by L. E. Bross
“She said I needed something to sweeten me up.” Now Pops was glaring at the dish again. I think he might have been mad that he ate almost half of it when he wanted to be mad.
I patted Pops lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. I can wrap it up and take it to the guys tomorrow. You don’t have to suffer through any more of it.”
Pops nearly growled at me, then covered the cobbler back up and took it to the refrigerator. “Don’t you dare. She baked the damned thing for me.”
He headed back to his recliner, but I noticed that he didn’t have a beer with him, nor were there any waiting by his chair. Before I could comment on it, my phone buzzed. A shot of anticipation kicked my pulse into gear. I was hoping that Tess might call. But it was only a text from Seth.
How’s your dad? If he feels better, get your ass to Club Nine. Shari says to tell you she’s feeling lonely . . . oh, no, wait, she said horny. Heh.
Will let you know, I texted back.
“That the fancy girl you’ve been running around with?” Dad asked.
“What?”
“The one who drives the black Mercedes crossover that drops you off too early for the rooster to notice some mornings.”
I had no idea he was even coherent enough to notice anything that early, much less me coming home. I rarely saw him before I left for work.
“She’s just a friend,” I said. I had no desire to talk about Shari with my father. Or any woman for that matter. I had a belly full of homemade blueberry cobbler and didn’t feel like having this conversation.
“She’s the only one I’ve seen you with more than a few times. Sure it’s not serious?”
Christ, I’d spent the last however many years pretty much doing my own thing while Dad did his, and now he wanted to talk about my sex life? Uh, no way in hell.
“You want pizza later? I’ll order it.” I quickly changed the subject and stood up and went to the kitchen. We had a dozen delivery menus on the fridge, and I pulled down the first one I could reach. Maybe I should have just gone out with Seth and the girls. I could have thought up some excuse why I wasn’t in the mood to hook up with Shari tonight.
Beat the hell out of this twilight zone moment with my father.
I couldn’t remember the last time we actually talked about something besides what he wanted to eat or whatever reality TV show he was watching that month.
I heard my dad’s voice from behind me. “I’m tired of takeout. We got anything in the house to make instead?”
I may have forgotten what the hell I was doing for about ten seconds. The last time Dad tried to cook anything had been years ago. We’d had takeout every single night. About all we had was a bottle of ketchup and a twelve-pack of beer.
“Not really,” I finally answered.
“Next time you stop at the store, pick up the stuff to make chili, will you?”
If a vortex opened up and sucked me back to the Jurassic age with fucking dinosaurs, I would not have been more surprised. The last time my father made chili was when my mom was still around. It was one of her favorites.
And he had not made it again since she left.
God, maybe he was really sick. Shit, what if he was dying or something? Mrs. Taylor from a few trailers down took him to his doctor appointments when I couldn’t, which had been more often lately. Was his blood pressure worse?
“Everything okay, Pops?” I asked.
“I ever tell you about the time your mother chained herself to a tree?” he said instead, out of the blue. A smile danced over his lips and his gaze went to some memory I couldn’t see.
My feet filled with lead, and it was all I could do to walk to the old couch. Dad never talked about Mom. Ever. Something had to be wrong. Whatever it was, I’d take care of it. I hope he knew that.
“What’s going on? Really.”
“Kate said something the other day when she was taking me to get my medication and it got me thinking. I’m holding you back, son.”
“What the fuck, Pops?” I jumped up and started to pace. Busybody Taylor told Dad he was a burden to me? Jesus. Tomorrow I was going to have a talk with her and tell her to mind her own goddamned business. I appreciated the time she’d taken the past few years to get Dad to the doctor when I couldn’t, but it didn’t give her the right to fill his head with a bunch of shit.
“You’ve been taking care of me since before you should have had to. Don’t you want to find a nice girl and settle down? There must be things you want to do with your life that don’t include taking care of your old man. You have the trust money from your mother; you could travel, or go to school, or something you want to do. There’s enough to do all of that.”
I whirled around, unable to contain the fury that washed over me. “I will never use one cent of that guilt money. The only reason she sent it was to ease her own fucking conscience, so no, I will never ever do any of those things. I will not give her the satisfaction of thinking I give one fuck about her when she left me without a backward glance. That money can rot for all I care.”
Pops cringed. “Ryan, that’s not true. I should have told you—”
“Forget it. I can’t be here right now. I can’t listen to this.” I stuffed my keys into my pocket and headed for the door. “I need to get some air. I’ll be back later.”
“Ryan, wait . . .” I heard my pops’s voice behind me as I pushed out of the trailer and slammed the front screen behind me.
My hands were shaking and my head felt like it was going to explode. Six years of barely talking and when he finally decides to pull his head out of his ass and stay sober for one night, he has the fucking nerve to tell me I should settle down? Travel?
Using my mother’s guilt money?
Gravel flew from under my tires as I tore out of the trailer park. I had no clue where I was going, only that I needed to get some space between Dad and me. Did he even know how crazy he sounded, spouting off advice like that after barely talking for years?
Because of her.
He fell apart. Stopped functioning. Stopped fucking living because of her.
I slammed my palms against the steering wheel. My mother and Tess had somehow morphed into the same image in my head.
I was never going through that.
Hell, I’d been torn up when Tess left, and I was fucking fifteen. My parents were married. They chose to love and honor and cherish and then my mother shit on all of it and just up and left.
Why? That’s what dug down under my skin and rubbed me raw from the inside. I had no idea why, had never found out, had always been too afraid that I was somehow what drove her away. Coming so close after Tess left, I couldn’t help but think part of it was me.
And there was the kicker.
Everyone always said how much my old man and I were alike, before he let himself go. The spitting image, they said. What if we were even more alike than just in looks? What if I was also destined to be made a fool of in the name of love?
I drove blindly, making turns on a whim and losing track of where I was.
I should go to the club and meet up with Shari and then go back to her place and remind myself why it was so good to get up and leave afterward. No strings. No fucking heartbreak when it fell apart.
No feeling at all except physical satisfaction.
So why couldn’t I make myself want that?
I did.
Just not with Shari.
Fuck.
Spending the morning with Tess probably was not the smartest thing I’ve done lately, but I couldn’t stay away. Seeing her in a towel, well that made it even harder now. But I already knew that Tess was not someone to just fool around with. Someone with a kid had to be careful, and she was probably looking for long-term and that was just one place I could not go.
Would never be able to. There was too much baggage and I knew that, an
d I didn’t give anyone any indication that hooking up was more than just hooking up. It was why Shari and I had been working so well together.
Until Tess came back into my life.
And now that she was here, I didn’t know how I would be able to let her go.
After I missed the nail and pounded my thumb for the third time in the last half hour, I chucked my hammer and stormed out of the house. I was acting like a wuss and knew it. I just . . . wanted to see Tess again.
Usually work was the perfect antidote for whatever was bugging me, helping me to refocus and get over whatever was on my mind. But not today. Oh, no, not today.
Spending Saturday with Tess, watching her face light up, hearing her laugh—it was as if a heaviness had been lifted off her shoulders. I hadn’t seen her look like that before. That Tess reminded me of the girl I used to love.
Except she was a woman now and she hit all my hot buttons without even knowing it. Not only was she amazingly beautiful, but she was damned strong too. I’d seen her bending more than once now, yet she never broke. Somehow she kept going, and it impressed the hell out of me.
I knew what it was like to have responsibility that weighed you down, sometimes more than you ever expected. It wasn’t easy to keep going some days, but she did it.
Then she had to go and gush about my work.
How impressed, how proud she was of me.
And now I couldn’t get her out of my head. Trying to work on the same house where I’d taken her and Noah wasn’t helping much either.
“Everything okay, boss?” Stan, one of my workers, stood on the edge of the veranda.
“Just getting my head out of my ass,” I said back.
He chuckled and mumbled something about needing a lot more time for that, before disappearing back inside. Smart-ass. I exhaled and pulled off my cap. This was fucked-up. I needed to do what I said I was going to do and just forget about Tess. She would have called if she was interested in picking up where we left off.
Take a fucking hint, Mullany.
But then I made the mistake of looking at the play set and I could almost see Noah on the swing, with Tess behind him. They both laughed so much when they were playing that I could have watched them all day.
I’d almost groaned along with Noah when Tess had said it was time to go.
What if they didn’t leave? What if it was our house and Tess came inside and we made dinner together while Noah played in his room? I could see myself backing her against the counter and stealing kisses while she tried to chop stuff for a salad.
I shook my head. What the hell?
I shouldn’t have brought them here, because now I would have to relive that every time I looked outside, at least until this job was done. Another few months of torture. Great.
I pulled my cap back on and went inside.
This house wasn’t going to remodel itself.
“Hey, boss, why don’t you come out with the guys tonight?” Stan said. “I guarantee you will forget anything that’s bothering you. Hell, you won’t even remember your own name by the time we’re done with you.” Stan nudged one of the electricians working near him, and they both chuckled.
With this bunch, they could be doing just about anything.
“We won’t take no for an answer. Boys, the boss is coming with us tonight,” Stan shouted. Half the guys working hollered their approval.
“So where are you idiots hitting up?”
“Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little head. I’ll personally pick you up. Be ready at seven, sunshine.” Stan walked over and clapped me on the shoulder. “Don’t puss out on us now. A boss man needs to bond with his crew.”
His laughter echoed in the gutted space.
I rolled my eyes and muttered obscenities toward Stan’s back as he retreated, but a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. Stan could be an ass, but he was a good guy at heart. The whole crew was, really, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d just shot the shit with everyone outside of work.
Maybe a night out with them was just what I needed to forget everything that had happened this past fucked-up week.
“A strip club. Seriously?” I asked a few hours later. I should have known better. “This is what you knuckleheads do with all your money?”
Stan had pulled his Prius into the parking lot of Girls! Girls! Girls! and killed the engine. Like it wasn’t bad enough he’d picked me up in a fucking two-door mini-car, he had to lay on the horn, making sure everyone within a mile radius saw us.
I struggled out of the car and felt the blood rushing back to my legs. No way was I getting into that thing again. Either I’d catch a ride with one of the other guys, or I’d take a cab, or even walk if I had to.
“Every Wednesday night, bossman.” Stan grinned and headed to the entrance. A huge guy in a black T-shirt stood just inside the door. He looked like he could rip apart Arnold Schwarzenegger.
“Hey, man.” He and Stan did some kind of secret handshake and then the guy stepped back and opened the inside door. A wash of music poured out. “Have fun tonight.”
“Always do,” Stan threw back over his shoulder.
He made his way to a table of guys sitting center stage. I knew some of them from the construction site, but there were a few others I didn’t know. After the introductions were made, Stan headed for the bar. I definitely needed a beer, so I followed.
It wasn’t like I’d never been to a strip club. Hell, Seth and I used to hit up a couple on the other side of town quite a bit before he got sent to prison. Went home with a couple of strippers more than once too.
So they held some fond memories, but on a Wednesday night? When half these guys had to be at work at six the next morning? It sucked always being the responsible one. I looked around. Onstage a pretty brunette had her legs wrapped around a steel pole coming out of the ceiling. I had to admit it was damned impressive how she could hold herself parallel with the floor with just her thighs.
“Two longnecks, sweetheart,” Stan said to the bartender.
When I turned around to face the bar, the bartender had her back to us. She had on the same black corset that all the waitresses wore, but instead of the short shorts, she had on skintight jeans that hugged her very nice ass. Maybe tonight wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Her brown hair was pulled into two low ponytails that should have looked immature but just added to her overall appeal.
She turned with two longnecks dangling from her fingers. It took a few more seconds of appreciation for me to make it back up to her face. And when I did, I froze. Holy fuck. No way. Even under the layers of makeup and the ponytails, I knew that face.
“Tess?”
“Ryan?” A slight widening of her eyes was all that gave her surprise away as she deftly slid the bottles onto the bar.
“You guys know each other?” Stan interrupted. “Dude, I thought you told me you’d never been here before.” He gave me a grin like he thought he knew what was going on.
“No, I haven’t.”
“Get you boys anything else?” She leaned forward and it made her corset tighten; her tits looked like they were about to spill over. I wasn’t the only one who noticed, judging by Stan’s throaty chuckle. I swiftly elbowed him in the gut.
“He’s good. Feel free to head back to the table,” I growled at him.
Stan saluted me with his beer and a grin, then sauntered off to join the other guys.
“So, you work here?” I lifted an eyebrow and scanned the room before coming back to Tess. God, she looked good, in a very bad girl way. I’d never seen her like this. Her name tag said her name was Darla.
“Nah,” she said, leaning in closer to be heard over the steady music blaring through the speakers next to the stage. “I just come in when I have the insane urge to mix up a few drinks and be ogled by horny men.”
A girl hollered out
“Order up,” and Tess spun around and shook her ass over to where one of the waitresses was standing, waving a white slip of paper.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Tess. It wasn’t that she looked so different but that she had a totally different vibe going on. She seemed more like her old self tonight; flirty and confident as I watched her move around mixing drinks. She smiled a lot and I saw her wink at a couple of guys who were waiting.
I slid onto one of the stools and took a long drink from the bottle. I didn’t need to be in front of the stage to watch something that interested me. Not tonight. After she loaded up the waitress’s tray and took care of the guys waiting, she made her way back over.
“Shouldn’t you be sitting with your friends over there, watching the show?”
I tipped the bottle back again and settled in. “Nah. There’s nothing over there that beats the view from over here.”
Finally I got a reaction. Even under the makeup I saw the red rush to her cheeks.
“So how long you worked here?” I asked.
“About a year and a half. Pays the bills.” She shrugged and the tips of her ponytails bounced over her bare shoulders. She didn’t need to explain anything to me. The fact that she did whatever she had to do to take care of Noah was damned impressive in my book. I doubted that the father helped out at all, judging by where she lived.
“So what are you doing here?” she asked. One brow lifted over a heavily made-up eye.
I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “The guys thought I needed a night out.”
“On a Wednesday? Don’t you have to get up early to work? I mean, I thought construction guys were on the job super early.” She held up a finger, then walked a little ways down the bar to take care of another of the waitress’s orders. There were three girls working the floor and they moved among a few tables near the stage.
The place was about half full, not bad for midweek, though I’d only ever been to places like this on a weekend night when they’re bound to be packed. When Tess came back over, she had another beer for me.