My heart stuttered in my chest and my fingers tightened on the bill in my hand, crumpling it into a sweaty ball. It wasn’t cold enough outside for a ski mask. Something very, very bad was about to happen and I was frozen in place. I couldn’t move my legs to run away, not that fleeing was a good idea. The fact was I didn’t know what to do and neither did the poor clerk who immediately raised his hands in the air when the masked man brandished a gun.
A gun.
“Everybody just shut up and no one gets hurt.” The thief pointed to the register with the barrel of his gun. “Clear it out and put it in a bag. Slowly. Don’t be a hero and you get to go home to your family tonight.”
There were three of us – myself, the clerk, and another man wearing dark sunglasses at night, who actually looked a trifle bored by the whole thing. Like it was just another day. It took me a minute to realize he was with the thief and he also had a gun, although he wasn’t waving it around. But it was at that moment that he seemed to notice me.
“You,” he said, pointing the gun at my chest. I’d never had a gun pointed directly at me and you’d be surprised by how scary it was. I was no superhero and if he wanted my purse he could have it with my compliments. It wasn’t even a real Prada, just a knockoff I’d purchased at a flea market. I just wanted to live through this. “Don’t make a move and keep those hands where I can see them.”
I hadn’t planned on it and couldn’t even if I wanted to. Sweat had pooled on the back of my neck and under my arms, giving me what I assumed was a stink of desperation and terror. Shelby had explained it to me once but I had barely listened. Next time I would listen. I would for sure.
I hope there’s a next time.
The man pointing a gun at me didn’t have all of his face covered like the other guy and I couldn’t help but think that I might be able to pick him out of a lineup. Which was bad. So incredibly bad. He might not want to leave any witnesses. What if he was just leading us on by saying we’d be okay and then when they got their money he’d shoot us dead without a second thought?
I didn’t want to be dead. I desperately needed to live and do all of the things that I’d always said that I wanted to do but never seemed to get around to actually doing. I hadn’t had the great love of my life yet, unless you counted Josh.
I definitely couldn’t count him.
I hadn’t gotten married or had a baby or climbed a mountain or visited Paris. I’d always wanted to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower but now because of this asshole I wasn’t going to get a chance to do that. I was going to die young and become a cautionary tale to others about visiting convenience stores after dark. I could hear my sister telling a work colleague…
If only Mia wasn’t addicted to chocolate and caffeine. She’d be alive today.
The clerk whose nametag said Randy – if I lived I would remember his name for the rest of my life – filled a brown paper bag with the money from the cash register. In the meantime, I wasn’t sure how I was still standing upright because my heart was beating so fast and loud I was sure they could hear it a mile away. I was still frozen with shock and fear but those emotions were quickly turning to anger. I didn’t want to be a casualty of this night. I wanted to live.
I realized at that moment that I had never really gone after what I wanted. Sure, I’d played at it but always sort of half-hearted so if I didn’t get it then I could just say it was no big deal. I didn’t want it bad enough to really put it all on the line and go for it. Taking chances wasn’t my style. I was all about keeping to my comfort zone. It hadn’t been a terrible way to live but it was no way to go forward. If I died now I wouldn’t have much to show for my life. I didn’t even know what they’d put on my tombstone or in my obituary.
Mia Kelly died like she lived. Standing still.
I closed my eyes for a moment and sent up a thought into the universe. I wasn’t a particularly religious person but I was spiritual. If there was anyone listening perhaps they could give me a hand in my time of need.
If I survive this, I promise to go out of my comfort zone. I promise to go after what I want. No more half-assing my life. As of now, I’m a changed woman.
Randy handed the stuffed brown bag to the masked man and the two robbers began to back toward the door they’d come in. The man in shades lifted his gun and pointed it directly to my chest and bared his teeth as if he were an animal.
“Don’t move a muscle until we’re gone. Do you understand?”
I did understand and somehow I even managed to nod, although I think it was a reflex and not any functioning part of my brain initiating the action. The two men fled out of the entrance and into a waiting car I hadn’t noticed until that moment. Their tires squealed loudly as they drove out of the parking lot. Randy rolled his eyes and reached for his phone on the back counter.
“Shit, I hate it when this happens. My boss is going to be pissed.”
I placed my sweaty palms on my thighs to dry them, forgetting that I held a twenty in my hand. It fluttered to the floor but I didn’t lean down to pick it up. Instead my knees gave way and I slid down to the tile, my back up against the counter. I was shaking so hard I had to hold onto my fake Prada purse with both hands. The room spun but then righted as I concentrated on my breathing. In and out. In and out. The yoga classes that Emmy and Ashlyn dragged me to were finally coming in handy.
“Hey, lady? You’re not going to pass out, are you? I called the cops and they’ll be here in a minute. I can call an ambulance, too. Do you want me to call an ambulance?”
Randy’s voice sounded like I had my head in the sink.
“I’m not going to pass out.”
But I might throw up.
I could hear the sirens in the distance. Help was almost here but I was already safe. In fact, I had been safe for far too long. I’d been sliding through life simply skimming the surface but never going too deep. That changed tonight. I’d made a deal with the universe. They’d done their part, now I had to do mine.
“I’m going to go after what I want.”
If Randy thought my statement was a little strange he didn’t say so. Two police cruisers pulled into the parking lot, sirens blaring and lights flashing. I’d be here for awhile giving a statement but tomorrow would be a new day.
In the morning, I’d start going after all the things I wanted in my life. First on the list?
Josh Henry.
CHAPTER NINE
Josh
I ended up at Luke’s house after I dropped Trisha off at her place. As I expected, he had the game on and was watching with his wife Rachel. She told me to help myself to a beer in the refrigerator, so I snagged one and joined them in the living room. We watched the game and didn’t say much until halftime.
“Clearly your date didn’t go well,” Luke observed, digging into the chips and French onion dip on the coffee table.
“What makes you say that?”
“You were at our front door by nine-fifteen,” Rachel said, returning from the kitchen with three fresh beers. “That’s not a good sign.”
“Maybe I wanted to talk to Luke about the new game on the drawing board.”
“We should talk about that,” Luke replied, sliding an arm around Rachel as she snuggled close. “On Monday morning.”
“Since when do you not like to work on the weekends? You’re worse than me.”
Rachel’s brow quirked and she shook her head. “No one is worse than you.”
Okay, that might be true. But I loved what I did and I was damn lucky to be doing it.
“So that brings us back to my original observation,” Luke said. “Your date didn’t go well tonight. Did you piss Trisha off?”
“You could say that,” I said dryly, remembering the incredibly awkward conversation we’d had at the end of our meal. “We broke up.”
To my chagrin, neither of them looked even remotely surprised.
“What was the reason this time?” Rachel asked, taking a drink from her beer bottle. “She wante
d you to meet her parents? She had bad breath? She liked to watch ‘Gilmore Girls’?”
It appeared that Rachel had paid more attention in those past conversations about my girlfriends than I’d given her credit for. She made me sound petty though and I didn’t consider myself that way.
I wasn’t…was I?
“She was pressuring me to go on vacation with her over Thanksgiving. That’s almost two months away. It’s only the end of September.”
Rachel’s eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open in mock horror. “A whole two months? That’s practically a lifetime. Who does she think she is trying to make plans with you so far in advance?”
Luke was laughing but I didn’t appreciate the joke at my expense.
“Ha ha, I get it. So funny. Seriously, we’ve only been dating since July. That’s not very long.”
“It’s long enough when you’re with the right person,” Luke argued. “A week is long enough when you’ve met the one.”
“I’ve never even been in the same zip code as the one. In fact, I’m beginning to think all of this talk about the one is a bunch of bullshit.”
Rachel shot me the evil eye. “Here I am just sitting here like I’m invisible to you. Asshole.”
Luckily, she and I had a really good relationship. She was the best thing that had ever happened to Luke. She knew it, too. She never gave him – or me – a hard time when we would work all weekend at his place. She simply took the opportunity to go do her own thing. I really liked that she was independent like that. They didn’t live in each other’s pockets. Like my parents.
“Okay, you two are each other’s one but I’ve never met anyone like that.”
“Do you want to?” Rachel challenged. “Because you’ve never acted like it was important to you.”
“I do. Eventually.”
I’d just never been in any hurry. There was plenty of time for…that.
“What does the right woman look like, Josh? What is she like?”
I had no idea really. I liked all kinds of women.
“I don’t know. Pretty. Funny. Intelligent. Kind. Likes the outdoors and sports. Gets along with my family and friends. Has interests of her own. Successful in her field, but she doesn’t have to make a lot of money or anything. She should just be good at what she does. Athletic would be nice. A dog lover but not cats. She should like to travel to places off the beaten path, maybe even camping or hiking Europe.”
Did that sound stupid?
“She sounds like a real paragon of virtue.” Luke joked. “If a woman was that perfect, she wouldn’t give your ugly ass the time of day.”
I flipped him the bird. “Got it. I’m no prize.”
Rachel elbowed her husband before turning her attention back to me. “I’m going to tell you something that may shock you, Josh, but you need to know it. You’re not special. You’re pretty much like every guy I’ve ever dated. Scared of commitment and looking for a human being that doesn’t exist. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever been dumped? Ever?”
I opened my mouth to say that of course I’d been dumped. Everyone had at one point but then I hesitated for a moment. My mind whirled with all the girls that I’d dated through the years and how each relationship had ended.
“My first girlfriend,” I replied triumphantly. “Katie Torrino. She dumped me for the quarterback of the football team.”
My parents wouldn’t let me play football. Or rather my mom wouldn’t. I’d begged and begged but she’d stood firm and dad wouldn’t overrule her. If he had I probably would have lost my virginity much earlier in high school.
“But no one after that?” Rachel asked, reaching for a chip. “Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know. Is it important?”
She rolled her eyes and popped the chip into her mouth. “You don’t think it’s weird that you absolutely have to be the first to end things? That doesn’t give you pause for even a second?”
“Maybe I just know what I want and I’m decisive. I don’t want to waste time in relationships that aren’t going to work out.”
“How would you know?” Rachel shot back. “You don’t stick around long enough to find out.”
“That’s not fair. I stick around.”
Rachel nodded and reached for another chip. The game was starting again. “Okay. I’m probably wrong.”
That was it? She wasn’t going to argue with me? I looked at Luke for help but he was simply smiling at his wife as if she’d done something extremely clever.
“You’re just giving up?”
“Is it an argument? I made an observation and you told me that I’m wrong. End of discussion. If you don’t think I’m right, then I must not be. It’s fine. It’s your life, after all. It doesn’t affect me except when you have a bad date and end up here drinking our beer and sleeping on our couch so you don’t have to drive home.”
She made me sound kind of pathetic, which I certainly wasn’t. I was a highly successful entrepreneur who was popular with the opposite sex. The only reason I sat home on a Friday or Saturday night was because I wanted to. Not because I had to.
“Well…good. I didn’t want to argue with you.”
“Same here.”
“Being single doesn’t bother me at all.” For some reason, words were coming out of my mouth and I couldn’t seem to stop them. “In fact, I was thinking about not dating for a little while. Just enjoying being single for a few months. Hang out with my friends.”
Like Mia, for example.
Stop thinking about Mia.
Luke’s gaze had returned to the television. The teams were back on the field for the second half.
“Sounds like a good idea.”
Pushing Mia out of my brain, the idea was beginning to grow on me. Not having to worry about anyone else sounded like heaven. I was always making compromises when dating about restaurants and movies and television shows. It would be good to just be alone for awhile. Do whatever I wanted to do.
“So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to take a break from women for a month.”
I’d been dating since I was fifteen. A break sounded like just what I needed. The women would still be there in thirty days. I was single and definitely not on the prowl.
One month of just me. It was going to be great.
CHAPTER TEN
Mia
There hadn’t been this much activity in my condo since Ashlyn’s thirtieth birthday party. An epic evening that few of us could remember in its entirety. We only knew that the next morning we all felt like we had been hit by a truck.
Emmy, Ashlyn, and of course Shelby were pacing back and forth in my living room going on and on about how I could have been killed.
As if I didn’t know that. My blood pressure had to still be sky high from the evening’s events.
I pressed against my pounding temples with my fingertips. “Could you please sit down? I’ve got a horrible headache and all of you bouncing off of the walls isn’t helping me.”
All three of them froze but Emmy, bless her, immediately strode toward my kitchen. “I’ll get you some ibuprofen. Is it still in the drawer?”
“Yes,” I called to her retreating figure. “Bring two. And a whiskey. It’s in the cabinet over the sink.”
Shelby shook her head. “You can’t drink alcohol and take pain medication. It’s not good for your liver function.”
My sister could not be serious. This wasn’t just any old run of the mill kind of Saturday night.
“Are you saying that I have to choose between alcohol and a couple of ibuprofen?”
“Yes. I don’t want to have to take you to the emergency room tonight.”
Emmy returned, juggling a water bottle, a highball glass of whiskey, and two tablets. I pointed to Shelby as Emmy dumped the items on the coffee table in front of me.
“Miss I’m-not-that-kind-of-doctor says I have to choose between booze and pills. I choose booze.”
I reached for the glass bu
t of course my interfering sister couldn’t let me have a breakdown in peace. She was still being pissy because I wouldn’t let her call Mom and Dad until the morning. I couldn’t take my mother tonight. I loved her but she would simply be far more than I could handle in my current state.
“Don’t,” she scolded, giving my hand a light slap. After the night I’d had she was lucky she didn’t get a smack in return. A heck of a lot harder. “Alcohol is not the answer.”
“What is the answer, Dr. Kelly? Therapy? Would you use Freud or Jung?”
Her expression softened and she sat down next to me on the couch, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Usually I liked hugs and physical expressions of affection but for some reason I couldn’t tolerate it tonight. I scooted away, not wanting anyone near me. This was the reason I didn’t want my parents here right now.
“You do need to talk to someone about this,” Shelby said softly. “If not me, then another licensed professional. You could have post-traumatic stress from this. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal tonight.”
My sister had a firm grasp of the obvious.
“I know,” I said loudly, hopping up from the couch. I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. Every sense seemed sharpened. The colors were brighter, the smells more acute. I could feel the fabric of the couch under my fingertips. If an ant walked across the table I bet I would have been able to feel it. “I was the one there, remember? I was the one that had that gun pointed at my chest. And I said that if I survived–”
I broke off, suddenly realizing that there were three pairs of eyes staring at me, listening to every word I said.
“You made a deal?” Ashlyn asked. “What kind of deal?”
They were going to find out anyway because I was a different person now. I’d changed during those tense minutes in the convenience store. I was kind of surprised they couldn’t see it. I felt like I’d just been given a second chance.
Tempt Him Page 5