Tempt Him

by Jaymes, Olivia

  “That’s right, Luke. Better get on that,” I said, elbowing my brother. “What are you and Rachel waiting for?”

  “You’re the oldest. I’m waiting on you.”

  Steve’s expression turned serious and for the first time that day I could definitely see that he was sizing me up. “What about you, Josh? Do you want kids someday?”

  “Yes, sir. I do.”

  “But you’re not in a hurry.”

  It was a statement, not a question. So technically, I could say nothing but I kind of got the feeling that he and the others expected me to respond.

  “I think it’s more up to the female than the male. After all, her life is thrown into chaos. She should probably make the final decision.”

  I’d apparently answered correctly because Steve smiled. “That’s true but don’t underestimate just how much your life will change, son. Everything will be different. Mark my words.”

  I was ready for different.

  * * *

  Mia

  The next day I went Black Friday shopping with the girls. I wasn’t much into the whole shop till you drop mentality but luckily none of us really cared if we bought anything. It was more about just getting together, eating lunch, and swapping Thanksgiving stories. We ended up at a restaurant a few miles from the mall but it was still busy with patrons enjoying the long weekend.

  We were halfway through our entrees when there was a lull in the conversation. The time had come.

  “I heard from the teacher exchange program. I was accepted.”

  Everyone started talking at once, loud and excited, until Ashlyn placed her hands over her ears. “Can we keep it down? People are starting to look.”

  Shelby glanced around the room and grimaced. “Sorry. I’m just excited. This is so cool. Where would you go?”

  “Scotland.”

  Clapping her hands together, Emmy smiled. “I have always wanted to visit Scotland. I am definitely coming out to see you.”

  “Start from the beginning,” Ashlyn said. “You opened this in your mail this morning… Tell us everything.”

  As succinctly as possible, I outlined the details. Where I would be going and when. The fact was I didn’t have all that much information and wouldn’t until I accepted the exchange.

  “You haven’t accepted it yet?” Ashlyn asked, a frown on her face. “But you’re going to, right?”

  “There’s no one in the office to take my call. It’s a holiday,” I pointed out. “And yes, I’m pretty sure that I’m going to accept it.”

  “Pretty sure,” Emmy echoed. “But not completely sure?”

  “I want to go. It’s just…”

  “Josh,” Emmy finished for me. “What did he say? Was he an asshole?”

  “I haven’t told him yet.”

  All three women went silent. This was a first. None of my friends knew what to say. I’ll write this down in my diary.

  “No advice? I’m disappointed in you most of all, Shelby. You live for this shit.”

  “I’m still trying to process that you’ll be gone during all of the wedding preparations. I thought you were going to be there for me.”

  “You get one day,” Ashlyn said, holding up one finger. “One. You’re not a princess. You don’t even play one on TV.”

  “You are not the center of the universe, sunshine,” Emmy said with an evil smile. “Not even close. You cannot ask your sister to stay here because you need her to pick out wedding crap. Geez, have you heard of the internet? She can do it from Scotland.”

  “I said I was processing it,” Shelby replied crisply. “I didn’t say that she shouldn’t go.”

  “So you think she should go?” Emmy pressed.

  “You should go,” Shelby said, turning back to me. “This is an amazing opportunity for you and you’d be crazy to pass it up.”

  She was saying words I wanted to hear but did she mean them? I wanted to go but not at the expense of alienating my only sister.

  “What about the wedding planning?”

  Shelby shot Emmy a look. “As I’ve been reminded we’re pretty much done. We’ve done so much the last two months that the only thing left is the wedding favors and Emmy and Ashlyn can help me with that. The dress, the venue, the band, the cake, even the photographer is all set. You’ve been more help than I ever could have imagined, especially since Brad was no help at all. I’m just going to miss you, that’s all. I kind of like having you around.”

  “What have you done with my sister?” I asked Emmy. “It’s almost like she’s being reasonable.”

  Shelby rolled her eyes and Emmy laughed so hard she had to hold her ribs. “She normally is when she isn’t thinking about four-tiered cakes.”

  “Apparently I’m not the center of the universe,” Shelby said in a tart tone. “That was a huge letdown for me.”

  “I’ll bet it was. Now that I’ve told you, I still have to tell Josh.”

  All the smiles disappeared, replaced with far more sober expressions.

  “What do you think he’ll do?” Ashlyn asked. “If he asks you to stay, will you do it?”

  “I’ve been asking myself that same question since yesterday morning,” I confessed. “I want to go but I want Josh, too. I’m just not sure that I can have both of them.”

  “It’s not forever,” Shelby declared. “He could come visit. He owns his own business, for heaven’s sake. It’s not like he doesn’t have the vacation time or the money. He’s all modest but his company is extremely successful.”

  I’d had the same thought. I’d love for the two of us to explore the country together.

  “I don’t think he’s ever compromised for anyone before,” I said, my heart heavy and my appetite gone. “He’s always put his career before anything. Or anyone.”

  “You want him to put you first,” Ashlyn said.

  “Yes, but maybe that’s not realistic. Maybe that’s too much to ask for.”

  “No,” Emmy said firmly. “It is not, so get that idea out of your head once and for all. Of course, it’s not too much. You said it yourself…you deserve better.”

  That’s what I believed. But as a child I’d believed in unicorns too, and that hadn’t turned out well.

  “I want him and the trip.”

  Ashlyn signaled the waitress. “First, we need to toast your acceptance. Then we need to think about this. You two have been really happy lately. I mean disgustingly so, like making everybody around you want to gag. Surely, Josh loves you enough to want to support you in this.”

  “I want to trust him,” I replied slowly. “I want to believe that he will, it’s just that I’ve seen him walk away from relationship after relationship, and for dumb stuff, too. He always had a reason but it didn’t always make much sense. This might just be the reason to end things that he’s been looking for.”

  “You had Thanksgiving dinner with him and his family yesterday,” Emmy reasoned. “That’s not a man looking for an escape chute. It’s a man shopping for engagement rings.”

  “I seriously doubt that.”

  Josh had never mentioned marriage much in all the years I’d known him except on the rare occasion that he’d be asked about it. Then he usually made a joke about not being in any hurry. I wasn’t in a hurry either, but lately I’d begun to think that it might be nice. Someday down the road. That might just be the hopeless romantic in me, though.

  “I see it every day,” Emmy insisted. “Every single day. He’s a man in love.”

  I didn’t doubt our love. I could see and feel it as if it was a tangible thing.

  Shelby placed her fork on the edge of her plate. “Mia, you are not bound by any promises you made while having a gun pointed at your heart. I get that you have this new outlook on life but it’s okay if you decide that you don’t want to go to Scotland. It’s okay if you want to stay here. No one will think any less of you.”

  “That’s not it,” I said, shaking my head. “I do want to go. That moment did change me and I can’t go back
to who I was before. I can’t go back to waiting for my life to happen, being passive. I’m happy that I’ve changed, but it’s not always easy. It’s hard not to slide into old habits that weren’t good for me.”

  My sister smiled and reached across the table to grab my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Then you have your answer.”

  I did, although I’d made it as difficult as possible to get there. I wanted this, and if Josh wanted me he had to want the person that I had become. I had to gather my strength and extend trust to the man I loved.

  I was worth waiting for. I was worth being placed first every now and then. The only open question was if I’d fallen in love with a man that could do that.

  All those years of loving Josh had come down to this.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Josh

  “Did you have fun with the girls today?” I asked Mia when she showed up at my house for dinner. We’d planned to just order in and have a quiet night.

  While I had toiled at the office, she’d spent the day with her friends shopping. I’d texted her a few times but hadn’t heard much. They must have been having a great time, although Mia only had a few bags. Was there something in there for me? She’d been hinting around all week without coming right out and asking me what I wanted for Christmas.

  “It was exhausting. So many people. The mall was a zoo. We ended up eating lunch and talking.”

  I waggled my eyebrows playfully. “Did you get me anything?”

  “You’re worse than a kid,” Mia scolded, shaking a finger at me. “You can bet that I’m hiding your gift until the last minute. I know that you snoop.”

  I did snoop. I loved the excitement and the surprises but my curiosity always got the better of me. The next thing I knew I was digging in closets for hidden gifts. I’m not proud of it…

  “I’m going to pour myself a glass of wine. Do you want a beer?”

  “That sounds good. I worked on finalizing the storyboard today. It’s officially in the next phase of the project.”

  Mia handed me a cold bottle and then sat down at the kitchen island, her expression somber. “That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. It’s going to be a great success.”

  “I’d believe you except that you look like your hamster died. Where’s that smile I love so much? Is something wrong?”

  Perhaps she and Shelby had butted heads again. From what I’d been hearing, the future bride was becoming a pain in the ass. Very unShelby-like.

  Mia took a sip of her wine and then shook her head. “Actually, I have good news, too. I heard from the teacher exchange program. They’ve accepted me.”

  Elated at the news, I zipped around the corner of the island and pulled her into a hug before pressing a kiss to those tempting lips. She tasted like wine and the mint in her lip gloss. “Baby, that’s amazing. You must be so excited.”

  Or she should be. This was something she’d wanted and now she was getting it. But she wasn’t happy and smiling like she should be.

  “Did they offer you a terrible destination?” I asked, sliding onto the bar stool next to hers. “Do they want to send you to a place where it’s snowing all year long?”

  Intently studying her glass, she wouldn’t look at me. Not a good sign. A bar of dread began to build in my gut. “It’s Scotland, actually. And I’d leave in January.”

  January. The word hung in the air for a long moment, slowly penetrating my brain. January. That wasn’t that far away. Just a little over a month. I’d been prepared for September but this was something of a surprise.

  “This January?”

  “Yes.” She finally looked up, our gazes clashing. “I want to accept it, Josh.”

  Of course, she did. That’s what all of this was about. I just wasn’t quite prepared for her to go so soon but I’d better get my shit together. “You should. Accept it, I mean.”

  Did she think I was going to ask her to stay? I was a bastard but not that kind of bastard. We’d work it out somehow. This was what she’d wanted and I’d be a jerk to try and stop her.

  “I’ll be gone through July.”

  “I assumed that.”

  Something was going on here. I could hear the warning bells in my skull but I didn’t know exactly what was happening inside of that beautiful head of hers.

  “So I would understand if you don’t want to continue this. I understand that you may not want to wait.”

  What was she talking about? Was she breaking up with me? No, she thought I was going to break up with her. She didn’t have a clue.

  I loved Mia but there were times I had no idea how her mind worked. She’d twisted all of this up into a tangled mess, and she was beginning to piss me off. My grip on the beer bottle tightened as I gritted my teeth. What in the fuck was happening here?

  “You’re okay with us ending things?”

  Her eyes widened and she took another drink of her wine. Apparently, she needed the alcohol. I – on the other hand – was stone cold sober and getting angrier by the second. She didn’t know what she thought she knew.

  “Well…obviously I’m not happy about it, but I get that seven months is a long time.” Her little chin lifted and her expression became almost defiant. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time and I can’t pass up this opportunity, Josh. Not even for you.”

  Christ on a cracker, she’d actually thought I would tell her not to go. I didn’t like her lack of trust in me. Not one bit.

  Reining in my anger, I took a deep calming breath. Yelling wasn’t going to get us anywhere.

  “I’m not happy with you, Mia.”

  “I know–”

  “You don’t know shit,” I interrupted. “I’m not upset because you’ve decided to accept the invitation. I’m happy for you. Of course, I’m upset because you’ll be gone. That’s a no brainer, baby. But I’m more upset that you didn’t trust me. You automatically went straight to the worst-case scenario. That we’re over. You don’t believe in me, or us.”

  The old Mia would have stayed calm and accepted my critique. But this new feisty Mia wasn’t going to take any of my crap. Damn, I loved her. Her cheeks were red and her green eyes practically shot sparks at me. Slapping her hand on the table, Mia moved closer to me so that we were almost nose to nose. “I did so believe in us. I believed in you. I sure as hell hoped you loved me enough and that’s why I told you. If I didn’t believe in us I would have quietly turned down the invitation and said nothing to you. You never would have known and I would have stayed here like a good little girl. But I didn’t do that. Asshole.”

  I didn’t know whether to laugh or yell. She’d called me an asshole. So naturally, too. How often had she called me that when I wasn’t around? Because it sure slid off her tongue easily. “Did you actually think about not going? And I’m not an asshole.”

  “Yes,” she said, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. “I did. But I also knew that I couldn’t change the person that I’ve become for you. And sometimes you can be an asshole.”

  I couldn’t argue that point. My friends and family wouldn’t argue it, either.

  I deserve better.

  I remembered her saying it. Now she was living it, which made me proud. It still hurt, however, that she’d thought I might not be supportive.

  “What made you think I wouldn’t be happy for you? That we couldn’t work this out?”

  For a moment I didn’t think she was going to answer. She’d turned away and slid off of the barstool, walking over to the windows. Finally she looked back, her cheeks damp with tears. Shit, I’d made her cry. I really was an asshole.

  “You’ve never been the kind of guy that was in for the long haul with a woman. You’ve always put your work first and relationships second.”

  I wanted to tell her that she was wrong but she wasn’t. I wanted to tell her that she was being delusional but she’d pretty much nailed it. I wasn’t the man that women could depend on when the going got rough. That’s when I usually made my exit… If we e
ver got there to begin with.

  I’d been trying to show Mia that she was different but two months wasn’t the longest time. Clearly it hadn’t been enough to show her I’d changed.

  My anger slowly ebbed away. What a fucking mess this was. I was proud of Mia. She’d stood up for what she’d wanted but the fact that she’d thought she might have to choose between me and her dreams was sad. I would never make her do that.

  Words were cheap. She needed actions to show her how I felt.

  Slowly, so as not to spook her, I moved until we were close enough that I could feel the heat from her body and smell the delicious scent that was all Mia. She was looking up at me, obviously still on edge. Her shoulders were rigid and her lips trembling but I could see the love and hope she couldn’t hide.

  “When a man’s in love, he wants his woman to have everything she’s dreamed of. He doesn’t want to stand in the way of those dreams. I love you. Do you love me?”

  * * *

  Mia

  Of course, I loved him. This wouldn’t be difficult if I didn’t.

  “I love you. You know that.”

  With a fingertip, he traced the curve of my jaw. Just his touch had me melting, and I closed my eyes to savor the sensation. My knees turned to jelly and I had to grip the wall to keep from falling in a heap at his feet.

  “I know that I haven’t given you many reasons to trust that I’m sticking around but please believe me when I say that spending the rest of my life with you is what’s most important to me. Did you know that I was already planning a beach vacation for the two of us when school ends?”

  Opening my eyes, his soft blue gaze was filled with love and adoration. “I didn’t know that.”

  “You probably also didn’t know that I was planning on proposing then, too.”

  I sucked in a shocked breath, searching his expression for any sign of joking. Was he serious? He wanted to marry me? Holy shit.

  “I’m totally serious,” he said, reading my mind perfectly. “I was planning it. I guess now I’ll have to do it in Scotland.”

  My brain was still back on the whole proposal thing.