"Oh, God Liam," I cried. Every ounce of me was done. I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't as strong as I thought I was and the pain in my chest hurt ten times worse than it hurt six years prior on my front porch. "I'm sorry… I'm— Excuse me." I pushed my way away from the crowd and out to the parking lot.
Shit, it was such a terrible idea.
CHAPTER 9
LIAM
Shit. I wasn't expecting that. I didn't really know what I expected, but it wasn't for her to cry and storm off. So what'd I do? The same thing I'd done most of our lives, I went after her.
"Ry!" I called out, jogging behind her.
What the hell was I going to say to her? I shouldn't have followed her, but something inside couldn't stand letting her run off like that and no one go after her.
"Go back inside, Liam."
"Ryley, just fuckin' wait a minute!"
"Why? What is so important that you would walk out of your own grandma's funeral?!"
I didn't know, and I was starting to regret it every second.
"You're upset!" I gestured to her like her question was stupid. But it wasn't, she had a valid point. We hadn't seen each other in years; I'd made it obvious I wanted nothing to do with her. Why was I going after her?
She was still the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, except she was a woman now. All her curves were filled in. The only difference was how tired she looked. I figured maybe she just hadn't slept well the night before. She was obviously upset about Gram. It made me feel good she was upset because I wasn't sure if she would be, because she'd changed a hell of a lot since we were kids. That much was obvious when she killed my baby.
"I just want to.... Hell, I don't know." I looked away from her because staring into her glistening blue eyes brought back so many memories. Good, bad, memories that haunted me for years since I left the Podunk town.
"I don't know why you would care that I'm upset, Liam. I'm fine, I'll be fine, don't worry about me."
"I don't care!" I screamed the lie at her.
"I've realized that."
"Fuck, Ryley. How can you just stand there, looking at me like I'm a fucking monster! You! You killed my future! You did this, not me. I fucking love you. LOVED! I fucking loved you and you crushed all that because you were afraid. Why were you so fucking afraid? Had I ever failed you before? Had I ever let anything happen to you? I protected you since we were kids. Fuck! This is not what I wanted to deal with today. Shit. Just shit!" I put my hands on top of my head and looked up to the sky, wondering if Gage and Gram could see us, wondering what the hell Gage would do. Would he laugh at me or would he tell me to get out of there, Ryley would never be the girl she used to be. Would Gram frown and tell me she just worries about me and that Ryley had always cared about us boys. The typical shit she'd say without answering for someone else.
"Eh!" I heard an unfamiliar voice bellow from my left and I slightly turned to see a gumpy asshole in a wrinkled shirt stomping my way. "Stay the fuck away from my girl!" he snapped, shoving me back and snatching Ryley's arm, tugging her behind him.
My brows furrowed and my fists clenched. "Ryley?" I growled, ready to take the motherfucker down.
"I said stay away from her. She don't wanna talk to you. You ain't got nothin' to say to her. Get your ass inside and say goodbye to your dead."
I sprung forward, but before I could cock back, Ryley jumped in front of him.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Liam. I am. Just... just go inside." She tugged the gump away so fast he almost tripped.
He growled something at her, jerking her arm a little so she'd stop pulling him and I almost lost it again.
"Liam!" Dana called from the doors, distracting me. "What's wrong?" She ran to me like there was a fire inside; her arms went around my neck. "What's going on?"
I turned my head to see Ryley again, but she was already in the car and the asshole was driving. Ryley was turned in the seat, staring out the window at me, seeing Dana in my arms. Fuck. I don't know why it mattered, but, for some reason, I didn't want her to see that.
The second I got back inside, I found her parents.
"Mr., Mrs. Reynolds." I nodded, not giving a fuck I'd just interrupted them from talking to the pastor.
"Liam, where's Ryley?" Mrs. Reynolds looked around worriedly.
"Some ass—" I stopped and rubbed the back of my neck. "She left with a man with black hair, Mrs. Reynolds. Who is that? That's her boyfriend?" I was almost shocked and you could tell by my tone. Ryley was too pretty for that greasy asshole.
"Liam, honey, I think you need to sit down with Ryley."
"No," I snapped, shaking my head. "No. I'm sorry, Mrs. Reynolds, no disrespect, but nothing's changed, and Ryley made that obvious today." I sighed and dropped my head, knowing I needed to calm down. That wasn't the place to let Ryley get to me like she always did.
"I'm sorry you feel that way," she said so softly and with so much pain in her voice I had to look up at her again.
"Where's your little boy?" I glanced around, hoping a subject change would cool everything down.
She cocked her eyebrow then looked to Mr. Reynolds. He put his arm around her shoulders and tugged her a little closer.
"Son, I think you and Ryley need to have a sit down."
It took a second for it all to sink in. No. No fucking way. She didn't. She fucking killed my baby then had that slimy motherfucker's baby!
"Mr. Reynolds." My voice cracked so I stopped.
"Son." His hand went to my shoulder. "It's not up to us to tell you what's goin' on in Ryley's life. You need to speak with her."
I left. Just stormed out like it wasn't my Gram's funeral. Stormed out like I was at a sporting event and trying to beat traffic.
Dana was the last thing on my mind, so when she called I almost didn't answer, then I remember I'd left her at the funeral home. I had to go back, I knew that, but I was scared. That was the only feeling that was coursing through me. Fear. I didn't know what I was afraid of, I think the brewing anger was just festering at fear in that moment.
When I wandered back into the funeral home the first thing I noticed was The Reynolds were gone, and I was glad for it.
"Liam! Where'd you go?" Aunt Hope asked with such worry it made me think she might have actually cared.
"I needed some air." I pulled Dana to a corner and took her hand, re-planning my whole life. Planning it for something I didn't want at all, but Ryley moved on. Had some asshole's kid. I would do the fucking same. Live until my time was up, just be happy to breathe day to day and fuck the rest. I'd been doing that, but I think part of me kept an availability for the possibility of Ryley, but that option was suddenly gone.
"Liam, let me get you a beer, or twelve." Nick chuckled, patting my shoulder.
I looked at my pocket watch seeing I'd been there since eight that morning and it was going on six, the viewing was ending at six. I agreed and found Aunt Hope.
"I'll see you early in the morning," I told her, kissing her cheek.
We were putting Gram in the ground at nine the next morning, no big production, just me and Aunt Hope and I was hoping Megan would come, but I wasn't able to get ahold of her.
The night was becoming more of a blur and I couldn't tell you how many drinks I had. All I remember is it was closer to maybe nine when I knew the night was going to end in the worst way possible.
I had Dana in my lap, a beer in my hand, and we were laughing with my old high school friends. They'd all come to the bar, and they were all feeding me drinks.
"Aw shit," someone muttered, and I turned my head in the direction most of them were looking.
A leggy brunette was bent over, picking up what looked like the contents of her purse. Her shiny brown hair was hanging in her face and her ass was up in the hair while she fumbled with her things. Her fuck me heels were asking me, and I was drunk so I was going to answer. I shifted Dana off my lap, yeah I was drunk enough to where I was at the asshole phase. Standing, I finished my beer and he
aded toward the body that wanted me on it all night.
"Need some help?" I casually asked, bending to help her.
She just froze and turned her head. I looked into her eyes and closed my own, realizing what the 'aw shit' comment was all about. I just thought whoever said it was checking out the hot girl. How did I not know it was Ryley? I'll tell you how. She was in a tight, short skirt and fuck me heels! That wasn't Ryley, but damn if my body didn't want that Ryley worse than I'd ever wanted her.
I chuckled and stood. "Maybe your boyfriend or husband, whoever that fuck-face was earlier, can help you." And I wandered away, right back to my table and grabbed Dana's drink.
I shoulda left, but fuck that, I was drunk and had every reason to get trashed. Three different people suggested we leave, but I refused. I laughed long and hard when I realized she was actually working at that shit hole bar.
"Eh!" I called out, snapping my fingers toward the bar. "Bar bitch. Do your fuckin' job. We need drinks."
"Liam," Dana quietly said while placing her hand on my knee.
"What? The bitch sucks at her job."
"I'm gonna go up. What do you want, Porter?" Nick asked me.
"No." I slammed my hand on the table. "Make that bitch work for her money." I'd had way too much to drink and kept telling myself that, yet I didn't shut my damn mouth.
"Liam, dude, take it easy. Let's just leave."
I glowered at Anthony a minute then stormed up to the bar.
"Can I get some help?" It was only Ryley and another woman working, which I found stupid, but the bar wasn't that packed.
"Just a minute," the girl that'd been helping us since six had said.
"Not you, sweetheart." I turned my gaze onto Ryley. "Hey, whore, can I get some service?"
I heard the sharp inhale of breath she took. I watched her face fall. I noticed when her muscles tightened. But when she turned to look at me, I wasn't expecting that look on her face. She wasn't pissed, she was fucking broken.
"Hey, back off, buddy. You can't talk to my girls like that. Either sit your ass at your table or get the fuck out of here!" The busty brunette that had been serving us bitched at me.
I wasn't quite done yet, even though I kept telling myself to just shut the fuck up. I wanted to watch her shatter like I finally did when Mr. Reynolds told me she had that gumpy asshole's kid, but killed mine.
"Ryley," I dragged out her name in a taunting way. "Having that fucktard's kid screw up the brain in that head of yours? Can I get a beer?"
"Leave, Liam," she spoke quietly and it only made me laugh.
"Or what? What're you gonna do? You gonna call your asshole husband? Where's he at anyway? Home with the kid?" I leaned on the bar to get closer to her, to be more menacing, but her smell hit me and I stumbled back a little when I felt my heart start to pound in my chest. "So tell me, is it just a Porter child you couldn't handle? It wasn't enough you killed Gage? You had to kill my daughter too?" I chuckled with a shake of my head. "Everyone know what you did?" I spoke louder. "Does everyone know you murdered my baby?" Now I was just getting angry, no longer feeling satisfaction from tormenting her. I was just pissed. "Does everyone know you killed any chance I had at real happiness then you opened your whore legs for a piece of shit redneck and squirted out a kid for him? Huh, Ryley? Does everyone know that?" I yelled looking around the bar. "Ryley Reynolds is a whore!" I pointed at her, still looking around the bar. "I fucked her in the back seat of her Focus and got her pregnant and what'd she fucking do?" I turned back to face Ryley and I saw the anger brewing in her pretty eyes that I never wanted to see again. "What'd you do Ry? Huh? You killed it. You killed my little girl then you got knocked up by some piece of shit, uneducated, scum. You shoulda aborted that little boy, Ry. He's only going to suffer with a mother like you and a redneck father like that," I seethed, wishing I never started my drunken rant.
RYLEY
I made it in late to work because of the fight I had with Carl on the way home. I was still shaking from seeing Liam with that woman hugging all over him. Who the hell was that? Was he married? I couldn't stop shaking. He hated me so much it physically hurt. Carl kept screaming at me, telling me I shouldn't have left his side at the funeral. I never left his side; he walked away from me when we got there. I didn't care that he was pissed; I was going to break it off with him after work anyway. He was starting to get out of hand and I didn't want my son to be introduced to that side of Carl.
We got home and I threw on my outfit for work. I hated it, it was so skimpy and tiny, but it got me the tips. Carl was still pissed when we got there so he didn't get out of the car or tell me goodbye. It was a good thing, too, because he would have flipped if he saw my outfit that night. Bartenders dressed skimpy for the tips and I needed all the tips I could get if I was ever going to get out of that place and into a home with a yard for Able. After the funeral home, I was seriously considering leaving with Able and never going back to that town.
I couldn't find the regular shoes I wore and I didn't really have any other options in my closet other than a pair of chucks and flip flops. Running into Jenny's room, I grabbed a pair of heels and booked it out the door before I was fired for being so late. Annie, the manager on duty that night, was helping seat tables and wait since Vanessa didn't show up for her shift. I knew she was already short staffed and I was just making it harder on her.
Parking my car, the lot wasn't too packed but there were enough cars there to keep a steady flow all night. I ran through the door, not paying attention to where I was going and hit the counter with my purse, making it fling out of my arms and its contents spill all over.
"Shit," I mumbled. Trying my hardest to bend down modestly in my short skirt to throw everything back into my purse. I knew he was there the minute I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself before standing up.
"Need some help?" his voice purred so close to me if I turned my head just a little bit, his face would have been inches away. God, that smell. It was intoxicating, and for a minute I thought about reaching over and kissing him.
My hair was still hanging over my face so he hadn't realized it was me he was talking so sweetly to. I pushed my hair behind my ear and turned to look at him. His eyes were glazed over drunk and when my eyes hit his, he backed away. Suddenly the cool demeanor from when he was acting Mr. Sweet was replaced by pure anger.
When he started in on me, I tried to ignore him, knowing he was drunk. I had worked with enough drunks in my time that I knew how to handle them. At some point he was going to stop and go home to pass out.
When he started in on his idea that Able was Carl's son, I had to stop myself from screaming that he wasn't. That he was really Liam's child, but Liam didn't want anything to do with us. It wasn't the time or place to inform that man that he had a child. The more he went on, the more he yelled at me, belittled me, and dragged me through the mud, the more I didn't want to tell him the truth. I thought Carl was bad, but Liam was even worse. Who was the man standing in front of me that day? Why had he become he so hateful?
I was holding it together, waiting for him to finish. I tried telling him to go home, I tried ignoring it, but he wasn't stopping. When he announced to the bar that I killed his baby, everything inside of me broke. I couldn't tell him Able was his. The man truly believed that I was a whore who would marry Carl and have his kid so soon after having my heart ripped out by the only person I'd ever truly loved. How many times in someone's life could they be broken by the same person before they stopped caring? Liam had just answered that question for me. All of the rage, all of the anger and hate that had built up those last six years snapped out of me.
"Fuck you Liam Porter!" I screamed, not caring I was on the clock and could very well be fired.
He smiled his killer smile, the smile that took my heart out and stomped on it plenty of times before. I threw a glass at his head, missing by inches. The bar fell quiet as the glass shattered against the wall behind him.
"You don't fucki
ng know what I've been through," I growled at him. "You, ASSHOLE, left me all alone in this fucking dump of a town!"
"Hey.... Ry, you need to cool it off," Annie said and tried pulling me into the back so I couldn't keep the fight going. Shit no, I was ready.
"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT!" I screamed and flung her arm off of me, storming towards Liam.
He hadn't moved since I threw the glass at him. He was so drunk it wouldn't have surprised me if he hadn't heard anything I was screaming, but I didn't care. I went on; spitting hate at the man I spent the last six years praying would come back to me.
"You!...You cock sucking asshole! Walking back into my life after six years of ignoring me and think you can have an opinion about things?! Hey Everyone! I know you are all so GODDAMNED happy the heavenly Porter child is back in town, but did he ever tell you I tried?! I fucking tried! A motherfucking year, Liam!" I pushed his chest and he stumbled backwards into Nick's lap. "Get up, asshole! You wanted a fight, you got one!" I yelled at his sorry ass, too drunk to even stand up.
"Ry.... Jesus, look at you," he slurred his mumbled speech. "Even your outfit screams whore. I'm fuckin' surprised you don't have more kids by now with how slutty you look," he dragged on.
I slapped him across the face, seething that he would talk to me like that.
"Ryley, maybe you should calm down, you know he's had a few too many," Nick said to me, trying to get Liam to stand on his own.
"Shut up, Nick, do NOT defend him!" Turning to the bar, I continued my rant, knowing full well he wouldn't understand the next words, but everyone else in there would. "You all know how it goes, right? Guy gets a girl pregnant, shit happens and he leaves to find some busty, ditzy bitch in a new town and decides he's too good for that small town girl he loved?! Am I right?! Well I tried my hardest to get a hold of him! The only time he answered, the ONLY time he heard my voice in the last five years, I had a screaming BABY in the background... and he FUCKING HUNG UP!"
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