Dirty Deeds

by R. J. Blain

  “Yes, please make me your slave. I’ll be good.”

  “You’re impossible.”

  “I’m a good catch, I promise.”

  My virus certainly thought he was a prize. “Behave, please. At least behave long enough to get through the paperwork without me wanting to kill you with it.”

  He sat and gestured for me to join him. At my virus’s pleading, begging, and otherwise reducing herself to a lusty menace, I obeyed, picking the armchair so I wouldn’t be tempted to sit closer than I should—or take a hit of the low-grade pixie dust to become a cuddling monster.

  I bet I could con my virus into behaving if I appeased her with some clothed cuddling.

  “I modified the paperwork accounting for our discussions last night, but now that I have more information to work with, I’m willing to write in some clauses to help make you as comfortable as possible with the arrangement.” Pulling out a thick stack of papers, he placed them in front of me. “Yes, the contract is really long. I’m sorry about that, but it includes the lycanthropy exposure waivers for living in the same building with known lycanthropes. You’re likely used to the other version of this waiver.”

  “The one that promises the CDC will skin me should I expose anyone living in the same complex with me? Also, that I’m barred from having a non-lycanthrope roommate? Yeah, I’m used to that waiver.”

  “You’ll be pleased to know that I have authorization from the CDC to have a mixed residency, so we do have the uninfected in our building, and their waiver covers any accidental or intentional exposure.” Wayne sorted through the documents and pulled out several sheets. “When I prepared this, I did so assuming you were uninfected but authorized to work closely with lycanthropes. I do have a copy of the standard lycanthrope waiver with me, as it’s one of my most commonly needed documents. I’ll have you sign both, and it’s a single form away to make the necessary adjustments. The CDC will forgive my overindulgence in paperwork once they are notified that I hadn’t inquired on your infection status as it’s not a requirement for my tenants.”

  “That’s nice,” I admitted, reading through the waiver he handed me, which cleared Wayne of all wrongdoing should someone become infected while living in his apartments due to the activities of resident lycanthropes. The waiver also transferred all liability to the lycanthrope or the human responsible for the infection. I fought my grin at the half page notice regarding tenants engaging in sexual activities with each other. “Is that really an issue?”

  “Male lycanthropes have a reputation. That reputation brings interested women to the complex fairly often. Guests are required to sign waivers regarding their risk of infection. It’s not uncommon for a male to charm a human female with the promise of the best sex of her life.”

  “There are really women who will bond to someone for life just for good sex?”

  “Not just good sex, Joyce. The best sex of her life. Repeated as many times as she would like. For the record, that’s a very good way to end up with many children. Most of the women in our pack were single ladies who were tired of being jerked around. Some were single moms who wanted fathers for their kids—reliable dads, that is. Most lycanthrope males would kill to protect a kid, and they don’t care whose kid it is. Once mated, a male considers all offspring of his mate’s to be his as well. It’s a part of pack culture. I wish I could help you with how you became a lycanthrope. That is not how most packs operate. We can be assholes, but at least in my pack, we treat our women well.”

  All I could do was take him at his word, and uncertain over the whole situation, I settled with a shrug. “My exposure to lycanthropes has been limited to an asshole in an alley, you, grumpy and hungry lycanthropes who typically don’t like waiting in line before gorging on their next meal, and those two idiots who trashed my car.”

  “With that selection of lycanthropes to base judgment on, it’s no wonder you’re skittish. I, of course, am a prime male specimen, and you may explore me however you see fit. The ladies are often curious.”

  My virus appreciated his offer, and she did the equivalent of drool while waiting for a free handout. I ignored them both, grabbed the entire stack of lease papers, and began the tedious process of reading how I’d be selling my soul to Wayne Barnes.

  The first page informed me I would be living in one of the luxury apartment buildings not too far from where I lived, allowing me to walk to work if I didn’t mind it taking an hour or two, assuming I wanted to walk to work, which I didn’t. However, the first unexpected addition bothered me, informing me I would actually have an additional residence in Massapequa. “I’m confused.”

  “That didn’t take long.”

  “There are two properties listed here.”

  “Yes, that’s correct.”

  “I am one person. Why would I need to have two properties on my lease?”

  “The house in Massapequa will allow you to retreat should the pack come visit the urban property. I figured that with your skittish nature around lycanthropes, you would appreciate being able to escape if you wanted to. Of course, I assumed that was more due to you being contagion risk rather than concern over how you’d been attacked. I’ll be responsible for driving you there, as I am aware of the pack schedule. That offer will still stand, although now that I’m aware you’re a hybrid, you can defend yourself against rowdy lycanthropes. View it as a safe house for your use whenever you want, and as I have it available, I am adding your name to the property so you can use it at your leisure. Should you decide to accept my employment offer, you’ll find both properties will have a home office available for your use. Those offices are detailed later in the paperwork.”

  “Why are you trying to offer so many perks?”

  “I really want you out of that dive and into somewhere nicer. When I was doing the calculations, I had the option of making sure you got to see the other side of what life can be like. This was my compromise with myself. Now that I know you’re a lycanthrope, I understand better why you were so damned stubborn about it.”

  “It’s hard to find a new place when you’re diseased and poor.”

  “I could tell you you’re not diseased and you’d argue with me to the death over it, wouldn’t you?”

  “While I’m grateful the virus saved me, I didn’t want the infection.”

  “Well, things will be better for you now. That much I can promise you. If you don’t integrate well with the pack, I’ll take care of driving you to and from the Massapequa property.”

  “I’ll have to get a new car.”

  “If you get a new car, I may not object to you driving yourself, especially should there be an unexpected pack meeting. Mostly, I like excuses to drive to Massapequa. It’s a nice area. There’s a beach in the backyard.”

  “That property has a beach in the backyard?”

  “It absolutely does have a beach in the backyard. Would you like to see some pictures?”

  “I’m going to need to get the pixie dust out and have a hit now, because if there is anything in this lease that bars me from moving into a house with a beach, I might finally reach my limit.” I got up, grabbed my purse, and sat down on the couch, no longer giving a shit if my virus conned me into cuddling with Wayne if it meant a house with a beach. I dug out the vials, found the one with my name in it, and scowled at my lack of anything to add it to. “Shit.”

  Laughing, Wayne got up and went to the television cabinet, opened a door, and revealed a mini fridge. He grabbed a bottle of water and brought it to me. “If you have that much of a problem with pixie dust, use only a sprinkling in water. A full vial might send you to the moon.”

  “I’ll need a trip into orbit if my dumb ass loses a beach house being stubborn.”

  “You’re not dumb. You’re cautious. There’s a major difference. You have a lot of good reasons to be afraid of male lycanthropes, and most lycanthropes you’ve met have been male. Had you even met one of the ladies before today?”

  I shook my head. “The CDC said
I’d pick fights.”

  “That’s entirely possible. The ladies get vicious over potential males, and until you’re used to handling pack affairs, you might react rather negatively to the other ladies, especially if there is a male you’re interested in. Ladies are pretty vicious about defending their turf. That is true even after mating, although a wise woman stays away from another woman’s man. The males tend to become rather willing to correct a wayward female, and it can become violent quickly.”

  “Great.” I followed his advice and tapped a small amount of the pixie dust into the water bottle before giving it a good shake. I chugged the entire bottle in one breath while Wayne watched with a raised brow.

  “While that kicks in, let’s go through the rest of the paperwork. I tried to make this as mutually beneficial as possible.”

  “Start with the part that’s beneficial with you. That way, if it’s a dealbreaker, I can take another hit of pixie dust and get over the disappointment while higher than a fucking kite.”

  Unlike a full hit of the dust, the little amount I’d sprinkled in my water allowed me to relax enough I snuggled into the soft couch, tucking my legs up while making sure my claws didn’t tear anything. I grabbed the papers and flipped through them in search of the dealbreaker.

  “I’m your landlord.”

  “Yeah, that’s pretty bad, but it’s not quite a dealbreaker. The beach makes up for the owner of the beach.”

  “The beach comes with a pier and a small boat, so you can head over to one of the islands if you’d like, too. If you want a jet ski or something like that, arrangements can be made. It’s nice to get away from the city sometimes.”

  “Sometimes,” I agreed.

  “When was the last time you got out of the city for a while?”

  “Good question. I was taking a side job.”

  “Did that involve kidnapping a stray lycanthrope, too?”

  “Usually, the CDC asks me to lure them into ambushes so law enforcement can nail them. It’s pretty safe that way. You got special treatment. Hell if I know why.”

  “You’re a single female hybrid. I’m a single male hybrid. This math is not all that difficult, Joyce. They probably noticed my attempts to get you to move out of your apartment, as singles like us are somewhat monitored. That you haven’t aggressively removed me from your turf was likely all the motivation they needed to poke their nose in our business. Also, because I’m a beta, even if you didn’t take an interest in me, I can integrate you into the pack. The CDC doesn’t like rogue females.”

  “But I haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “That’s why they’ve left you alone. You’re a victim, and they don’t like to make things worse for people in a bad spot. You wouldn’t be the first victim integrated into the pack, so that’s probably why you were assigned my bounty. Now, that said, I’d really like to know who wants me out of town for a while and why. I don’t mind being out of town for a while. Your virus is going to have you on my lap in about five minutes, I thought you’d like to know. Your eyes have changed color, and that’s usually a good sign your virus is spiking to hell.”

  To my surprise, the pixie dust hadn’t quite kicked on my virus’s need to cuddle. Being cozy, warm, and safe had settled her down, giving me space to read over the papers. “What color?”

  “They were greener before, now they’re closer to an amber or brown.”

  “The green or blue is her. The brown is more me. Well, yellow hazel. That’s my natural eye color. She’s usually green, but the blue can show more in the right light.”

  “Wait. Your virus is always spiking? Your eyes have always been blue, Joyce. Or green, I guess?”

  “Right. The CDC says it’s because of how I was infected. She’s always on guard, so she’s really active. She’s settled right now.”

  “That’s basically the opposite of what I was expecting.”

  “We break the rules, and the CDC doesn’t like when people break the rules. We’re warm, and this couch is pretty cozy. She’s feeling pretty safe and comfortable, so she’s taking a nap.”

  “You had just enough pixie dust to take the edge off without impairing you. That might also allow you to enjoy some pixie dust without requiring a prescription for it in the future. You just have to watch how much you use. Good. There’s really nothing in this contract that should be a dealbreaker for you. The whole idea is I’m trying to convince you to accept the offer, and once you have decided you’ll do so, I need to convince you to like the offer enough you sign again in five years. I can’t accomplish that if you’re upset over the contract terms.”

  “That sounds disturbingly logical.”

  “I try to be logical and reasonable. It’s a dangerous combination, I know. Very hard to resist.”

  My virus certainly viewed him as very hard to resist, and I did a marvelous job of ignoring his advances. “The job offer could be a deal breaker.”

  “This is true. It’s difficult leaving a job you’re comfortable with for something new, especially when you’re taking quite a few steps up in the world. I had not anticipated your secondary work to be as a bounty hunter. I’d assumed you were doing some form of contract work, but more like a carpenter or something like that.”

  “Me? A carpenter?”

  “You’re the only tenant who doesn’t bother your landlord for basic repairs, so it’s logical you were doing them yourself. A lot of people can’t be bothered to do the work, so they hire cheap contractors to do it for them.”

  “I never even thought of that as an option.”

  “If you enjoy doing that sort of work, I have no problem with having you do it at the properties, although I will draw the line at anything dealing with the plumbing or electricity. Wet, slightly fried lycanthropes smell awful.”

  As wet lycanthropes did not smell pleasant under any situation, I couldn’t argue with him. “I can’t say I’ve ever electrocuted myself before.”

  “Please don’t start now.”

  “I can agree to that.”

  “Good. It would have been strange if we had to fight over your basic rights to electrocute yourself.”

  “I think it’s safe to say we won’t be having that argument anytime soon. Tell me about this job.”

  “I think you’ll find it within your abilities, although there will be some training required, which will be provided. Your boss, which is me, can be quite the asshole, but that is primarily due to my status as a single hybrid lycanthrope male.”

  “You’re not nearly as much of an asshole as those two assholes who trashed my poor car.”

  “It’s not much, but I’ll take it. So, your job responsibilities are pretty varied, but you’ll essentially be the equivalent of my secretary with a few other perks and responsibilities.”

  “A secretary? Me? You think I could be your secretary?”

  “You’re obviously decent at project management. You acquired various legalized substances from the CDC in a timely fashion, and you used them to lure me into your custody. If you can do that, I have zero reason to believe you can’t handle the work. You’re capable of telling egotistical men, myself included, no. Not only do you use the word no, you fully expect your wishes to be respected, and you’re willing to take measures should you be pressured. I don’t want or need someone who will tell me yes all the time.”

  When I considered the situation from his shoes, I could easily understand how I might be a good candidate for that job. “Okay. That’s reasonable. I am capable of telling you no whenever necessary.”

  “I’m well aware,” he muttered in a wry tone.

  “What are my hours?”

  “That is where the problem is.”

  “I’ll be on call all the time?”

  “Correct.”

  “Am I compensated for being on call all the time?”

  “Absolutely. I added thirty thousand to your yearly salary, before bonuses, purely because I would be able to call you in the middle of the night. The contract has rules
on what happens if I bother you too much, which is usually bonuses and vacation time. I’m on my own if you’re on vacation, so I’ll have to hope you won’t ever take a vacation on me. I’m well aware you will likely use every vacation day you can get your hands on.”

  “I’m glad I don’t have to explain that to you.”

  “You’ve been abused by employers too much as it is.”

  “What’s my starting pay?”

  “Before bonuses?”

  “I don’t count bonuses as a part of my pay because they might not happen.”

  “Wise woman. Your starting salary will be a hundred and ten thousand.”

  My head went blank at the number. “I’m sorry, but could you repeat that?”

  “A hundred and ten thousand, measured in dollars. This is a competitive starting salary for the amount of work you’ll need to do.” Wayne held his hand out for my papers. “I’ll show you.”

  I handed over the pages, which he flipped through before handing one back. According to the sheet, I would be a secretary working directly for him, and everything was as he’d said, except he hadn’t mentioned the part about the complete health insurance he would pay for. “Health insurance?”

  “I’m going to guess you have pretty crap health insurance right now if you have it at all.”

  Damn, he didn’t pull his punches. “The CDC has helped somewhat because of the attack.”

  “Well, you’ll have proper health insurance. Lycanthropes need it. The virus doesn’t make us immune to illness, although it does solve a lot of problems. We can still be hurt, too. Your policy will be my responsibility. The policies for hybrids can get pretty ridiculous. The CDC was helping you with your health bills?”

  “I think I had to pay ten dollars once for prescriptions right after the attack. That was my share.”

  “What did they have you on?”

  “Pixie dust and some other stuff, I guess. It was my share from the hospitalization”

  “You paid ten dollars for your hospitalization?”

  “Yeah. They gave me a token bill. I agreed to let them study me since my virus is weird.” I hesitated. “Was that a bad decision?”