The Fire In My Eyes

by Christopher Nelson

  “Got it!” She pointed and the trace glowed briefly, leading to a figure crouching out of our direct line of sight in someone's back yard. I dropped the shield and struck the ground where the attacker was standing, hard enough to knock them off balance. Nikki followed up my attack. The trace of her attack was hard to see, but it connected to our attacker and I could see their power flicker and go out. “Think we got them?” she whispered.

  A hand gripped the back of my collar. My concentration faltered and vanished. Nikki squawked. “No,” said Shade's familiar voice. “You didn't get them.”

  “That was you?” I asked. “Up here on the roof?”

  The grip tightened. “You didn't hit me hard enough. Wainwright, you did fine. Inducing vertigo was a good idea. It didn't last long enough, but you did fine for a trainee. If you had focused it on me a second or two longer, even Parker's half-assed shot would have been enough to knock me out. I suppose I should thank you for that.”

  “Who are you?” Nikki demanded. “Let go of me!”

  “It's just Shade,” I said. “Sounds like he likes you.”

  Shade grunted and pushed me. I stumbled down the slope of the roof and flung myself backwards, trying to keep from falling off. Right when I thought I had my balance, he gave me another push, right between my shoulder blades. I fell face first off the roof. Even soft ground was not going to save me from a broken nose here.

  Someone caught me before I could drop more than a foot. Two green eyes were glowing below me, a figure standing in the front yard of the house. I felt the telekinetic grip loosen and lower me easily to the ground. When the glow died away, I recognized the figure. She had her sunglasses pushed up to the top of her head and she gave me a lopsided smile. “Been a while, hasn't it?”

  “I remember you,” I said. She was the woman who had healed Nikki. Had she been the other attacker, or was she just standing by in case anyone was hurt?

  “Absynthe!” Nikki's squeal from the roof was shockingly loud in the quiet evening. Nikki flung herself off the roof right toward the woman, who caught her and spun her around with an easy laugh, her dark clothes and pale skin whirling around in the moonlight. “I thought that was you!” Nikki said as the woman set her down. “Maximum effect, minimum effort, right?”

  “You got it,” the woman said. “Though your boyfriend here has all the subtlety of a tank. That shield is impressively strong, Kevin. Throwing rocks at a tank is exactly what it felt like. When you shifted the parameters of the shield to catch the rocks, that was well done. Don't you agree?”

  That answered many questions. Attacker, healer, and mentor. I felt a thump as Shade jumped down from the roof. “He should have done it sooner.”

  “That's what training is all about, Shade,” the woman said. Her voice had a tone of mild exasperation to it. She had been nicer that night than he had, I remembered.

  “I expect more from him, Absynthe,” he replied. “So does Alistair. So should you.”

  I stepped forward and turned my back to Shade. “I guess you're Nikki's trainer?”

  Nikki was beaming. “Kevin, this is Absynthe, my mentor.”

  “We haven't met before,” she tele'd me, then continued out loud. “Nice to meet you, Kevin. I've heard a lot about you. I feel like I know you quite well already.”

  I nodded, smiled, and considered why she wanted me to pretend we hadn't met before. I assumed that it was because of the accident. Nikki didn't remember it, and Absynthe probably wanted to keep it that way. “Nice to meet you too, Absynthe. Nikki's told me you're a great mentor to her. You seem like you get along really well.”

  “Oh, we do,” Absynthe said. “And before you ask, Absynthe is the Alistair-inflicted codename.”

  “So what was this all about?” Nikki asked. “That was a surprise attack. Some sort of special training?”

  Shade stepped around me, facing toward Absynthe and Nikki, turning his back to me. I cleared my throat, but he didn't budge. “Yes. Alistair has decided that since you two have already been practicing together, we should begin some joint training sessions, focusing on self-defense. It's especially important right now since the Establishment is shorthanded.”

  “Are you sure you should be telling them that?” Absynthe asked.

  Shade shrugged. I stepped to the side so I wasn't directly behind him. “They'll ask about it the first time they have a joint session and one of us is missing. We'll be free to take care of business in the region without having lapses in training. You know what the situation downstate is like.” He glared at me out of the corner of his eye.

  “What are you glaring at me for?” I asked.

  “Remember your friend while you were on vacation?”

  “The purple-eyed gangbanger? They're causing trouble because of that?”

  “They always cause trouble. More so now. They didn't appreciate me sending their agent back with a fresh twist, and now they think they have the chops to fight us straight up. They attacked three of ours in the past month. Two got clear. The third got twisted.”

  Absynthe covered her mouth with a hand. “Who?”

  “Wing,” he replied. “Not a hard twist. He's fine, we have him in the downstate center for recuperation. Alistair is incensed. He's ordering us to escalate.”

  “Escalate?” I asked.

  Shade gave us all a toothy grin. “That's the order. We have two dozen of our people in place and Alistair wants to send one of us down to run the show.”

  “Why would he consider sending me?” Absynthe asked. “I'm not anywhere near as experienced in combat as you.”

  “I think he plans on sending you to replace me after the majority of the fighting is over,” Shade replied. “Let you handle cleanup and restating our intentions with regards to the city's neutrality. They'll be more likely to believe you. I'd just tell them all to get the hell out.”

  “Neutrality?” I asked. All eyes snapped to me. “I thought it was a border dispute?”

  Shade sighed. “In a sense. The gangs down there claim the metropolitan area. So do we, but we try to keep it a neutral ground. A play nice policy, so to speak. Otherwise there'd be some serious wars for control of the city. Anyone who controls the city would control the financial center of the world, the United Nations, millions of people. Enormous economic, political, and social power.”

  “And others accept this?” I asked.

  “For the most part. We tell them to play nice in the city, or we'll come down on you. The gangs aren't playing nice anymore. We're going to put them down. Enough is enough.” Shade cracked his knuckles.

  “Put them down?” I asked. “You mean, wipe them out?”

  Absynthe shuffled her feet, but didn't say anything. Shade turned to fully face me. His dark eyes were unreadable. “They're a gang. I meant that when I said it. You could call them a psionic mafia if you wanted to, but they're far more dangerous than that. They use power for power's sake. They're more than willing to abuse their psionic abilities for their own gains. When Alistair says escalate, he means it. Yeah, we're going to wipe them out. We're going to break their organization down, twist their leaders, and force their people out of the city. Is that fine with you, Parker?”

  “I'm just asking,” I said. I couldn't muster much sympathy for them. They had tried to kill me, after all. Still, wiping them out in retaliation for a couple of attacks seemed to be overkill.

  Shade gave me a look of disgust, then turned back to Absynthe. “So. Joint training frees one of us up to go downstate. Also, Alistair is floating the idea of sending some of our trainees out locally. Simple investigations. Patrols. That sort of thing.”

  “How many people do we have if losing two dozen is leaving us so undermanned?” I couldn't help but ask, earning fresh glares from both of the older agents.

  I also earned some scorn from Nikki. “Come on, Kev,” she said. “Haven't you learned anything from the trainee materials? Even at our level we can see the Establishment's got about a hundred active agents, about a thir
d of that again in stages of training.”

  Shade chuckled. “Tell him off more, Wainwright. Maybe he'll listen to you. He certainly doesn't listen to me.”

  “It's not like I have any time alone to read anymore,” I shot back.

  “Oh, you want some time alone?” she snapped. “I can leave you alone if you want. Sorry. I didn't know I was bothering you so much.”

  “I don't mean you, I mean whenever I do manage to get back to my room, someone's always there, and it's not like I can take my laptop into the bathroom and read there!” I had tried that. Once. Max had caught me and told everyone. That sort of embarrassment wasn't high on my list of things to repeat.

  Nikki rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You really don't take this seriously, do you?”

  Shade continued to laugh. “I like you more and more, Wainwright. Do you want to trade trainees, Absynthe?”

  “Stop being an ass, Shade,” she said.

  Shade's chuckling cut off instantly. He stepped away from us and donned his sunglasses. “Enough for tonight. We'll start the joint training next week. Be ready for another evaluation of your skills. It'll make solo training look easy.”

  He walked down the sidewalk toward the campus, not leaping away like he usually did when normal training ended. Absynthe squeezed Nikki's shoulder, donned her own sunglasses, and jogged after Shade. When she caught up to him, I could see them exchange words, then she took his arm and fell into step beside him. I blinked. What was this?

  “Are you seeing what I'm seeing?” Nikki murmured. She stepped over beside me.

  “I'm seeing it, but I'm not sure I'm believing it,” I said. Almost as if he had heard me, Shade shifted his arm and put it around Absynthe's waist. “Yeah, now I'm wishing I wasn't seeing it.”

  Nikki took my hand. “I think it's sort of sweet.”

  “Poor Absynthe,” I said.

  The next week of joint self-defense training was just as vicious as he had implied. With Absynthe's presence, I realized that Shade had been going easy on me. Up until now, he had never inflicted more than an occasional scrape or bruise. During the course of the next week, I suffered fractures, lacerations, burns, and worse. Each time, the agony of the injury faded almost immediately as Absynthe set to work, switching off my pain receptors and encouraging my body to heal. Nikki would assist her, blinking back tears all the while. I grew familiar with the sensation of bones re-knitting themselves.

  By the end of that week, we were both exhausted. My injuries were taking a toll on my body. Even though Absynthe and Nikki were directing the accelerated healing process, my body had to do all the actual work. All I could do for myself was dull the throbbing echoes of pain at night so I could sleep. When Shade announced that he was leaving for New York City the next day, I was too tired to cheer.

  He leaped off the roof after his announcement, but instead of following him, Absynthe stepped over to kneel at my side. “You're not doing too well, are you?” she observed.

  I panted for breath. His final assault had cracked several ribs. “If I was in any worse shape, I'd probably be in the morgue,” I said.

  She touched my chest and I felt more of the lingering pain fade. “They're knitting just fine. Why do you antagonize him the way you do?”

  “What do you mean?” I sat up and winced with the expectation of pain. It didn't hurt, but I still felt as if it should. Getting used to broken bones was somewhat disturbing.

  “You taunt him as much as he taunts you,” Absynthe said. “You push him, and not in a friendly manner. You deliberately make him angry. And then he deliberately hurts you.”

  Nikki placed her hand on my shoulder. “She's right, Kevin. I've noticed too. It's like you two are playing a game to see who can make the other the angriest. Considering what ends up happening, even when you win, you still lose.”

  I shook my head and started to rise to my feet. Her hand on my shoulder held me down. “He's always hated me. He likes hurting me. He'd do it whether or not he's pissed off at me. He's a sadistic bastard.” I removed her hand from my shoulder and stood up.

  Absynthe stood up as well and looked me straight in the eye. “Bullshit,” she said. “Bullshit, Kevin. Bullshit.”

  “Come on, Absynthe,” I said. “It's not like you haven't seen it for yourself. He opposed giving me a second chance, and he resents having to train me.”

  She made a frustrated sound and shook her head. “He doesn't like you. That doesn't mean he wants to hurt you, or that he enjoys hurting you. If you give him an excuse to indulge his dislike, he takes it. He takes what’s offered. I know him that well.”

  I bit my tongue before I could ask her just how she knew that. I felt Nikki put her hand on my shoulder again and squeeze, hard. She probably thought I was about to ask a rather indelicate question. “I'm not that dumb,” I tele'd to her.

  “You are that dumb,” she said out loud. “But I like you in spite of that.”

  Absynthe chuckled. “You two get along well. I'm almost jealous.”

  “Almost?” Nikki asked.

  “My relationships have not been quite so warm,” Absynthe said. “More business than pleasure. Not that they were unhappy, mind you, but I've barely had a chance to rest in the past twenty years. My life is a whirlwind. It's only since I was assigned to training duty that I've spent so long in one place.”

  “Long distance relationships don't work out too well. So I've heard, at least,” I said. Nikki's grip tightened again. I took her hand off my shoulder again, but held on this time. “I'm glad this one isn't that way.”

  “They weren't long distance, necessarily,” Absynthe said. She walked over to the edge of the roof and placed her hands on the waist-high lip to keep people from falling off. “It's hard to explain. Not physical distance. Emotional distance. I couldn't connect with them. Not since Green.” One hand rose to cover her mouth, as if she had just said something wrong. “Ah. What am I saying? Neither of you understand emotional distance yet. Your hearts are as close as your bodies are. The way things should be.”

  Nikki squeezed my hand, but didn't say anything. I felt compelled to say something, and unfortunately, said the first thing that came into my mind. “Do you have that sort of emotional distance between you and Shade?”

  “Kevin!” Nikki hissed. Her fingernails dug into the back of my hand.

  Absynthe threw her head back and laughed. “Shade? He's as emotionally accessible as that block of concrete. I'll say no more. You two should go and rest.” She turned around and walked past us, slapping the back of her hand against my chest in passing. I recoiled, even though there still wasn't any pain. “Especially you. You won't be able to stand up much longer.” We followed her down the stairs to the elevator. She got out on the second floor, wishing us a good evening, and we got out at the ground floor and started the long walk back to the dorm.

  Nikki was strangely quiet all the way back to the dorm. Most nights we walked side by side, discussing what we had gone through that night. She rarely held my hand in public and we'd never kissed where anyone else could see. Tonight, she clung to my hand as if she was afraid to let go, and she answered all my questions with one or two words.

  By the time we reached the dorm, my arms and legs were shaking. I was so weak, I couldn't even hold the key to unlock the door. She had to do it for me. I leaned on her as we walked in. When I finally sat down on my bed, it was all I could do to kick my shoes off and lie down. “What time is it?” I asked.

  She sat on the bed next to me and gently stroked my hair. “Half past nine.”

  “Too early to go to sleep,” I mumbled. My body protested every single moment I was still awake. My chest was starting to ache and I could barely even lift my eyelids.

  “You need to rest. Start studying tomorrow. Finals are the week after next.”

  “Shit. I haven't even started.” I forced myself to sit up. I had too many things to worry about to sleep. Even if it was only an hour of studying, it would be a start, and maybe it would be enou
gh to keep me from failing.

  Nikki pushed me back down to lie on my back. “No,” she said. “You're going to pass out if you try and do anything other than lying down.” She walked across the room and closed the door, then walked back over to my bed. She stood there for a moment, looking down at me, then kicked her shoes off. “Move over.”

  I shuffled over as much as I could. She sat down again, then laid down beside me, her head close to my shoulder, placing her right hand on my chest. “What are you doing?” I asked her.

  “Making sure you sleep,” she said. “I can feel your heart, you know that?”

  “I should hope so.”

  She balled her fist and thumped my chest. I wheezed. “Idiot.” She flattened her hand out on my chest again and pressed a little closer to me. “I was thinking about what Absynthe was saying.”

  “About the emotional distance thing?” I asked.

  She nodded and burrowed in even closer. “That our hearts are as far apart as our bodies. I feel sorry for her if she hasn't felt this way. I hope we never get that far apart.”

  “Me too.” I put my hand on hers. She kissed my cheek.

  About the same time my eyes finally drifted closed, the door opened. “Dude, I was totally wanting to see that movie again. I'm thinking, whoa, are we interrupting something?” I opened my eyes. Drew stood in the middle of the room, grinning down at us. Max sighed and rolled his eyes when I looked at him.

  “Just taking a nap,” I told them. Awkward.

  “Yeah, right,” Max said.

  “No, really,” I said. “Just tired.”

  Drew laughed. “I need more naps like that, man. I would ask you if you wanted to come with us, but I think you'll have more fun napping. If that's what you crazy kids are calling it.”

  I lifted my free hand and flipped him off. Nikki didn't even open her eyes, but I could feel her giggling. “What's the hold up here, Maxie?” I heard Jess's voice from the hallway. “Let's get over there before it's too late. What's taking you so long?”

  Max looked over his shoulder toward the hallway. “It'd take too long to explain. You might as well just come in here and be a voyeur too.”