The Hustle (Irreparable #4)

by KJ Bell

  His mistake comes when he attempts to remove my jeans. He can’t free the button with one hand. Once he lowers his other hand, mine are free. I use them to push him back, following with a thrust of my foot into his belly. He grunts sailing backward, which gives me a few seconds to jump to my feet.

  When he dives forward, he barely misses my ankle. Before he’s on his feet, I’m already halfway down the hall, only inches from the front door. His footsteps pound into the floor behind me, but I keep going until I’m outside and run right into Mike.

  As I turn on to her street, red and blue flashing lights litter the scene in front of Peyton’s place. My chest collapses. A mere half of a mile separates me and whatever fate has planned for me. I didn’t make it in time to save her and if she’s hurt, or worse, the whole vicious cycle that’s been my life starts all over again.

  My phone vibrates and I look down to a text from Mike, she’s fine.

  The air rushes out of me, but I don’t feel relief as the remaining worry of how upset she’ll be with me and if she even wants to see me plagues my thoughts. But at least she isn’t hurt physically. She can hate me as long as she’s safe, I can live with that. Who am I kidding? I’m not about to live without her.

  I have to park a few houses down and walk to her place as there are dozens of emergency vehicles. After about two steps, I see her staring at me and jog to reach her at the bottom of her driveway. I’m confused because I thoroughly expected to find her crying and upset and angry, but the smile on her face is delightful.

  “Took you long enough.”

  It always does and this woman always waits for me. I don’t deserve her, but I’m fucking done fighting. “Better late than never,” I respond just as I did the last time we stood in this driveway.

  “I guess that depends on why you’re here.” She clearly remembers this conversation as well, but unlike before, I know my answer and I plan to take full advantage of my second chance.

  “I’m here because I’m in love with you, Peyton. I’ve always loved you. I’m here because the thought of living without you hurts more than opening up to you. I haven’t said it because I didn’t want you to have any power over me, but the truth is . . . you already do. You’re the first woman who hasn’t needed me and that scares the shit out of me. But then you did need me and I wasn’t here and that freaked me out too. The one thing I’m positive of is you’re the last woman I ever want to take a risk with.”

  She shakes her head with a smile that makes me melt on the inside. “I do need you, but not to save me.” Her palm presses flat on my chest above my heart. “I need what’s in here, Aidan. I need you to be with me. All of you, even the parts you try to hide, because they make you worthy.”

  I let out a painful sigh. “You’re the only one who sees it.”

  “Maybe I’m the only one who wants to.” She grins, looking me over. “I think you had time to put some clothes on.”

  And just like that, I’m positive I’m never going to lose this woman. That she’d never intentionally hurt me, and that she really is my angel.

  Roughly two hours later, we’re back at the loft and all is forgotten as I sink into the hot bath Aidan insisted I take. He even drew it for me, which I didn’t try to fight given my muscles are incredibly sore from the encounter with Robert.

  As I lie in the cocoon of bubbles, inhaling jasmine and chamomile, I can’t help but wonder what brings a man to snap the way Robert did? What trigger is in place to take a seemingly normal man and break him? For Aidan it was love and loss, but even when he was at his lowest, and lost to his anger, he didn’t hurt anyone. Or did he?

  He wanted Maria much in the same way Robert wanted me. When he couldn’t have her, he sought revenge just as Robert did. People were not only hurt, they lost their lives. The tears I don’t want to be there pool in my eyes and I don’t want them to fall but there’s nothing I can do to stop them.

  Essentially I’m in love with a man who carries the same sickness in him that Robert does. The water feels like it’s boiling as my emotions choke me and I begin to sob. I should have stayed away. Aidan warned me to stay away even, but I couldn’t. Why?

  Why couldn’t I listen?

  While I breathe through the anxiety, my thoughts focus on a woman I never met but feel an undeniable connection to. I suddenly see and feel the difference between a man like Aidan and a man like Robert.

  The desire Aidan felt was reciprocated by the object of his affections. His needs were about trying to protect a woman who had already given him her heart. He wasn’t seeking to take it from her to fulfill a fantasy.

  Their love was real as our love is real and that’s why I refused to listen. Because every time I look into his eyes, I see his heart. With overwhelming clarity, I understand who Aidan is and why he feels like such a failure. Only he’s isn’t because he tried. He tried to do the right thing, not only with Maria but with his family and with me.

  He tried to be strong for too long and the choices he made he thinks were wrong, but I think only time will tell for sure. I don’t know what our fate is or who decides it, but I like to believe things happen to us for a reason.

  Maybe Maria was always meant to leave life early. I feel like her meeting Aidan was about finding someone who needed a gift so she could leave her precious son with someone who needed a blessing. And Maybe Aidan needed to love and lose because he needed to grow before he could love me. None of us know for sure why such horrible things happen or how a man can snap, but there are reasons.

  Accepting those reasons and rolling with what life gives us is how we move on and live happily. Aidan’s regret will always be with him and there may be times I don’t like who that makes him, but I’ll always love him. His regret makes him who is, every fault, his weaknesses, his heart and soul are a part of me. The best parts.

  It’s been a little over a month since I came to terms with the only way to keep Peyton was to let go of Maria. Not that I’ll forget her or that I’ll ever stop loving her. It was releasing the blame I’d let chain me down that finally allowed me to fully give myself to Peyton. Things between us aren’t perfect. There are hiccups, but only minor ones that are usually resolved with a slap upside the head.

  And that would be my stubborn, clueless head.

  For the most part, we live typical, boring lives. Work, family dinners, soccer—normal family monotony and it’s fucking paradise. I never thrived in chaos, and now that it’s gone, I’m soaring.

  Dellisen is out of our life for the long haul. He violated his probation and the restraining order. Strange since he was weeks shy of his time being up. Combine that with kidnapping and a slew of other charges and the judge gave him the maximum. Even with good behavior, it will be at least eight years before he sees the outside of a cell.

  Peyton moved beyond the incident remarkably well. Robert left a scar on her ordinary life, but it isn’t large enough to damage her or change her. She’s too strong for that, although she gives me the credit. Claims my being here made it easier. I like to believe she’s right, that even if in a small way, she needed me.

  That day changed me. It was a come to Jesus moment of sorts. Knowing my insecurities and resentments put Peyton in harm’s way made me realize I had to go back to the man I was before hate took over. Through that, I’ve learned to like who I am again.

  I’m giddy with excitement as I watch Peyton get dressed so I can take her to a place where I can share something new with her. A place I haven’t been in a long time and I should have. It’s a place that’s always given me peace and provided happiness, where I feel unconditional love.

  “Where are we going, again?” she asks, buckling her sandal.

  “A birthday party,” Javier tells her, winking at me. He’s in on the surprise.

  When Liv called last week to tell me she was planning a surprise for Camilia’s birthday and that she was turning six, I could hardly believe it. True to his word, Rodrigo refuses to let anyone adopt Camilia or Paco that won’t ke
ep them together, which makes them happy. But it means they’ll probably grow up at The Center. That’s what makes the work Brady and I put in there that much more important. The Center isn’t an orphanage. It’s a home.

  All the time I spent lost, I never considered going there to find myself. When Liv phoned, it was a revelation. I’ve shared so much with Peyton about things that make me miserable and now I can’t wait to share something I feel immense pride in, and something positive.

  “Can you tell me who the party’s for?”

  “Camilia,” Javier answers.

  “A girl at school?”

  “A girl,” he answers, flashing me a grin before I send him from the room to fetch his shoes.

  I flop back on the bed, watching Peyton pull her blonde hair into a pony tail. She spins around with one eyebrow raised and lies on the bed on her stomach. “You don’t have some secret love child named Camilia that I’m about to meet, do you?”

  She can barely keep a straight face, especially when I slip a finger between her cleavage that is exposed by the low dip of her blouse. My behavior earns me a slap on my hand, so I sit up and yell, “Surprise.”

  “Brat.” She sticks her tongue at me. “Can you at least give me a hint?”

  “I’m taking you to a place that makes me happy. It’s special, and I want to share it with you.”

  His answer doesn’t give me a clue as to where we’re going, but it’s the insight into him that has me grinning like a fool. Since the incident with Robert, I’ve seen a huge change in Aidan. He’s exposed a side that, while still cocky as all get-out, is charming and hilarious and even more so, genuinely happy.

  There are times in fact I want to shake him and demand he be serious for once, but that boyish grin steals my heart every damn time. There are too many serious moments in his life and there will be more, so I choose to allow him the freedom to be an insatiable goofball the rest of the time. Besides, humor is a sexy trait which bodes well for my growing and insatiable appetite in the bedroom.

  Once I finish getting ready, we ride the elevator down to the garage while Javier snickers his delight in knowing something I don’t. All I can do is rub his little head and play along. I may not know the location, but between Aidan’s confession and Javier’s excitement, I know I want to go.

  We cross the border into Mexico and drive toward what I assume is Brady and Tori’s house. As my confused mind tries to sort out what’s special about Aidan’s brother’s place, we turn down a street that runs along the backside of downtown Tijuana. My curiosity grows when we pass the buildings and shops until we reach the far outskirts of town. We pull into the parking lot of what appears to be an old mission.

  On the walk toward the building, I spot a group of teenagers on the front steps and then I see Tori, Brady and Drew walking up from a few rows over. We join up with them and exchange hugs. As we continue to walk, I kind of hate feeling like the odd man out, and my insecurity has me grilling Tori. “Are you going to tell me what this place is?”

  She turns her head and the solemn look that flashes over her expression squeezes my heart. Only it vanishes in an instant as a bright smile lifts her lips. “This is the place that saved us.”

  The downright preacher voice she uses throws me. Saved them? I half expect to climb the stairs and enter some sort of religious cult, like the ones my mother warned me about when I told her I was moving to a city. She said there were people out there that weren’t right and would try to influence me.

  They’re definitely a group that needed saving and my heart pounds harder with each step. I certainly hope the plan isn’t to baptize me and that my cult name isn’t Camilia.

  As soon as Aidan holds the door open, I walk inside and feel relief. I’m not doomed to have five husbands or a dozen sister wives. Although, I’m still not clear on how what appears to be a home for children in waiting can offer Aidan and his family any kind of happiness, let alone save them.

  “Okay, what is this place?” I ask Aidan.

  “You’ll see.” He grins and I reside to wait it out.

  Brady, Tori and Drew break off to find Rodrigo and I pull Peyton toward the back door to search for the girl of the hour. It doesn’t take long to find her as she darts into the room from a side door.

  “Tuggie,” Camilia yells as she jumps into my arms. I hug her tight and feel how much I’ve missed her compressing my chest, but when she asks where Maria is, I can’t breathe. She waits for a response as I set her down.

  “She died,” Javier answers for me, stealing any joy from what this day was supposed to be. Only then, I realize it’s the first time I’ve heard Javier tell someone about Maria where he doesn’t sound sad. I feel pride as I look down at him.

  “I’m sorry,” Camilia tells him. She doesn’t have to say she knows how he feels. It shows in the tone of her voice. Her head turns as she looks at Peyton and then back to Javier. “Did you get a new mom?”

  “Not yet.” He Shrugs. The silence filling the air slices through me but it’s the sad smile on Peyton’s face that guts me. Bringing her here was a mistake. It’s when Javier continues, I realize what a blessing he is. “But, this is Peyton and she’s like my mom. Someday I hope her and my dad will get married. But he’s kinda slow.”

  The tiny rivers running out of Peyton’s eyes combined with Javier’s words are enough to make me question what I’m waiting for. They’re both a permanent fixture in my life. I’ve given marrying Peyton tremendous thought. Why am I waiting?

  “You’re lucky.” I assume Camilia’s referring to Javier getting a new mom, but she’s looking at Peyton like she idolizes her.

  “Yes, I am,” Peyton tells her quietly. “I’m Peyton and I hear it’s your birthday.”

  “Yep. I’m six and Auntie Liv is throwing me a party.”

  “Well, thank you for inviting me to your party.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  The pleasantries have obviously bored Camilia as she drags Javier away to play. The questioning look from Peyton starts the explanation of what this place is and how it came to be so special to me and my family.

  Peyton listens, nodding occasionally as we roam the grounds and I tell her about the summer my life was forever altered. How in the months that followed my mother’s suicide and the truth about Brady, this place was a sanctuary that allowed us to heal. How while we spent many hours helping here, it was spending time with the kids that helped us cope.

  We continue through the field of overgrown grass in the back and reach the solitary oak tree I’ve spent many hours sitting under before I stop walking and face her.

  Her eyes scour my expression and I give myself a moment to collect my thoughts so I can get this right. Once I feel completely relaxed, I take her hand in mine and inhale deep.

  “I’ve spent many hours under this tree. Pondering life and why mine was such a disaster. I brought you here with me because I was informed earlier that I’m slow.” She releases soft laughter into the air, squeezing my hand. “I’m done pondering. My life is no longer a disaster and you complete the family I’ve always wanted.” I cradle her face in my hands and hold strong so I can look her in the eyes. “Peyton Miles, will you marry me?”

  I continue holding her face as she reaches up and wraps her hands around my wrists. “Yes.”

  My lips find hers, kissing her long and deep as her love spreads through me until it reaches my heart, where I feel it beat with purpose for the first time.

  We spent an hour under that oak tree kissing and chatting about wedding plans and needing to pick out rings, until we hear children giggling nearby and have to chase them off. The smile on my lips refuses to soften as the happiness I feel about his proposal consumes me. He’s not the man he was when we met. He’s stronger and all of his experiences are what makes this time around perfect.

  Later in the afternoon, we start a game of Scrabble with Javier and Camilia. They get bored about five minutes in. I sit across from Aidan, who’s kicking my butt, but I ref
use to give up. I swear each time he lays down a new word it isn’t even a word and I have to Google it on my phone.

  Liv passes by the table but then stops and backs up. “You’re not playing Scrabble with my brother, are you?”

  “I’m trying, but he knows words no one’s ever heard of! He’s a freaky word-nerd.”

  “Or a human dictionary.” She casts a look at her brother. “You’re an ass.” The devilish grin on his face does nothing to dispute her accusation. “You didn’t tell her yet, did you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “My idiot brother has a photographic memory for shit he reads. He’s supposedly a genius, but don’t let that intimidate you because he has no common sense. But Scrabble . . . yeah, he’s read the dictionary like four times. Oh, and no games that involve math or numbers. Pictionary . . . now that you can school him at.”

  Liv shoots him another evil look before walking away.

  My eyes pop out of my head as I stare across the table. “Were you going to share that little tidbit, or were you going to keep it to yourself so you could cheat your poor, unknowing future wife?”

  “I wasn’t hiding anything from you,” he answers instantly but it’s the insistence in his tone that hints his worry.

  “Hey, I was only messing with you.”

  His slumped shoulders show me he knows he overreacted and he smiles. “Alright, so maybe I manipulated you a little bit.”

  “You’re so busted. Guess you can’t play dumb anymore like when you say you can’t cook when you can obviously memorize the recipe or starting a fire in the fireplace or driving directions . . . or . . .”

  His laughter interrupts me before he says, “Oh, no . . . you heard my sister, I have no common sense.”

  When Brady comes over to see what the fuss is about, I leave Aidan and go outside where Liv and Tori are sitting at a picnic table with the kids. They’re making puppets out of paper bags with an assortment of craft materials, like yarn and googly eyes.