Never say forever (Never series Book 1)

by Taylor, Courtney A.

  Never Say Forever

  Courtney A. Taylor

  Kindle Version - Copyright 2014

  All Rights Reserved – Courtney A. Taylor

  ISBN-13: 978-1500982713

  ISBN-10: 1500982717

  Cover Photos- Couple- obtained from 123rf/osons, Waterfall- © Rostislav Ageev - Fotolia.com, Other waterfall- © Fyle – Fotolia.com

  Fonts legally obtained from 1001 Free Fonts Baby and Font Squirrel- Rubie, EB Garamond and Davys

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  Dedication

  I dedicate this book to my family, who was there to support me every step of the way.

  PROLOGUE

  Two Years Ago

  Serena

  I can’t believe I am done with eighth grade and graduating to high school. It seems like the time has flown by. Once I start freshman year, my sister Cadence will be a junior and we will be at the same school. I’m so excited to share the experience with her. She has been my rock through all my hard times and we are closer than any two sisters can be. My sister and I are complete opposites. I have brown wavy hair and Cadence has blonde straight hair like our mother. My father has brown hair and I look more like him. My father doesn’t live with us anymore. He decided a few years ago that his mistress, who he was cheating on my mom with, was more important and left all of us to start a new life with her. My parents fought a lot so I guess it was a good thing that they went their separate ways. My father has tried to call and keep in contact with me but I never call him back. I don’t know if I am ready to forgive him yet. After a few months, he stopped trying. He’s probably waiting for me to contact him. I hope he doesn’t hold his breath waiting because it won’t be anytime soon. I know it’s not healthy to shut him out like that but when I talk to him, I envision all the times my mom was hurt by him and all the times she stayed up crying all night because she knew he was with his mistress.

  It’s the end of the school day, and I exit the double doors of Arden Junior High and spot Cadence’s car. She just started driving this year, so she picks me up from school every day because that’s when we get to hang out and I love it so much. I open the passenger side door to her Chevy Malibu and plop down into the passenger seat. Cadence looks at me with her dark sunglasses on and smiles at me.

  “You ready to cruise Rena?” Cadence asked with a smile on her face.

  She must be in a good mood because I usually only see this side of her when she is excited about something. Not to say she’s never excited but she is literally beaming.

  “Hell yeah, let’s roll out of this joint,” I reply, thankful that the long school day is finally over.

  Its times like this that I really enjoy having a sister rather than a brother. I can share things with her that I normally can’t share with my mother. When she picks me up, we usually cruise around town and that’s when we tell each other everything because we are completely alone. If we don’t have anything to share, then we just crank up the radio and sing and dance like two little girls. I know it’s immature but it feels so good to let everything out and be a little crazy every once in a while. It relieves a lot of the stress that builds up on a daily basis.

  “So I got this rave review from a teacher today and she’s going to write a letter of recommendation to any college that I want to go to. So I can go for my degree in art and I can go wherever I want to go to,” Cadence beamed at me.

  I couldn’t help but be extremely excited for her. I hope she doesn’t pick a place that’s too far away. I don’t want our time together to go away. I am being completely selfish and shouldn’t think that because I know once she goes to college, she’s not going to have a whole lot of time to spend with me anyway. She will be too busy studying and doing her work. I hear college is the worst because they give you a ton of homework and you have to study a lot to pass your tests.

  “Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you! What college are you going to go to?”

  I’m intrigued by what she’s going to say. I’ll be happy no matter what because I want to see her follow her dreams but I really hope she doesn’t go too far. I don’t know how I could live if she was on the other side of the country.

  “I’m not sure yet. I have options so I will do some research and go from there,” Cadence said, sounding confident.

  “Have you told Mom?” I’m not sure why I asked such a stupid question. If she told mom, then I would have heard about it.

  “No I just found out today and wanted to tell you first.”

  I feel so honored that she would tell me her big news before anyone else. We arrive home after our cruise around the neighborhood and I hugged her before leaving the car

  “Thanks for confiding in me first. I love you, big sister.”

  “I love you too, little sister. Now let’s go in and break the news to Mom.”

  We enter the house and she tells the news to Mom over dinner and she’s ecstatic. She wants both of us to succeed in school so we can have the job of our choice. She told us before that she regrets not following her dreams. She said that she got pregnant and dropped out of school. She doesn’t regret getting pregnant because she said that we are her world but she regrets not somehow making it work and getting her GED and going to college. Instead, now she is either waiting tables or working at a bar and just making enough money to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. She cried tears of joy. I was so happy that our family was working out.

  ***

  Two Months Later

  I finished up reading for the night and I was just getting ready for bed when I heard shouting. I heard Cadence and my mother arguing about something. I couldn’t quite make out what was going on and I didn’t want to eavesdrop. Privacy is very important to me. I like for people to stay out of my personal space unless I allow them in, so I try to give that same respect to everyone else. I put my headphones on and before I knew it, I drifted to sleep.

  My alarm clock wakes me at 6:30 A.M. and I feel like a truck hit me. I definitely didn’t get enough sleep last night. I slowly rise out of bed to get ready for the school day. I grab a blue cami sweater and a brand new pair of jeans that fit perfectly. I don’t usually wear makeup but this is the first day of high school so I oblige. There will be a lot of new people at this school that I have never met, I want to at least present myself as if I care about my appearance.

  I go to leave my room to go into the bathroom and finish my hair when something catches my attention. There is a folded up piece of paper on my floor right by my door. That’s weird, I don’t remember dropping anything. I pick it up and open it with a little bit of hesitation and read the note.

  SERENA,

  IM SORRY! I NEVER WANTED TO LEAVE BUT I HAVE TO. I NEVER WANT TO SAY GOODBYE BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY AT THIS POINT. I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME BUT I CAN’T STAY HERE. I NEED TO PROTECT MYSELF.

  I LOVE YOU LITTLE SIS

  I drop the note and immediately feel my gut wrench. What does this mean? Did she leave? How could she leave? Why didn’t she tell me? She wrote me a note to say goodbye? What kind of person does that? My mind is racing with questions I can’t find the answers to. I can’t help the anger that courses through my veins right now because she was the closest person to me and she didn’t even have the nerve to tell me to my face that she was leaving. I have so many emotions
driving through my body that I don’t really know what I feel at this point so I give into sorrow. I can’t stop the sobs and the tears that stream down my face.

  I must have been so loud that my mother heard me because she opened the door. “Honey what’s wrong?” she asked with concern on her face.

  “It’s Cadence, she’s gone.”

  I close my eyes because I can’t bear to face the reality without my sister. Everything was going so well and she just left without so much as a hug or a goodbye. What would make a person do that?

  “No she’s not honey. She’s at school. She was a little upset over last night’s events that she went to school early,” my mother insisted.

  Does she really not know? My mind questions if my mom saw Cadence this morning or if that’s what she’s thinking happened. Did Cadence see Mom and tell her she was on her way to school. I know if I was running away and got caught in the process, I would lie and say I was going to school. But what about her things? Wouldn’t my mom have seen her take a lot of personal items with her?

  I hand my mother the letter. She reads it and I can see the regret on her face as the sadness hits her. She knows something. She knows why she left, I can see it in her eyes. She looks like someone scorned for the outcome of doing something they didn’t even want to do in the first place.

  “Oh my, it’s all my fault.” She starts to cry now as the reality hit her.

  “How is it your fault, Mom?”

  I couldn’t see how this could possibly be her fault. Then it dawns on me. I heard arguing last night. I should have just listened to the conversation. Maybe I could have prevented this from happening. Maybe Cadence would still be here if I would have paid more attention and pried into their private conversation. I would have at least known what it was about and could have talked to Cadence last night.

  “She came to me and told me that she was pregnant and I told her that she needed to get an abortion. I didn’t tell her that to be cruel, but she was trying to follow her art career and I was looking out for her best interest. I know how it is to have kids too early. You never find time to finish what you set your heart to do and then you live the rest of your life scrambling to make money to keep food on the table and keep your babies alive. I know the struggles. Your father wasn’t always successful. There was a time in the beginning when both of you were small and he couldn’t find a job. No one was hiring around here. When we did work, we barely made anything. I was trying to look out for what she needs. I figured she could take care of her education and then have kids. As much as it killed me to tell her that because I want more than anything to have a little grandbaby running around here, I was trying to look out for her. She screamed at me that I’m a heartless bitch and stormed in her room. If I had known she would run away I would have never said that.”

  Mom seems really depressed now. I know this isn’t her fault. Cadence was too stubborn to hear Mom out because she wanted the baby and didn’t want to hear why she shouldn’t have the baby. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me she was pregnant. She tells me everything and she never told me that. She has been acting a little strange the past few weeks. I can’t begin to fathom why she would hide this secret from me. I admire her willingness to keep the baby and not abort. It shows that she is caring which I already knew. I just didn’t know that I was going to lose her because of it. I don’t know how I’m going to make it in school without her. I was looking forward to going to the same school with her and now I have to endure this alone. Nothing will ever replace the bond we had. I hope to have that again someday but I’m not hopeful of it. She left for a reason and she’ll probably stay gone which is going to hurt me beyond belief.

  Chapter 1

  Serena

  It’s been two years and I still haven’t heard from Cadence. It’s been a devastating yet interesting couple of years. I still can’t get over the fact that she’s gone. At the beginning, I thought she was acting out and would come back home right away. As much as it pains me to say, it didn’t work out to my advantage. She’s gone and there’s nothing I can do about it. No one ever said I had to be happy about it. I just have to learn to live with this on a daily basis.

  Freshmen year was really hard on me. On the first day of school I had an emotional breakdown because that was the day that I had anticipated for so long with Cadence by my side and that was also the day that she left. I seemed to be the center of attention since there were rumors floating around school. I heard a lot of rumors that she slept around with all the guys at school including the football team. I really find that hard to believe, but for some reason everyone else believes it. Girls at the school were being nasty to me, writing slut and whore on my locker, trying to trip me in the hallways. Whatever these hellions could do to piss me off, they did it. Eventually I snapped on them and I was sent to the school counselor who talked to me like I was insane. Seriously? I don’t have issues. I felt like telling her to leave me the hell alone, but that would have just dug me deeper in a hole I was already digging. I sat it out and listened to her. Yes, I am depressed and yes, I am emotional. That does not mean that there is something mentally wrong with me. But then again how do you explain that to a school shrink who is always looking for the negative issues so they can mentally fix you? I can do this on my own, without the help of others.

  Once I started to stabilize myself and started doing really good in school, the guys around school were trying to get me in bed. They thought it was a game. I’m sure they were placing bets on who could get me in bed first. I learned I couldn’t trust anyone at school. I need to just do my own thing and forget about boys. At this school, they are nothing but trouble.

  No matter where I turn, I hear Cadence’s name. I can’t seem to get away. It’s almost as if everyone seems to know how to push my buttons to see me crack. I find it somewhat hard to believe these rumors because I don’t see my sister as that type of person. Yet, she did hold her secret from me. Maybe we weren’t as close as I thought. Maybe there are more secrets eating away in her brain that she refused to tell me. This is something I guess I’ll never know, since seeing Cadence again just diminished my hope. If I was going to see her, she would have come around. Maybe I just was not that important to her. I try not to listen to the rumors but at this point I’m not really sure what to believe.

  My parents have always wanted me to exceed in school. They wanted me to go to college and become something. That’s fine, but I’m not here and I’m not doing this to please my father. This is to please myself and my mother. I want to do great in school, which is why I choose not to get involved with boys. Education is my top priority right now. According to everyone at school, before Cadence left she became a rebel in school. They say she screwed everyone and ditched school all the time. By the time she was a junior in high school, she got knocked up and ran away from everyone. I hate to talk bad about her, but she left me. A big part of my heart shattered the minute she walked out of my life. She was supposed to be my big sister and help me through all my troubles. We were really close until one day she completely did a 180 and changed forever. I haven’t seen her in a long time and I guess at this point I couldn’t care less. I do not want to follow in her footsteps.

  My parents named me Serena. I’m not sure what they were thinking when they named me. I hate my name so all of my close family and friends call me Rena. I still don’t like it but it’s better than Serena. I could have picked a better name. My grades are the best and I don’t date. Maybe it’s because of everything I’ve seen with my older sister and my mother, or maybe it’s that I don’t think that love exists. Either way I keep to myself and don’t put myself out there.

  I entered class on my first day of junior year and picked a seat in the back of the class. I got here early so I could have my pick of the seats. I look around and only see a few people here. The teacher isn’t even here yet. I slide in my seat and wait for Larissa to come to class. This is the only class we share besides lunch. She has been my best fri
end since we were in kindergarten. We share everything together. I am so happy she is in this class. I set my book bag on the seat next to me so that no one takes her seat. Right as I place it on the seat, someone approaches it and goes to move it.

  “I’m sorry but this seat is taken,” I stated.

  I raise my eyes up as I reached my hand over to keep the bag in place and I was met with a pair of mesmerizing bright blue eyes. He had very short blond hair and the most amazing smile. What the hell am I thinking? I can’t be drooling over a boy! I promised myself that I would not get involved in anything like this. I don’t care how cute or hot he is, this will never happen. I see him smirk at me and I feel like I just turned to mush. He has dimples. Dimples have always been one of the traits I have seen in all of my crushes growing up. They seem to make me lose my train of thought because they seem to occupy my mind. It’s going to be a lot harder than I thought. He won’t stop smiling and now I’m getting goose bumps.

  “I didn’t think you could fit in two chairs,” he laughed.

  He thinks this is amusing. Great. He was all godlike and now he’s opened his mouth and showed what an ass he really is. I guess he just made it easier for me.

  “Okay smartass, this is a seat for Larissa. She told me to save it for her. I don’t need your smartass witty humor here. There are plenty of seats in the front,” I fumed.