He was successful in his own right, took pride in his work and bistro. And she knew that his love for cooking had been an extension of his love for his grandmother. She must have been a very special woman to have raised this child of her heart that her own daughter had discarded. It occurred to Jennie that perhaps it was his mother’s rejection that had damaged him somehow—his fear of commitment, his preference to live life alone.
“Hey, Mom.” Brooke stood in front of her, chin in the air as she glanced up at her mother’s face. “Rasco made three yellow puddles, and Katie and I don’t have our hats or mittens on.” She shivered. “My ears are cold. My hands too. Can we come back inside?”
Jennie gasped. “Oh, man. I’m sorry! I got lost in the moment and didn’t even think about your hats and gloves.” She only wore a jacket as well, but her mind was occupied elsewhere and she hadn’t noticed the cold. Guilt hit her full force. “Give me the leash and run inside. Get next to the fire.”
The girls took off, leaving her with Rasco. No more thoughts of Nick.
* * *
Nick was dicing up the ingredients for his bouillabaisse when Ally walked in. “What are you doing here so early,” he asked, turning the dutch oven on medium high. He added olive oil, onion, fennel, and garlic into the pot to sauté.
“Just popped in to see if you need any help.” She shrugged out of her jacket and removed her wool cap from her blue-black hair. Her big brown eyes were shining and looked full of mischief. “So how did last night go?”
“It went.” He answered in a noncommittal kind of voice that discouraged more questions. “She had to leave and get back to her kids.”
“Hmm. That’s too bad.” Ally picked up the rubber spatula and began to stir the onions. “Starting to brown. Should I add the wine now?”
“Yeah. Turn it down.” He pushed over a dish with the zest from a couple of oranges, the large bowl of diced tomatoes in juice, peeled and diced potatoes, then the clam juice in her direction. “Add these and the saffron, if you’re going to stick around and bother me.”
“Then do I bring it to a boil?”
“Yes. Thanks.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, leaned against the counter, and studied her. “So what are you really doing here?”
“I wanted to see how you’re doing. I felt kind of bad declining your invitation to dinner without giving you a proper excuse.” She dropped the potatoes into the large pot, being careful not to splatter. “My parents are coming here to Philadelphia to see me. I can’t go home.”
He frowned, giving her a curious look. “Why can’t you go home? If you need more days, all you have to do is ask.”
“It’s not that.” She turned to face him. “I can never go home. It’s not safe.”
“What do you mean?” He walked over to Ally, and took her by the shoulders. “What’s going on with you?” He studied her face. “Why do you work here when you have the talent to make a name for yourself?”
“I don’t want to make a name for myself. That’s the problem. I can’t let anyone know where I am or how to find me.” Her brown eyes darkened and she pulled away, straightening her shoulders. “I dated a guy in college. Six months. And when I tried to break it off he threatened to kill me. He stalked me, followed me from class to class, hung around my dorm. Scared the shit out of me.” She rubbed her arms. “He broke my windshield, vandalized my room—I got a restraining order, but it did no good.”
“Ally.” That sucked. Nick couldn’t even imagine scaring another person on purpose. Threatening their life. “The police can’t do anything about this guy?”
“’Fraid not. So I quit school. Went back home, but he followed me there too. Everywhere I went he’d show up. Leaving obscene messages. The cops say they can’t do anything because he never acted out his threats.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“Guess I was supposed to wait until he killed me before the police could arrest him. I like living too much to give him the opportunity.”
“I’m so sorry, Ally.” He gave her a brief hug. “How long has it been?”
“Nearly two years.” She blinked away tears. “I’m afraid to go home. My parents still see his car stalking the place. They call the police, but before they get there he drives off. He’s sick but not stupid.”
“That really sucks.” He was quiet for a few minutes. What could he do to help? “Are you safe living in that cabin down by the lake?”
“As safe as I’ll ever be. I have it totally wired—the best security money can buy. And it’s hooked up to the local police station, for however good they are.”
“How about you? Do you have anything to defend yourself?”
“I’m trained in martial arts and I have a rifle next to the door.” She ran a hand through her spiky hair. “I’m an excellent shot.”
“Glad to hear it.” He turned the pot down to medium and covered the bubbling stew. “If he ever comes near, you shoot that son-of-a-bitch.”
“I intend to.” She smiled in a hard way that made Nick view her completely different. “Anyway. If you don’t have anything to do, you’re welcome to go into the city with me and meet my parents. They are very curious about you.” She tilted her head and folded her arms under her breasts. “So when did Jennie leave? Last night or this morning?”
“A couple of hours ago.” He turned his back and started the Faux Rouille sauce to be added right before serving. He took out the sour cream, mayonnaise, minced garlic, paprika, and lemon juice and mixed them in a bowl. After it was perfectly blended, he covered it and stuck it in the fridge.
“Will you be seeing her again?”
The question hung in the air for a few long seconds, and Nick grunted out a reply. “Time will tell. She wants to buy a place near her family this summer. Meanwhile she’ll be returning to Virginia. Her husband was killed in a helicopter crash. A training exercise.” He swore. “It’s tough on her and the kids. Not sure she’s ready.”
“I’ll bet she is.” Ally touched his arm. “And you. I’ve never seen you so gone on a girl before.”
“She’s pretty special, but I’m not sure if it’s going anywhere. I still have things to do. Have to build this business and finish fixing up my grandparents home to sell. Lots of details and financial decisions to take care of before I take on a responsibility of a wife.”
“And kids,” she added. “How do you feel about that?”
“That doesn’t bother me. I kind of like the idea.” He wasn’t sure that he wanted children of his own. Passing on his genes might not be a great idea. But he kept that thought to himself.
He ran a hand over his jaw and grimaced. “I really like her, Ally.”
“I know you do. Just want you to be happy, that’s all, boss.” She grabbed her jacket. “Let me know about tomorrow. You’re still welcome to come with me. It’ll be fun.”
“I’ll think about it and let you know first thing in the morning,” he answered cautiously.
Ally jammed the knit hat onto her head, her brown hair barely visible “Okay. Got a few last minute gifts to buy. See you at noon.”
“Thanks, Ally. For everything.”
This conversation had been an eye-opener—given him a whole lot of insight into her behavior, and why she’d never wanted to sell her photos or make a living doing what she did best. He’d do anything in his power to protect her. In the past hour, they’d moved from employer and employee to being friends.
He liked that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Jennie helped her mother prepare their Christmas Eve dinner, while the children played with the dog and attempted to keep him away from the tree. They ended up having to barricade it so the pup wouldn’t sniff around and tear at the wrapping. An hour in the house, and already one present destroyed.
“So how did things go last night?” her mom asked quietly.
Jennie looked up from the platter of smoked salmon she was arranging on a plate. “It went incredibly well. It was this morning that was a pro
blem. I had a total meltdown.”
“Oh, Jennie. I thought your eyes looked a little bloodshot when you first showed up.” She reached out and stroked her back. “I’m so sorry. It was only to be expected. How did Nick take it?”
“Like the perfect gentleman he is. He was patient, sweet, understanding. It just made things worse. If it had only been about sex it would have been easier on both of us. But we have feelings. How long they last will be anyone’s guess.”
“None of us can bet on a future, honey. You, most of all, know that. But he does care about you, and the girls. No one has tied him down yet.”
“That’s true, but we won’t see him for half a year—if at all. I mean what are the chances that he’ll not have a girlfriend by next summer? That would be ridiculous.”
“When you return for your car, spend a night. Don’t rush off. And keep in touch over the winter. Email, text, do what you have to do to keep your memory alive.”
“I’m not sure that I can do that, Mom. Part of my crying jag was that while I like him a lot, I’m not ready to stop loving Daniel. It’s too soon to let those feelings go. I can’t love two men, Mom. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.”
“Only one of them is here, in Heaven, Pennsylvania. Poor Daniel is in God’s hands now.”
Jennie bit her bottom lip and sucked back tears. She’d cried enough for a lifetime, and she was still worn out from last night’s sex-binge. “I know. I understand that. Maybe this winter will give me some closure. If by spring Nick is still available and I feel ready to take that next step, well, then it was meant to be.”
She sliced up some onion and added that and capers to the dish, then covered it with plastic wrap. “Salmon’s done. What else can I do?”
“Well, we are having a beautiful pork tenderloin which is marinating in a nice wine sauce. I made scalloped potatoes, your dad’s favorite, but we need to decide on broccoli or asparagus. Which do your girls like best?”
“Broccoli, but I’m not sure if they will eat it tonight. They love your potatoes and pork roast, and they still have tiny appetites.”
They heard a loud snore coming from the family room, and Jennie smiled. “Dad looks tuckered out. How has be been doing lately?”
“Much better. He’s been going to rehab three times a week, and is slowly rebuilding his strength. But the medicines make him tired, I think.”
Jennie yawned. “I didn’t get much sleep myself. Think you could handle the girls if I napped for an hour?”
“Of course. You run off. I’m glad he wore you out,” she added with a twinkle in her eye.
“Mom!”
“Don’t Mom me. Just be glad I’m hip enough to appreciate what a good man can do.”
Jennie rolled her eyes and told her kids she was going to lie down for a short nap. “Have fun with Rasco, and try not to wake Papa. He needs his sleep. When I get up we can all go out for a walk around the block. See the lights I promised you.”
“Okay, Mom. We’re okay,” Katie said. “We love Rasco. Best present ever!”
Jennie went upstairs to her room and climbed under the covers. With her eyes closed Nick’s handsome face came to mind. The tenderness and concern in his deep brown eyes when he looked at her, the way his lips would twitch when he was amused, the full sexiness of his smile. He was the kindest, most considerate man she’d ever met—next to her husband. They were both equally good men, and to have met two in her lifetime and to be loved by both, made her a very lucky woman indeed.
She did feel loved by Nick, but whether it was a love that would survive and flourish was still unknown. She hoped it would, because she had a feeling that with the sale of her house, she’d be ready to move on in every aspect of her life.
Last night had been a giant leap forward. She tingled remembering the things he did to her, and she to him. He was a passionate, considerate lover, and had surprised her and pleased her in more ways than she could have imagined.
And she very much wanted to do it again. The thought of him making love with another woman made her heart hurt. She couldn’t imagine him doing it with anyone but her, at least not anytime soon. She prayed that she was right.
An hour later, Jennie slipped out of bed, and took a shower. Refreshed, she returned downstairs to take her kids and new pup for a walk in the neighborhood. It was half past four, but the daylight had disappeared, and a great many of the homes were festively lit.
“Okay, kids. Let’s go get some fresh air before dinner, and we can talk about our Christmas wishes.”
Brooke clapped her hands. “I wished for a puppy and it already came true.”
“I wished to make you girls happy, and I did,” Jennie told them with a hug and kiss each. “What did you do when I was napping?” she asked. “You were so quiet, I didn’t even hear you.”
“We helped Nana wrap presents for Jed and Jake,” Katie told her. “They got some new pajamas and Gap sweatshirts, and some board games. Kind of cool.”
Jennie helped bundle up the children, tucking scarves around their necks, then she donned her own wool coat and hat. Once they were warmly attired she bent down to check that the dog’s collar was secure before they all ventured outdoors.
Hand in hand they walked around the community—a pleasant blend of retired couples and younger families with children. It was easy to identify which was which as the seniors usually had lights around their windows and on their bushes or trees, others had candles in all the windows. The families with children were a little more obvious, with blown up Santa Clauses and reindeers on their lawns. The girls critiqued the snowmen the other children had made.
Rasco tugged at his leash, jumping excitedly around the girls’ legs and getting himself tangled up. He left yellow snow everywhere he went, determined to mark his territory from one house to another. How one little dog could have so much pee was beyond her, but Rasco seemed quite proud of it.
After a half hour they returned home. Nana gave the girls hot cocoa, while she poured eggnogs for the adults. The scent of the log fire and the pork roast in the oven drifted throughout the warm house. This is what she’d come home for.
Papa, awake, waved the girls over to him. “Come my little beauties, and tell me what you saw.” His face glowed from the fire, and he looked quite sprightly all of a sudden. “Did you spot any reindeers in the sky? Anyone shouting, “ho, ho, ho?”
The girls giggled and took a seat next to him. He put an affectionate arm around them and kissed the tops of their heads. “What time does Santa get here?” he asked. “I might sit up and have cookies with him.”
Brooke shook her head. “You can’t, Papa. He won’t allow it. Santa only comes when everybody is asleep. I think he’s shy.”
Katie leaned over Papa’s belly, and glanced at her younger sister. “Don’t be a ninny. He’s not shy. He just doesn’t want anyone to see him. He’s probably not even a real human being. More like an angel I think.”
“He’s not an angel,” Brooke said firmly. “Is he, Papa? He’s a person, a really good person who works very hard all year making presents for all the kids in the world. Especially the poor ones. He gives them extra ones because they deserve it.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Katie said. “He treats everyone just the same. Except the bad ones. They don’t get presents. Only a bag of coal. What’s coal, Papa?”
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Well, I’ll tell you a story about coal,” Papa said, “but first we all need to take a taste of our drinks and make a Christmas toast.”
He raised his glass of eggnog, and looked at his wife and Jennie. “Merry Christmas, Louise, the love of my life. And Jennie, my darling girl, we are so very happy that you’re here with us and will be moving close by.” Lastly, he clinked his glass with the girls’ two mugs and said, “And may Santa bring you everything your heart’s desire.”
Then they all took a sip from their drinks.
The taste of the eggnog brought back so many memories. It was a traditi
on to always have an eggnog, virgin or laced with rum or brandy as they decorated the Christmas tree. Again on Christmas Eve, before they each opened a present, and then on Christmas morning as they cleaned up after the gifts.
She was reminded of the nights with Daniel when the children would be in bed, and how they’d light a fire and sip eggnog as they waited for the girls to fall asleep so they could bring out the presents. Every memory was a happy one, and one she’d cherish.
Life changed, but remained the same. Her parents had started the traditions that she continued with her own family, and Katie and Brooke would carry them down to their children too.
She raised the glass again. “This is to Daniel, husband and father. May he have the most wonderful Christmas ever. We love you honey, and you’re in our thoughts and our hearts this day and every day. Merry Christmas, my love.”
They all drank to Daniel, and then Nana had an idea. “Let’s all say one thing about your dad,” she said to the girls. “The first thing that pops into our minds. I’ll start.” She cleared her throat. “I love the way your dad used to whistle while he worked. He’d be putting your toys together or doing something and would whistle a happy tune.”
“And I loved how he knew how to work all these fancy gadgets, like i-Pads and hooking us up with Netflicks.” Papa smiled. “That man could do anything.”
“And I loved jumping on him, and his pancakes on Sunday morning,” Brooke said.
“I loved it when I was little and he used to put me on his shoulders so I could watch the parade. And his laugh. And his hugs. Everything,” Katie said with tears in her eyes.
Jennie nodded. “And I loved how much he loved you all—his precious daughters that he loved more than anything, and his love for me, and for you Nana, and you Papa. He was the best husband and father that anyone could hope for.” Tears blurred her eyes, but she raised them up, and whispered. “Thank you for the joy and love you gave us. We will miss you always.”
A CHRISTMAS COLLECTION Page 14