Rules of the Game

by Neil Strauss

  NAME MNEMONICS

  Type of Routine: Value Demonstration

  Difficulty Level: 3/10

  Success Rate: 96.9%

  Saturation: 0%

  Comments: “This is a great conversation piece. People really got into it, and had a great laugh the more ridiculous the mental image was.”—Farmer

  Origin: One of the routines Mystery and I used to teach at workshops was called the Peg System, which uses mnemonic devices to make it appear as if one has a perfect memory. One day, at a house party, I was demonstrating the peg system to a supermodel, and she said that her ex-boyfriend was a magician who used to do the same thing. She recommended a Website on mnemonics, from which I learned the following technique. I also searched online to find out if her ex-boyfriend was a pickup artist. It turned out he was David Blaine.

  HER: What’s your name?

  YOU: I’m [name].

  HER: I’m Hilary. This is Donna. And that’s Tony.

  YOU: Okay… Hilary… Donna… Tony [pausing between each name and looking at each person]. You know, I used to be really bad with names.

  HER: Oh my God, I’m so bad with names.

  YOU: But you don’t have to be. You’re probably just doing it wrong. Like, for example, I used to repeat names in my head and then, ten seconds later, forget them. Here, I’ll show you super-quick how to always remember names, and then I really have to go.

  HER: Okay.

  YOU: It’s great for meetings and things. All you have to do when introduced to someone is make a picture in your head. So if you’re Hilary, I just imagine you but with Hillary Clinton’s face. No offense. And for you, Donna, I just picture like the dawn, and the sun rising over your head. And for Tony, I see you on the front of a box of Frosted Flakes like Tony the Tiger. Here, try it.

  Originally, I’d follow this up by having the group memorize my name. But it came off as slightly cheesy, like I was trying to trick them into remembering me. So, instead, grab a friend—or a stranger in the club (particularly another person you want to meet)—and teach the group how to memorize that person’s first, middle, and last name. Let’s say the person’s name is Thomas Scott McKenzie. As you’re doing this, remind them:

  YOU: You can’t just think about the visual image. You actually have to picture it in your mind. So try to imagine him wearing a Thomas Jefferson wig [pause to give them time to visualize it], but with the face of Scott Baio underneath it [pause] and, for McKenzie, say a big yellow McDonald’s M in his hands with a Ken doll grinning out of the middle. So you have Thomas Scott McKenzie.

  Feel free to substitute the references for anything you think the group will relate to. When in doubt, just ask if they know someone else with the same name and have them picture that person’s face.

  What’s most fun about the routine is that later in the night (especially when Thomas Scott McKenzie passes by) or even on the phone the next day, you can quickly test them and see if they still remember the name. If you taught this correctly, after a little struggling, they’ll always get it. If the routine still holds their interest, at some point you can also explain how it works:

  YOU: Most people try to repeat someone’s name in their head to memorize it, but they always forget it. This is because, when you’re a baby, you don’t have language. You have images, and that’s how you interpret and understand the world. So making and storing pictures is the best way to commit anything to memory, because that’s what we’ve been doing all our lives.

  BLOOD-STROLOGY

  Type of Routine: Value Demonstration

  Difficulty Level: 6/10

  Success Rate: 88.5%

  Saturation: 0%

  Comments: “This worked best when I had good rapport with the group and smoothly transitioned into the routine. It also worked on two sarcastic girls. When I told one she was probably an O type, then explained it, she agreed and actually said she’d get a test to find out.”—Shure

  Origin: While I was taking medical classes for the book Emergency, I learned which blood types were compatible in transfusions. And it made me wonder: If people put so much stock in astrology and how the movement of celestial bodies affects our behavior and personality, shouldn’t they pay at least as much attention to the blood flowing through our veins and the effect that must have on us? So that night, while talking with George Rockwell, one of the Stylelife coaches, we decided to look into whether there was a science of personality reading and relationship compatibility based on blood type. The next day, he found a Japanese system of hemo-divination. So we made some modifications and ended up with this.

  YOU: So I was with a friend from Japan the other day, and he was saying that people’s personality—and the people they’re compatible with—can be determined by their blood type. It’s like their equivalent of astrology. Except he claimed it was more accurate, because astrology is about things billions of miles in the sky, but our blood runs through our body so it has a stronger effect. So far I’ve found this stuff to be surprisingly accurate. Do you know your blood type by any chance?

  If she doesn’t know her blood type:

  YOU: Yeah, it would be good to know. I’m curious how accurate this whole thing is. I’ll tell you what: let’s try to figure out which personality profile fits you the best, and you can find out later if it matches your blood type.

  Use the following descriptions to guess her blood type. If she actually checks with her parents or doctor, you’ve definitely made an impression.

  If she knows her blood type, then proceed with the corresponding analysis below. Feel free to embellish it with your cold-reading skills. You might want to copy these descriptions onto your phone or a piece of paper, so you can refer to them if necessary. Just explain that you wrote down the information your friend gave you so you could remember it.

  Note that the blood type compatibilities below apply only to interactions, not transfusions, which require more than a routine to perform successfully.

  KEY

  Type A: The Farmer. People with blood type A are known for being able to stay calm under pressure. They are hard workers who like to keep the peace and live comfortably, which can lead to strong relationships with the right person. However, they sometimes feel like outcasts, which tends to give them amazing artistic talents but also makes them somewhat shy and sensitive. They secretly crave success and are known to be perfectionists, though they can occasionally be stubborn and overly cautious. Type A is most compatible with types A and AB.

  Type B: The Hunter. Type Bs are the most dependable of the blood types. They can be counted on to finish any project they start. They’re good at following directions but prefer to find their own way to complete a given task. They tend to have one-track minds, and usually focus on what they’re working on at that moment to the exclusion of everything else. They can seem cold, because they tend to stick to logic rather than emotion when dealing with people. They are often perceived as individualists and can sometimes appear selfish. Type B is most compatible with types B and AB.

  Type AB: The Humanist. Type ABs tend to be passionate lovers but are also known for their somewhat unpredictable, dualistic nature: hot and cold, timid and confident, the life of the party and the shyest person you know. They tend to be easily overwhelmed by responsibility. AB types are known for being trustworthy and honest, but also generally have a dislike of custom and conformity. Type AB is compatible with all other blood types.

  Type O: The Warrior. Type Os are known for being energetic, social, and ambitious. They follow their passions and tend to set trends, but when something doesn’t interest them, they can get flaky. They’re easy to fall in love with, but also dangerous for this reason. They love attention, and generally listen well to others. They tend to say what’s on their mind (sometimes without thinking) and are generally confident, though they can also at times be jealous. Type O is most compatible with types O and AB.

  YOU: HEY, NEIL, THESE ROUTINES DON’T WORK.

  ME: OF COURSE THEY WORK, I�
��VE DONE THEM HUNDREDS OF TIMES, AS HAVE THOUSANDS OF GUYS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

  YOU: WELL, THEY’RE NOT WORKING FOR ME.

  ME: AH, THAT’S DIFFERENT THEN, HAVE YOU COMPLETED THE STYLELIFE CHALLENGE?

  YOU: [SHEEPISHLY] NO.

  ME: I THINK I SEE THE PROBLEM. GO COMPLETE THE STYLELIFE CHALLENGE FIRST, THEN GET BACK TO THESE.

  YOU: DO I HAVE TO? IT GOT HARD ON DAY 8, SO I STOPPED.

  ME: YES. IN ORDER FOR THESE ROUTINES TO BE EFFECTIVE, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW TO DELIVER THEM, WHY THEY WORK, AND, MOST IMPORTANT, AT WHAT POINT IN AN INTERACTION THEY SHOULD BE USED.

  YOU: SO TIMING IS EVERYTHING?

  ME: TIMING, TONALITY, BODY LANGUAGE, CONGRUENCE, CALIBRATION, CURIOSITY, SPONTANEITY, ATTITUDE, INTUITION, EXPERIENCE. EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING. IT ALL COUNTS. THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT WOMEN. IT’S ABOUT YOU, AND MAKING YOURSELF A BETTER PERSON. SO THE ROUTINES ONLY WORK IF YOU WORK.

  THE FIVE QUESTIONS BET

  Type of Routine: Value Demonstration/Playful Game

  Difficulty Level: 2/10

  Success Rate: 95.7%

  Saturation: 0%

  Comments: “This is one of the easiest bar bets to inject fun into the night and raise the energy level. With different girls, I did the bet for a phone number, a free drink, a truth or dare question, and a kiss—and got all of them.”—20spot

  Origin: While trying to improve my game, I spent a weekend with a hustler friend learning dozens of the betting games he uses to con bar patrons into buying him a drink. I noticed that even when people lose a drink, they almost always feel it was worth it for the entertainment. The following remains my favorite bar bet.

  YOU: I’ll tell you what: To decide who gets the first round of drinks [alternately, you can bet a dollar, a cup of coffee, a hand massage, or anything small], let’s play a little game to make it fun. It’s called the five questions bet.

  HER: What’s that?

  YOU: I’m going to ask you five questions, and all you have to do is answer each one incorrectly. Just so you know, there’s no trick question that doesn’t have a wrong answer. It’s very easy to win this, if you can just answer five questions in a row wrong.

  HER: Hmm. Okay.

  YOU: And make your answers as surreal as possible, so I know they’re wrong. Fair?

  HER: Sounds fair.

  YOU: Do you want a practice question, or should we just start?

  HER: Let’s start.

  YOU: Okay. What’s your name?

  HER: Bill. [Some people will actually say their real name and lose on the first question. These are probably not the ones you’ll want to consider for a long-term relationship.]

  YOU: Well done. What city are we in?

  HER: Vatican City.

  YOU: Great. Okay, now what’s the name of this bar [or café or mall or whatever]?

  HER: Wal-Mart.

  YOU: Great. So … [pause and switch the tonality of your voice; also look down, touch your face, and act a little confused] how many questions was that so far?

  HER: [If she answers “three,” then you win. If she figures out what you’re doing and answers with another number, then proceed to the fifth question.]

  YOU: [impressed and shocked] Oh my God, you got me! Have you played this game before?

  HER: No!

  YOU: Ha—I got you! [Pause.] Thanks for the drink.

  HER: Oh God, I can’t believe I did that.

  YOU: Here, to make you feel better about losing, I’ll teach you how it works so you can win drinks from your friends. On the fourth question, always ask, “How many was that so far?” That question is designed to trip up someone who’s helpful by nature. And the fifth question, “Have you played this before?” is designed to trip up someone who’s proud or egotistical. So between those two questions, you basically have most people covered. And you’re obviously not a helpful person. [Or alternatively, “And you’re obviously a helpful person.”] Good to know.

  THE AMAZING TABLE PSYCHIC

  Type of Routine: Value Demonstration/Magic

  Difficulty Level: 5/10

  Success Rate: 81.3%

  Saturation: 0%

  Comments: “This can be used as an opener if you choose to. Simply say, ‘Hey guys, can I borrow you a sec? I’m trying to show my friend this thing because he doesn’t believe it works.’ This usually started some playful touching afterward as the girl kept trying to find out how I did it.”—Symphonie

  Origin: I was at Jerry’s Diner in Los Angeles teaching a friend some of these value demonstrations. As we were talking, the manager, Mike, came by, and we started discussing game. After I explained the basics to him, he said he wanted to show us something he had learned in high school. He whispered a few words to my friend, and then this is what he did.

  THE EFFECT

  YOU: You know what’s interesting? People leave energy behind wherever they go. Like, if you touch something, you leave a sort of psychic imprint.

  HER: Really?

  YOU: I’ll give you an example. I’m going to gather some items on the table. [As you talk, arrange six different items—such as a cell phone, keys, a crumpled napkin, and so on—in three rows of two on the table. The arrangement should look like the six on a die.] When I leave the room, touch any object and I’ll be able to tell which one you chose by feeling the energy on it. In fact, if you want, you don’t even have to touch it. Just hold your hand briefly above the object.

  Leave the room, and make sure it’s clear to the woman that you can’t see the table. When you return, hold your hand above each object to feel the energy. When you’ve built just enough suspense, make your selection.

  YOU: Was it this object?

  HER: Yeah! How did you do that?

  YOU: [pause, then reluctantly] Can you keep a secret?

  HER: Yes.

  YOU: [breaking into a smile] So can I.

  HOW IT’S DONE

  Your wingman should have a drink and a cocktail napkin in front of him before the routine begins. When you leave the room, he observes which object the woman selects. At some point before you return to the table, he should take a sip of his drink and then place the glass on the edge or corner of the napkin that corresponds to the placement of the object she selected.

  Remember that the objects are laid out in three rows of two. So if she selects the object in the upper-left corner of the group, your wingman places his drink in the upper-left corner of the napkin. If she selects the object in the second row, on the right side, your wingman places his drink in the center of the right edge of the napkin. And so on.

  In my experience, no one’s ever figured this out. But don’t worry if she happens to know how you did it, she catches you, or you mess up. The point of this routine is not to convince women you’re psychic, but simply to avoid mundane small talk and have fun. As long as everyone’s smiling or laughing, the routine is succeeding.

  THE LYING GAME

  Type of Routine: Value Demonstration

  Difficulty Level: 5/10

  Success Rate: 75%

  Saturation: 3.4%

  Comments: “Although on paper this looks complicated, it went really well. Watching Derren Brown videos on YouTube, as well as searching Google for NLP and eye movement articles, gave me a greater understanding of the routine and more things to talk about. With the popularity of TV shows like Lie to Me, a couple people said they knew this, but I just told them this was more accurate.”—Diamond

  Origin: One of the hundred-plus books I read while studying social dynamics was Never Be Lied to Again by David Lieberman. At the time, I was interviewing the singer Carly Simon for the New York Times, and during the conversation I suggested she read the book. A week later, she called and said she’d bought ten copies. “So you really liked it?” I asked. She replied: “I didn’t read it. I just bought a bunch of copies and gave them to all my friends, so they’d be too scared to lie to me.” That conversation set off an exploration into more clever and subtle ways to spot lies, leading to this r
outine.

  YOU: You know, there’s a way you can always figure out whether or not someone is telling the truth. It’s good to know, because if your boyfriend comes home late one night and says, “I was out bowling with the guys,” you can bust him on the spot if he’s lying.

  THEM: I’d love to know that.

  YOU: Okay, we’ll need one of you to be the liar then. Hmm, you seem right for that. So here’s what we’re going to do …

  Whisper the following to the rest of the group, so that the liar doesn’t hear.

  YOU: Watch for a change in her eye movements as she’s answering each question.

  To the subject:

  YOU: Okay, do you have a brother or a sister?

  LIAR: [Answers the question.]

  YOU: Okay, choose one of them. [If she doesn’t have a sibling, have her choose her car or her bedroom.] So for this test, you’re going to think of five facts about your brother. Don’t say them out loud, just think them. But don’t think about each fact until I tell you to. I’ll say “one,” then think the first fact. When I say “two,” think the second fact. And so on. Ready?

  LIAR: Okay.

  YOU: And make one of the five facts a lie. [Give her this piece of information at the last minute, so that she doesn’t think of the lie in advance]. Okay, one [pause to give her time to think]. Two [pause]. Three [pause]. Four [pause]. Five [pause].

  To the rest of the group:

  YOU: Okay, which one do you think was a lie?