Before the Rains

by Dinah Jefferies

  She shrank from the menace in his tone. ‘Why would anything happen?’

  ‘Just a figure of speech, Miss Fraser. But you saw what took place at the polo.’ He spread his hands and, with a look of mock desolation, shrugged.

  This made Eliza feel certain Chatur had been the one behind Jay’s fall, and now the worry was not only for herself but for Jay too. Although defenceless, she could not allow Chatur the pleasure of seeing how much she was affected, so she did her best to swallow her fear. The veiled threat was bad, but also her movements would now be terribly restricted. Things couldn’t be any worse.

  She wished Jayant would come home, and now that Chatur knew the truth, Laxmi would also know. Ashamed at concealing her true status, she fought to control her distress. What would Laxmi say? And with her every move under the scrutiny of Chatur, how safe would she be at the castle? Eyes smarting, hands sweating, she told herself not to be silly. Nothing worse would happen to her. He was just a bully, wasn’t he?

  14

  When Jay still did not return, Eliza knew her only ally was gone; the chattering concubines no longer called for her, and her access to the castle was severely restricted. She occasionally spotted Anish’s daughters roller-skating, but as she was always accompanied by a guard she dared not call out to them. It was clear the guards had been given orders to disrupt her plans and, feeling trapped and frustrated, time hung heavily. At times she felt she might drown in silence that was never truly silent.

  As the images she was able to capture grew fewer and more formal, she began to feel she was destined to fail her brief. Her nightmares returned too, only now it was not only the terrible noise of a bomb exploding, the blast thundering over and over in her head, but also the smell of burning flesh in her face and in her hair. She woke scraping and scratching her skin. If not that, she would see her father’s face disintegrate before her eyes, to be replaced by the image of a funeral pyre, and then she would wake trembling, her nightdress sticking to her skin and her hair soaking wet.

  Most of the time she was still aware of being followed, and frequently expected to come across someone lying in wait. But was she more afraid of actually being followed or of what was going on in her head at the thought of worse? She had to hope Chatur was all talk and that she wasn’t in any danger, but it was only human to consider packing up and leaving. And yet, if she were to leave, what would there be for her in England? She’d spent a great deal of her money on her equipment, relying on this project to lead to greater things. While she was being paid on a monthly basis, an unfinished project meant no lump sum at the end and a damaged reputation as a photographer.

  She was walking along the corridor to her room planning her next batch of photographs when she froze and then quickly slipped into an alcove. She had spotted a man backing out of her bedroom surreptitiously and locking the door after him. When she was certain he had gone, she ran to her room, her hands shaking as she turned the key in the lock. Inside he’d done well to cover up his presence but, while everything was more or less in place, she could see that her belongings on the dressing table had been moved around. Now, faced with the evidence that she really was under observation, she felt scared and very angry. How dare they enter her room without permission? She was certain she had recognized the man as one of Chatur’s guards, so Chatur had to be behind it. She dragged a chair and leant it against the door. It wasn’t much of a deterrent.

  The next morning, after a fearfully sleepless night, the guard left her alone outside. She sat on one of the giant swings, capable of accommodating four women at a time, and as she dragged her toes on the ground she heard a voice and looked up to see Indi walking towards her.

  ‘Did you tell them?’ she asked straight away. It stung to think Indi had given her secret away, and she couldn’t mask her annoyance.

  Indi frowned.

  Eliza raised her voice. ‘Did you tell them I’m a widow?’

  ‘Of course not.’

  ‘Then who?’ Eliza prompted. This was a closed society, rife with whispers and rumours, and secrets would find a way of slipping out. She knew that.

  ‘I don’t know,’ the girl finally said.

  ‘Well, the truth is out and I’m constantly under observation. I don’t know what they think I’ll do.’

  Indi sighed. ‘Contaminate the other women, probably. Look, let me help you. I know all the hidden places in this castle, better even than the guards. I can get you out without them knowing.’

  ‘They want to veto the contact prints.’

  ‘I can smuggle them out too.’

  ‘You’d really help?’

  Indi nodded, and Eliza hoped she was being genuine. ‘And I can also show you the secret passage between the zenana and the mardana or men’s quarters. It’s great for overhearing what’s going on.’

  ‘What can I do for you in exchange?’

  Indi smiled. ‘I’ve been thinking about that. I’m sorry I was mean. You offered to show me how photography works. Not just the technical detail but the artistry. Would you still be prepared to do that?’

  This glimmer of hope delighted Eliza and, coaxed into believing all was well, she took the girl’s hand. ‘I’d be happy to. Truly. We can learn to see the world together. Let’s help each other.’

  In the darkest of times just one friend might be enough, Eliza thought as she got to her feet. And as they walked up the narrow staircase to her rooms, she questioned Indi about her early life.

  The girl paused and stood still. ‘I loved my grandmother.’

  ‘I met her. Did you know that?’

  Indira nodded. ‘I heard.’

  ‘Jay told me a little about what happened. Your grandmother thought you might be in danger.’

  ‘I wore a necklace round my neck all the time. Most children did. Then one day it was missing. I swore I hadn’t lost it myself and when a suspected witch was found dead with an axe in her back, my grandmother knew my necklace had been taken while I slept and I would be in danger too. It is a backward sort of a place and the villagers are peasants. I had no mother, no father, and ideas above my station.’

  Eliza recalled the softly rounded lines of the ochre-painted huts and their surrounding wall. ‘It seemed peaceful.’

  ‘Peaceful enough, but I was not submissive and they thought I should have been buried in an earthenware pot.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘It’s what they used to do with unwanted girl babies. Many newborn girls were put in clay pots and buried in the desert. Ask your Resident. The British dug up some of them.’

  Horrified, Eliza gasped. ‘You mean buried alive?’

  ‘I don’t know. Probably, yes, so they didn’t have to actually kill them. In a way it’s understandable. The people are poor and girls are costly. The parents get no return on their investment and then, when the girls have to leave to live with their husband’s family, there is nobody to look after them in their old age. They are left with broken hearts, because of course they grow to love their daughters. It is said a mother cries when a girl is born but weeps when she must leave. Boys stay, you see.’

  ‘It doesn’t still go on? The infanticide?’

  Indi shrugged. ‘It’s surprising how many girl babies are said to have been taken by wolves.’

  15

  February

  Eliza felt a moment of dread when she came face to face with Chatur the very next day, but she knew that no matter how frightened she was, she had to stand up to the man and, as she drew back her shoulders, she resolved to give voice to her anger and frustration.

  ‘Why are you having me followed?’ she demanded, fighting to control the tremor in her voice but feeling the flush in her cheeks. ‘The truth. I know it is one of your guards.’

  He frowned and drew himself up tall, then took a step towards her. ‘I warned you that you would be accompanied at all times.’

  ‘Oh, no. I’m not letting you get away with that. This is different. Stealthy. And I saw somebody leaving my rooms.’r />
  He smiled coldly. ‘One of the cleaning maids, no doubt.’

  She held his gaze. ‘It was a man.’

  ‘You have a fertile imagination, Miss Fraser. If I were you I’d keep that in check. And remember, whatever you may think of me I am not a stupid man. Wild accusations won’t go down well with Anish, and if you go running with tittle-tattle you will not be believed. I shall make quite sure of that.’

  ‘Tittle-tattle!’

  ‘You don’t fool me. I know you have been placed here to watch us. Who are you really working for?’

  Eliza almost laughed. ‘That is utterly ridiculous.’

  ‘Is it?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Then ask yourself this: does your Mr Salter ask you detailed questions about our life here?’

  She glanced at her feet but didn’t reply.

  He raised his brows. ‘I think that rather proves my point. I hardly need to say we don’t take kindly to interlopers here. I advise you to watch your step. Good day, Miss Fraser.’

  Eliza was fully aware that Chatur could be a danger, but as for his claim that he believed her to be a spy, it seemed like a nonsense concocted to undermine her. Should she speak to Laxmi about this? Maybe, but what if she wasn’t believed? What if Chatur was already spreading lies to undermine her? No. Better to hold her nerve and keep her suspicions to herself until she got the chance to speak to Clifford. In any case, she still needed to ask him to persuade Anish to allow her full access again, and as both he and Jay had been absent for some time it had left her feeling adrift. The trouble was, the thing that now stuck in her mind was that from the start Clifford really had asked detailed questions about what she’d seen at the castle.

  As it turned out, it was Jay she told when he turned up unexpectedly later that day. He knocked on her door and when she opened up he was standing there, with a burgundy blanket loosely thrown over his shoulders and a friendly look in his eyes.

  ‘Pleased to see me?’ he said, and beamed at her.

  She breathed a sigh of relief and had to hold on to the doorframe to stop her legs from trembling. ‘You have no idea.’

  ‘I’m not here for long. Shall we walk? In the town, I mean.’

  ‘I’d love to get out,’ she said. Anything would be preferable to staying at the castle at the moment. ‘Is it all right to just go?’

  ‘Absolutely, why wouldn’t it be? Just make sure you wrap up. There’s a real chill in the air.’ He laughed. ‘Though after Yorkshire it’s nothing.’

  ‘So you did go to England?’

  He nodded, and held out an arm for her to pass on ahead.

  In the town, winter, for what it was worth, had changed nothing. Stalls were still wide open on to the street and people milled about as usual, though now wrapped in blankets. Nobody appeared to be wearing a coat – mainly, she assumed, because there was no rain during this bright blue chilly time.

  ‘Chai?’ he offered, and brought two cups of the hot sweet drink over to her. ‘It always tastes better in the cold, I think.’

  They drank their tea, then she stopped to examine some exquisite silk shawls in gorgeous reds, blues and golds. A deep peacock blue-green one caught her eye and she fingered its silky smooth texture. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jay approach the trader and after a brief negotiation he came over to her. ‘It’s yours. Silk and cashmere, he said.’

  ‘Really, I can’t.’

  ‘Of course you can. Regard it as a token of my esteem.’ He gently wrapped it around her head and then touched her cheek. ‘Beautiful. Brings out the colour of your eyes.’

  She felt her skin reddening but smiled up at him. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘So how have you been?’

  She hesitated for a moment. ‘A lot has happened. Chatur has convinced Anish to restrict my movements, but the thing that has really worried me is that I saw a man leaving my rooms. I challenged Chatur, but he denied it and accused me of being some kind of spy. I ask you? How crazy is that?’

  ‘It is actually insufferable. But what triggered these restrictions?’

  ‘Chatur found out that I am a widow. It seems to have given him carte blanche to do whatever he wants. They think I’ll contaminate other women.’

  His face clouded and he glanced away. ‘Doesn’t sound good. I’ll talk to Anish.’

  ‘Well, I’m not sure if it will help. If you speak to Anish, and he ticks off Chatur, the man will hate me even more than he does now. They’ve been following my every move. I thought at first it was my imagination but now I’m certain.’

  ‘I’ll get a locksmith to change the locks on your room. Chatur doesn’t have to know, and only you will have the key. Or if you feel that’s not enough, maybe you could stay at your friend Dottie’s house.’

  Eliza pulled a face. ‘Dottie’s lovely, though I’m not sure I’d want to be so close to Clifford.’

  ‘Maybe a case of the devil you know?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘We need to keep you safe. I’ll sort out the locks, but then I’ll be off to Jaipore later today. Only for a few days this time. If you feel in any danger while I’m gone, go to your friend. And see Clifford to get your restrictions reversed. He’s back now.’

  That night, after she was satisfied that her new lock was in good working order, she waited for Indi. When the girl turned up with Indian clothing, Eliza changed and followed her to the lower corridors. She had decided to put her faith in Indi and hoped that she’d be able to slip around at least some parts of the castle undetected. While she would initiate the girl into the arts of photography, Indi was going to ensure she could exit the castle, either very early to take photographs or, as now, at dusk to deliver the prints.

  When they heard someone cough further down the corridor, Eliza hung back, glancing around for an alcove while Indi walked on. If it was Chatur, or one of his loyal guards, she’d never get the prints to Clifford. Chatur would impound them and that would be that. Eliza suspected that, not far from the main store rooms, with the aroma of cardamom, chilli and coriander spicing the air, this long sloping corridor ran parallel to the kitchens. There was something else too; even down here the cloying scent of incense from evening prayers drifted through the dark spaces, which, along with the smell from the occasional oil lamps, made it hard to breathe freely.

  She heard a laugh. Indi, she thought, and waited a little longer before deciding to risk moving. When she did, Indi was waiting for her.

  ‘Almost there,’ the girl whispered, and beckoned her on. ‘No problem.’

  ‘We seem to be going further down?’

  ‘I want to show you something before we leave the castle. It is not quite dark yet, so a few minutes longer won’t hurt.’

  After a few more minutes Indi paused again. There was no oil lamp here, but in the gloom Eliza could make out a framed drawing of the castle hanging on the rough stone wall. Indi lifted it off and carefully placed it on the ground. Then, with the aid of a file she took from a pocket, she dislodged a small stone and put her ear to the hole in the wall.

  ‘Your turn. Listen.’

  Eliza hesitated.

  A broad grin spread across Indi’s face and Eliza couldn’t help liking the younger woman’s enthusiasm – the way she grasped at everything life offered and to hell with authority.

  ‘Go on.’

  Eliza did as she was told. As she laid the side of her face against the icy cold stone wall, it wasn’t the cold that shocked her; it was the voices she could hear. She appeared to be listening to Jay’s friend, Devdan.

  ‘Don’t you see, we have to decide?’ he was saying.

  ‘I don’t see that it’s necessary,’ another man replied, though his voice wasn’t as loud or as clear. ‘Why should anything have to change?’

  ‘We will have to choose.’

  ‘You mean throw our lot in with a bunch of rebels?’ The voice was muffled, but Eliza was almost sure that was what he’d said and that it was Jay speaking. And yet she thought he had a
lready left Juraipore.

  ‘It’s either that or put your faith in a crumbling Empire. Your treaties will be worth nothing when the British fail.’

  ‘Will they fail? Do you believe that?’

  ‘You have seen the widespread civil disobedience. The British Crown is finished.’

  There was silence, then the sound of chairs being scraped back. Eliza shook her head and turned to Indira. ‘How many people know about this?’

  ‘It’s a listening shaft. A narrow tunnel or tube. I unblocked it one day when I was younger. It’s mentioned in an old book of castle records and I worked out where it might roughly be.’

  ‘Nobody else knows?’

  ‘I can’t be sure, there might be others. These fortresses were terribly perilous in the old days. Riddled with intrigue and murder because everyone was after the throne for themselves. I made it my business to learn the secrets of the castle while I was still a child. Everyone ignored me and I could hide easily, so it wasn’t too hard. When Laxmi realized what I was up to she asked me to keep an eye on Chatur. She doesn’t trust him.’

  ‘Where was Devdan talking just now?’

  ‘Jay has a small study just off the corridor leading to the men’s quarters.’

  ‘You should have told him about this.’

  ‘Why give away what little power I have?’

  ‘But you like him?’

  Indi snorted. ‘I have to look out for myself.’

  And as they walked to a low archway that led to one of several tunnels connecting to an exterior courtyard, Eliza could well believe that someone with Indi’s background would need to find ways to protect herself, whatever it took and whoever she might have to betray. Maybe Laxmi’s support alone just hadn’t been enough for Indi.

  ‘Have you thought any more about who told Chatur you were a widow?’ the girl said.

  ‘A little, but I don’t know yet.’

  ‘It might have been Dev, I suppose. Did he know?’

  Eliza nodded and turned the idea over in her mind. Maybe it had been Dev who’d told Chatur or, far worse, might it even have been Jay? Had he let the truth slip? It was an awful thought that made her feel terribly at sea. Surely it couldn’t have been Jay? She had trusted him and he would not have gained anything by it. But the thought would not let her go as she followed Indi out to the courtyard, where water, tumbling from fountains in the shape of peacocks, glittered in the light from the windows beyond, and lamps of clay dotted along the pathways guided their feet.