Body, Ink, and Soul

by Jude Ouvrard

  I decided to ignore him. I didn't want to play games with him. I wanted to get the tattoo and get the hell out of here.

  Ten silent minutes later, he was finished and he placed a bandage over the tattoo. He explained how I had to clean it and what type of lotion I should apply. His voice was flat and emotionless, and it was apparent he was treating me as just another client. Since the mention of Tristan, his mood had changed, but what else was I supposed to say or do? I wasn’t going to get involved with him.

  ''How much do I owe you?'' I asked as I got off the chair. The tattoo was uncomfortable and the skin was burning.

  He took the remaining ink and gloves and threw them in the trash. ''Nothing,'' he muttered, clenching his jaw.

  ''I beg your pardon?'' There was no way I was accepting a free tattoo.

  ''It’s free. It took me twenty minutes and I wasn't even on shift. I did it for the hell of it - to spend time with you. To get to know you,” he said with a shrug. “So, no charge - it was my pleasure.'' He forced a smile and I could tell he was angry with me.

  ''Can I at least tip you?'' I asked.

  ''I won't smile for you,'' he said, a reference to the first time we met. We exchanged a tiny smile anyway.

  I slipped forty bucks out of my handbag and placed it on his work station. I didn't give him time to say anything before I grabbed my things and joined Bekka and Val. I could see the unspoken questions in their eyes. I really wished they could be more subtle.

  We waved to Kyle, saying goodbye and thanks, and left. I knew my friends would ask for an explanation, but I didn't know have a clue what to say, I didn't even know what had just happened. It was only a moment we’d shared, but he made me so angry. There was something about him which I didn’t seem able to resist, and I didn't know exactly what it was. He seemed to have direct access to my nerves and I hated it. I seemed to like being around him, but the smallest thing would turn me into a bitch, which wasn’t like me. This man was different in so many ways and I didn’t think we could possibly find any common ground.

  After a quiet walk to the car, I knew the questions would start any minute. Things like this never happened to me, so the beginning of an inquisition was only a matter of time.

  ''Was that the guy from the club? The one who sits and watches you?'' Val demanded.

  ''Yeah, that's him. I swear I had no clue he works there.''

  ''Maybe it was fate. Kyle said he’d never seen Levi act like that with a girl before - he was in shock the whole time he was tattooing me,'' Bekka laughed. ''We were watching both of you and, I don't know, I can't explain it. There’s just an undeniable connection between the two of you. Don’t tell me you can’t feel it!”

  ''Yeah, I do, but I don't want the connection. I can’t trust myself when I’m around him.''

  Bekka sighed. ''You always go for the good guys, don't you? Maybe it's time for a change and I think he's perfect for you!''

  ''You saw him for all of twenty minutes. How can you tell he's perfect for me?'' I asked through clenched teeth. I didn’t ask for, nor did I need, their opinions.

  ''He likes you - that much is clear. And he's freaking hot! He spends night after night at the club, which is full of hot girls, and all he sees is you! From what Kyle told us, there’s something about Levi which people find hard to ignore. He seems to attract people, and now, you’re attracting him to you. You can’t live the life your mom wants you to live, Nix. Live for yourself. Have you ever asked yourself what you want, and not what you were told to want?''

  ''He's bad news. The tattoos... he... I can’t... okay? I'm with Tristan now.''

  ''I hope it won't be too late when you wake up from your perfect little dream life.'' Bekka muttered.

  ''What the hell, Bekka? Are you on his side now?''

  ''Between him and Tristan? Yes, I'm on his side,” she said, her tone confident. ''Yes, Tristan is cute and smart but there's something about Levi...”

  I was starting to get upset with them. I wanted to let this go and keep the good mood we’d had. It wasn't exactly how I’d planned my tattoo experience to work out, nor did I want this discussion when Val was leaving the next day.

  ''I know you both love me, but I really like Tristan! I want to see where it could lead.''

  ''It's your life, Nix. Do what you want,'' Val said, cupping my cheek. ''I just don't want to see you get hurt or have regrets.''

  ''We both know how it was with your mom, Nix. We just want you to live your life for you - spread your wings, have a little fun.''

  ''Thanks girls. I appreciate it. I really do,'' I said, hoping this was the end of the conversation. They were right - Mom had controlled my entire life. I was controlled by her fears of being abandoned. She taught me to always go for the safest option, never to take any risks. Tristan represented everything she wanted for me, and Levi, with his tattoos and bad boy attitude, was everything she’d warned me to stay away from. Men like Levi would always remind her of Brian, my biological dad. My dad hurt her and left scars on her heart and mind which she would never forget and never let go. Carlson loved her and she loved him back, but I was afraid she would always think about Brian. There was never any closure. He just disappeared and left her with me.

  When we got home, we had less than thirty minutes to get ready for work, so we had to hurry. I didn't want to wear jeans or work pants, I wanted something comfortable which would rub against the bandage. I opted for a stretch fuchsia cotton skirt and a tube top with the club’s name printed on the left side of my chest. Both of them clung to my body, making me feel a lot more self-conscious. The combination showed a lot more skin than I would have liked, but I worked in a club, so wearing a turtleneck wouldn't work. I brushed my long hair before braiding it. There was nothing I could do to make it presentable and braiding was always my emergency solution. I applied black eyeliner, refreshed my mascara and applied my favorite cherry red lip gloss. As usual, I was ready before Bekka and Val, so I grabbed my guitar and decided to play for a few minutes before we left.

  Valerie had already telephoned Tyler and given her notice, so tonight would be her last night. He was disappointed because we were a good team and he loved working with all three of us. He had extra staff coming in tonight and he wanted Bekka and me to pick our new partner. I was hoping for another girl, not that I would try to replace Val. It would never be the same, no matter who got the job.

  When they were finally ready to go, I put my guitar back on the stand and we walked out. Bekka had already removed her bandage and was wearing a tank top. Even with her skin still reddened from getting the tattoo done, the star looked great. I was too chicken to remove my bandage yet and it remained hidden under my skirt.

  As usual, the music was blasting in Bekka’s car. This time, we were subjected to a mix of rappers. It wasn't my favorite music, but it was alright. Bekka could drive, dance and rhyme all at the same time - she was a professional multi-tasker. I liked watching her, she was goofy and didn’t care at all about what people might think about her. If she was having fun, nobody was going to stop her. By the time we got to work, I was getting into the music and having fun with the girls. It was the beginning of what I hoped would be a nice evening.

  Inside the club, Tyler had decorated with balloons and light sticks. We didn't realize there was a theme tonight and I didn't remember seeing anything special on our schedule.

  ''Hey, girls!'' Tyler greeted us, as we walked into the employee room.

  ''Tyler,'' Bekka stepped closer to him, leaving Val and I behind. ''What's the occasion tonight?'' She placed her hands on his chest and he covered them with his.

  ''I just thought I could throw Val a little goodbye party.'' He crooked his left eyebrow towards us.

  ''You did all this for me? You didn't have to, but I'll enjoy my last night here even more now.'' Val smiled sweetly at him.

  Bekka was still staring at Tyler and I could feel the tension building between them. I motioned to Val, silently suggesting we should leave them alone
for a few minutes.

  We got behind the bar with the other bartenders. There was double the normal staff on duty - I guess Tyler really was planning on going all out for Val’s impromptu goodbye party. I helped get the bar ready to go, keeping an eye on the other staff. They all seemed to have experience - this shift was going to be a lot easier than I first thought.

  ''Nix, did you notice it's karaoke night tonight?''

  If there was one thing I feared in this world, it was karaoke. I turned around to look at the equipment on the stage, confirming Val’s observation. ''I won't sing,'' I snapped.

  ''I guess we'll see,'' Bekka laughed, and got back to her chores. She knew how much this would kill me.

  There were two types of karaoke singers. The first group were the drunken ones, completely aware that their voices sounded like a beat up 1990 Toyota Tercel. The second type was formed by tipsy girls who really could sing, but didn't have the guts to sing without the courage gained from a few shots of Tequila. In both cases, I found them lame and I had a strong urge to roll my eyes at every contestant. This was the very reason I despised karaoke.

  My excuse? I just don’t like singing in front of an audience. I didn't mind Val or Bekka listening to me, but anyone else felt too intimidating. As much as I dreaded karaoke, I had a terrible feeling in my gut that liquor-induced singing would be in my immediate future.

  Chapter Four

  It quickly became evident that Tyler was giving us a night off - he just wanted us to stay at the club and enjoy our last night together. He knew how close we were and how difficult it was going to be for us to be apart.

  The club was almost at maximum capacity. It was summer and all the students were out of school; consequently it was a busy night. The music was loud, I’d never seen a night quite like this one. People were lined up four deep at the bar to get their drinks, giving the bar staff no time to catch a breath between customers. There were shots and beers all over the tables. Everyone was having fun and the ambiance was perfect.

  Nobody had approached the karaoke machine and I was thankful.

  Val and I were dancing among all our regular customers. It was great to be off-duty and enjoying a night with them. We spotted Bekka and Tyler talking, their bodies inclined towards each other - closer than I’d ever seen them before. Bekka was running her finger up and down his chest as they spoke. She was playing a game – being Bekka, the seductress. It was pretty obvious she had feelings for Tyler, because normally she was much more reserved. Val was just as surprised as I was, when Tyler leaned in and they shared their first kiss. And it wasn’t a simple first kiss, it was as hot as hell! Bekka pulled him closer and they kissed for a very long time, neither of them coming up for air. Bekka was gripping his shirt and holding him in place, not letting him go.

  When they finally did stop kissing, Bekka couldn't stop smiling. I watched them for a little while, as they chatted and laughed together. She seemed more than happy - ecstatic would be a better word to describe her. It made me wish Tristan was here tonight, so I could kiss him again. I hadn’t talked to him before coming to work, and I considered calling him now, to see what he was up to. I decided to text - maybe he would come if I invited him.

  Nix: Big night at the club! You should come... please?

  Tristan: Yeah, I’ll be there soon. C-ya babe.

  I smiled when I read his reply. He was really coming to see me! I thought things were going well between us. He liked me, I could feel it in his kisses. I couldn't wait to see if there would be more. Hopefully, there would be, and next time they wouldn’t be so rushed. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, I wanted to feel him close to me. My desire for this relationship to go somewhere - to progress to more was growing ever stronger. I didn’t want to just prove the girls wrong - I was meant to be with Tristan... not Levi, I was certain about that.

  I offered a round of shots to Val and she accepted right away. Her night had already started and she was in party mode - nothing could stop her. On my side, I needed to relax, leave the anxiety behind me. I opted for a few Jim Beam Black shots. I liked bourbon and this one tasted good - a full bodied flavor with smooth caramel and a touch of warm oak. It was my favorite.

  I felt the warm liquid burning as it ran down my throat. I wanted more, but I knew better. I didn't want to be drunk before Tristan arrived. I’d had four shots. Already my arms felt heavy and the tips of my fingers tingled. I was tired from the emotional day and the alcohol was soothing.

  The girls and I ended up on the dance floor, dancing like no one was watching. Our hips were following the beat to a Beyoncé song. We sang and laughed. Dancing wasn’t something I was very comfortable with, but I let the music and alcohol control my body and it became easy. It was the beginning of a great night. Needing a little break, I went to the restroom to check on my tattoo. The bandage was still holding in place, regardless of the crazy dance moves. I hoped Levi wasn't going to show up. I couldn't say I hated him, but there was something about him I just couldn't figure out and his temper during my appointment surprised me. One minute he was flirting and blowing air over my tattoo, and the next he was acting like he didn't want me there. I was confused and didn’t know what to expect from Levi the next time I saw him.

  If Tyler and Levi were friends like he implied, he most likely intended to show up tonight. I had never seen him before last week, before he asked me for a smile. Nothing made sense and it crossed my mind to ask Tyler. I walked over to him quickly. He held Bekka tightly in his arms. I figured he could tell by my expression that something was up. I had no poker face, it was always impossible for me to hide my feelings. This whole situation had me confused and I had to know who Levi was and what he wanted.

  ''Ty, can I ask you a question?'' My voice came out louder than I expected. Bekka looked straight at me - knowing I was up to something,that I had a plan and I had questions, lots of questions. Who was Levi? Where was he from? I had to know as much information as I could. He was intriguing, but also frustrating. We shared a love/hate type of connection, without the love. I hoped Tyler could confirm my belief that Levi was no good, and then I could just forget about him and concentrate on Tristan.

  ''Yeah. Sure,'' he frowned.

  ''Who’s Levi? Where’s he from? What's his story?'' I blurted out.

  ''That’s more like three questions, Nix. Why are you asking? He’s just a good friend of mine,'' Tyler replied, nonchalantly.

  “Why haven’t I seen him before he turned up last week?'' I pressed.

  ''He crashes here at night. He just came back to Seattle. He was on the East Coast for a few months and he doesn't have a place here anymore, so I offered him a bed.''

  ''What about the lawyer thing?''

  ''It’s not my story to tell, Nix.'' He patted my shoulder gently. ''Ask him - he won't bite.''

  Damn it! There was something there, something Levi apparently wanted to keep hidden, and I didn't like it. Why would someone spend all those years in law school, if the subject didn't interest him to begin with? Becoming a lawyer wasn't easy, as it required long hours spent studying. I’d once thought about going to law school, so I knew it was no laughing matter. It was definitely not something you got into, not unless you were sure you wanted to do it.

  Tyler and Bekka left me to my thoughts, working through the why’s and how’s. Despite my concerns, I was feeling mellow and my thinking was slowed down. Obviously the side effects of JB - it was messing with my ability to think logically. Just as I saw Levi walking into the club, with his dishevelled brown hair, I felt strong arms wrap around my waist. I stiffened automatically, wondering who the hell it was, but I still couldn’t stop staring at ink boy. He glanced up and our eyes locked. My beat increased in tempo. Levi had my brain scrambled – as much as I wanted to stay away from him, I also wanted to get to know him better. I wanted to learn what those tatts on his arms signified. I wanted to know why he was back in town. I wanted to know why he wasn’t practising law. Everything about him had me curious an
d wanting more.

  ''That's a very short skirt you have on tonight, Nix.'' Tristan murmured in my ear, before feather kissing my neck. I looked away from Levi, my cheeks heating and my body reacting to Tristan’s nearness.

  ''You scared me,'' I admitted.

  ''Your skin is so soft,'' he whispered. I turned around to look at him - he sounded different. ''You are so beautiful tonight, baby.''

  ''Are you drunk?'' I asked, with a giggle. I hadn't known him for very long and I’d never seen him like this before. ''You’re kind of cute.''

  He smiled a lopsided grin. ''I had a few drinks before I came here. So yes, it’s a possibility.'' He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. I nibbled on his bottom lip and he pulled me closer, devouring my mouth. He’d never kissed me in such an unrestrained manner before. My entire body lit up with excitement. He pulled back, offering me a smile. ''Do you want to dance with me?''

  ''I would love to,” I breathed.

  He led the way through the crowds to the dance floor. The sexual tension between us was so strong, more powerful than ever. His hands slid from my hips to the side of my breast and down to the small of my back. We laughed, kissed repeatedly, and smiled. We didn't do much talking, our bodies were in control, doing all the communicating for us.

  For the first time in months, I let myself go. I enjoyed myself, letting my walls down. I knew him – even if it was just a little, I knew him enough to feel safe. We danced until the DJ put on a rock song and then went straight to the bar and ordered another round of shots. Jim Beam and Tequila - I knew better than mixing alcohol, but I wanted to have a good time.

  I spotted Levi sitting at the end of the bar. When our eyes met, he saluted me with his hand, holding a bottle of beer. I nodded back. I remembered that I wanted to talk to him, but with Tristan’s cologne all over me, I didn't care anymore. I turned to Tristan, who’d taken his second shot, and he kissed me again. I could taste the tequila and lemon on his tongue. He kept his arms around my waist, one of his hands settled on my behind. It made me feel like I was his, that he wanted me and me alone. We were inseparable - repeatedly kissing with our tongues colliding, seeking out one another. His hands roamed across my body, touching my revealed skin. This had never happened to me before, and it should have been nerve wracking. I’d always thought of myself as a timid person, shy and not prone to public displays. Tonight was special, I didn’t care what other people though and he made me feel special.