Shattered (Devil's Horsemen MC Book 2)

by Brook Wilder

  “You’re mine,” he ground out, the sound of our flesh slamming together the only sounds in the room. “All mine.”

  “I’m yours,” I forced out as he groaned and let go, filling me.

  I hadn’t been made for anyone else but him.

  Neil collapsed on top of me, and I held him in place, my heart pounding loudly in my ears. That had been making love. That was not just sex, not to me. I had given him everything I had, including what was left of my heart.

  And while we hadn’t talked about it, I could see me getting pregnant with his child, feeling the tiny love that we had created swimming around in my belly. The moment he expressed the want to have a kid, I would get my IUD removed and we would go at it. I was that serious about him. Not even my brother’s death could tear us apart.

  It had only pushed us closer together.

  While I still wanted to find out who had shot Leo, I was nearly one hundred percent positive it couldn’t have been him. He wouldn’t have done something like that, not to Leo, and not to me.

  It was only after I was curled in his arms, drifting off to sleep, that I remembered I had forgotten to find out what was eating him.

  **

  The next day, I pulled out the cleaning supplies from the closet, attempting to keep myself busy. I couldn’t do anything in the shop. The insurance adjuster had called that morning to let me know they would be starting their investigation. Neil had all but threatened to tie me to a chair before he left, reminding me that someone was trying to kill me and that I needed to stay in his house, where it was safe.

  I didn’t want him to worry, so I agreed, not liking the shadows under his eyes. He was worried about something, and I didn’t need to add to his worry. Heck, we were all worried about something.

  Sighing, I cleaned the bathroom before moving on to the living room, sweeping the floor. In the daylight, I noticed that Neil had kept most of the stuff I had done in his house, including the vibrant pillows on the couch and the photo table near the door. It warmed my heart to know that, even though our relationship had become somewhat strained, he hadn’t gone about his life, giving up on us. Despite it all, I loved him more than anything, and once we had cleared Leo’s name, I wanted to work on this relationship. I didn’t feel it in my heart that Neil had killed Leo, and by the way he talked about Leo’s death, it only built on the fact that someone else had killed my brother.

  Not the man I loved.

  But first, we had to figure all those mysteries out.

  I looked at the coffee table, frowning as I realized that the box was gone. I knew without a doubt I had put it there the night before last. Maybe Neil had taken it with him to the clubhouse, as proof that Leo had been doing something in favor of the Horsemen and not against them.

  Well, maybe they could help decipher Leo’s letter and find a way to break into the box without the key. I hoped they could. I was ready to see what my brother didn’t want others to find, no matter which way it went.

  I just wanted all of this to be over with.

  Picking up a rag, I walked over to the photo table, taking a moment to look at the photos there. Neil had grumbled I was making his house more girly, but secretly I was under the impression that he didn’t care what I did to his house. The photo table had been one of the first changes I had made, wanting to give the house a personal feel with reminders of those that he loved the most. There were pictures of him and his mom, a wonderful woman who had been there for me and Leo more times than I could count. I knew he hadn’t told her about us yet, but I wondered what she would think about it. I knew Neil loved his mom, and if she didn’t like the idea of us together, then we wouldn’t be together.

  The other pictures were of him and Leo.

  My heart twisted as I stared at their grinning faces. They had been so close, and I knew he missed him as much as I did. I hadn’t given him the benefit of grieving, nor had I tried to soothe his pain, only having been concerned with my own. He had to be hurting.

  I picked up one of the picture frames, a candid shot that I had taken of them myself, in front of the clubhouse, and smiled, seeing how happy they were. It had been the beginning of our relationship, when I had thought that Leo would have been able to pick out what was going on with us immediately. It had been extremely hard to hide the secret from my brother, the man who knew everything about me.

  Oh, what would Leo had said about us? Would he have been happy? I wanted to think he would have been. I couldn’t have found a better man than Neil, ignoring what he did for the Horsemen. His actions did not define the person he was, nor how he made me feel whenever he was around.

  Gah, I was horribly in love with him!

  Setting the frame down, I was surprised to see something fall out of the bottom of the frame, clicking against the wood table. Moving the frame, I picked up the object, examining it between my fingers.

  It was a key.

  A small key.

  The kind that we needed for the box.

  My heart dropped into my stomach as I looked at it, the truth hitting me square in the face. This was the key to the box.

  Why did Neil have this hiding in a picture frame?

  How had he gotten this key in the first place?

  My knees buckled, and I fell onto the floor, feeling sick to my stomach. Leo had given Neil the key. Neil had lied to me, pretended not to know about where the key could be. That meant Neil had seen Leo before he died.

  He had known all along.

  “Oh god,” I forced out, my hands shaking.

  I had been sleeping with a liar. I had fallen in love with a liar. Neil had pulled the wool over my eyes, so to speak, and I had trusted that he would not hurt me, that he was helping me clear Leo’s name.

  But it had all turned out to be a lie. Every damn word that came out of his mouth was a lie.

  Why?

  I had thought I could trust him. I had thought he was there for me, that he truly loved me.

  Tears streamed down my cheeks as I rose off the floor, looking at the picture. There was only one plausible reason Neil would have the key. He had killed my brother.

  “Dammit!” I shouted, swiping all the pictures to the floor with my arm.

  Glass shattered but I ignored it. I strode to the bedroom where I knew Neil kept a cache of weapons.

  I was tired of being played for a fool.

  I was tired of hurting.

  I was tired of being lied to.

  Reaching into the drawer, I picked up the handgun, testing its weight in my hand.

  Neil thought he could placate me into whatever he wanted me to believe. He had underestimated the fact that I was still my own woman, one that had seen horrors most wouldn’t believe could happen.

  Checking for ammunition, I breathed in, clearing the emotion out of my head. I hated what he had done to me.

  I hated the fact that I was still in love with him.

  But he had ripped my family from me, pretending all the while not to know what had happened to Leo.

  I couldn’t let him get away with it, not matter how much it tore me up inside.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Neil

  “Your head is so far up her ass you wouldn’t see Grayson Barnes on the street if he was standing in front of you!”

  I cringed inwardly at Grant’s angry voice, though I didn’t change my expression on my face. When I had arrived this morning, I had wanted his help, explaining everything that had happened to me and Roxanne.

  Clearly, that was not what Grant had wanted to hear. Right now, he was chewing my ass out for not having anything new on Grayson nor any new traitors with bullets in their brains.

  And he had a right to be pissed off. I hadn’t concentrated on catching any of them. I hadn’t even done any scouting since the moment Roxanne had landed back in my life. I had pushed everything aside for her.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “‘Sorry’?” Grant said, arching a brow. “That’s all you can fucking say is ‘sorr
y’? That bastard kidnapped my daughter and took half of my men! ‘Sorry’ is not hunting him down! ‘Sorry’ is not making this shit go away!”

  I stood, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “I will start back immediately.”

  Grant blew out a breath, rubbing a hand over his face.

  “Fine, whatever. Get back in the saddle, Deadeye, or I will be forced to do something about it, and you will not fucking like it.”

  Then he looked over at me.

  “I can’t protect her, not until I know she isn’t on the same side as her brother was. That would be against everything we believe in, Neil, and you know it.”

  I clenched my jaw. Roxanne was nowhere near a traitor to the Horsemen, and I was starting to suspect Leo hadn’t been either. Shit! I was going to have to open the damn box to see what he had in there, what he had been hiding, that had ultimately gotten him killed.

  Most of all, I had to start proving myself again to Grant.

  “Fine,” I answered after a moment. “But if she fucking dies...”

  “…it’s on your hands,” Grant finished for me, leaning his arms on the desk. “Listen, I know you care for her. Hell, you probably even love her, but it’s not enough, not when it comes down to her or the future of this club.”

  “What if it was your old lady?” I asked, watching as his face started to grow red. “Or Sydney? Or Amy? Or Harley? What would you do then?”

  He leaned over, a grim look on his face.

  “You can’t even put them in the same category.”

  I looked at him, knowing he could see the rage in my eyes.

  “I love her.”

  Grant arched a brow, letting out a chuckle in the process.

  “Well, then. Now I understand why you are so desperate to protect her. Find Grayson, and I bet your ass that she will be safe.”

  I walked out of the office, ignoring everyone as I made my way outside. I had let down the man who was supporting me and I hated it. Grant had always been a fair man, but he was right. I hadn’t done my job, I hadn’t brought him Grayson.

  Locating my bike, I climbed on and fired up the engine, peeling out of the spot. I had left Rox at home this morning, and I hoped she had heeded my warning about leaving the house. I needed her safe, and while I knew she could protect herself, I didn’t like the fact of her being without me outside of the house.

  That, and I was going to have to come clean to her about the box. We needed to open the damn thing, and in order for me to do that I would have to get the key out. She would have a shit ton of questions about why I had that key, and I didn’t know if I was ready to answer all of them.

  But it wasn’t fair on her, to keep from Rox whatever her brother wanted to protect.

  Even if it cost me in the end.

  My mood soured the closer I got to the house, my mind racing with what I would lead with in our conversation. She was going to be pissed. Hell, I would be pissed too if I knew someone I trusted had been hiding this big a secret from me.

  I pulled the bike into the driveway and shut off the engine, staring at the house. What if she left? I would have to let her leave, cool off and then tell her why I had done what I did. Either way, it was going to be a difficult conversation, and it was time to get it the hell over with.

  The moment I opened the door, I knew something was wrong. Pulling out my gun, I stepped lightly on the glass on the floor, my heart in my throat.

  Shit.

  Someone had broken into the house. I had left her alone, and someone had taken advantage of it.

  Swallowing against the lump in my throat at what I might find, I held the gun out in front of me, ready to shoot whoever came charging.

  “Rox? Babe? You alright?”

  “In the kitchen.”

  Sighing in relief, I tucked the gun back into its holster and walked into the kitchen, stopping just inside the doorway. Rox was seated at the kitchen table, a bottle of beer in front of her and a gun in her hand, aimed at my chest. There was no hint of emotion on her face and I grew instantly concerned.

  “What did I forget?” I joked, holding up my hands, careful not to give her a reason to shoot me outright.

  She didn’t laugh.

  “Have you ever lied to me Neil?”

  That was a loaded question.

  “I would be lying if I said I hadn’t,” I said slowly, lowering my hands.

  Her own hands didn’t even shake as she kept the gun pointed at me, her jaw clenched tightly. I had never seen her so cold, so calculating. Hell, she reminded me of me when I shot someone.

  “What’s going on Rox?”

  Rox reached into the pocket of her shirt, my shirt actually, and threw something across the table. My blood ran cold as I realized what it was.

  “Explain that, you asshole.”

  I swallowed, wishing I had taken the damn key with me this morning. No wonder all the pictures were on the floor. There was a faint smell of bleach in the air, and I quickly put it all together. The key must have fallen out of the frame when she moved it.

  “It’s not what you think?”

  She laughed hollowly, the sound grating on my ears.

  “It’s not? Is that the key to my brother’s box, Neil, or is it not? For your sake, I hope I’m wrong. And don’t lie to me, Neil. I’m not in a good place right now, and there might be a hole in your chest before you can get the words out of your lying mouth.”

  I didn’t have anything to say. What could I say? It was the damn key, and I had been hiding it. I wished I could tell her a different story, but the truth was right there for her to see.

  She stared at me for a moment before nodding jerkily, her throat bobbing, and I swore I saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes.

  “I thought so. Where is the damn box, Neil?”

  “Rox,” I started, not liking where this was heading. “There’s a story behind all this.”

  “Oh, I imagine there is,” she stated, clicking back the hammer on the gun. “But I’m not interested in your damn story anymore. In fact, I’m not interested in anything you have to say, Neil, except where the box is.”

  “It’s in the hall closet,” I answered, not wanting to hide it from her.

  If she wanted the damn box, then she could have it. I would give her anything, anything at all, to make her life better, to take the coldness out of her expression and have her look at me like she had last night as I drove into her.

  I didn’t want this between us. I never wanted to hurt her.

  “I love you,” I tried, surprised to hear the emotion in my voice. “I was just trying to protect you.”

  Nothing. She stared at me, her finger on the trigger.

  “By hiding this from me? Some ‘love’ that is. My brother was everything to me, and you of all people knew that. He trusted you!”

  I rolled my shoulders, calculating the distance between me and that gun she was holding so steady. Did I want to get my hands on it? Hell, without her, I might as well have her shoot me. I wouldn’t be able to function without her in my life.

  And by the looks of it, I was going to be dead before too much longer.

  “Are you going to shoot me, Rox?”

  She shifted in the chair, a new wariness creeping into her expression.

  “Did you kill my brother, Neil?”

  So, my life hung on that. I thought about Leo’s visit the night before his death, the way I had brushed him off because I thought he was a traitor. I hadn’t helped him when he needed me the most, and in the end it might as well have been me that pulled the trigger. I had all but delivered him to his killer by not giving him the help he needed.

  “Yeah,” I forced out. “I did.”

  Her eyes widened before she pulled the trigger, the sound echoing in the kitchen. I flinched regardless, waiting for the pain of the bullet to slam into my chest, before realizing there hadn’t been a bullet in the chamber.

  She had not meant to kill me all along.

  Rox laid the gun on
the table and calmly stood, grabbing her bag from the back of the chair.

  “I want to shoot your fucking head off. I want to make you suffer as much as I have over these last few months. I thought you were real, Neil. I thought this was going to work out for the best, even with this adversity between us.” She gave a hollow laugh. “But I was wrong.”

  “Rox,” I started as she headed to the door, knowing that the moment she walked out it would all be over. “Give me a chance to explain.”