Honest to God, I didn’t mean for it to happen. I won’t deny having some sort of curiosity about the man. But I didn’t . . . I just didn’t . . . I shook my head and closed my eyes.
Think, Kassidi. Think!
When he pulled me into the room, it actually saved my ass from further embarrassment. Because had he left me standing there, I would’ve retreated to my suite after a few minutes of not knowing just what to say. Feeling stupid. But I should’ve left and let the feelings of stupidity slap me in the face for the night!
What were you thinking?!
I knew what I was thinking. No, I didn’t. Not really. And let’s not even get on what I was feeling! Did I even know that?!
Dammit!
Why did he spare me the embarrassment? If he hadn’t opened that door. If he hadn’t allowed me in his room. I probably would’ve stood there for a few more seconds, then walked off with my tail tucked. Because, to tell the truth I only thought I knew what I was going to say. I hadn’t planned it out at all. And then when he stood there shirtless. I was right back on that stage again listening to Usher with this man’s body pressed against mine!
That fucking stage!
That’s what started it all.
Kassidi, what did you do, girl? What did you do?!
Stop asking that shit! You already know what you did!
The electric pull toward him was so strong. As soon as he opened that door, there was a thick fog of fucking heat standing in between us. It was like an open abyss that I was supposed to walk through to become engulfed in hot-ass sex. And it was. Damnit. It was. I didn’t fight at all. What I fought were the feelings that sat on my shoulders all the while he was on stage and when we sat at that table and I got an even closer look at him than I did at the meet & greet. There’s never been anything sexier to me than fucking a fine man. There was nothing like it. To have somebody as good-looking as him take total control of my body and do whatever he wanted to do to it. Yes, it was amazing.
What the fuck?!
You’re getting married!
You’re getting married and you fucked another man!
You laid down with another man. He touched you.
You touched him. Sex. With someone else, Kassidi.
Reality was slowly settling in. Not like it hadn’t tried a few times since I got back in my room showered, slipped into sleep clothes and then sat Indian style in the center of the large king-sized bed—contemplating. Reality would set in and then the memories of the moment with him would push their way through. And then I’d be back there again, in that bed, in that room . . . with him.
It all felt surreal as I sat there evaluating my actions. My indiscretion. With a sexy-ass male exotic dancer. Who pulled me into his room with no qualms. Had to be something that he did all the damn time. It meant nothing to him.
But why should it, Kassidi?! Y’all are strangers!
It was one last indiscretion. Stop reading so much into it.
Men do it all the time. It’s not like you’re a cheater!
You slipped. You had been drinking. You were . . . tipsy.
The liquor led your actions, not lust.
Lies!
Fuck!
What am I gonna do?! It was hitting me from all angles. I scooted across the bed and slowly placed my feet onto the soft carpet. I walked over to the window and stared out at the beauty of the pre-dawn skies. The lights fluttered across the city, cars out and about . . . still. Vegas really was the city that didn’t sleep. Vegas really was the city of sin—where I’d sinned. But did I? I’m not married yet. So, did I really commit sin? It’s debatable.
No, Kassidi, it’s not debatable. Not in the eyes of anyone judging.
Fuck judgment!
Fuck it all!
It was one time.
I wrapped myself in my arms and allowed myself to become more and more mesmerized with the view outside.
I didn’t know how long I had been under hypnosis, when I heard a rapture at the door of my suite. My eyes narrowed in confusion. I wondered who it could be, at almost four in the damn morning. Then, for some reason, it hit me and I smiled. It had to be him. But why would that make me happy? It shouldn’t. I should’ve been grooming my mental. I should’ve been putting myself in mode. In mode of washing that small piece of my life down the drain. Never thinking of it again, never feeling it again.
I took slow, baby steps toward the door. Because if it was him, I honestly didn’t know what I’d do. Would I give into sexual desire and fall into an encore of what already took place? What would I say? Would I tell him that what we did, as magnificent as it was, never should’ve happened? To let that one episode be what it was?
When the knocking came again, I inhaled a deep breath and added a bit of pep in my step. It’s now or never, I told myself as I opened the door.
-27-
CYN
It had been a long night/early morning for Cyn, and several glasses of wine, too many. Before drinking herself into a stupor, she had promised herself that she would do all she could to let go of the memories of Jamie. She would let go of what once was and move on. Moving on is what she needed to do. Holding onto a man that had already tossed her to the side, was unhealthy. She wanted him gone from her. But after awakening the next morning, she realized that her newfound courage, was all smoke and mirrors. She hated herself for it. She couldn’t believe that she was that weak for anything—let alone a man! Let alone, Jamie! He had hurt her more than any man in her life, before or after him, yet she couldn’t shake him. And now she had finally gotten to lay eyes on Kassidi. To hear her voice. To see how she moved. To see the allure! She had seen the woman in all her glory.
Boy, oh boy, had she.
Kassidi was nice enough, but her being nice, didn’t mean that Cyn would play nice. She had a plan of her own that she would play out . . . without including Aja. She no longer needed Aja. She didn’t want to include Aja in her plan because Aja was acting off of hate for the woman, as well as her territorial nature, where her brother was concerned. Cyn hadn’t been exempt from it when she dated Jamie. It was just that she played the game that Aja and Gloria wanted her to play it—kissing their asses. It had gotten her nowhere in the end. She deduced that Kassidi had done the exact opposite and it was why they wanted her gone.
She would be gone, alright. Cyn planned to see to that. She had a week to work with and needed to work quickly. Time was of the essence. Smiling to herself, Cyn pulled out her phone while she walked the hallway. There was a heightened air of confidence in her strut, brought about by excitement, hope, and plenty of faith.
“Time to put the nail in the coffin!” she sang right as the other line picked up.
“Open the door . . .” she spoke into her cellphone. “I need to talk to you really fast.”
It took a few minutes longer than Cyn had the patience for, but the door finally opened.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Cyn?”
“Is that any way to talk to your sister, Marco?” she asked sauntering in past him. “Come chat with me for a few minutes.”
Marco stood vigil at the door, clearly not on board. “Chat? Have you lost your damn mind? Fuck no, Cyn.”
“Aww, come on, Marc,” she whined, flashing a victorious smile near the living room area of the suite.
Marco finally caved, and walked to where she was. He was barely awake, and in need of rest.
“Make this shit quick, Cyn. I was almost in a deep one.”
“Really?” She looked around the room, and then bent her neck slightly to look down the hall toward the bathroom. “How deep? Are we not alone?”
He shot her a knowing look, his glare sending the message that she better talk fast.
“Okay, okay,” she said, taking a seat on the large sofa in the living room.
“What are you sitting down for, Cyn? I’m serious. I’m not about to have a long-ass conversation with you. I’m tired as fuck.”
“Hmmm . . . tired as fuck? Or tired
from fuck…ing?”
“Okay. That’s it,” he said, walking back toward the door to escort her out. “Come on,” he gestured. “Let’s go.”
“Just one sec. I need a huge favor from you. Like, huuuge.”
“Will that get you the fuck outta here?”
Cyn laughed wickedly. “Yep. Swear,” she promised, tilting her head to the side, a huge grin on her face.
“I don’t get why you had to come here to ask for a favor, but you need to hurry up or I’m going to get in bed and you’ll be talking to your damn self.”
“So, I was a big girl, and got to meet her.”
“Her who?” Marco asked.
“You know who I’m talkin’ about,” Cyn shot slyly. “Kassidi.”
“So goddamn what, Cyn? Is that why you’re here?” Marco queried, his irritation growing.
Cyn scooted back into comfort. She had plans to stay for a while whether Marco wanted her to or not. She sat her Michael Kors bag to the right of her on the sofa and crossed her leg.
“Jamie couldn’t handle an alpha female, one who had her shit together. One who didn’t need him to complete her. One that was a boss in her own right.”
Marco sat on the adjacent sofa, his head leaned all the way back, his eyes closed. “Cyn. Tell me what the hell is so different about this, and what you talked about on fuckin’ Friday?!”
“I watched her last night, Marco . . .”
“What the fuck, Cyn?” Marco said, in frustration. “You’re not serious.”
“I am. Marc, you don’t understand. I know you’re annoyed, but just listen. I have a chance to do this right. I have a chance to be with the man that I want. You’ve never been in love so you wouldn’t understand.”
“I understand that you’re better than this. Fuck. Why don’t you?”
“Marco, that girl isn’t ready for marriage. I watched her.”
“Sounds more like stalking at this point, Cyn.”
“It’s not stalking. You know me better than that.”
“I thought I did.” Marco stood up, finally fed up with whatever it was that Cyn came for. “Cyn, it’s disrespectful as hell that you’d come here for bullshit. For real,” he said, walking to the other side of his suite.
“But I have a reason. I’ll let you get back to sleep in a few minutes. I promise. Sit back down, please.”
Marco leaned against the wall nearest him and folded his arms over his chest. “No. You can say what you have to say with me over here.”
“Okay, okay.” Cyn retrieved her purse and clutched it in her arms. “I just need a favor.”
Marco yawned loudly and leaned against the wall. “What’s the favor?”
“Are you gonna do it?”
“I don’t know what ‘it’ is yet. I’m not just gonna throw out a goddamn ‘Yes’ to some mystery shit, Cyn. Are you fuckin’ drunk? Because if so, you can let the sofa out and take your ass to sleep. I don’t have time for these damn games.”
“You’re annoyed. I’m sorry.” Cyn stood from the sofa and walked over to where Marco was. “I’m out of your hair in five seconds.”
“Five . . . four . . .” he started to countdown.
“Three—two—one. There I finished for you,” she said, giggling.
“But you’re still here.”
Cyn walked to the door and grabbed the handle. “And I’m keeping my promise. But to get me outta here, you just agreed to tell Jamie that you slept with his fiancé.”
“Oh, hell n—”
“See you later!” she sang, on her way out the door before Marco could issue a full objection.
-28-
KASSIDI
It seemed to have dragged, but Sunday finally rolled around. The time to go home was getting nearer. I found myself one time too many, wondering whether or not Graffiti had checked out, or if he was still two doors over. Ugh! I even wondered whether he brought another woman back to his suite after last night’s show. He had for sure been a major part of my Las Vegas experience. Once I had the time to reconcile what had taken place and what I’d done, the old adage, “There’s no place like home,” rang out in my head and my heart. I needed my life back. The life that I knew and was accustomed to.
My suite was beautiful and felt like a small version of home away from home. I got chocolate courtesy of the Mandarin, a free massage, free dinner, and two bottles of Champagne. I felt like royalty. They wanted to wish the bride-to-be well, on her new life journey. It was special and appreciated. The Mandarin knew how to treat a girl. I’d be walking away knowing that I needed to do more getting away.
I lay in bed debating whether to get dressed for breakfast with the girls, or just watch a little bit of television and wait for checkout to creep up. But as I was weighing my options, the room’s phone rang on the side of the bed.
“What do y’all want?” I said into the receiver. “I’m thinking I might stay in and just be ready at checkout.”
“Stay in for what?”
“Jamie?” I said, shocked to hear his voice. A thin smile formed on my lips. Guilt? Surprise? I didn’t know.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Oh, hey. I thought for sure you were one of the girls seeing if I was coming down for breakfast. Maybe they decided to sleep in for a bit.”
“Y’all are headed back to the Bay in a little while, right?”
“Yep. I’m so ready to come home, baby. This has been fun, but home is where I want to be. How you been?”
“I’ve been good. Had a good time with the fellas.”
“That’s good.” Then came the question that I felt guilty for asking. “You behaved yourself, right?”
Ugh! The nerve!
“I always do.”
“You good?” I asked him, due to the dryness in his voice. He didn’t really sound like himself.
“I’m good. Just wanted to call. Hadn’t talked to you since we texted on Friday. Was just seeing how things went.”
“Because we said that we wouldn’t talk, silly. That’s the reason we haven’t talked. Remember? Trust me, I wanted to call you to see what you were up to. But I figured we have the rest of forever.”
“The rest of forever. Absolutely.”
“Babe . . . are you okay?” I asked him, worried. “You don’t really . . . sound like . . . you know. You sound a little dry.”
“I’m okay. If I sound dry. It’s just because I’m tired.”
“Okay. Well, get your energy up because I’ll be seeing you in a few hours. And you know what that means, right?”
“I know exactly what it means.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you in a few hours. And baby . . .”
“Yeah.”
“I’m glad you called.”
After our phone call was over I got the strangest feeling about Jamie calling. He didn’t sound like himself. Sure, he said that he was tired, but I didn’t know if I bought that. The tone was off. Not even like he was happy to speak to me, but like he was dreading speaking to me. Like he was holding back on something. Or maybe I was just reading too much into things. Something was nagging at me and I couldn’t stop it.
When I couldn’t quiet my brain, I went ahead and got out of bed and headed into the shower. It wasn’t until I got in the shower alone with the serenity of the water that I figured it out. It wasn’t Jamie at all . . . it was me. I was reading too much into it because of what I had done.
Somehow, I needed to get past it and get it out of my head. I couldn’t take any form of guilt home with me.
Release, I told myself. It happened, it’s done. Go start your new life.
-29-
MARCO
All while Cyn was pleading her case, my mind was wandering. I was half-listening to what she was saying and half-flashing back to the other night. Hearing stories about people cheating before they got married wasn’t uncommon, but actually being a part of it was some other shit. I had slept with a lot of women, but never knowingly another man’s woman. It was unspoken bro-cod
e in my book. I didn’t even plan to sleep with the Kassidi lady. That just happened. She wanted it. The desire reeked from her like a downpour of rain. When I opened my door and she was right there, the only thing left to do was give her what she came for, and let our bodies do the talking. She was sexy as fuck, and I was horny.
“Marcoo . . .” Cyn said, catching me red-handed not listening to her.
“What’s up?” I asked casually. “I’m listening.”
“No, you’re not!” Cyn snapped. “Your head is somewhere else.”
I gulped down more of my orange juice and then sat my glass on top of the table and picked up a piece of bacon. The spread in front of us was something of a feast. Cyn’s cook had made us brunch. Cyn knew that the only way she was going to get me to her house was with food. I was dead set on going home. It was Sunday and I didn’t have another performance until the weekend.
“You’re right, Cyn. You fuckin’ crashed on my sleep yesterday, with crazy people shit. I shouldn’t even be giving you the time of day. So, you’re right. I’m not listening. Shit, I shouldn’t be lying.”
“You’re right,” she agreed. “You shouldn’t be lying. And you could fix that by telling the truth about—”
“I’m not doin’ it.”
“Marco . . . whyyy?!” she asked, her voice filled with desperation. “I’ve never told you no. Not ever.” She batted her eyelashes innocently and had a sinful smirk on her face.
“What’s with you?” I asked her, my mouth full of eggs and toast. “I haven’t seen you this happy since . . . forever. The fuck is up with you?”
She lowered her eyes and played with her fork, tapping against the edge of her plateful of food.
“He’s gonna come back to me, Marco.”
“Oh cool. To get you out the recycle bin?”
“Damn, Marc! Why do you have to say that?!” she pouted.
“Because I figure if I say it that harsh, then you’ll see that what the fuck you’re tryin’ to do is stupid. And you’re far from stupid.”
The Graffiti Effect Page 12