by C. M. King
"What all did they say, Shawn and the doctor?” Rieko asked to change the subject.
"Well,” he said, “lately it's been easy to talk to you."
"That's good, right?” she asked. Stuart gave her a big smile in reply. “So Shawn said...,” Rieko continued.
"It was a bit personal.” He shook his head. “The short version is we're to have no more lunchtime...,” he paused for the word, “nookie—is that the word one could use?” His face showed his dislike for the term.
"You don't like the term?” She tightened her lips into a smile. Stuart's sour looked deepened.
"The shagging?” he asked to see if they were back on topic. It was nice that they knew enough about each other to use such small phrases and more their faces and voices to communicate. “Poloski figured it out about our lunch activities, and told the captain over breakfast today."
The thought of Poloski rather bluntly telling Shawn that she believed his armory officer and one of the junior astronomy officers were having sex amused her. “I could just imagine,” she said. Poor Shawn.
"Somehow she knows about that storage closet shag in engineering,” he continued. She remembered that, the short food break the week they were in engineering helping out, where all he wanted was her. The thought that there were others outside that might hear, or worst yet, might walk into the unlockable room, had only heightened the encounter.
"How?” Rieko couldn't remember seeing Poloski around before or after.
"Not sure we want to know.” Stuart frowned. “Taylor knows now."
Of course Taylor would have been at breakfast with Poloski and the captain as he usually was. “Oh, my gosh.” Rieko's face filled with terror.
Sure Taylor knew about them, but still she wasn't sure if she wanted him to know that much, or Shawn either for that matter. How was she supposed to look either of them in the eyes again now that they knew locations as well as actions in a much more exact manner than made her comfortable?
"Taylor got a big kick out of it.” Stuart gave a short smile. “Although presumably he'd prefer I keep to marking my own territory."
Rieko shook her head at such a male way of thinking. Since when was the ship to be divvied up with sexual actions? Weren't they more civilized than that?
Worry crossed Stuart's features at his misspoken words. “Maybe that came out wrong."
"Yes."
Then, he stared deeply into her eyes, and she forgot momentarily his improper wording. “Rieko, don't ever change for me.” His voice cracked. He leaned in toward her and placed a large hand gently on her cheek. “I like you the way you are."
She smiled at him. “Don't worry, I won't."
He pulled her into a soft embrace. “Good,” he whispered.
* * * *
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Thirteen
* * * *
Stuart and Taylor sat in Taylor's quarters, a table between them set with two beers and pretzels. They watched a vid screen with the gentle roar of a football game coming from it. Well, American football as Stuart had very clearly pointed out. Taylor was attempting to teach Stuart the finer points of his favorite sport, best in the universe as far as Taylor was concerned.
Taylor took another sip of his beer and sighed. Stuart wasn't entirely sure if the contentment came from the game, the beer, or the company.
"It's all a bit like rugby.” Stuart set his glass gently on the table. “With more pads. Why exactly do you call it football?"
"'Cause you kick the ball every once and a while.” Taylor frowned over at him. Being called on something he didn't know the answer to showed. Then again, most of Taylor's opinions showed easily, so unlike Stuart himself.
Stuart shot a sideways glance at Taylor. “We should be glad you yanks haven't graced our language with many more horrible misnomers.” He hoped the comment would lighten the mood.
"Bit harsh.” Taylor gave a smile despite his scolding tone. The other man had come to expect Stuart to get a couple good witty jabs in.
"Okay,” Taylor said, “here's one of those situations you'd go for a fourth down conversion. It's less than a yard to go. Jacksonville's got a great offensive line. Quarterback sneak it underneath. Ya got a first down.” His voice held the same tone he'd use to explain something in engineering.
Stuart looked blankly at the screen. Much as he wanted to enjoy some male bonding, he couldn't get his mind into it.
"What's on your mind, Stuart?” Taylor leaned across the table. “'Cause it sure as hell ain't football?"
Stuart looked at Taylor. “It's an interesting sport.” He doubted his statement would allow Taylor to believe him.
"It's Rieko, huh?” Taylor nodded. “That's the problem with women, right? When you don't got ‘em, you're as lonely as can be. When you do, you're never quite sure what to do with them.” Taylor sighed. “You want to talk, Stuart?"
Stuart blinked and looked away. What other man would he feel comfortable talking to on the ship? Stuart drew his attention from the game and gave Taylor what he knew was an apprehensive look.
"Let's talk.” Taylor flicked off the vid screen, and suddenly the room fell silent. “About Rieko and you,” Taylor continued.
"You're going to give me advice on relationships?” Stuart couldn't keep the sarcasm from his voice.
"Okay, so I suck at ‘em.” Taylor frowned. “I'm thinkin’ I might actually have more long term relationships under my belt."
Stuart knew that was hardly a hard fact to beat. Rieko was really his first long term relationship, his first relationship that had meant so much. That was the problem. He cared too much about her to mess things up.
"You counting Judy as one of those?” Stuart knew he was being defensive mentioning one of their shared female encounters.
"I'm tryin’ to be a friend here, Stuart.” Taylor's annoyance showed and a frown covered his usually jovial features. “'Cause you look like ya need one."
Stuart stared back, his face blank.
"You aren't fighting with her, are you?” Taylor asked. His eyes narrowed.
Stuart shook his head. “No.” He dropped his gaze to his glass of beer. “Do you think my intentions with her are good?” His eyes shyly met Taylor's.
"Of course.” It took Taylor no time to reply.
"You don't think I might hurt her?” Stuart kept his voice solid. Taylor more than anyone else had spent time with the two of them in public. Stuart knew how much different people could act in public and private, but he hoped he treated Rieko the same in either.
"How could you ever hurt her, Stuart?” Taylor sighed. “Why would you think that?"
Stuart wondered what Taylor had seen to give him such faith in Stuart's intentions. “All those girls...” Before being with Rieko, Stuart had told Taylor how many of his relations with women went.
"Meant nothin’ to you,” Taylor finished for him. “Rieko ain't one of those girls, is she?"
Stuart managed to shake his head.
"See,” Taylor said. He gave Stuart's shoulder a gentle push.
"She doesn't say so, but she wants more from me,” Stuart said.
"All women want commitment eventually.” Taylor sighed. “Is that what you're worried about?"
"She deserves more than me.” Stuart couldn't keep the sadness from his voice. So far he had yet to give her what she deserved, a man who loved her as much as she loved him. Stuart wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to do so.
"Nah, you're a great guy.” Still Taylor frowned at Stuart's statement. “What more does she need? She loves you, Stuart, and you love her. Why can't you just be happy about it?"
Stuart just stared back at Taylor. When had he ever made it seem like he echoed Rieko's feelings for him?
"You do love her, right, Stuart?” Taylor's brow creased.
"No,” Stuart answered, plain and honest.
"What do you mean ya don't love her?” Taylor's voice rose. “You've been gettin’ all cozy for months. You've been togethe
r for a couple weeks, right? How can ya not love her?"
"I don't know.” Stuart heard the confusion in his voice.
Taylor tightened his lips. “Who hurt you so bad? You've loved others, right? Why not love Rieko?"
Stuart made himself continue to look Taylor in his eyes. He managed only to reply with a shake of his head though. He didn't want the conversation to get any more personal than that.
Taylor leaned back and let out a deep sigh. Stuart knew that Taylor felt things strong and fast, never hiding those feelings. How was it he'd become such good friends with a man that was so different than him? Stuart didn't want Taylor to think he needed fixing.
"I've always got the opposite problem,” Taylor finally said. “Fall madly in love the second I see a woman."
"You in love with Ensign Carpenter?” Stuart asked. They had only been an item for a few weeks. How close could one get in such a short time?
"Leeza?” Taylor sighed again. “Head over heels, hook, line, and sinker. She's just gotta look my way and she's made my day."
Stuart frowned. “You still think I won't hurt, Rieko?” She deserved a man who would quickly fall in love with her, like Taylor, not one who still wasn't sure he'd ever love her.
Worry showed on Taylor's face. “We just need to sit down and think about this,” Taylor said. “What do you like about, Rieko?"
Stuart gathered his thoughts. Perhaps Taylor had something here, perhaps talking to someone other than Rieko would help.
"She has a lovely smile,” Stuart said. “She's good at her job and she really enjoys it. The way she crinkles up her little nose when she dislikes something.” Stuart couldn't help but smile at the thought. Taylor smiled back.
"That she's quite a bit stronger and braver than she'll ever know,” Stuart continued, “Her dark eyes, black as midnight. Her hair when it's down, black and silky and shiny.” Stuart sighed. “It's gorgeous. Her body, she has such a great body, full hips, a nice bum, breasts just the right size with small round nipples, narrow waist, long pale thighs."
Stuart noticed Taylor's wide eyes, and paused. “The way her body excites me,” Stuart said. “How she just has to look my way to make my heart race. Holding her in my arms, knowing so much about her.” He felt as though he'd never really had such companionship with a woman before. “I like talking with her. She gets me to talk about things I didn't think I was capable of. She makes me want to be a better man."
Taylor sighed, and it pulled Stuart from his thoughts. Taylor's face held a satisfied look and Stuart wasn't sure why. “Why isn't all of that love?” he asked Stuart. “You're friends with her, right?"
Stuart nodded. “Probably even better than you in many ways."
"You like being with her?” Taylor continued.
"Yes."
"She makes you happy?” Taylor cocked his head.
"Very much.” Stuart nodded again, and narrowed his eyes.
"You spent lots of time with her?"
"Yes.” What exactly was Taylor getting on about?
"The sex is...,” Taylor paused for the word, “good?” He gave a coy smile.
"Of course.” Stuart couldn't keep the slight blush off his cheeks.
"You go to her when you have a problem?"
"I should do that more often, but lately, yes.” Stuart nodded his head gently.
"You care about her?"
"Very deeply.” He realized more and more how much he cared.
"So, why isn't all of that love?” Taylor asked. “She's your best friend, confidant, companion, and lover. What else do you think love is Stuart?” Taylor furrowed his brow and cocked his head more.
Stuart took a long sip of his beer. He didn't have an answer, so there seemed little point to try and provide one. Silence fell. Taylor continued to look at Stuart, and he grew increasingly uncomfortable. Stuart was just about to ask Taylor to stop, when the other man flicked back on the game. The noise of the recorded crowd swallowed the silence between them.
"So, why not just go for a field goal, instead of the fourth down...” Stuart stopped, having forgotten the correct jargon of the unfamiliar sport.
"Conversion,” Taylor finished. “They're outta range. ‘Sides they need more than three points to win."
"They're on the forty yard line. How is that out of range?” Stuart shook his head. A good kicker should be able to kick the ball, however awkwardly shaped an American football might be, that far.
"Well, ya gotta hike the ball back five yards from the line of scrimmage,” Taylor said. “Plus the goal post's ten yards back in the end zone. That makes the kick more like fifty-five yards or so. A kicker that good ain't easy to find."
"Why's the post so far back?” Stuart cocked his head. He felt glad the attention returned to a silly sport and off his relationship with Rieko.
"Well, it used to be on the goal line.” Taylor shrugged. “Players kept running into it and gettin’ hurt."
"They look like they're decked out for a third World War, helmets and all.” Stuart shook his head in astonishment. “How could they get hurt running into a little metal pole?"
"Don't go knocking my favorite sport.” Taylor waved a finger at him in exasperation. “I didn't go makin’ fun of cricket, now did I?"
"What do you even know about cricket?” Stuart raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest.
Taylor pinched his lips in thought. “It involves a flat bat, and a ball, and those funny little half pants.” His voice tapered off at the end, uncertainty showing.
Stuart sighed. “I'll teach you rugby sometime, instead.” He popped a pretzel into his mouth. “Be more up your alley.” He couldn't wait to teach Taylor a thing or two about one of his favorite sports.
* * * *
[Back to Table of Contents]
Chapter Fourteen
* * * *
Stuart entered his quarters and rolled the small data chip between his fingers. Rieko was curious who from home had written him, but she'd asked no more when she handed him the chip to watch alone. He knew that getting any word from home meant only bad news. He would not have been written for good news. Stuart crossed the room and sat down at the desk. He placed the chip into his desk computer and waited for the image that he knew would emerge.
Madeline's face appeared before him. Her chestnut colored hair had more shine and luster than his darker tresses. Green tinted her blue eyes. A small smile graced her lips as it often did. She was the only one from home that would have written, no matter how bad the news to give was.
"Stuart.” Her voice rang clear over the light-years of space it had traveled to reach him. “I'm sending you this since I know no one else will.” She tightened her lips. “You should be told."
He smiled at the recording of her lovely face, thankful that, at least, Maddie was there to see he was not forgotten.
"Aunt Genna is quite sick,” she continued. The image of their favorite aunt sprang into his mind. Great Aunt Genna had an aged face with wrinkles from all the smiles that had graced it. Curls of silver surrounded her face, and crisp lucid green eyes showed the joy she still found in life.
"The cancer is back,” Maddie said, “in her liver now.” Great aunt Genna was in failing health for years, so none of this came as a surprise. “The doctors are giving her no more than six months to live.” Maddie's voice cracked a little with the news.
Aunt Genna was an old woman who had lived a full and long life, yet somehow only half a year of time left seemed too short. The thought hit Stuart that he would never again see his favorite aunt alive in person. He should have taken her up on that offer of a small holiday last spring before the ship left Earth. He'd had the leave time to do it, but thought he was too busy.
"For now she's doing fine and is in good spirits.” Maddie's voice brought his thoughts back to the letter. Was there a time in which Aunt Genna had not been in good spirits? She was the eternal optimist.
"Aunts Grace and Clare took her home from the hospital last Monday,�
� Maddie said. Great Aunt Genna had never found a man enough to her liking to settle down and have a family. Instead she used her nieces and nephew as her link to the next generation. Grace and Clare were the much older twin sisters of their mother, identical in so many ways and often very demanding of others. They had moved Aunt Genna in with them several years ago to care for her. Mum's parents had died when she and her sisters and brother were still fairly young, and it was Great Aunt Genna who cared for them after that.
"You need to mail her.” Maddie's voice held insistence, enough that Stuart wouldn't deny her. “First off she'd love to hear from you, but you have to say all you need to and give her time to respond in kind."
Stuart nodded to the recording. Knowing how long it took letters to travel out here, there was an urgency to contacting Aunt Genna, and the old woman would wish to send a reply, being a bit traditional like that.
"I know she has always been your favorite.” Maddie gave a slight smile to lessen her order. Aunt Genna had been all of their favorites, him, Maddie's, and Mum's, and Aunt Genna in turn was devoted to them.
"Went up this weekend to see her,” Maddie continued. “Asked to take Mum along.” Maddie's voice held a bitterness that one must ask their father to do something as simple as that. “You know how important Mum has always been to her.” Their mother was the youngest of her siblings, had missed their parents the most after their death. Aunt Genna's care of her during that rough time had linked them very close to each other.
"He wouldn't let her go.” Maddie's voice sounded calm and level, but Stuart knew her well enough to see the anger seething behind them. They had learned to hide their anger from him, and even now with the one person she knew would understand, she wouldn't allow it to show. Lessons learned so well are hard to break. Stuart frowned back at the screen.
"Gave some excuse about her needing to clean the house or do laundry or maybe it was just make him dinner,” Maddie said. She had likely been too furious at him by that time to remember the particular excuse he had given. “What does he have against her doing something that doesn't involve him?” Maddie's voice pleaded with Stuart to give her an answer she knew was not coming. “Why does he need that control?"