Here We Come (Aggie's Inheritance)

by Chautona Havig

  “You’re just jealous,” Tina teased.

  “No, I was thinking I could use it and take back the one we bought!”

  “I tried to get blue toilet paper, but I couldn’t find any—even online. You just can’t get it anywhere anymore. So, instead of ‘blue’ this game had to be ‘new’ because I do not want old or borrowed toilet paper anything.”

  “Hogwash,” Aggie protested. “If I run out, you’d be thrilled to get borrowed toilet paper from Murphy or Mrs. Dyke.”

  “I might be,” the antebellum-looking tissue bride agreed, “but they certainly wouldn’t want it returned. I say the TP is given, not loaned and therefore received, not borrowed.”

  “And she wonders why her father wanted her to be a lawyer!”

  Vannie was in charge of the next game. For her game, the ladies were instructed to “loan” an accessory to Aggie. Aggie didn’t quite understand the point of the game. Sure, she’d look totally ridiculous with two hats, four bracelets, several purses, and the list kept growing… but to what purpose?

  “I see that Aggie is just as confused as you all were about this one. It was Vannie’s idea and at first, I thought it was just a way to make her look silly. Now,” Tina added with a mischievous look in her eye, “I am all for doing my part to make Aggie look silly, but she usually doesn’t need my help.”

  “You are so dead. Watch yourself… someone taught me all sorts of tricks like short-sheeting beds and such.”

  “Ah, and now I am warned. Glad to know it. Anyway, look at our lovely bride. Doesn’t she look charming?”

  With the way the cameras were clicking, Aggie had a feeling that charming was not the word she’d use. “I feel like I must be a runway star with all those camera flashes.”

  “See! Just beautiful. Vannie, get the mirror.”

  It truly was a horrifying sight. Aggie looked worse than any of the twins’ attempts to “dress up” in her clothes and shoes. “I think that second pair of shoes was overkill, but the rest…”

  “Ever the diplomat. She looks ridiculous, doesn’t she?”

  The room agreed, their laughter bubbling over now that they seemed to have been given permission. “I feel ridiculous.”

  “Now, Vannie’s idea was that the accessories were like advice. It works to wear a few things at a time, but all at once is too much. We’ve all written down our ideas for how to help you have the best marriage you can, but I think Vannie’s ‘advice’ is best. Don’t try to ‘wear’ them all at once or you might end up looking pretty ridiculous.”

  Several of the younger girls helped Vannie remove the excess things and return them to their owners. “That was brilliant, Vannie. What gave you that idea?”

  “Mommy said that the stupidest—and you know how Mommy hated that word—thing she ever did was to try to follow all the advice she got at once. She was talking about with me when I was a baby, but I thought it might fit here. Mommy said she felt like she was wearing everyone’s mantles and they were stifling her.”

  Aggie hugged her niece, whispering, “Thank you. That was definitely the best advice of the day.”

  “And here’s the basket of other pieces of advice. I’m sure you’ll appreciate ‘borrowing’ the ideas one or two at a time.”

  The next game was a modern take on an “old” TV show. “We’re going to play the “Newlywed Game!” Tina called.

  All eyes turned toward the door, but it didn’t open. However, a TV was pulled out from the cabinet and Tina turned it on, ready with Luke’s pre-recorded answers. “Ok, we have ten questions. The one to get the most right wins. If there is a tie breaker necessary, Luke said I could call and he’d let us do it over speaker phone.”

  The first question seemed easy. What day of the week did Luke say he first saw Aggie? Without hesitation, Aggie scribbled Friday and put her index card in her lap as instructed. The second question was called just as she realized she wrote the wrong answer. “Wait, can I change it?”

  “Nope.”

  “Meanie.”

  “Yep. Next question. What did Luke say would be his nickname for Aggie if he couldn’t call her ‘Mibs?’”

  The question seemed impossible. He could call her a million things. Why not just Aggie? He didn’t seem like a dear or darling kind of guy. A new idea occurred to her and she wrote her answer—Aggie-Sully-Mommie. It had to be.

  Strange questions about why his favorite dessert was his favorite and what number would never be on his speed dial flew out. The women didn’t hesitate in their answers, which made Aggie very suspicious. Rigging the game in order to make her the winner seemed to be a very inhospitable thing for Tina to do.

  “Ok, let’s hit play and see what the answers were! First question.” The video played and the room heard Tina ask, “Ok, Luke. What day of the week did you first see Aggie?” She hit pause. “Ladies, show me your answers.”

  Reluctantly, Aggie showed her answer, and then scratched it out and wrote Sunday. “I forgot he saw me at the house in Rockland.” Her eyes scanned the room. “How did you guys all get that right?”

  “We’re good,” Mrs. Gantry called out gleefully.

  Without hesitation, Luke said, “I think Aggie would say Friday, but the truth is on Sunday.”

  “Ok, second question.” Tina punched play. “What nickname would you give Aggie if you couldn’t call her Mibs?” the TV Tina asked. This time, Tina allowed the DVD to play without interruption.

  Luke seemed to take his usual time to think and ponder, causing chuckles from those who knew him. “I think I’d probably be a lot like my mom and call her ‘my Aggie.’ It’s not very original, but it seemed instinctive. I know what she’ll answer though.”

  The DVD paused again while Tina called, “Show those answers!”

  Again, every woman in the room had “My Aggie” on their cards except for Aggie. She waited for Tina to hit play again and snickered as Luke said, “She’ll probably say Aggie-Millie-Mommie—or better yet, Aggie-Sully-Mommie.”

  “Impressive!” someone called out.

  Libby seemed incapable of letting that one pass without comment. “My Luke knows his Aggie.”

  “Ok, onto the next!”

  Answer after answer followed. Aggie got three correct—all three ones Luke predicted she’d get, which confused her. It took until the cards were collected and Tina played the rest of the DVD to understand what they’d done.

  “Um, sorry, Mibs. We kind of rigged this with questions we were sure you wouldn’t get and gave the other ladies the answers beforehand, so there’d be a tie. The tiebreaker is yours. You ask the question and Tina will call me. We’ll do it until someone gets it right, but Mom is disqualified. She knows both of us too well.”

  Vannie brought out a large gift basket full of everything a woman could want to pamper herself. “Good luck, ladies.”

  Trying to think of a question that the women could answer correctly, even though several did not know her at all, was not easy. At last, she grinned and said, “What will Luke say that I said—and man that already sounds convoluted—is my one regret about our getting married.”

  Answers were scribbled much slower this time. Some women stared at the floor or the ceiling as if asking for guidance from those directions—something that amused Aggie greatly. Others pursed their lips or bit the end of their pens. A few stared at her as if the answer would appear on her forehead, but Aggie just smiled and played with her engagement ring. A giggle from Vannie told her that the girl had figured it out. She put her finger to her lips. “Shh.”

  Slowly, one answer at a time, the cards were placed on everyone’s laps. “Ok, let’s call,” Tina announced. He picked up on the first ring. “How’d she do?”

  “You’re on speaker, Luke. She did great. Got every one right that you said she would.”

  “That’s my Aggie.”

  “Very funny.”

  “Did you go millie or sully.”

  “Sully.”

  “Yes!”

  The
room erupted in laughter. Tina had to settle everyone down again before she could ask Aggie’s question. “Ok, Aggie’s question was, ‘What will Luke say that she said is her one regret in you guys getting married?’”

  “Hm…” The silence from the other end was occasionally punctuated by the clear sounds of Ian trying to get the phone. “Well, Ian thinks he has the answer. My first thought was that the wedding wasn’t soon enough, but I think my second one is better; it encompasses that. I guess I’m going to say that she says I’ll say that it is that I didn’t ask her sooner.”

  The grin on Aggie’s face gave it away before she said, “And I bet you’re going to say that you would have asked sooner if I had been more forthcoming with my feelings, no?”

  “No… wasn’t going to say it but I did think it.”

  “That’s what I thought. Hmph.”

  “Say goodbye, Luke. This is a ladies’ function after all,” Tina chided. All the ladies called out congratulations and goodbyes before Tina disconnected the call, but Aggie’s mind was already on the prize.

  “Ok, did anyone get that answer?”

  Three ladies did, but two pointed to Iris Landry. “She was first, though.”

  Vannie nodded, as she carried the basket to Iris. “She was first out of everyone.”

  “Time for presents! Now, Aggie,” Tina began, “obviously the theme of the party is ‘Old, New, Borrowed, or Blue.’ So, your gifts are supposed to fit that theme, but I told the ladies not to kill themselves. Some had traditional gifts they always give to brides. Also, if they couldn’t find anything that fit the theme, I told them to go with whatever they liked since it’d likely be new or ‘old. Of course, I also encouraged everyone not to feel obligated to bring a gift. This is a shower of love.”

  Never had Aggie enjoyed opening gifts more. The ladies joked, teased, and the lengths to which they tried to avoid the “new” option of the theme were sometimes hilarious. One woman admitted to buying a book for another woman and selling it to the second woman for a penny less so it could be considered “used.” As Aggie pulled candles, CDs, notecards, and similar things from their wrappings, she realized how much work Tina went to in order to spare them triplicates of things they already owned.

  A few pieces of lingerie appeared, causing Aggie to blush furiously, something the rest of the ladies all seemed to find inordinately amusing. Libby seemed to wince as Aggie picked up one box and read the card attached. “It’s from my new mother! I can’t—oh no. Not really…”

  “Well, I wanted to be… encouraging. I thought it might be a nice thing to get from a mother, especially since your mother wasn’t doing well enough to come last minute.”

  Poor Libby couldn’t have said anything worse. Tears filled Aggie’s eyes as she pulled the ribbons from the package. Her mind filled with questions of what her own mother would have brought. Sure, they’d mail it or bring it to the wedding, but not to have her mother there that day, already hurt. To be reminded of it was a second blow.

  Nestled in lovely pink tissue was the prettiest pair of matching bra and panties that Aggie had ever seen. Her hand traced the lace, marveling that it felt soft instead of scratchy. There was uncertainty on Libby’s face, making Aggie feel terrible. She hurried across the room and hugged Luke’s mother. “Thank you. It means a lot to me.”

  As Aggie passed the last gift to her right, she looked out over the group and sighed. The feeling of contentment was unreal. These people, even those she didn’t know, had come together to give her a special day. The effort in gift giving alone seemed incredible to her.

  “Can I just say, and I know it’s probably tacky to do it, that I appreciate every single gift. Even if each one had been a toaster or a waffle iron or a regular iron—”

  “That I’m pretty sure Aggie doesn’t know how to use,” Tina interjected.

  “It would have been amazing that you took the time to find them and bless me with them. However, I just really appreciate how much work you guys went to in order to give me a variety of things that I don’t already own. That little vase from your own windowsill?” Aggie smiled at Theresa Torres. “It’s perfect. I’ll always think of you when I put the—ahem—flowers in it that the little ones bring me.”

  “Oh, dear. She’s getting sappy. I think it’s time we send her home so Luke can enjoy the benefits, and we don’t have to be embarrassed.”

  Milliken says: Hey sweetie, how was it?

  Aggie says: Not the same without you

  Milliken says: I’m sorry.

  Aggie says: Don’t be sorry. I just missed you.

  Milliken says: The doctor has me on some strong antibiotics and

  promises (after I threatened him with sure death otherwise) that I’ll be fine by the wedding.

  Aggie says: That’s good. I think if you couldn’t come, we’d just have to move it to earlier that day and do it at your house.

  Milliken says: Oh, don’t be silly. Now, what’d you get?

  Aggie says: It was fabulous. Everything is perfect for us. I think there were only a couple of things that weren’t something we really liked, but even those were useable.

  Milliken says: Like what?

  Aggie says: Mrs. Dyke gave us her favorite afghan. It’s probably the ugliest one I’ve ever seen, but it’s hers and we’ll use it.

  Milliken says: I was a little afraid Tina would make it a “personal” shower.

  Aggie says: There were a few personal items but not many. I think maybe five? Six?

  Milliken says: That’s good. At the church, it probably means they were nice and tasteful?

  Aggie says: Definitely. I was probably most embarrassed by Libby’s.

  Milliken says: Libby’s? Really?

  Aggie says: Gorgeous bra and panties. Totally tasteful, but Vannie commented about how she loved pretty underwear, but what was the point? No one sees them anyway. Then she “got it” and we were both embarrassed.

  Milliken says: It’s good for her to see a healthy attitude, not only from you, but from his mother. I’m glad she did it, and I suspect it was deliberate.

  Aggie says: Now that you mention it, you’re probably right.

  Aggie says: Anyway, I told Vannie that pretty things make you feel pretty even if you’re the only one who knows you’re wearing them, so we’re going shopping for a nice set for her to wear on Sundays.

  Milliken says: That’s a good idea. It’ll also help her keep perspective on things. Otherwise, she might get silly notions about them.

  Aggie says: Yep.

  Milliken says: And, how did Luke like everything?

  Aggie says: He helped me find homes for it all tonight—except the

  half-dozen boxes I put away first.

  Milliken says: Two weeks.

  Aggie says: Can you believe it?

  Milliken says: Are you ready?

  Aggie says: Yes and no. I mean, I could be thrilled if tomorrow was the day, but then when I think about the dozen things Tina asks me every day and how we don’t even have a license yet—yikes!

  Milliken says: Well, it’ll be here before you know it.

  Milliken says: How is Kenzie’s arm?

  Aggie says: Fine. The doctor trips are killing me though. It itches, she wants to scratch, she doesn’t like to protect it in the bath, but I insist, and so on and so on… It’s a nightmare.

  Milliken says: No more ice skating, eh?

  Aggie says: You got that right.

  Milliken says: That was a joke. She needs to go out as soon as she can.

  Aggie says: No way.

  Milliken says: I recommend you reconsider that. You’ll teach her to be fearful and a coward. Those things are worse than a broken bone now and then.

  Aggie says: We’ll see. I can’t think about that now.

  Milliken says: I’m getting the “glower” from your father. He says I have to close the laptop or you’ll suck me in by talking to him. He knows me too well. Well, goodnight. See you soon.

  Aggie says: Ok, then.
Goodnight.

  Chapter Twenty

  Jitters and Spats

  Wednesday, February 25th

  After days of waking up feeling like she’d been run over by a train, Aggie jumped out of bed completely refreshed. Panicked, she glanced at the clock, terrified that it would read ten o’clock or something, but it was only six-thirty. Just to be safe, she stuffed her feet in her slippers and hurried down the steps to the second floor. The children were, as the poem says, “nestled all snug in their beds,” although she didn’t expect any kind of sugarplums in their heads. It was probably more like assignments and chore lists.

  She started downstairs but then remembered her bed. Perhaps she might get it made before the first child woke up. Wouldn’t that be a novelty? The sheets looked extra rumpled, prompting her to try smoothing the top sheet in place. It was asking for trouble, but Aggie couldn’t resist the idea of changing them. She whipped the old ones off and had fresh ones in place in minutes.

  The room looked great. She scooped up the sheets and a few pieces of dirty clothing that needed to be washed and hurried downstairs. Not a sound on the second floor indicated that anyone had left the world of slumber for consciousness. She stuffed the sheets as well as a few towels in the washer, dumped soap in, shut the lid and cranked the dial. Hands in the air, she cheered breathily. “Yes! Score! I did it!”

  The kitchen clock said it was six forty-five. How was that possible? The kids would love it if she made pancakes. Should she do it? With pancakes, they’d need eggs for balance, but those were fast. Vannie could do them if time got away from her. Griddles oiled and heating, she began mixing ingredients, one eye on the clock at all times. If everyone arrived before the first one was done, she’d put it in the fridge and they could have pancakes for dinner.

  As usual, her first pancake was inedible. It seemed like there was an unwritten rule of pancake cookery. Her father had never been able to make a good first one either—Aggie’s one consolation as she dumped it in the garbage.