Who R U Really?

by Margo Kelly

  “Earth to Cynthia!” Seth leaned forward and waved at me.

  “Do not call me Cynthia.”

  “What are you daydreaming about?” Mom asked.

  “Nothing.” I placed a card on the table and the game continued, until my cell rang.

  Mom held up her hand. “It’s family night.” But I had already pushed the Talk button.

  “Hello?”

  “Are you free?” Janie asked.

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “You have to log onto Skadi. Kit is totally flirting with some other girl. He’s cheating on you.” I hurried from the kitchen and down the hall to my bedroom.

  I lowered my voice. “He is so not my boyfriend. Therefore he cannot be cheating on me.”

  “Come on, you like him a lot. I see your chats when we do quests together.”

  She would whack me if she found out Kit and I had private chats outside of the quests. I considered admitting the truth to my best friend, but hesitated because I had promised Kit I wouldn’t say anything. He worried that he could get in trouble since he was nineteen, and I was fourteen.

  “Tell me what he’s saying. It will take me a few minutes to log on.” But before she could fill me in on the details, Mom stepped into my room.

  “Off the phone,” she said.

  I continued to hold the cell to my ear.

  “Now! We are in the middle of family time.”

  “But Janie and I have a homework assignment we have to finish. It will affect our final grades.” I surprised myself with how easily the lie came.

  “You can call her back after we finish our card game.”

  “I heard,” Janie said. “You’re a liar. Call me back.” I pushed the End button, set the phone next to my computer, and followed Mom back out to the kitchen table.

  “Nice of you to rejoin us,” Dad said.

  “Can’t your little friends survive five minutes without you?” Seth smirked.

  “Shut up!” I slugged my brother in the shoulder. He rose and grabbed my fist.

  “Don’t hit me.” He hung over me to emphasize his point.

  “Or what?” I had learned enough in my first two self-defense classes to know I shouldn’t antagonize a thug, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “You are so immature,” he said and released my fist.

  “Sit down—both of you,” Dad said.

  “No hitting. Ever. We’re having family time. Sit down and enjoy it,” Mom said.

  Both my brother and I slouched in our chairs. I wished he would disappear. Life would be easier as an only child.

  ■

  After our fun-family-time had ended, I checked my phone. Janie had already sent several messages urging me to hurry up. She was the only person who ever texted me. I dialed her number.

  “You missed it all,” Janie said without even a hello.

  “Is he still online? I’m logging in.”

  “No point. He left about thirty minutes ago.”

  “Tell me everything.”

  Janie spoke as fast as ever, detailing the events of how Kit brought a new player, named Red, into our guild. I finished logging into Skadi and extended my fingers out straight. I’d painted my nails yesterday, and they were already chipped. I grabbed my bottle of blue nail polish, left the computer, and stretched out on the floor. I leaned against the bed frame and put the phone on speaker. Then I opened the bottle and touched up the flaked spots while I listened to Janie.

  “They totally dominated the chat by giving personal information about themselves,” she said. “Red is a fifteen-year-old girl that lives in Hawaii. Did you know Kit is nineteen and lives in Georgia?” I tightened the lid on the bottle of polish and considered my answer. Yes, I knew.

  “Really?” I said.

  “Thea, be careful. He is too old for you.”

  “I can handle it. Besides, we’re just friends. And it doesn’t sound to me like he flirted with her.”

  “No, Thea. They even exchanged a couple of sex jokes.”

  My heart sank. I chewed on my lip while I struggled to reply.

  “Tell me you’re not giving him personal information,” Janie said.

  “Don’t be silly.”

  “Thea, he left right after Red. I’m telling you, they were hooking up.”

  “Whatever. Why would he flirt right in front of you? He knows you’d tell me.”

  “You know . . . you could log in as a new character and try to trick him . . . see if he’s lying,” she suggested.

  I was tempted. “No. It doesn’t matter. Are you going to play for a while?”

  “I’m going to study for tomorrow’s math test. I need summer to get here sooner.”

  “Agreed. See you tomorrow.”

  I ended the call and heard Mom talking to herself as she walked the length of the hall toward my room. I hopped up, sat at my desk to collapse the game screen and open a Word document, and smudged my wet nails in the process. Mom came in without knocking.

  “When was the last time you vacuumed in here?” she asked.

  I raised my eyebrows. No point in answering. We’d had this conversation before, and my room was never clean enough. Yes, I had a few dirty clothes behind the door, but other than that I kept my room spotless. Mom expected everything to be perfect.

  “How’s the homework coming?” She perched on the extra chair near my desk and clasped her hands in her lap.

  “Fine.”

  “What else do you have open on your computer?” Mom squinted at the tiny words at the bottom of the monitor. “Are you playing Skadi?”

  “I have it open, but I’m not playing it.”

  “Log off Skadi,” she instructed. I did as she said. “I let you play a lot during break, but now you need to refocus your priorities.” Mom picked up my dirty laundry and left.

  I got ready for bed, and then I told my parents I’d finished my homework and wanted to read for a while. They said their goodnights, and I headed back to my room. Once there, I closed the door and shoved a large blanket at the base of it. If my parents came to check on me, the barricade would slow the process long enough for me to shut off the monitor and slide into bed. They didn’t check, and Kit was online.

  CHAPTER 5

  Kit and I lingered online, chatting and completing quests. No one else from our guild was playing, so we didn’t censor our comments. Well, except for the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to ask about Red, and he didn’t mention her. Instead, we debated song lyrics.

  Kitsuneshin: DeathTomb’s CDs r the best.

  ImmortalSlayer: Never heard of them. Are they some sort of Heavy Metal band?

  Kitsuneshin: *head slap* RU kidding me? American Alternative Rock - ranked #1 on Billboard

  Kitsuneshin: You have to listen to them. Their lyrics nail how I feel.

  ImmortalSlayer: Ok. Next time I’m at the library I’ll look for them.

  Kitsuneshin: Library?

  ImmortalSlayer: Ya. We don’t buy CDs. We borrow them. *eye roll*

  Kitsuneshin: That’s smart!

  Kitsuneshin: Plus, u can always watch the videos on YouTube.

  ImmortalSlayer: Which one should I watch first?

  Kitsuneshin: I’m listening to Broken right now

  ImmortalSlayer: *opening YouTube*

  Kitsuneshin: “I try to protect myself, but with you I’m wide open”

  ImmortalSlayer: Is that from the song?

  Kitsuneshin: Yup . . . I suppose you’re a fan of that country-pop-crossover chick, Lauren Harper?

  ImmortalSlayer: Yes!

  Kitsuneshin: LOL How can you possibly like her?

  ImmortalSlayer: Hey! Don’t be hatin’ on my music!

  Kitsuneshin: LOL . . . jk . . . Besides some of her songs have great lyrics.

  ImmortalSlayer: Which ones?

  Kitsuneshin: Short Romance . . . *clears throat and sings*

  Kitsuneshin: “Baby, someday, we’ll make history”

  ImmortalSlayer: *sings too* “Together, we’ll s
ing, we’ll laugh, and we will dance”

  Kitsuneshin: “Because . . . baby . . . this is more than just a short romance.”

  ImmortalSlayer: Hah! *high five* Nicely done! You must be a closet fan of Lauren Harper!

  Kitsuneshin: Must be! *peeks out of closet*

  Kitsuneshin: LOL—u have a great voice!

  ImmortalSlayer: Thank you! *takes a bow*

  Kitsuneshin: Ha! We are great together!

  A shiver ran up my bare legs. I hopped up to grab my robe from the closet for extra warmth, and that’s when I realized I’d left my window blinds wide open. My bedroom window faced the backyard, and sometimes I liked to stare at the stars, but not right now. I reached over and closed the blinds before I returned to my desk.

  Kitsuneshin: I just wish my friends wouldn’t give me crap for hanging out with you.

  ImmortalSlayer: Why are they giving u crap?

  Kitsuneshin: Our ages

  ImmortalSlayer: Ignore them—our ages don’t matter

  ImmortalSlayer: We connect. That’s what matters.

  Kitsuneshin: UR right . . . besides five yrs isn’t that much

  ImmortalSlayer: When u are 25 I’ll be 20 *counts on fingers*

  Kitsuneshin: I can picture us then . . . but . . . how old would be too old for u?

  ImmortalSlayer: IDK . . . maybe age shouldn’t matter

  ImmortalSlayer: Watching Broken on YouTube . . . so sad! ☹

  Kitsuneshin: Ya.

  ImmortalSlayer: RU sad?

  Kitsuneshin: Sometimes, but my days r better when I talk with u.

  ImmortalSlayer: Ah . . . thanks! Me, too! *hugs*

  Kitsuneshin: *hugs back*

  Kitsuneshin: We should swap cell numbers so we can chat during the day

  ImmortalSlayer: No . . . I’ll get in trouble for texting during school

  Kitsuneshin: RU sure? I hate waiting until Skadi to talk with you.

  ImmortalSlayer: I know . . . but I can’t.

  Kitsuneshin: What about e-mail?

  ImmortalSlayer: Maybe . . . but it’s almost midnight here. I should go.

  Kitsuneshin: LOL it’s 2am here in Georgia!

  ImmortalSlayer: Then we should both get some sleep LOL see u later

  Kitsuneshin: I’ll miss u. *tucks u into bed*

  ImmortalSlayer: ☺ nite

  Kitsuneshin: Sweet dreams!

  ■

  The next morning, I had a hard time dragging myself out of bed. I lingered on the edge for a minute and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Once I could focus, I grabbed my Quote of the Day calendar. The date said June, even though it was only April, because if I didn’t like the assigned quote for the day, I tore off pages until I found a good one.

  Whatever is good to know is difficult to learn.—Greek Proverb

  That sounded like a bad omen. I ripped it off, crumpled it, and chucked it toward the trash can. Swish. I read the next quote.

  If women want any rights they had better take them, and say nothing about it.—Harriet Beecher Stowe

  I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I liked it. I wrote it down in the back of my notebook with the rest of my quote collection. The front half served as my diary. Sometimes I detailed the events of my day, and other times I analyzed my favorite quotes and tried to figure out what they meant to me. Not today, though. I needed to get moving. I slipped the quote notebook into my backpack—because I usually took it everywhere with me. Once I had made the mistake of decorating the cover with bright papers, ribbon, and glitter. It was gorgeous! But it attracted attention, and people asked questions about it . . . questions I didn’t want to answer. My notebook was private. So I stashed that pretty one, and I’ve used a plain black and white composition book ever since. No one ever commented on it. They probably assumed it was just schoolwork.

  I pushed off the bed and grabbed my hairbrush. I pulled it through my hair until all of the knots disappeared, and then with my fingers I drew my hair back into a ponytail. I grabbed a pink T-shirt from my dresser and pulled it on, shoved my arms into my white hoodie, and looked in the mirror as I zipped it up. I’d messed up my hair already. After readjusting my ponytail and ensuring no stray hairs stuck out, I wiped off yesterday’s makeup and put on some fresh eyeliner and mascara. I picked up the bottle of foundation, but set it back down without using it. I had confessed to Kit last night that I hated my freckles. He said he loved freckles. I examined my splotchy skin in the mirror. I guess it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he’d be at school anyway. I left off the foundation for a change.

  The doorbell rang.

  I checked the clock. I couldn’t remember Janie ever arriving on time, let alone early. I grabbed my backpack and hustled to the front door to greet her, but Seth reached it before me.

  His voice rang out loud and clear. “Holy crap, Janie!”

  I shoved him out of the way and halted midstep. “What happened to your hair?” I asked.

  Janie pushed past us and ran to the guest bathroom off the entryway. I was right behind her.

  “Omigosh, it’s awful. I don’t know what to do.” She dropped her bags and leaned into the mirror. She pinched and pulled at the short bangs—her long black curls gone—and spoke to our reflections. “My sister and I tried to give each other highlights yesterday. Epic Failure. Mom ran us over to her hair salon. They stripped the color, and our hair was fine. But then Mom freaked and told her lady to cut it all off. Both of us. We look so stupid.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, and my heart ached for her. “How can I go to school like this? I tried to fake sick this morning, but that was a failure, too.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me last night?” I drew my friend into a hug. “It’s not that bad.”

  “Don’t you lie to me, Cynthia.” She pulled back and swayed her head from side to side. “I know you. I even know your middle name. So, don’t you dare lie to me. Not ever. Understand?”

  “Got it.” I stepped back and examined her hair. “It’s not good, but with the right products and styling, we can improve it. Besides, I’ll kick anyone’s butt who dares to say something to you. Okay?”

  “Thanks.”

  “And you should’ve told me last night.”

  “I guess I was in denial. Or maybe shock.” Janie wiped her tears.

  She and I moved to my room at the end of the hall. We added mousse, paste, and hair spray—lots of hair spray—and styled her hair the best we could in the limited time available. We grabbed our bags and linked our arms. Together we could handle anything.

  The crowd at the bus stop was too surprised to say anything. Well, except for Josh, of course. “Did your dad take a weed whacker to your hair?”

  I stepped toward him and considered which new self-defense move I should use, but Tim blocked me.

  “Ignore him,” Tim said.

  He smelled like aftershave lotion, and he stood so close I could see his pores. I wanted to touch his smooth skin. My hand lifted, but I stopped myself. Tim seemed to move in slow motion, and his lips curved as he spoke to Janie.

  “Sorry, Janie,” he said. Then he placed a hand on Josh’s shoulder and pushed him to the other side of the group. Tim still affected me. Would that ever change? He looked back toward me and smiled. Crap. Then he turned away again.

  I caught my breath and said to Janie, “Ignore him. How a dim-witted tool like Josh can play sports and not hurt himself amazes me!” The girls around us giggled.

  Janie attracted a few confused stares throughout the day, but when she was with me I put a single finger in the air and cocked an eyebrow. The smart ones clued in and withdrew. The dumb ones called names, but when I took a step toward them, they cowered and left Janie alone. While I felt bad for her, I appreciated being needed, and the distraction of defending her made the day go faster. That was a good thing, because lately the hours at school dragged on forever.

  I could hardly wait to return home and check for Kit online. Summer break needed to arrive sooner so I’d have more time to devote to him. He�
�d asked for my cell number and e-mail, but I wasn’t ready. Not yet. I was probably being paranoid.

  After school, I went through the usual motions of a snack and chores. Then I used the excuse of homework to retreat to my room. It was about half the size of Janie’s huge bedroom, but I liked it. I pulled up the blinds on my window, to allow the sunshine in, and admired the huge trees in the backyard. My twin bed—positioned just to the right of the window—sat higher than normal, because last year Dad and I put it on risers. He even built a small step stool for me to climb up onto the bed. He and I had gone shopping, and he let me pick out the comforter, bright pink, and other new bedding. We painted the walls and assembled the desk together. My computer was a hand-me-down, but it worked fine, and it was my own. I didn’t have to share it or worry about anyone lurking over my shoulder while I used it.

  I took a break for dinner and then disappeared back to my room. Kit didn’t come online until almost eight, which was ten o’clock for him. I could do the math fast, because I did it constantly. He lived in Georgia, and I was in Idaho.

  My heart beat faster when his name appeared in the guild box. I set my hand on my chest. This was the first time since Tim that my heart raced at the idea of talking to someone else. Maybe I was finally over Tim.

  I typed hello to Kit, but before he could respond, Red’s name appeared also. Kit said hello to both Red and me in the same line. We’re just friends, I reminded myself. They made some irrelevant comments about which quest we should do. I texted Janie and told her to log on and join us. Flashfire, her online name, appeared moments later. Red and Kit picked a quest. Janie and I followed like little puppies.

  During the quest Red and Kit chatted about where they lived. Red in Hawaii. Kit in Georgia. They described the weather, the scenery, the special events, blah blah blah. Janie opened a private chat box with me and asked if I felt left out. As though Kit read her mind, he typed into the guild box: