by SE Jakes
The fact that Cole had kept the secret about being accused of stealing and the subsequent time spent in jail wasn’t a surprise. The fact that Cole had talked to Marcus so candidly about his time on the streets? That had been a surprise to Law, who’d never been able to open up to anyone that easily—not after such a short period of time.
He heard Marcus come into the room behind him, but he didn’t turn around, choosing instead to focus on the two men who would no doubt be naked in the next five minutes.
“You all right?” he asked Marcus.
“You’re really going to concentrate on me when you have them right in front of you?” Marcus asked without a hint of judgment or irony in his tone.
Law turned to him. “They’ll keep.” And then he got up and motioned for Marcus to follow him outside. They both had their weapons on them, and they stayed close to the porch, scanning the area out of habit. They’d also made sure they were positioned behind some of the taller chairs and the columns so they wouldn’t be easy targets.
“I don’t think he’s here,” Marcus said, and no, Law didn’t get that feeling either. And he’d been watched enough times during his Delta Force days to know.
“You and Cole had a hell of a fight.”
Marcus grimaced. “Sorry about that.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me. I’ve been there.”
“As the secret keeper, or the one pissed at the secrets?”
“Both,” Law admitted. “But you can’t let him hide forever.”
“Just until his urge to hit me passes.”
“I don’t think that’s going to be anytime soon.”
Marcus sighed. “You’re not going to tell me how wrong I am?”
“Can’t tell you how to feel,” Law said easily. “But how do you feel?”
“Like I was motherfucking lied to.”
“Well, you were.”
“We’re risking our lives for this. I mean, he sees that and still he did nothing,” Marcus fumed.
“True. We all have things we don’t want to admit.”
“Don’t do that, Law.”
“What? Be logical? I know—it throws people sometimes,” he said easily. “And are you really mad that he didn’t tell you because of the case? Or are you mad he didn’t tell you for other reasons?”
“Fuck you and your logic.”
“I didn’t have to tell Greg much—he knew. But telling Damon and Styx…well, that took a while. And it changed a lot for me. You’ve got to give Cole time, Marcus. He was thrown into all of this, and he feels responsible. Sometimes having secrets is a very necessary thing for survival. And Cole’s a survivor. So am I, all right?”
Marcus stared at him. “I realize that you’d been in a certain kind of hell yourself at one point, which means you understand him. And I’m trying, Law, but even if I do understand…he’s pissed at me.”
Law snorted. “Well of course he’s pissed. You are kind of a dick.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Cole had gone up to the attic after he and Marcus argued, where he could see the comings and goings of the whole neighborhood. Law went outside and then Marcus pulled into the driveway. No one came up here to him, which was good. He was still so tightly wound it might take a week before the tension bled off.
He supposed he could use the gym the guys had set up in their basement. But that meant dealing with Marcus. And while he was far from a coward, he didn’t want to go another round of “you use rich men for a living”.
But inevitably—maybe even surprisingly—Marcus did come up, much sooner than Cole expected. And he was carrying a plate of Paolo’s pasta like a peace offering.
“I want to throw it at your head, but I’m too hungry,” Cole admitted.
Marcus gave a small, rueful smile and handed it to him. “I figured.”
“Which part?”
“Both.”
Cole ate as Marcus looked out the window. He was almost done when Marcus, without turning back around, said, “I’ve had some bad experiences. They’ve colored my judgment.”
“Yeah well, me too,” Cole said. He put the plate down and moved to sit on the edge of the double bed.
Marcus did turn to him finally. “Rich-boy problems, I guess.”
“Definitely.” He paused. “I get it, okay? A lot of guys I worked with are exactly the kind of guys you’re talking about. I’m not one of them, but hell, I could tell you forever and that wouldn’t mean anything. I guess showing you’s the only way to prove anything to you, but if you’re thinking I’m going to be stealing money from your wallet every five minutes…”
“I don’t think that, Cole,” Marcus said quietly. “It’s just…I loved this guy. He hurt me, worse than I’d ever thought I could be hurt.”
Cole’s face hardened, and for a second, Marcus wasn’t sure why. And then he realized…Cole was upset for him.
Cole was also jealous.
“Who was he?” Cole demanded. “And when?”
Marcus sat on the bed next to him. “I’d really rather not talk about him.”
“Why? You’ve still got a thing for him.”
“No. If I saw him tomorrow, I’d say hi, but I wouldn’t feel anything—not love, not hate. Just, whatever. But at the time…it colored everything. Made me look at anyone and everyone who came into my life from that point forward differently.”
Cole nodded. “I can see that. I had the same issues. Still do. Most of the rich guys I met were assholes.” He paused. “By the way, you acted like an asshole today. Like you did when I first met you. And I figured you had money. Well, not for sure, but I mean…”
“I’m an asshole?”
“Yeah. But in a good way. At least now.”
Marcus shook his head. “You sure know how to compliment a guy.”
Cole laughed.
“So…”
“Yeah.” Cole sighed. “Look…after this, I always assumed…”
“That what? We’d be done?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I didn’t want to want anything, Marcus. I don’t want to want anything I can’t have. Hurts too much.”
“Suppose you could have your wish?”
“You first.”
Marcus nodded. “I’d want to keep doing this. I know we’ve got to face the real world soon enough. But I feel like we’ve gone past dating.”
“We jumped right into living together.”
Marcus snorted but then noticed the expression on Cole’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“Sorry, nothing. Just…I don’t know if I’ve still got a job. I could go back to the apartment, but after that guy’s been there…”
“No, you’re not going back there,” Marcus told him. “No way.”
“Then what?”
“You’re coming home with me.”
“Is that an order?”
“Cole, come on…”
“What? Mooch until I get on my feet? And have you worry the whole time?”
“I wouldn’t.”
Cole stared at him. “I would.”
“I think we both have to get over ourselves.”
“You first.”
Marcus sighed. “I got a call about a job. Like the work I used to do.”
“The work that gave you nightmares?” Cole asked quietly, but without judgment.
“Yeah. And I was considering it. And not just because we were fighting. But maybe…maybe one good mission to end on would erase the bad.”
Cole reached up and ran a hand through Marcus’s hair. “I don’t want you to go, but I’d understand if you had to. Why you’d have to. Maybe you could put some of those old ghosts to rest.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
Cole considered that for a long moment. “Is it going to do more good for others than for you? Because I’ll tell you, Marcus, you don’t owe anybody anything. You paid your dues. The only thing left to prove is how good of an agent you are, and
as far as I’m concerned, as far as the men who offered you this job are concerned, you already are. Sometimes, all it takes is for us to forgive ourselves. I know that’s easier said than done. But if you can try to do that, to forgive yourself for me…”
As Cole’s voice broke, something inside of Marcus did too, but it wasn’t a bad thing. No, it was the entire wall that had been put up, crumbling, letting out all of the bad feelings he’d had from those missions, from that failed mission. Cole’s words were things he hadn’t allowed himself to even think about dealing with, let alone say out loud.
“Thank you,” he managed.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Ah hell, Cole…you did everything. You are everything.”
Cole wrapped around him, hugged him hard. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Marcus. It’s just…look, everything I did was for survival. I can’t justify it. But selling myself as an escort to those rich guys? It made me feel more like a whore than when I was working the street. I don’t know why. And then I went to fucking prison for something I didn’t do. On the street, I got hit, but I never got accused of trying to use rich guys. But I don’t want that to be a hang-up between us. And I think I made it one.”
“We’ll figure it out, Cole,” Marcus assured him.
Chapter Thirty
Julian’s face lit up when he saw Cole and Law come into the room. “Hey, I hope you guys brought food from the outside, because this shit? It’s terrible.” He pointed at the JELL-O on his tray and then waved his hand over a mess that looked like gravy and possibly mashed potatoes.
Law held up a bag of greasy fast food, which immediately brought a smile to Julian’s lips. He handed it over, and Julian began to rip into the food like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. Which, Cole thought, he probably hadn’t.
As if reading his mind, Law put a light hand on Cole’s shoulder and squeezed gently. The message was, no doubt, something along the lines of Don’t worry—we’ll fix this. We’ll keep him safe.
“Have the doctors told you when you’ll be discharged?” Law asked when Julian’s feeding frenzy had slowed a touch.
Julian nodded, said, “The doctor said in two days. And that cool social worker you sent said he’d escort me there personally,” before shoving a handful of fries dipped in ketchup into his mouth.
Cole froze. “What social worker?”
If he noticed Cole’s worry, Julian didn’t show it. “Some guy—can’t remember his name but he wore one of those white coats. He said he knows Law and that I’d be fine from now on.”
Law just nodded, gave Cole a hard look and left the room for a few long moments. When he came back, the doctor was behind him.
“Just a quick checkin,” the doctor told them.
“We’ll step out. Julian, we’ll be right outside,” Law told him. When they got into the hallway, Law didn’t wait. “There’s no male social worker that visited Cole. There are no male social workers who work at this hospital right now.”
“What do we do now?” Cole asked, forcing down the now all too familiar panic. Surprisingly, it happened easily, this time replaced by a war of anger and determination. “I won’t let that freak get near Julian.”
Law was texting, no doubt to Styx or Paolo or even Marcus. “We can go at this a couple of ways. One of us—meaning me, Styx, Paolo or Marcus—can stay here with him. Be the surprise wild card when that ‘social worker’ returns. Plant a false release date.”
“No way—this guy’s too smart for that. He scouts before he makes his move. If he knows one of you guys is around, he’ll never do it. But if I’m there…”
Law’s lips clamped together, but he didn’t say anything.
Cole said quietly, “I realize this guy wants to kill me. I realize that Julian is probably my replacement. But I also know that making myself vulnerable might be the only way to end this.”
Law winced at his choice of words, and to be honest, Cole did as well, but he stood firm.
“I’ll call Marcus and the others. Talk with them. We’ll have to be here, scattered through the hospital. We are all gonna have to up our game for this one.”
“Do we tell Julian?”
“I’d want to know.” Cole’s words reverberated through Marcus. He put a hand on the younger man’s neck, rubbed and forced himself not to rethink his decision to let Cole be in the room with Julian when the stalker was in close proximity. It was such a risky thing. Such a stupid thing. But they’d run out of choices, beyond Marcus and Cole running away and hiding. And neither man ran any longer—that was one thing they’d agreed on.
Marcus had picked Cole up and taken him back to the house to talk to the others, leaving Law to watch Julian. They figured that the guy was going to be looking out for anything unusual, so they decided to wait until tomorrow in order to execute the plan fully. That is, if they all agreed.
Marcus glanced at Paolo, nodded, and Paolo said, “Julian’s not you. He’s got no experience at all. He won’t be able to fake it if he sees this guy again, and that will give away the whole plan. We need the stalker to feel as comfortable as possible. Like he’s won. You can explain this all to Julian afterwards. Or maybe, if we’re lucky, Julian never has to know about it at all.”
Cole swallowed hard, and Marcus pulled him in for a hug, murmured, “If I could’ve saved you from knowing this…” He trailed off, because it was obvious what he would’ve done, how he would’ve handled it. And it had nothing to do with Cole not being strong enough. It was about how, once you’d seen too much, there was no way to unsee it. No way to erase it from your brain. No way to get rid of the pain completely.
The garage was heated, the door leading into the kitchen was propped open and the main door on the garage was locked. Unless the man after him was a mouse, Cole couldn’t be safer, but that didn’t stop Marcus from watching him like a hawk. Which, of course, drove him fucking nuts.
“I can’t work like this,” Cole complained. He needed to get himself centered on this plan, and he needed to make sure all the panic was gone. Which meant he had to turn to doing something that could take his mind off things. As much as he wanted that thing to be Marcus, he needed some space from him to turn off the worry. “Walk away and do something else.”
Marcus rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll be in the next room.”
When Marcus finally left, Cole muttered to himself, because Marcus no doubt still had the camera trained on him. But it still allowed him that space and pretty soon he began to lose himself in taking apart the old bike that Styx had rescued long ago on a mission. The bike was from the 60s, Army issue, although over the years people had tried to make modifications. What they tried to add didn’t match what the Army had created, and Cole was a master at making sure the new and the old blended together perfectly. This wasn’t a one-day job or even a week’s job. No, this was a project and something he’d needed desperately.
He owed Styx for so many things, but for this…
Hours passed. Someone switched on the light in the garage for him, and he wasn’t sure who because he never looked up. His hands were full of grease and so was his shirt. At times he’d look and find a bottle of water or some food next to him and he’d halfheartedly eat or drink as he rewired and reworked portions of the bike.
He heard the three men laughing in the living room, heard Paolo’s snort, Styx’s reprimand for God knew what. Law’s booming laugh was missing, which meant he was still with Julian, and then there was the rumble of Marcus’s voice that went straight down his spine and to his dick.
He put the wrench down, and thought about how much Marcus affected him. How easy it would be to just go into the room and assimilate with them at this moment. And they’d let him—Marcus would pull him down onto the couch next to him and they would keep laughing and joking and pretend that they weren’t here for any other reason but a job.
But you are a job.
And that reminder was like cold water on him. He shivered, and realized how cold it had become suddenly
. Which was odd because there was heat earlier. He was about to stand and check the thermostat when he caught the sound of a rush of wind. He turned and realized that the garage door had been cracked slightly.
“What the—”
He didn’t get the last word out when a hand closed over the front of his neck and his mouth. A hard body pulling his to it. The grasp was unyielding. Terrifying. The voice in his ear was even more so. “Good to see you again. I’ve really missed you, Jax.”
Cole knew that voice…but from where? He didn’t have time to process more.
Under the man’s hand, he whimpered, realized that they were moving, going through a panel that had been cut into the back of the garage. And then they stopped moving, and the man’s hand went down the front of his pants and gripped his cock that was flaccid from fear and stroked it. Cole half sobbed under the man’s hand as he felt himself get hard.
Simple biology. That’s all it was.
The terror ran through him like a goddamn river of rage and pain, and finally his body unlocked. He managed to move. Kick. He elbowed the body holding him but the grip never wavered in its strength. The hand moved faster, and the voice said, “I’m going to open you with my cock, the way I wanted to when we first met. I’ve been planning. Gonna make it so good for you. Trust me, baby.”
Trust me, baby. He continued struggling, managed to cry out for Marcus, but it sounded so low to his own ears, and the man continued to stroke him and then suddenly he was alone. He turned around, scared, confused, and saw Marcus there and Styx and Paolo running in the direction of the woods. Marcus was leading him inside the house. Sitting him down. Checking him over.
Cole wanted to tell him to calm the fuck down. But he realized he must be in shock because he couldn’t get a goddamn word out. Marcus was talking to him and it was like he was seeing the man through a haze of water. His ears were clogged. He couldn’t move his body.
It was then he realized that the man who’d gripped him had drugged him.
“Cole, it’s okay. Styx’s got something that’s going to get the shit out of your system fast. It’s the reason you can’t move. You’re going to be fine. You’re safe.”