How I Learned to Love the Walrus
Page 30
"What did lover boy want this time?"
"Do you really want to spend our last night together talking about Blake?" I sure as hell didn’t. This could be my last opportunity to have sex for who knew how long. Before Blake I’d gone almost a year. I laid down next to Ethan and began tracing the scar on his abdomen with my fingertip, my obsession these past two days.
"Why didn’t you tell him it was me?" he said as he pushed my hand away.
"I did tell him," I said as patiently as I could, "when I went into the bathroom."
"What did he say?"
"Jesus Christ, Ethan, who cares? I’m starting to think the only reason you even asked me to stay was to prove something to Blake. He’s the young, handsome movie star, but you got the girl, so somehow that means you won."
He finally shut the magazine. "You do not think that."
"Yeah, Ethan," I said, turning my back on him, "sometimes I do." Not often, but at moments like these.
That’s when he snuggled up behind me and started rubbing my shoulders, before moving his hands down my back and below my waist. He waited until he felt me respond before he pulled me around to face him. "You know that’s not the reason I asked you to stay. Lover boy has nothing to do with this."
"Are you sure?" I asked, even as he slid his hand between my legs.
"Definitely," he said, pulling me on top of him.
"Then just so we’re clear," I said, as I unbuttoned the teddy I’d purchased at the Victoria’s Secret across the street. "You’re only with me for the sex. Blake has nothing to do with it."
"Not only the sex," he said, as he lifted the silk camisole over my head. "Although I’m certainly enjoying that too."
"Oh right. It’s not about the sex. You really love me for my mind."
We both froze. I never meant to utter the forbidden L-word, but it slipped out and I couldn’t take it back. Neither one of us was smiling anymore, but Ethan was the first to speak.
"What if I did?"
Epilogue
"Happily ever after? With Ethan? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"You’re in denial," Nicole said, then took another bite of her omelet.
Ethan usually joined us for our Sunday brunches, at least the weekends he was in town. This morning he’d begged off to have breakfast with a friend, a former colleague from North Carolina who’d recently moved to L.A.
"You’re in love with him," Nicole announced.
"In love with him! Need I remind you the man has enough emotional baggage to fill an eighteen wheeler, he’s twelve years older than me, drinks too much, and lives a thousand miles away."
"Yes, but the good news is he’s crazy about you too."
I passed on Nicole’s offer of a post-brunch movie because I wanted to get home before Ethan. Although it really wasn’t necessary since I’d already given him a key. I didn’t see it so much as a sign of commitment as a practical necessity. We’d been dating for six months—every other weekend he’d fly down to L.A. or I’d fly up to Seattle—and sometimes we’d arrive before the other got home. It wasn’t a perfect arrangement but I thought it was going pretty well until one day Ethan decided I needed to move up to Washington. I refused, of course, and Nicole backed me up on that even though she usually sided with Ethan on everything. She may have been my best friend, but she was Ethan’s biggest fan.
No matter how many times I explained that I needed to stay in L.A. since that was where all of my clients lived, Ethan refused to believe me. And every time I suggested he move closer to me, he’d remind me that he was a tenured professor at a major university and couldn’t relocate on a whim just because I wanted him to. Lately every time he mentioned it I’d change the subject. Otherwise we’d end up in a huge fight and the entire weekend would be ruined.
I was working on a proposal for a new client—she wanted to set up a foundation to stop abandoned pets from being euthanized—when Ethan returned.
"How was your breakfast?" I asked, barely glancing up from my laptop.
"Productive."
Since it wasn’t the answer I was expecting, I stopped typing and turned around.
"I wasn’t really having breakfast with a friend," Ethan said, joining me on the couch.
"Then what were you doing?" I asked, bracing myself for I didn’t know what.
He rubbed his hand across his three-day beard. "Call it an informal interview. Patti set it up."
"Interview for what?"
"A teaching position at UCLA. They’re looking for a visiting professor for the fall quarter."
"Isn’t that a temporary gig?" Not that it wouldn’t be nice to have a few months off from the biweekly commute. The airfare was getting outrageously expensive. Ethan usually paid, but I still felt awkward about it.
"Not always. Often they’re trial runs. If it works out they offer you a permanent position." He glanced around my combination living room/bedroom/office. "I thought we could rent a bigger apartment together, closer to campus."
"Um. Yeah. Maybe."
"Maybe?" he said, his voice rising at least an octave. "I thought this is what you wanted."
"It is," I answered honestly. Although I’m not sure I believed it would happen, or at least not so soon. "It’s a little sudden, don’t you think?"
"Sudden? Sydney, we’ve been talking about this for months."
"I know. But moving in together . . . . Ethan, that’s a huge step."
"So you thought I’d uproot my entire life for you, but we’d still live in separate apartments?"
"I didn’t—"
"Enough, Sydney." He jumped up from the couch. "Enough. I’m too old to play these games." He stopped pacing and turned around. "Tell me the truth. Do you love me or not?"
"Ethan, it’s not that simple."
"Yeah, Sydney, it is."
He stared at me until I gave him an answer.
"Yes, I love you. Happy now?" If the smile on his face was any indication, he appeared to be. "But, Ethan, you drive me crazy!"
The smile widened. "Of course I do, Sydney. What do you think love is?"
# # #
Note to Readers:
We hope you enjoyed this book. If you would like more information about the author or her other books, please visit her website at http://www.bethorsoff.com.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
/> Chapter 64