by Diane Leyne
“It’s what I need. And I trust you more than anyone I know.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Alex realized that they were the literal truth. He saw her give a quick smile before she turned to the counter and picked up some scissors. Alex inserted the ear plugs while he watched her fashion the blindfold.
She moved to stand beside him again and carefully placed the strip of material in front of his eyes, fastening it snugly behind his head. He rolled his eyes to the left and right, up and down, and other than a small sliver of light below, he couldn’t see a thing.
Almost immediately, the panic started to rise again. He could feel his heart starting to race as he found against the need to rip off the blindfold. It was a losing battle, but then something unexpected happened. Lena moved to stand between his knees, wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him close to her. She held him close and rubbed his shoulders, his face pressed against her breasts. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tight like she was his only anchor.
He could take pain. In fact, he had learned that he could take a lot of pain. It was her gentleness that unnerved him. He found that once his tears started flowing, they didn’t want to stop. His shoulders shook as he sobbed out his fears.
He couldn’t quite hear what she was saying, but he could feel the vibrations against his skin and the feel of her hands on his back, and he felt the panic subside as she rocked him gently and pressed her cheek against the top of his head. He held her tightly to him as the tears streamed down his face.
Finally, they subsided, and she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, before pulling away. He realized he desperately wanted to kiss her back, and was about to pull her back to him when he realized that he had become aroused. He placed his hands over the bulge in the throw. Could he embarrass himself any further in her presence?
* * * *
And then it was all over. Alex shifted back to human after going through two sets of X-rays, and then Lena had helped him wrap the throw back around his body and then guided him back to the bathroom where his clothes were. She removed the blindfold before she quickly left him alone to get dressed.
He moved as fast as possible and was sitting in the waiting room pretending to thumb through a magazine when Lena returned. She wouldn’t say what she thought, but he knew she seemed somewhat hopeful but trying not to show anything to get his hopes up, or at least that was how he chose to interpret her expression.
To keep his mind off what she was doing, he’d spent the whole time he was being poked and prodded trying to think of how to ask her to have breakfast with him at the cafe. He knew she was close with Penelope, and if they went there, it would be a clear signal to Lena that he was going to try to be more social and start getting out instead of spending all of his time home alone.
Of course, the way the day had gone so far with him puking, crying and then getting a hard-on in front of her, even if she felt sorry enough to go to breakfast with him, he’d probably get food poisoning and maybe slice a finger or two cutting up his food. Then on the way back to his truck, he’d probably trip on the sidewalk and break his other leg while landing on her when he fell and break her leg, too, just as the icing on the cake.
He was all the way to the door, holding a cane that Lena had pressed on him in one hand, the other on the handle of the door. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.
“Lena…” He couldn’t do it.
“You still here? I’m starved, and you seem to have lost your breakfast. Want to come with me and grab a bite at Penelope’s?”
Chapter Eight
It was a beautiful warm morning, so they sat at a table outside, ordering from a young waiter that Lena didn’t recognize. He brought them some coffee, and while waiting for their food, they made small talk so banal they could have been strangers sharing a table. Lena found herself telling him funny stories about her veterinary practice and generally catching him up on pop culture, which he was woefully behind on, having spent the better part of a decade in hell holes all around the world. She was amused that he was so shocked by the rise of being “famous for being famous” and all of the “true life” reality shows.
Since he’d been back in the States for more than a month, she refused to believe that he hadn’t seen any of these shows.
He finally admitted to having watched some of these shows when he’d been holed up in Luke’s apartment. He liked the travel one, hated all of the housewives, and reluctantly admitted to getting hooked on the dancing one.
He also admitted to watching Survivor a couple of times since getting home but was disgusted by the whining. According to Alex, those people didn’t know deprivation. No matter how hungry they got, no one was going to let them starve. And the complaining about the food challenge. There were times when he’d have given a prayer of thanks to have those worms and grubs to eat. Ingrates.
But he laughed as he complained, and Lena started to relax. He’d scared the shit out of her in her office. At first when he’d puked in her waiting room, she thought he was sick or just really nervous, but then came the panic attack, and that was when she realized that he was absolutely terrified. And it wasn’t just because he was afraid to hear the worst. It was more than that. He was absolutely petrified by the thought of going into a medical exam room. The sights, the sounds, the smells, all of these had combined to trigger some sort of post-traumatic-stress response in him. What the hell had happened to him?
She’d noticed his erection as well. He’d gotten hard back at her place too, and it was nice to know that his equipment was still functional. Not from any personal interest, she told herself. Purely from a medical professional’s viewpoint, the patient would be a lot more stressed if he didn’t have that type of release available to him and had nothing at all to do with the memories she had of long hours making love with him, sometimes with his brothers but other times just the two of them.
She tried not to look relieved when Penelope finally made her way out to their table bringing their food out herself. The place was busy, or Pen would have been out sooner. Or maybe Pen had just gotten tactful? Nah, that wasn’t blunt, outspoken, outrageous Penelope. Whatever the reason, Lena was grateful to have a little time alone with Alex, a sentiment she hadn’t thought she’d ever express again. She needed to reassure herself that he was back under control. If he seemed to be on the verge of another panic attack, she wanted to get him out of there before anyone they knew showed up, but so far, he seemed okay, except for the slight shakiness when he picked up his coffee cup, but then he started holding it with two hands, which seemed to help.
Other than that and some residual paleness and the shaky hands, he seemed fine. If she hadn’t seen it for herself, she would never believe that this very confident man had been crying in her arms an hour earlier. Whatever had happened to him overseas, it had left some very deep scars. It was hard to stay mad at him over the pain he caused her when it was evident that he’d paid a very high price for the choices he’d made.
Not surprisingly, Penelope sat down with them to get the scoop on Alex’s return, but not before giving him a big hug and then a punch in the arm.
“Ouch.”
“You deserve a heck of a lot more than that, bub. Besides abandoning my girl here, you’ve spent how long, fourteen years in as a soldier. You could have come back with fewer extremities than you started with or with your good looks blown to bits or not come back at all. Do you know what it was like for everyone? There was no war when you first left, but then one thing after another and there were all of these reports of our boys dying over there, and we didn’t even know where you were to know if you were at risk, you fucking asshole!”
Penelope wiped her tears away and punched him again in the arm again before leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“Don’t ever do that to us again.”
“No, ma’am.” Alex’s words were meek, but his tone was amused, and the expression on his face showed how much he was touched by her words. “I don’
t plan on ever leaving Harmony again, not unless my being here would cause problems for people.”
“Why the hell would your being here cause…” Penelope’s voice trailed off as she intercepted Alex’s quick look up at Lena. Damn. Pen was far too perceptive. Lena decided that a change of subject was in order but couldn’t figure out how to do it.
“Lena. Tell this lunkhead here that you are fine with him being back.”
“I’m fine with the lunkhead being back.”
“Ha-ha.” Penelope looked down at Lena’s now-empty plate. “That’s all you are having, toast and fruit? At least let me bring you some eggs.”
“Not this time, hon. I’ve got my first patient coming soon, and I have to go get ready.” Lena looked over at Alex. “Lunkhead here, on the other hand, needs to put on some weight. Maybe you can convince him to stay for seconds?”
* * * *
Alex watched Lena hurry away, wishing he was going with her instead of sitting on the patio with Penelope and wondering how long he had to stay before it would be polite to leave. It started with a trickle once Lena left his table, and grew to an almost constant stream. Penelope vacated her seat and started serving coffee to the people waiting to talk to him. Most of them were just happy to see him, and more than a few had offered to buy him a drink a Lupo’s.
After half an hour, he was finally alone again when Penelope delivered him a fresh cup of coffee.
“How the hell did all those people know I was here? I feel like everyone I ever knew in Harmony came by.”
“Oh, it’s easy. I made a few calls after you arrived.” Penelope looked smug and then burst into laughter. Reluctantly, Alex found himself chuckling along, first to be polite, and then he was surprised to find it morphing into a genuine laugh.
“I guess I deserved that.”
“Yes you did. People have missed you, worried about you, been mad at you, but mostly just wanted to see you back home safe and sound.”
“Well, I’m safe, but not entirely sound.” Alex rubbed his thigh, looking down at his hand to avoid looking at Penelope. He was afraid that he’d start crying again. Big bad Alpha crybaby, that was what he’d become.
He braced himself and looked up, placing one hand on hers.
“Thank you.”
Penelope looked like she was tearing up herself, but quickly pulled herself together as she looked over his shoulder. Alex pasted a smile to his face and turned to greet the newcomers.
“Hey, brother.” Will walked up to the patio with Joe following behind him. They each gave Penelope a quick peck on the cheek and sat down at Alex’s table. “Thanks for the call, Pen.”
“Ditto,” concurred Joe, and then they both ordered the Big Breakfast, which was basically one of everything. Alex looked down at his plate and realized he’d finished his eggs but was surprised to find that he was still hungry. He’d had no appetite for so long.
“I’ll have the same, Pen. And some more coffee please?”
She grinned at him. “Whatever you boys want. I’ll go put your order in. And I should be getting back to work, now that he has someone else here to defend him from the hordes who’ve been dropping by to greet the prodigal son.”
Alex felt a band constrict around his heart. He realized that she’d stayed with him through all the greetings, not to be nosy but to make sure that things went smoothly. She’d hurried people along and made sure no one spent too much time with him, tiring him out, and she’d made sure the conversation had flowed and been kept light, steering around any conversational land mines. It had also helped him when people saw that Lena’s best friend was happy to see him back.
What the hell had he been thinking staying away for so long?
* * * *
Joe looked at Alex and then over to Will and back to Alex. He hadn’t seen his big brother look like this since he’d been home. He’d sat home in the dark staring at the television, often in wolf-dog form. Sometimes he’d disappear for a few hours but would never tell them where he went.
When he’d come to the club night before last, Joe had seen a glimpse of the old Alex, but once they’d realized that Lena was there, he saw Alex’s courage fail him, and big brother had metaphorically turned tail and run. But now he was sitting out on a patio in the center of town and making small talk with a regular trickle of people who wanted to stop and say hello.
He was eating, too. Penelope had taken away one plate, but when she’d delivered three Big Breakfasts, Alex had tucked into his with a gusto Joe hadn’t seen since he got home. Whatever he’d been up to this morning had put him in a really good mood. Joe thought about how to word his question.
“So, where the hell did you go so early this morning?” asked Will. Joe laughed. His twin had no worries about tactful phrasing.
“I met Lena down at her clinic. She took some X-rays of my leg in human and shifted form. She knows a doctor who treats shifters, an orthopaedic specialist. No guarantees, but she thinks he may be able to help me.”
Joe had just taken a sip of coffee and now found himself choking on it. Will not so helpfully pounded on his back while Alex smirked at him. The bastard had known the impact his words would have.
“Seriously?” Will’s tone was incredulous, reflecting Joe’s own emotions.
“Bro, we’ve been trying to get you to see someone since you got home. What changed your mind? Not that I’m complaining, but what happened?”
“Lena.”
“You know, Alex, Lena’s a vet, not a people doctor.”
“Yes, Will, I know what kind of medico Lena is. But I’m not always people. Besides, she didn’t give me a choice. She said that if I didn’t show up this morning, she was coming by with a leash and dragging me down to her clinic.”
“She’d have done it, too.” Will laughed. “And I’d have paid good money to see that. I was disappointed that I missed the spectacle of Samantha walking Gabe, but seeing Lena walk you on a leash would have totally made up for it.”
“Sorry to have to disappoint you, baby brother. Another time, perhaps.”
“Yeah, well, if it ever does happen, I’d better get to see it. The big bad Alpha on a leash. I’ll get a photo, and it’ll be my Christmas card.”
“Shut up, Will." Joe's tone was annoyed. "Alex, seriously, how did you end up at Lena’s clinic? You didn’t even want to face her last week.”
“Long story. Short story is that she’s sent off my X-rays and now we play the waiting game.” He put down his fork. “Now that hit the spot. I think I’m going to head over to McAllisters and see if Gabe’s around. See you later, boys. Maybe I’ll drop into Lupo’s tonight. I can help behind the bar if you like.”
Without waiting for a reply, Alex levered himself out of his seat and picked up the cane.
“Where did you get that? We tried to get you to use one…” Joe’s voice trailed off. “Lena.”
Alex grinned. “Yeah, she can be kind of bossy sometimes.”
Will and Joe looked at each other and then at Alex’s departing back. He was limping and a bit awkward with the cane, but he was moving well.
“Well, that was interesting,” offered Will.
“Yeah, I wonder if that’s really Alex or another shifter borrowing Alex’s face. Big brother has not been that upbeat since he’s been back. We should have forced him to see Lena when he arrived.”
“I wonder how this is going to impact us?” wondered Will.
“It isn’t all about us, you know.”
“I know, and I’m happy that Lena and Alex seem to have reached some kind of detente, but I’m also afraid of what that means for us. She’s been back two years, and it took us almost a year to get back in her bed. Right now, we spend part of the week together, but that's not enough. I’m hoping this will be the first step in the four of us becoming a mated family, but I also don’t want to scare her off. What if she doesn’t want him back and then decides to break up with us?”
“Don’t borrow trouble, Will. We’ve already arranged to go
over to her place on Sunday for brunch, and you know if Alex wasn’t here that would mean spending the afternoon in bed with her. I say that when we get there tomorrow, we whisk her straight to the bedroom and fuck her brains out and remind her just how good it has been between the three of us this last year.”
“What about Alex?”
Joe had been pondering that question ever since Penelope called and told them that Alex was at the cafe with Lena. He loved his big brother and sincerely hoped this was the first step in him getting back to normal and taking up his rightful place in the family, but he also wasn’t willing to jeopardize his and Will’s relationship with Lena again.
“We don’t tell Alex. I think we need this time alone with her. We may not get another opportunity.”
Before Will could reply, Penelope approached the table and set down the check. Will picked it up and checked the total.
“Isn’t this a bit high for two big breakfasts?”
“Three big breakfasts, bacon and eggs, toast and fruit, and about twenty cups of coffee. Alex said you’d take care of it.” Penelope chuckled. “Have a nice day, boys.”
Chapter Nine
Saturday passed quickly for Lena. The clinic was packed as usual since Saturday was an easier day for most people to get to the vet’s, but also because people kept dropping by wanting to talk about Alex’s return. Once she’d realized just how long the day was going to be, she’d begun worrying about Otis. In the end, she’d texted Alex and asked him to collect Otis and take him home with him and bring him back on Sunday. Not surprisingly, Alex had agreed.
And that was when she’d seen the text from Joe confirming that brunch was still on for Sunday. She immediately texted back that it was. She hadn’t seen them the previous week because of the full moon. She always avoided wolves when she could at that time, just on principle. She’d made an exception for Ginger and Penelope, and mostly because she wanted the chance to hang out with Samantha. Anyone with the nerve to leash an Alpha was okay in her book.