I didn’t find Ginger and the others in the end so I went home to eat. 'The Him' had prepared me a dish of turkey which Wiseguy said he gets at something called 'Thanksgiving', it was very nice. Maybe I'm just a little sorry about his finger now, but it's not my fault that Longlegs have blood so near the surface.
After eating I decided to rest. The small brother one of 'The Him' arrived with a roar and made me glad I was inside. Now it was a race for the sitting place. Sometimes I let him sit near me, even on the edge of my seat but today when he tried I thought he wanted too much room and just put my claws out as he edged downwards towards me. He soon moved, rubbing his bottom and looking askance at me. His own fault for trying to sit where I am but I suppose it's partly mine for letting him do so sometimes. He was grouchy after that, telling 'The Him' I should be put down. He didn't say where though but I hope it's somewhere nice as there has been skywater again.
The end of the light and time to rest now. I shall go sit on the chest of 'The Him' and stare at him for a while before settling down on his tummy, It may be that I've decided to be nicer to him, but I want him to know that I am his priority , after all, it's what he's here for.
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Cat in the Dog House
If I'm going to spend this much time in the dog-house they'd better buy me a kennel. Look , it was a complete accident. You don't think I'd hurt myself on purpose do you?
'The Her' was resting on her sleeping place and 'The Him' has been fussing and not letting me near her. I was getting cross and very bored. The best way to relieve the former was to swipe my claws across his ankle...and run. The best way to relieve the latter was to take a walk to the village to see the gang.
I had only found young Thomas and had decided to go see what was on offer at the 'Fursty Ferret; in case they had decided to leave me a full salmon out again as an offering. They hadn't worse luck, but they had left open a clearway in the floor that looked very inviting even if it didn't smell that way. I had just led Thomas down the ramp to the dark when I heard the clip-clop of hooves. I thought it might be Tango, my 'The Hers' horse and walked to the ramp ready to climb again when all of a sudden a huge heavy barrel cam ...well, barreling down and almost squashed me. I jumped back and then remembering who was behind me said “ And that's the move to make when they throw these down here” and down came another one. Just then a Longlegs opened the inner clearway and Thomas and I darted through until we reached a set of stairs that obviously led to the inside of the Fursty Ferret. We climbed, and looking as nonchalant as possible left by the open clearway to the light.
I said farewell to Thomas and sent him home. Before I did the same though I heard a noise and decided to investigate. Turning round by the old buildings at the back of the pub is the place the Longlegs keep chariots. One of them was there making strange noises at a pile of overturned boxes that I know make the chariots go. They had liquid like water coming from them and I stepped through it for a closer look. I must have stepped on a piece of glass for I felt it slice through my pad but then I noticed that all my pads felt on fire. It was hot and I couldn't help but groan. You should know Longlegs that we Superiors are brave but you would have groaned to if your pads felt like mine.
I ran home and I climbed in the clearway leaving a big red streak behind me, then one on 'The Her’s' lying place and hen lots on the carpet when I went through for food. My feet really hurt but food is important. I heard a squeal behind me and then watched as my 'The Her' followed my bloody progress by red marks. 'The Him' came running when he heard her, I know he is concerned about her being ill but I'm hurt. She showed him the marks which he followed till he reached me.
Tutting, she passed him a bag. It's a bag I hate, a bag they take me away in. Before I could bolt he gripped me and dropped me in the bag. I protested vociferously. I protested all the way to the vet and all the time I was in the vet's. One grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and held my two front legs while another washed my feet which still stung.~” Burned “ she said “ Very messy”. Whatever she put on stung worse. I moaned. “ Quiet” she said, “don't be such a baby.” She must have meant 'the Him' because I moaned only because I was hurt. Washing over she stuck needle in me and gave 'The Him' some tablets...perhaps he has worms.?? They must hurt because I saw tears in his eyes as he took out something from his back pocket and handed her a fistful of paper money from it and let out a big groan too.
I was put back in my bag and started moaning to let him know he was hurting me, I was carried home. I sat on his chair to clean my wounds and looked at him just hard enough to let him know what would happen if he tried to move me. I was within reach of my 'the Her' so she was able to stroke me from where she was resting. He went and sat in my chair with a great sigh. I think I'm in the dog house again.
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Oscar and the Wet Water
Sometimes the Longlegs are fools. I'm afraid I have to admit that on occasions I think I made the wrong choice all those years ago.
My pads are sore. 'The Him' knows this but still put me in the dreaded bag today and took me to see the white-coated one. I was lifted out by the scruff of my neck ! Most undignified. It was lucky that there were no other Superiors present. There were dogs but they don't count. Anyway, they lay on the floor looking sorry for themselves. Mind you, maybe they had need to if she did to them what she did to me. She washed my pads in a funny brown water and it tasted awful when I licked it and it stung. Not fair.
After that I was bundled back in the bag and taken home. When we arrived I came out and ran to his resting place and wiped as much brown water off on his white covers as I could. That wasn't too much as it had dried by then. Usually he leaves me alone after we come back in case I take the opportunity to test my claws on him. But this light it was strange to see him follow me to his room and offer me a piece of chicken. I know they say you should never bite the hand that feeds you but I couldn't resist. He howled. But then he cheated and threw something over me that made it hard to move as he wrapped it round me. I was picked up , bundled under his arm and carried away.
What came next no Superior should ever have to suffer. I was taken to the small room with the hard floor and released inside a glass box with no clearway open. The thing that covered me was taken away. I looked for a way out but with my sore pads I didn't think I could jump out. I saw 'The Him' roll up the skin he wears on his top, reach over me and turn a handle. He then pulled his arms out of the way....of the stream of WET WATER that rained down in me. There was nowhere to hide.
'The Him' dropped something on my back and then leaned over the glass box and started rubbing my back. My back turned white all of a sudden and I wriggled to get away but he is strong and held me down with one hand on my back while the other one rubbed and more and more white appeared which then covered my head and face. I tasted it and it was warm and awful.
He stopped rubbing and brought the rain closer till all the white was washed away. And still the water came. My hair stuck to my skin and I must have looked a sight. Suddenly the rain stopped !
'The Him' leaned in again and covered me with the same cloth thing as before. He held me hard, lifted me out and started rubbing me hard. I was angry.
I wriggled a lot and I may have hissed a bit. If only I had one leg free he'd know about it. Then he stopped the rubbing and put me down on the floor. As he did so the cloth came free and I sat down to wash my feet. He must have thought himself safe and me forgetful or something for he leaned down and stroked my head. Like a flash I had his finger with my teeth and I saw the red appear.
So did he and whatever had been on his hand that caused the white made his hand sting when I bit him. He howled again and left the room in a hurry.
I felt worse than when it rains on me outside and I must have looked a bit bedraggled. 'The Her' was on her resting place so I went and snuggled up to get warm again. She would not let me sit on her tummy as usual though. I know there is something wrong with her. She did let
me stay beside her till I was dry though and kept telling me I smelled nice.
As for 'The Him' well I've already said. Sometimes the Longlegs are fools. If he thinks after all these years he can treat me like that and I won't retaliate..well......................
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Oscar's Upside Down Day
Heavens above. What's going on? Changes and more changes. I'd better start at the beginning.
Some of you Longlegs and Superiors alike will remember that a new chair was delivered recently and I laid claim to it. 'The Him ' has not been able to sit on it except when I'm not there, and when I do allow it he does nothing but moan about my hairs sticking to him. He should be grateful for the warmth I offer.
This light I had settled down in my new chair to relax in sleep after a hard night when all of a sudden there was a clunk sound. I looked up and there was a Longlegs at the hard clearway they call a window and HE WAS REMOVING IT ! Suddenly there was no window,
I hadn't noticed anyone enter the room but suddenly my chair was moving, being pushed back against the wall. It was the brotherfriend of 'The Him' and there was 'The Him' pushing the table back against the far wall so the middle of the room was clear.
Then the two of them took the chair next to me and flung it through the gap where the window had been. After this they took the long seat they call the settee and pushed it carefully through the same gap. Am I next? I naturally shot off my chair and sped from the room. When I didn't hear another loud sound I crept back and looked carefully in. My chair was still there and the Longlegs were all concentrating on moving things away from the window area.
Soon I heard one of their big chariots arrive with a grumble. Everyone moved outside through the main clearway except small brother who climbed through the now vanished window howling when he found his legs too short to reach the ground outside and he was forced to sit on something quite sharp to slide over. They loaded the abandoned furniture and the grumble started again as the chariot backed away.
I had just started to think all was well when again a chariot approached. It was a different one this time. I tell you that so you know how observant we Superiors are even under threat. Out got a giant Longlegs and my Longlegs joined him. The back of the chariot opened and they carried out a chair. A new chair ! 'The Him' and the small brother brought it to the space where the window had been and put it down. Small brotherfriend ran round to the large clearway and came through to the room rushing past me. Between them they lifted the chair through the gap into the room in the place where the old chair had sat. I saw the giant bring out a settee from the chariot and without help brought it to the window space and pass it through. They moved it to the place the old one had sat.
The first Longlegs who had taken away the window now took a strong grip on it, lifted and replaced it where it had been. He waved goodbye.
Brotherfriend and 'The Him' brought the table back to the centre and rearranged things and the room was back to normal. 'The Her' was brought in to rest on the new settee and I jumped up beside her for a hug. All the time I looked round to see if the new chair was the one I would claim now or whether I would let 'The Him' have that one. Things settled down at last and I was able to eat and then relax in my original chair as though nothing had happened but for a moment I thought my world was turning upside down.
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Oscar's Day of Chaos
Its been chaos, absolute chaos. For the second light-time this week things were moving. There I was, peacefully sleeping in my chair when the clattering began. My 'The Him' and The 'Her' were pulling things off shelves and out of cupboards and taking them away. Out and away, out and away.
When everything had been taken they cam in with small brother and started pushing the tables, chairs, drawers and settee all in the direction of my chair. How was I going to rest with all this noise going on? I decided to go and rest on my ‘The 'Her’s’ bed. Big mistake !
The bed was covered in all the things taken off the shelves. As I was just finding a little space to lay down in they all trooped again with more...all the drawers from the cabinets and I narrowly avoided being crushed by one. Someone will pay for that later. I climbed down, careful not to jump and hurt my feet, and went in search of a space on ‘The Him's’ bed. Ridiculous, that was also covered in things from that room. In disgust I went and lay on the bathroom floor.
I was there no time at all before a strange Longlegs came in laden down with long boxes which he lay on the floor close to me. They looked heavy so I moved again as that way I couldn't get squashed. Someone opened the door to the airing cupboard so I jumped in. Warm and cosy I lay down again to sleep. No sooner had I closed my eyes than the banging began. Bang, Bang, Bang.
Why on earth am I being tormented like this? And then I realised I couldn't get out to get away from the noise. I shouted and called for ages before my ‘The Him' finally let me out.
“What the....Ouch' he said as I jumped down and swiped his hand in passing as payment for almost crushing me on the bed. It might not have been him of course but someone has to pay. It was also for locking me in the airing cupboard.
I moved away from the door and as I did, there was the strange Longlegs on the floor of the lounge laying big pieces of wood as a new floor. I sat in the clearway and watched. It went together quite well and he's almost reached half way where all the other furniture now stood. From where I sat I saw ‘The Him' and small brotherfriend move the furniture over to the side that was now wood and the strange Longlegs carried on.
This went on all day with furniture backwards and forwards and side to side. No way could I achieve comfort in my chair without being treated as though I was on one of those Longlegs fairground rides. At last my ‘The Her' walked with him to the clearway my ‘The Him' and small brotherfriend started putting furniture back into place. Soon there was a complete room as it was before but with a new floor. I went to my chair and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon sun as everything was brought back into the cabinets, drawers etc. Every time something hard went down on the new floor it made a noise. Every time someone dropped something on the wood I jerked awake at the noise. I was getting so annoyed that when small brother put his hand near to stroke me I bit down on it...and ran. But as I ran on this new floor I couldn't grip and as I tried to corner I skidded and sailed straight on into the wall, Small brotherfriend laughed and pointed and said something like “ serves you right !
Well it's done now and all is peaceful again and I'm on my chair where I belong. I d hope this is over now and no more changes to come so my ‘The Her' can rest and get better. At least she has something new to rest on in the peace and quiet like me..
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Peace Reigns for Oscar
Peace reigns. I have my chair and I can rest there with no disturbance. I know the strange Longlegs is to return as I see his things in the hallway, but it will not affect this room where my chair sits waiting for me. Also my pads are better and no-one is shouting because I leave bloody paw marks on everything. I can lick them to my hearts content and no-one tries to distract me. This is very nearly perfect. But not quite......
During the time that my pads have been sore and all the work has been going on, things have changed. I have spent so much time in my chair resting that I have unwittingly allowed these changes. 'The Her' has become sick and sometimes the door has been closed against me. ‘The Him' has been able to sleep in and has got used to not having me wake him when I want something. All that changed this light.
I had been lying in my chair as usual when I suddenly realised I was hungry. Jumping down from the chair I realised my pads were fine. I strolled to my food dish and found it empty. Now recently I would have taken to my bed again rather than jumped about with sore pads. Not this light though.
I wandered through to my ‘The 'Him's room and called to him. He didn't hear me or at least pretended not to. I gave him one more chance with a louder shout, the 'I'm about to be sick' shout. Am
azingly that didn't move him either. You must understand I was left with no choice now. I jumped up on the bed, found a gap in the covers and entered. As usual his toes were twitching, at least until I sunk my teeth into one and then it was jerked away rapidly. I emerged from the covers in time to see the look of surprise on ‘The Him's’ face. I spoke to him again before jumping off the bed in the safe knowledge that he would follow. For the sake of his other toes, he did. I led him in the direction of my food dish and he got the hint straight away. That's what good training does for you.
Having eaten I noted he had returned to his bed. I didn't want that just yet and so I followed him in. I spoke again, and his fluttering eyelids opened wide. I didn't even have to jump on the bed again. “What is it now Oscar?” he said getting out and following as I led him to the lounge. I stood by the settee and waited. Sure enough my training skills had remained. He sat down and moments later I was on his knee getting hugged and stroked as I should. The only problem was it looked as though he was falling asleep again. A few head nudges and he was back. After a while I'd had enough and settled at his side to rest. He left.
Alone again I decided to wander through to ‘The Her'. I know she's not well but that's no excuse for ignoring me. There was no point in shouting as she never hears me and wakes but I decided to settle in the gap left where she lay on her side with her knees drawn up. Resting against her stomach I went to sleep. It was there that I woke later with a purr of satisfaction when I realised just how back to normal life is.
Memoirs of a Superior Page 9