Murderous Profession

by D J Small

  Kristen laughed.

  As they entered the kitchen, her older brother Charlie shouted, “Lizzy!” He walked over to Eliza and gave her a big hug, but pulled away when Fay started to yell that he was squishing her. Eliza put her niece down, and Charlie said, “You managed to detach yourself from your desk!”

  Eliza went over to her mom and gave her cheek a quick kiss. “Hi, Mom.” She glared at Charlie. “You say that like I miss Sunday dinner every Sunday.”

  She gave Marie, her brother Chenzo’s wife, a hug as her mom said, “If your father didn’t threaten you with bodily harm, I’m certain you would.”

  It took every ounce of self-control for Eliza not to roll her eyes.

  “I honestly thought you would be too busy to come, being on that dead hooker case and all,” Charlie remarked with a wicked grin.

  “Charles!” her mom exclaimed. “Don’t say that word. There are children around.”

  Marie swatted his arm to drive the point home. Eliza knew her brother had intentionally chosen that particular wording to rile their mother up.

  Charlie threw up his hands. “Hey, that’s what they are, aren’t they?”

  “They’re sex workers,” Eliza stated firmly. She glared at her mom, and not hiding her aggravation, she said, “Mom, I told you that wasn’t my case!”

  “Don’t talk to your mother like that!” her dad shouted from the back living room, which was close to the kitchen. “Your silence on the phone the other day sold you out, Lizzy. Now apologize to your mom.”

  Eliza gave her mom a one-armed hug and said, “Sorry, Mom.”

  “It’s all right, sweetheart,” her mom replied with a wink.

  Eliza left the kitchen and walked down the few steps that led to the back living room. She went over to the recliner her dad was sitting in, then bent down and gave his cheek a kiss. “Hey, Pop.”

  As she pulled back to stand up, he flicked her in the forehead. “Don’t be a jerk to your mother.”

  “Ow!” Eliza exclaimed as she rubbed the spot he had hit. “I didn’t mean to be a jerk, but she’s telling everyone that I’m on that case, which I cannot confirm or deny.” She sat down on the couch next to his armchair. “You know I can’t say anything about it.”

  He held up his hand, giving her a conciliatory nod. “I know, I know, Lizzy.” He grinned. “But you know I’m good at reading between the lines.”

  Eliza shot him a pointed look, then shook her head. “Cop’s honor you won’t tell Mom anything if I tell you?” she asked, pointing a finger at him.

  “I swear on my former badge that I will not tell your mother a thing,” he said, raising his right hand. He pointed his finger back at her. “But if she’s worried, I’m not going to lie to her.”

  She wasn’t even going to bother arguing with her dad about that point. It would be an argument that she would lose. Her mom had done a fair amount of worrying when her dad had been a cop, but it had gone into overdrive when Eliza became one. “Deal.” She huffed out a breath and said, “It’s my case.”

  Her dad laughed. “Knew it. How’d you land that one?”

  A playful glare formed on her face. “You know exactly how I landed this one.”

  He laughed again, louder this time. “Look, I only want you to get further than I did. If you don’t want to do it, then you don’t have to. I love you regardless.”

  The statement was one he had told her at various points in her career so far, and though he was sincere about it, Eliza knew that if she stayed where she was, he would make subtle remarks about her wasting her future, or ask why she hadn’t moved up in the ranks. Her dad had made it to first-grade homicide detective, and that was where he had stayed until he retired a few years ago.

  Moving up in the ranks wasn’t something her dad had wanted to do. He was a family man; but food had to be put on the table, so he moved from police officer to detective a few years into his career. For twenty years, her dad had been an active part of the force, but when an opportunity for a desk job had presented itself, he took it, and that’s where he had stayed and finished off his career. The move had given him a better schedule, which had allowed him to get home at a decent hour, letting him spend more time with the family.

  When Eliza had told her dad about her plans to join the force, he had been over the moon with excitement. He had called all his cop buddies and told them the good news, and he had ordered the ones that were still on the force to look out for her. Out of the six children her parents had had, Eliza was the only one to follow in his footsteps, and her dad wanted her career to go further than his.

  “I know you do, Pop. Don’t sell yourself short.” She smiled. “Raising us hellions was worse than the crap you dealt with as a cop.”

  She and her dad shared a laugh, and he remarked, “Ain’t that the truth. You six still are.”

  Eliza couldn’t argue. Between her youngest brother’s recent divorce, her older sister not wanting to get married, and her eldest brother’s kids being troublemakers, their family had an endless well of drama that would probably never go dry.

  “But I’m your favorite,” she said with a shit-eating grin.

  “No, you’re my biggest pain in the ass.” They shared another laugh, then he asked, “You seen Al lately?”

  “No, he moved over to IA,” Eliza replied, getting comfortable on the couch. Thus began their weekly conversation where her dad would ask about work and people he knew on the force, and Eliza would tell him her crazy stories from the week. The conversation would last for an hour or more, but it was one she enjoyed having. Their weekly chats were another reason why Eliza came to Sunday dinner. Though the main one was that she didn’t want to get in trouble.

  The two of them were still talking an hour later—discussing an officer her dad had known as a rookie who had recently moved to recruiting—when her youngest brother and the baby of the family, Junior, walked into the living room and said, “You two, stop talking shop. Pop, put on the Knicks game.”

  “I ain’t putting on that lousy game. Now sit down and shut up.”

  Junior plopped down on the couch next to Eliza, unbothered by their father’s brusque tone.

  “We’ll check out the game before dinner,” her dad said seconds later.

  Junior waved him off, and Eliza asked, “How’s the twin bed treating you?”

  He started to raise his middle finger, but then he glanced at their dad and thought better of it. “It’s no better than the last time I slept in it...ten years ago.”

  “Probably shouldn’t have gotten a divorce,” Eliza quipped.

  He snorted softly and countered, “I probably shouldn’t have gotten her pregnant.”

  Eliza hummed. “Yeah...that would have prevented a lot of this. How’s Quin doing with everything?”

  “He’s a kid, but I know he’s holding back a lot of stuff, y’know?” Junior ran a hand through his thick black hair—a trait they had all inherited from their mom, but Charlie had lost his, and Big Ollie’s was starting to go as well. “I let him know it’s okay to talk to me and that he’s allowed to feel angry or upset, but he’s a tough guy.” He let out a small laugh. “This family is full of ‘em.”

  Eliza frowned as she reached over to give his forearm a reassuring squeeze. She felt for her brother, and for her eight-year-old nephew, but at the same time she was relieved. Junior and his ex weren’t the best when they were together.

  “You’ll figure it out, Junior. Quin knows you’re there for him,” Eliza said, hoping the words would erase some of the guilt that she saw in his eyes. Moving the conversation to a lighter topic, she asked, “Did you see Kristen? She’s gonna pop at the table one of these days.”

  Their dad huffed. “God, I hope not. House full of you all and then that...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “It would be nothing but chaos.”

  Junior and Eliza laughed in agreement.

  The three of them talked about the various projects their dad was doing around the house, and at one point,
Eliza’s other younger brother, Big Ollie, joined them, causing the conversation to move to the baby that was due any day now.

  Eliza was grateful none of them had risked their life and asked when she would be settling down and having children for the millionth time. The topic was one she didn’t react well to.

  ◊◊◊

  A couple of hours later, her mom called the family to dinner. The adults squeezed into the dining room, while the kids ate at a table her dad had set up in the front living room.

  Eliza was working on her second helping of roasted chicken and potatoes when the conversation turned to her case. “Lizzy,” her older sister, Lisa called out. “I heard you’re out here protecting hoes.”

  “You know what they say, Lizzy, you can’t save a hoe,” Eliza’s older brother, Chenzo, added with a laugh.

  Their mom gave each of them a reproachful stare. “We are at the dinner table, and that is not appropriate dinner conversation. Nor is it an appropriate conversation to have around the children.”

  Lisa and Chenzo mumbled their apologies while Eliza pressed her lips together and pushed around the food on her plate. When she knew she wouldn’t laugh, Eliza said, “They are called licensed...” She glanced at the doorway that joined the living room to dining room, looking at her nieces and nephews—whose ages ranged from thirteen to two—as she tried to come up with a better term for the word ‘sex’. After another second, she thought of a different term for the profession. “They are called licensed companions.”

  Her brothers snickered, and Lisa snorted, which caused her to choke on her wine.

  “And they are professionals just like the rest of us,” Eliza continued as her sister recovered.

  Not missing a beat, Big Ollie asked, “So you’ve changed your opinion on their vocation?”

  “I’ve never had a stance on the profession,” Eliza said smoothly, but her family was quite aware of her feelings on sex work.

  Chenzo held up a finger to put his two cents into the conversation. “Lizzy, you were upset when the laws changed. You went on a rant about how it wouldn’t change anything, and how legalization would just lead to more crime and murder.”

  Eliza pursed her lips, recalling the epic tirade she had gone on. Okay, she did have a stance, but it had nothing to do with legalization, and everything to do with the profession itself. Picking up her glass of lemonade, she took a long sip of it to give herself some time to come up with a good response.

  As she placed the glass back on the table, she said, “All right, fine. I do have a problem with it, but it’s with the job itself, not the people. I understand people need to make a living, but that...” She couldn’t finish the thought. Instead, she waved a hand in the air and said, “It’s not my gig, so it doesn’t matter what I think.”

  Her siblings and their partners laughed. Over the noise, Charlie said, “Coming from you, this is very surprising.”

  Disbelief overtook Eliza’s face as she looked around the table. “This family is Catholic. How is this surprising? Didn’t you go to church with Mom this morning?”

  Charlie nodded. “I sure did, but my faith only has so much weight in what I believe is right and wrong. When you let it dictate everything is when you start sounding like those crazies on TV.”

  On one level, Eliza found his response a relief. It meant his acceptance of her sexuality—whatever that was—wasn’t an act, and that he probably didn’t talk crap about her behind her back. On the other hand, Charlie had basically called her a bigot, and that was annoying, because he was the only one of her siblings that still went to church regularly. The rest of them went occasionally to appease their mother, but Charlie still believed in the religion that they had grown up with. His words bothered her even more when she factored that in, because it meant she was being more close-minded than a religious person.

  Before she and Charlie were able to get into an argument, Eliza’s mom released an exasperated breath and asked, “Can we please move this conversation to something else? Please? It has to be child appropriate.”

  Eliza and her siblings nodded and muttered their apologies, then Charlie said, “Since we’re talking about church, the youth group will be performing next Sunday, and Casey will be leading the performance.”

  “Dad!” Eliza’s thirteen-year-old niece shouted with exasperation from the living room. “It’s just a stupid performance.”

  “But I am quite proud of you,” Charlie said with a huge grin. He gave Eliza and the rest of their siblings a pointed look. “Each of you will be there to support her.”

  “I will try, but I can’t make any promises,” Eliza said, already beginning to think of several ways to get out of going. Despite growing up in the church, she avoided it like the plague. She and organized religion did not mix well, although the effects of what she had been exposed to while growing up seemed to linger in her views.

  Charlie glowered at her. “Lizzy, you will be there.”

  Eliza sighed in resignation. “I will be there.”

  Her mom started talking about another event happening at the church, but Eliza blocked it out, along with the rest of the conversation. Eliza couldn’t wait until baseball season started again. It would add some variety to their dinner conversation, at least until the arguing started.

  “Lisa,” her mom said, and the tone of her voice brought Eliza’s focus back to the discussion as the alarms in her head started to go off. “Have you and Amir started discussing wedding plans yet?”

  Eliza’s mental alarms had gone off for a good reason. This specific conversation always ended before it could get started. Her mother would start off by asking Lisa when she and her boyfriend of three years were planning to get married. Lisa would then deflect the question by making a comment about Eliza’s dating life, and then from there, the conversation would devolve into one that no one wanted to be a part of. It usually resulted in Eliza leaving.

  “Ma,” Lisa said with a hint of annoyance.

  Their dad gave her a stern look which told her to watch her tone.

  Lisa took a drink of her wine and tried again. “Mom, we’ve discussed this already. I want to finish the RN program and get my doctorate before we think about it.” She chuckled. “Amir knows we’re not allowed to talk about that until I do.”

  “What about having a long engagement?” their mother suggested.

  Lisa ignored the question, and Eliza focused on the scraps on her plate, hoping her mom would move onto a different topic since Lisa hadn’t followed the usual script.

  “Since one of my daughters has effectively ignored me, Eliza, what about you? How has your dating life been?” her mom asked.

  Eliza scowled. The universe hated her.

  Before she could come up with some bullshit excuse, her dad intervened, already knowing how this conversation would go if he didn’t. “Deb, you know she’s busy with work. She doesn’t have time to date.”

  Her mom pinned him down with a sharp gaze. “Don’t save her because she’s your favorite, Philip. I would like to see one of my daughters get married before I die.”

  “Mom!” Lisa and Eliza exclaimed at the same time.

  Eliza shook her head. Her mother’s dramatics didn’t make this conversation any better. “Mom, Dad’s right. I’ve got too much work to focus on. Dating is the last thing on my mind,” she said as gently as possible. It would be her one and only attempt at being nice and trying to end the subject.

  “Nonsense,” her mom countered. “Your father and I dated when he was in the academy, and then we got married once he was assigned.”

  “You and Dad are high school sweethearts,” Big Ollie pointed out in an effort to save Eliza.

  Charlie held up a finger. “Bup, bup, bup; you’re forgetting that they broke up when he entered the academy.”

  Big Ollie waved Charlie off. “Doesn’t matter. They were still high school sweethearts.”

  Eliza’s dad grunted at her mom. “Fifty years later and I’m still mad at you for bre
aking up with me.”

  “It was an adjustment, Phil. You just dropped it on me.”

  Everyone at the table laughed, and as they calmed down, her mother said, “And Lizzy, you had a wonderful chance with that sweet Matthew boy a block over.”

  A menacing gaze appeared on every one of her brothers’ faces upon hearing the name of the boy that had tried to cop a feel when she was fifteen. Eliza had originally told Lisa, thinking the two of them had privacy from their protective brothers, but Big Ollie had overheard the conversation and told the other three about it, causing the whole situation to grow to epic proportions, despite the fact that Eliza had punched Matthew the moment he touched her.

  “Mom, there is a reason why I beat that little shit up and told him to keep his distance from Lizzy,” Charlie said stiffly.

  The fact that her brothers were still riled up by the incident was ridiculous. They made it seem like Matt had killed their dog or something, and their dad had been the one to do that.

  “Dear, you and your brothers are overly protective when it comes to your sisters,” her mom said with a slight shake of her head.

  Chenzo gestured toward their dad. “You can blame Pop for that one. ‘You gotta look out for your sisters,’” he said in a voice that was deeper and gruffer than his own, doing a poor imitation of their father.

  That constant reminder from their dad was another thing that irritated Eliza. She knew how to handle any situation that came her way. Growing up with four brothers and a stubborn sister meant knowing how to stand her ground by any means necessary. They would have tormented the hell out of her if she hadn’t.

  “I don’t sound anything like that,” their dad said as he threw a roll at Chenzo, who caught it and took a bite out of the piece of bread. “But the boys are right, Deb. That kid was a creep.” He shook a finger towards Eliza. “You know who she really had a chance with?”