Never Never Land

by Treva Harte

  “Cole is a family name. Since I was the only boy, I got stuck with it.” He smiled, a tiny, masculine dimple showing. “I figure that was about the one thing my sisters couldn’t take from their baby brother.”

  That hint of a Texas drawl was a definite plus. Jake had always thought there was nothing like a good old Southern boy.

  “I like the name. How many sisters? And what things did they take from you?” Jenni was good at talking to people, making them open up. It wasn’t just her reporter instinct. She was genuinely interested in them. Jake had always been impressed by that. Unless a really good lay was the promised reward, he couldn’t talk to strangers easily. Sometimes not even that incentive worked.

  “Three older sisters. They say I was spoiled. But I’ve always said they’re why I went into the Navy. I had already learned to take orders from most everyone. More wine?” He raised the carafe, noticing her glass was empty.

  Good manners. Had they added that to the list? He didn’t think so. Jake gave himself more points for coming up with that on his own. He and the guys never thought about filling up Jenni’s glass whenever it was empty. They never even noticed Jenni’s glass. Maybe that’s what straight guys did. They were attentive without being sappy.

  “Yes, thanks. Guys, anyone else want any?”

  They all shook their heads. Jake’s throat was dry, but he wasn’t going to call attention to himself. This was Jenni’s show. It was going perfectly.

  “…yeah, even the ex agreed I knew how to handle women. As much as any man dares to say such a thing.”

  “You were married?”

  Jenni glanced over at Jake. He managed to smile. Yeah, Jen, I know. It’s fine. He hoped that’s what his smile looked like to her. She frowned and then turned back to Cole. God knows what she was thinking, but at least he didn’t have to say something.

  “Three years. Divorced two years now.”

  “Kids?”

  “No, ma’am. First because I was gone on tour too long to really make a decision on kids. Then we realized I was gone too long to make a marriage work. No baggage, no regrets. I’m still friends with her.” He smiled again. “I wouldn’t mind trying for kids sometime, though, if the right person showed up. It could happen. Now that I’m out, it finally looks like I’m going to be staying in one place for longer than a few weeks.”

  Out?

  Jake almost dropped his beer.

  Oh. Shit. Out of the freakin’ Navy.

  “And you picked Never Never Land to settle down in? That’s what I call Ft. Lauderdale. You have to admit the name fits.” Jenni laughed. “You must be crazy.”

  “Never cold, great beach, pretty women…what’s not to like? My daddy used to say growing up ain’t worth…uh, the effort. Hey, isn’t Neverland what Michael Jackson called his place? I’m not sure I want to go there.”

  No. Cole wouldn’t fit in Neverland or the Land of Lost Boys. Straight. Nice ass, great smile, good attitude, fine with women, wants kids, and straight. He was perfect. Perfect for Jenni.

  Jake saw Adam give him the thumbs-up as discreetly as Adam knew how. Jake shrugged.

  And it was just his tough shit that he was already getting hooked on this straight guy. Again. When was he ever going to learn? What the hell was wrong with him?

  He wanted Cole’s twinkling blue eyes to be looking at him while they talked. He wanted Cole to notice if he needed something to eat or drink. He wanted to see that small dimple show up because of something he said. And he really, really wanted to take a bite out of that great, tight ass.

  He was an idiot. Why was it that the only men he ever wanted were the ones who would never be interested back?

  “So, is that all right with you, Jake?” Jenni looked at him.

  Jake blinked. He’d lost track of the conversation.

  “Uh…sure. Why not?”

  “Then we’ll see you next Friday night at Jake’s house, Cole. It’s his turn to host.”

  Chapter Three

  Friday: On The Way to Jake’s Apartment

  “If we don’t stop sniping, Jenni is going to talk to us.”

  “I know. That’s why I said I’d take you to Jake’s house this week.” Chris kept his eyes on the road.

  “Okay. So, we’ll stop.”

  “It’s that easy?”

  “Sure. Why not?” Adam shrugged and stared out at the road as well. “It’s easier than Jenni’s talks.”

  “Great.”

  “Chris ‑‑” Adam’s throat tightened up. Why? But for once he couldn’t talk. Not about this.

  “All right. I’ll say it and get it over with. I was an asshole. I don’t drink because when I do, I’m always an asshole. An abusive, asshole jerk. I’m sorry about saying the things I did that night. Really. I apologize.”

  Adam saw his hair in the car mirror. It was standing up in spikes, a clear sign he had been raking his fingers through his thick curls. He folded his hands in his lap, willing himself not to give his emotions away. Just this once, no heart on sleeve, please.

  “What you said hurt because you used what you knew about me, about us being lovers, to score points.” Adam was faintly proud of how even his voice was. No anger this time. No hurt.

  “I appreciate that you were willing to stay friends with me afterward. Adam, that meant a lot.”

  Such careful words in return for his. Chris didn’t have to fight to make them sound dispassionate. Chris wasn’t the volatile one. Except, perhaps, when he drank. Or had he gotten drunk to excuse what he had said that night?

  “Yeah. It took awhile to get back to that, but we were friends first, before…before anything else. I’d hate to give that up, make Jenni and Jake and everyone else take sides.” Adam took a deep breath, then let it out through his nose.

  Chris would cut him out of his life if need be. Chris could do that. Not ever seeing Chris again would kill him. He’d faced that during those first awful days after the fight. But, strangely enough, Adam knew that it would hurt Chris a lot more.

  And he didn’t want to hurt Chris. He just wanted to know why. Why would Chris tear up the best thing they’d ever had? At least Adam knew it was the best thing he’d ever had. And it wasn’t like Chris had found anyone since. Not for long. Maybe not at all, as far as Adam could tell.

  “Yeah. Well, there’s Jake’s. Do you think Jenni took our advice?” Adam had his hand on the car handle. “Got the new hair color? Let her hair out of that damned knot?”

  He knew Chris had decided the apology was enough. I’ll say it and get it over with. That was so like him.

  Adam couldn’t ever ask why.

  Oh, fuck asking. Adam turned, catching Chris as he was pushing the latch on his seat belt. Adam pressed in, getting a glimpse of Chris’s surprised face before he pressed closer yet and kissed him.

  Hard. He forced his tongue between Chris’s slightly parted lips and stroked. Chris had always moaned when Adam did that.

  He moaned again this time. Chris twisted, whether to get away or get closer, Adam didn’t know. He took advantage of Chris’s momentary inability to move as the seat belt tangled him up, and unsnapped the other man’s chinos so he could slide his hand against Chris’s cock. Chris wasn’t going to push him away. He wouldn’t be able to.

  He was already getting hard. Adam knew this Chris just as well as he knew the aloof, quiet one. Not many people knew about Chris the moaner. Adam squeezed that thick cock just to hear another hoarse gasp let loose from Chris’s mouth. Then he moved his head enough to let his mouth skim the pulse at Chris’s throat. The beat of Chris’s blood hammered against Adam’s lips. He could taste Chris’s skin.

  No one else tasted just like Chris.

  Lost in sudden, swamping sensation, he felt Chris’s cock harden even more as Adam straddled his lap. Yes. Chris was as overwhelmed as he was. Chris bucked underneath him. Yes. Oh yes. Chris was just as needy.

  So long. It had been so long.

  One month, two weeks and ‑‑ too long. They rocked
together, cock against cock. Adam’s erection strained against his jeans. He should have unzipped them when he was taking care of Chris. He fumbled for his fly with one hand, and his elbow hit the car horn as he jerked on Chris’s cock with the other hand.

  The horn’s blast made them both jump. Chris opened his eyes, got one arm free, and shoved. Adam didn’t move. Just then, he couldn’t.

  “Damn it!” Chris panted in his ear. “Get off me. What the hell are you doing?”

  Damn it.

  “Trying to answer a question.”

  Chris wasn’t turned off by him in bed. It wasn’t anything he’d done there. Back in the passenger’s seat, Adam wiped his face and tried to steady his breathing. They were still just as hot together as before.

  Why then? Damn it, why?

  “Answer it by yourself then.” Chris had already tucked his shirt back into his pants. “I’m going in to dinner. Idiot.”

  Adam watched Chris leave the car and head to Jake’s. Tight buns, but Chris walked like a poker was up his butt. It didn’t matter. On Chris it looked good. Fucking sexy.

  Chris shut the apartment door firmly behind him, leaving Adam alone. Only then did Adam turn and slam his fist into the dashboard of the car.

  * * * * *

  “Guys, I said tone down the insults, not stop talking,” Jenni hissed at them in the kitchen. “Between Jake losing track of the conversation and staring all moon-eyed at Cole and you two sitting there without saying a word, this dinner is not going well.”

  “Jake isn’t moon-eyed.” Chris slit open the pineapple with an efficient thwack of the knife.

  “He’s giving a good imitation of it, then.”

  “But he knows that ‑‑ never mind.” Adam grabbed the plate of pineapple and headed for the dining room.

  He stared over at Jake and Cole. No moon eyes at the blond newcomer there. Both of them were staring at Jake’s wall instead. That was odd. It wasn’t that Adam didn’t think Jake’s interior design skills could use work. Probably it could take hours of staring at the walls before what he’d done could be fixed. But other than that, Adam couldn’t figure out what was so fascinating about a wall with shelves of lined-up trophies.

  “…for losers.” Jake turned toward Adam and said, “Don’t you think so?”

  “What?”

  “Displaying the trophies you earned in high school and college is just for losers at a certain point. Don’t you think so?”

  “Is this a trick question?” Adam squinted over at the Wall of Fame. He’d been teasing Jake about those trophies for years. “I thought you loved being the king jock.”

  “God knows my mother has my stuff up still at her house,” Cole said. “Down to my Little League trophy for learning how to put on my uniform. Only thing more important than that was the clippings about me quarterbacking for my high school. Mama had them framed.”

  “Yeah. Well, parents are supposed to do that. Some parents. Mine aren’t that excited about having my name lingering around the house.” Jake glared at a large silver cup. “Anyhow, it’s been over a decade since I got one of these things. It’s probably time to throw them in a box and toss them out.”

  Maybe it was a full moon. Something was definitely off tonight. Jake would rather throw out his left nut than his trophies.

  “Oh, I dunno. If you toss them, you won’t have any decorations at all in the place. You have minimalist down to a fine art, Jake.” Adam waved at the off-white walls, the brown couch and rug. That was about it for the living room if you didn’t count the huge plasma TV. “The entire place would be Early American Bland without the commemoration of your youthful sports prowess. But more importantly right now, dessert is on. Such as it is. Chris decided fruit was what we needed tonight.”

  “I never should have mentioned my high cholesterol.” Jake shook his head.

  “I believe your doctor said you were the poster boy for how to get a heart attack if you didn’t change some of your habits,” Adam said.

  “I believe I said too much.” Jake glanced over at Cole.

  Was that what Jenni would construe as a moon-eyed stare? Adam decided he wasn’t in the mood to try to figure out what other people’s feelings were tonight. He had enough going on in his own gut.

  For once, Adam would have been happy to have everyone, including him, shut up while they ate, but Cole and Jenni seemed determined to go through a game of Twenty Questions during dinner. Of course, they were really good at it. There seemed to be no end to the Q and A.

  “So you all met in college?” Cole took a second helping of pineapple.

  “Statistics.” Jenni shuddered. “All my counselors said taking a business minor was a smart move. They never mentioned statistics. I clung to Jake and Chris for dear life.”

  “Not Adam?” Cole smiled over at him.

  “Adam was totally clueless. I sell things; I don’t quantify them.” Adam smiled back. Cole did have a killer smile. “I was clinging, right along with Jenni.”

  He’d been totally dazzled by his luck at getting into their study group. Jake had been the main attraction at first ‑‑ big, muscular, sexy as hell Jake. But then he noticed Chris. Really noticed Chris.

  Chris had always been thin. Back in college, he was too skinny. Too tall. Too quiet. Too serious. Adam didn’t even particularly go for brunets. Over ten years. God, he’d been wondering just what he saw in Chris for over a decade.

  Adam still didn’t know.

  But the two of them had been circling each other for a long, long time, refusing to connect. It seemed like when they even tried, they sizzled so hot that they both got burned.

  “Listen, I have an early interview tomorrow, guys, so I need to skip out early.” Jenni stood up. “Do you want me to give you a ride home, Adam?”

  He lived closer to Jenni than Chris, but Chris had picked Adam up this time to give Jenni a chance to be with Cole for the evening. He’d probably decided to “talk” to Adam at the same time. Chris was a big multitasker.

  He could say no. Make Chris give him a ride home. Break down and beg Chris to come in for the evening. Just the evening. No promises this time. No ‑‑

  Adam looked over at Chris’s set face. No. Just no. Chris wasn’t going to give in again. And there was no way he was going to beg if he wasn’t going to get what he wanted. He did a lot of things, but he wasn’t into humiliation.

  “Sure. I have some clients coming by early to look at a place anyhow.” Adam stood up. “Thanks, sweetie.”

  “I appreciate it.” Chris nodded at them.

  He appreciated it. Fuck him. Adam headed for the door without looking back.

  The door’s slam reverberated through the condo. Jenni grabbed her keys and ran after Adam.

  Chris, of course, made the apologies for everyone. Chris was good at saying the right thing. It hadn’t even occurred to Jake to make any. Adam was just Adam. If you thought about why he flew off the handle half a dozen times a week, you wouldn’t have time for much else.

  Looking at Cole, Chris said, “I’m sorry. Sometimes Adam is…volatile. He doesn’t mean anything by it.”

  “No call to say anything to me.” Cole shrugged.

  “Thanks. Listen, I should leave myself. My accountant needs me to fax some forms before noon tomorrow, and I still need to get them together. Jake, it was a pleasure.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Jake got to his feet. “As long as you’re being Ms. Manners, I guess I need to show you to the door.”

  Chapter Four

  After Chris left, Jake felt his stomach clench with tension…tension, not anticipation, he assured himself. It was the first time since he’d seen Cole in the bar that they’d been by themselves.

  When Jake strolled into the kitchen after seeing Chris out, he realized Cole had started to load dishes in the dishwasher. His wife must have domesticated him. Or maybe it was the Navy. God knows he had been pretty much been a slob until the Army straightened that out.

  Jake leaned against the kitchen cou
nter, trying not to scope out Cole’s ass.

  “I can do that. I’m used to it with that crowd,” he said. “You want a beer before you head out? I mean, you don’t have to go. But I just figured you would.”

  Casual. That was it.

  “I’m almost done. It gave me a chance to stay and ask you something anyhow.” Cole shut the dishwasher and turned toward Jake.

  Close. Really close. Cole had on a very nice aftershave. Jake liked the masculine scent underneath it even more. He tried to sniff without looking too obvious.

  “What?” Jake mumbled.

  “What’s going on here?” Cole wasn’t smiling.

  “What?” Jake froze.

  So he wasn’t the quickest thinker or talker. Jake straightened up from the counter and tried to think faster.

  “I don’t know what. You hit on me last week. At least, I figured you did. Then all of a sudden I was hanging out with your friends ‑‑ nice friends, too, I’m not complaining about that, and you’re in another room most of the time. So, I’m confused.” Cole looked him in the eye, all twinkle gone from his. “I thought about asking Jenni, since she seems to be in charge of talking instead of you, but I thought that was cowardly. So I’m asking you straight up. If straight is the word.”

  “Ahh.” Jake cleared his throat. “That’s the thing. You’re straight. I’m not.”

  Cole didn’t say anything.

  God, don’t tell me I totally misread things yet again.

  “Right?” Jake prodded. “Used to be married, want kids, likes women…”

  “None of that means I’m straight.” Cole put his hands on Jake’s shoulders. Jake’s throat went dry, and his cock went hard. “Although I am.”

  Jake’s heart hit the knot in his stomach.

  “Usually,” Cole added.

  “What?” Jake managed again. He didn’t know what to think, feel, or say at this point.

  “I’ve been known to get me some strange now and then. If the guy attracts me. And buddy, you attract me, a whole lot.” Cole bent over and locked his lips on Jake’s.