he’s more worried about the fraud charges than the homicide,” said Tina.

  “And maybe one of the reasons he wouldn’t say anything or give us the killer’s name was because he was frightened of the guy,” Ash added.

  “Which segues into the other reason I don’t think Gage is our murderer. I think it’s a safe assumption that whoever capped the round off at me during the burglary also killed Merrit. Yet we didn’t find a firearm or ammunition in Gage’s house.”

  “Perhaps he disposed of it,” Sergei suggested.

  “Professional assassins do that, but not your typical crook. I’ve never understood why, but they almost always hang on to a gun.”

  Ash said, “And there’s one other thing that tends to rule Gage out—at least from burglarizing our house. The left brake light on his Trooper isn’t broken and the lamp cover doesn’t look new.”

  “Then we’re looking at the bearded guy as the killer,” said Tina. “I guess tomorrow we have to do a stakeout in Shefford Gap.”

  “Agreed. I think we’re only going to get one shot at this, because once the bearded guy finds out Gage is in custody, he’ll pull a warp-speed U-FAP.”

  “Huh?” said Sergei.

  “Unlawful Flight to Avoid Prosecution,” I explained.

  Ash wore a puzzled expression. “Tina, maybe I’m a little confused, but it sounds like you want us to do the stakeout. Wouldn’t you want some of your regular deputies?”

  “I’ve got some good people, but none of my deputies has even one-twentieth of Brad’s experience with surveillances.” Tina moved some crumbs around with the plastic fork and then tossed the utensil into the plastic foam container. “Look, this could be dangerous and I have no right to ask, but will you guys please help me with the stakeout?”

  “Of course,” said Ash.

  “And I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I added. “Especially since it will give me the chance to introduce myself to the guy who broke into our home, tore up our teddy bears, and took a shot at me.”

  Sergei cleared his throat. “Tina, I’d like to offer you my services also. The restaurant is closed tomorrow, and although I’ve never been a policeman, I do possess some talents that might be useful for this operation.”