Memoirs of a Superior
Page 21
She sat down to take her paw covers off and as he walked in laden down ,she said " Feed Oscar please dear, I must get changed for bed."
H e put me a lovely bowl of chicken out and as I was eating I heard him call "Julia Dear, you didn't leave the sweets near the girls did you, they seem to have got the bag into the cage and eaten the lot."
"WHAT"? she replied "Of course not, in fact I know they were on the table this morning when we left as I thought about giving them one but didn't want to wake them."
He walked past me with a look of puzzlement.
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The Holiday Lie
I hate to say this, but I want to be 100% clear on it. Longlegs tell lies. For a long time I always gave them the benefit of the doubt. Times like when I was taken to see the hefty Longlegs in the white coat, only to be told by 'The Her' "This won't hurt Oscar, there's a good boy" just before the fiend in white stuck a very long needle in my rump and it DID hurt like mad, or at least stung badly. Or perhaps the times like 'The Him' tried to blow a worming tablet down my throat just before I sneezed. He said it would do me good but my sneeze sent it back up the pipe and he swallowed it. Well it didn't do me any good at all then did it?
The worst of all is the holiday. That's the word they use when I'm not going to see them for a few light times and dark times and they put me in prison. I mean, I may have been a little mean sometimes, but only when I want to be. Maybe I shouldn't wake 'The Him' up from sleep the way I do sometimes but I need a laugh don't I? And maybe I was a little wrong to grip his chest when he was carrying me and then continue gripping it as I slid down when he let go. Perhaps I am a little mean to use their foot furs as a teaching aid, but if I didn't pee in them how would they learn not to upset me? Anyway, the holiday. It's cruel to put me in prison where I can't keep an eye on my domain.
Excuse me a moment.
Ah, that memory made me feel so bad I thought I'd better remind 'The Him' to be nice to me, and his foot furs were so handy. Again, back to the holiday. Their kitten has married and gone away so their two Superiors Millie and Maddie have gone on holiday too. Only they haven't if you see what I mean since they've been sent to prison and my Longlegs did the dirty deed. Two nicer Superiors you couldn't find, well naturally, since we're related, and they don't deserve this. I'm at a loss. Should I carry food to them, should I break them out or should I just embark on a new training programme for my Longlegs to show them how displeased I am?
After all, what's the point of all the lies since we always get to the truth in the end. And we Superiors don't lie. We didn't really understand the concept until we befriended Longlegs. If we say we Love You, then we Love You though sometimes we can be a little crosspatch about it. If we say you'll pay for something you've done, it' no lie, we'll get round to it sometime, even if we give the impression we've forgotten. Actually we never forget. It's not elephant's memories you need worry about.
So for any Longlegs out there looking in. STOP LYING TO US ! And for all my faithful Superior friends, make sure you punish your Longlegs for any lies they tell, especially to you and for Bastet's sake don't listen if the Longlegs in the white fur tells you it won't hurt.
The End. 01.10.2012.
To all our friends and followers of Oscar's Blog, I have to tell you that Oscar passed away this morning at 18 years old. He's gone on to new adventures elsewhere.
We thank you for all the remarks we've had over the course of his blog.
The girls all gave him a goodbye salute.
The illness Lady Julia ( The Her) suffered was pancreatic cancer and she passed away on 30 Mar 2013. She adored Oscar and the tales about him. She loved his starring role in the Barsetshire Diaries series. This book is by way of honouring a promise made to keep writing stories she’d enjoy. Hopefully others will too.
David 15.Aug 2013
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