Her Unexpected Destiny_Seeing Ranch series

by Florence Linnington

  The knock on Matt’s door came right about the time he expected it to. Dropping the cook-stove wood he’d just brought in through the back, he wiped his hands on his pants and went to open the door.

  “Morning,” Matt said to Pa.

  Pa’s gaze raked over him. “You’re not dressed.”

  Matt looked at his patched slacks, dirty shirt, and suspenders. He felt slightly ashamed to be in such a state on a Sunday, but maybe Pa would understand why he couldn’t go to church that day.

  “I’m gonna pray here at home today, Pa.”

  Silence followed the statement, and Pa’s eye twitched. Matt knew he’d poked a sleeping bull, but he almost didn’t care. He didn’t want to hurt his parents, but there didn’t seem to be a way not to. He needed his space, and if other people couldn’t understand that, well, he was real sorry—but not about to change anything.

  Pa’s words were slow but the tone heavy. “You need to get changed right now. We’re getting in the wagon in five minutes. Be there.”

  With that, he turned and stepped off the porch. As if on second thought, Pa turned back around. “By the way, Allie came clean to your ma and me. She’s doing the best she can, Matt. Everyone is.”

  He didn’t stay for any more talk. Leaving Matt’s jaw hanging open, Pa crossed the yard.

  Matt stood in the open doorway, his face flaming. When had Allie told his parents her real name? Had she shared all the details of her story? Were they really not angry?

  His mind spun. He could have wondered about the issue for days, thinking all sorts of things that made him feel awful, like that his parents only wanted him to get married, so they were willing to put up with almost anything. That was a dangerous road, though, and he needed to get dressed.

  He wasn’t some petulant schoolboy who needed to be told what to do, but he couldn’t and wouldn’t disobey his parents. Not when push came to shove.

  With heavy limbs, he did as he was told and changed into his Sunday best. The fabric was too warm and the collar of the shirt itchy, but the real discomfort lay in knowing what was about to come. He’d be spending the whole morning with Allie. After that, his parents would likely make him come into the house for Sunday dinner as well.

  If he was lucky, he’d escape another talking to from his pa, but the odds didn’t really feel in Matt’s favor when it came to that.

  They were climbing into the wagon when Matt came out of his house. He kept his eyes downcast.

  “Morning, Ma,” he said with a nod.

  His gaze slid over to Allie, who sat on the wagon’s second board. “Morning,” he said stiffly.

  “Good morning.” Her voice was as strained as his, and Matt couldn’t figure out how that made him feel.

  Hauling himself into the wagon, he took a seat on the board next to her. Ma and Pa settled themselves in as well, and Dora and Trigger took off, needing hardly any guidance.

  As they passed the stable, it caught Matt’s attention. He’d fed the animals an hour before, and everything had been the same with Oatmeal. He longed to be in there with her and the rest of the animals, tucked away in a world where simplicity reigned.

  Talk was small on the way into town, with Ma and Pa providing most of it. Allie chimed in a couple times, and Matt said nothing at all.

  At church, he jumped from the wagon bed and went around to help her down. It didn’t matter what was going on between the two of them. It would be rude and wrong to not offer a gal his hand.

  “Thank you,” Allie said quietly as she lifted her skirts and stepped to the edge of the wagon.

  Her gaze caught his as their fingers connected. A rush of tingling warmth went up Matt’s arm. Allie landed on the ground with a bounce, and he dropped her hand and looked away.

  Apparently, some parts of him hadn’t yet heard about the discord.

  The church was less crowded than it usually was, probably due to the heat. All the windows were thrown open, and nearly every woman had brought a fan. Men cooled themselves with their hats, and children wiggled in the pews, working to loosen their clothing.

  Matt waited for the other three to settle and then took a seat at the end, right next to the aisle. Reverend Pullman took the pulpit and began a sermon about doing good unto neighbors. Matt tried to listen, but he was too aware of Allie sitting right next to him. She’d scooted closer to Ma, giving him some space, but he could still feel her presence like it was a touch against his skin.

  After a few failed attempts at focusing, Matt gave up and closed his eyes. Since his mind and heart weren’t in the same place as the reverend’s, perhaps he needed to do his own kind of tending.

  Typically, he didn’t pray much on his own. The only time he ever thought of doing it was when he was in church and being prompted to. Most of the time, even when calamitous things were happening, like when those calves got lost in the thunderstorm the year before or when Ma came down with that bad fever, Matt focused on doing what he needed to do. Action drove him, with prayer and contemplation coming second.

  Maybe that’s why he’d been having such a hard time with Allie’s confession. There was nothing he could physically do to remedy the situation. He’d been adrift, left confused over all the feelings and thoughts swirling around inside him.

  Lord, I know you see everything, he prayed. And so you understand what’s going on down here. Better than I ever will, I figure. Please help me out. I thought I loved Allie, but is love supposed to hurt this bad? Show me what to do. Please.

  He opened his eyes and let his gaze drift to an open window. Already, his soul felt lighter. He wasn’t sure if the prayer would come to anything, but letting his worries out had helped a great deal.

  The service finished up, and though everyone acted cordial on their way out, there was an air of desperation to the crowd. Every person wanted to be out of the stuffy confines of the church soon as possible.

  Matt shuffled along, not paying much attention to anyone else. Without warning, he ended up trapped on the church’s steps, thanks to the people who had stopped in front of him to speak with the reverend.

  Right next to him stood Allie.

  Matt cast a glance behind him, looking for his parents. Finally, he spotted them in the yard, talking to Mr. and Mrs. Garrison. Somehow, they’d made it out in front of him.

  With nowhere else to look, Matt’s eyes fell back on Allie.

  “Hello,” she said sheepishly.

  Matt cleared his throat. “Hi there.”

  The group in front of them was still chatting with Reverend Pullman. Just how much detail did they need to go into about the upcoming church supper?

  “I am glad you came today,” Allie said. She had her hands folded in front of her, and her face was flat, though her eyes flashed with something he couldn’t get a read on.

  “Me too,” Matt answered automatically.

  The line started moving again, and they both said their hellos to the reverend before descending onto the church lawn. Matt thought back to his prayer. He wanted to say something to Allie—anything—but he still didn’t know what to say. All the words he’d ever learned didn’t seem good enough. Nothing in his life had prepared him for simultaneously needing a person and wanting to run away from them.

  Allie tightly linked her fingers. “Matt...”

  “Uh-huh?” he asked eagerly, glad she was taking charge of the conversation.

  Allie’s gaze was imploring. “I have missed you this week. I wanted to tell you that, that… I feel a lot of guilt over our… situation.”

  Matt’s breath caught somewhere in his chest. He didn’t want Allie to feel guilty. He didn’t want her to hurt at all. He only wanted to go back to a time when things felt simpler between them.

  “Are you happy here?” he found himself asking.

  Allie looked surprised. “Y—yes. I love this town.”

  He nodded.

  She noticeably swallowed. “Do you wish for me to leave?”

  Matt shifted his weight side to side. �
��We already talked about this. I don’t want to chase you away.”

  “That’s what you said, but is it the truth?”

  That froze his tongue. It turned out he had more thinking to do than he’d originally planned.

  “I want you to be happy,” he finally managed.

  “I see.” Her lips twisted, and she looked down.

  And I want you to be happy with me.

  He couldn’t say those words, because he could no longer promise her a happy ending. He had to figure himself out before he gave another person any more time and attention.

  “I’ve been thinking,” he said. “And… praying.”

  Chin still tucked down, Allie quietly looked at him.

  “I wanted you to know that,” he mumbled, all awkward like.

  “Thank you. That is nice to know.”

  Matt nodded… and kept nodding. For the time being, it seemed there was nothing left to say.

  Over Allie’s shoulder, he caught sight of Kitty Ross and her sister heading their way.

  “Someone’s coming to talk to you.” He nodded his head at the women. “I’ll leave you to it.”

  Quick as a whip, he strode for the wagons.

  There I go again, walking away.

  It shouldn’t have surprised him. He was awfully good at it.

  22

  22. Allie

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Allie could have cried as she watched Matt walk away from her. Only the presence of dozens of people stopped the tears from escaping.

  “There you are,” a woman’s voice said.

  Kitty and Helen appeared on either side of her, both smiling warmly.

  “Hello,” Allie responded, doing her best to not look as if she were dying inside.

  “You were stuck in that church for a good while,” Helen commented. She waved her fan frantically, attempting to cool her neck.

  “Yes. How are you both faring?”

  Kitty began to speak, but her sister beat her to the punch.

  “Well enough,” Helen answered. “Although Kitty’s husband left this morning on a trip and might be gone most of the week, so I imagine Kitty will be moping around.”

  Kitty blushed. “Helen,” she chastised, “I will not be doing any such thing.”

  Helen shrugged and grinned wide. “They are in love,” she explained to Allie. “There is no shame in that. We can talk about it, can we not? It’s only us women here.”

  The mention of love made Allie feel sick.

  “Yes,” she said. “That’s right.”

  Right then, it was easier to agree with anything anyone said.

  “Where is Sheriff Ross off to?” Allie asked, directing the question at Kitty.

  “Cheyenne,” she explained. “And, yes, it’s uncertain when he will return.”

  “And the whole town will be without a law man until then?”

  “Deputy Guthrie is here,” Kitty said warmly. “He is more than capable of handling any situation that should arise.”

  “Ah, yes.” Allie nodded. She’d forgotten Shallow Springs had a deputy. With her limited trips into town, she had still met very few people. It was probably best if things stayed that way.

  “We wanted to invite you and the Dentons over for Sunday dinner,” Kitty said. “I know it is rather late, and I apologize for that. We have a whole chicken that must be eaten, though, and we would love your company.”

  Allie glanced over her shoulder, clocking Matt right away. He was at the wagon, back turned to her. She couldn’t find Nicolette or Harold.

  “What’s this about Sunday dinner?” Nicolette’s voice asked.

  She’d come up on the small group without Allie noticing and now beamed at the three of them in turn.

  “Perfect timing!” Helen exclaimed. “Kitty was saying we would love to have your family to our home for Sunday dinner.”

  Nicolette made a little cooing noise. “Now, that does sound nice. Thank you very much, Mrs. Ross, but I’m afraid Harold and I need to get back to the farm.”

  “Another time, then,” Kitty said.

  “You should go, though,” Nicolette told Allie.

  Allie blinked dazedly. Her thoughts had begun to drift toward Matt again, and it took her a moment to pull back from that dangerous zone.

  “You need my help with dinner,” Allie protested.

  Nicolette waved the argument away. “I am used to dealing with it on my own. Go and have a nice visit with these two wonderful ladies. I will send Harold or Matt to fetch you later.”

  Allie knew it would probably be Harold. Matt clearly still did not want to be around her. That painful fact made dinner at the Rosses’ even more alluring.

  “If you are sure...”

  “Positive,” Nicolette said. “Have a good afternoon, ladies.”

  “Goodbye,” Kitty and Helen said at nearly the same time, sounding like echoes of each other.

  Allie watched Nicolette go to the wagon, where Harold had now appeared. She said something to the two men there, and Matt turned in Allie’s direction.

  Soon as he saw her looking, though, he turned away.

  Allie purposefully directed her eyes as well, searching for something that did not bring her pain.

  Helen taking her hand and guiding her to the road helped some. “Kitty and I were so hoping you’d be here today. Lots of people don’t come to church every Sunday, but you seem to.”

  The two sisters talked on as they walked, updating Allie on their new chickens and Helen’s wedding, which had been set for August.

  “Here we are,” Helen sang out as they arrived at the Rosses’ home. Immediately, a sense of peace came over Allie. She had enjoyed her previous visit to the house very much and hoped that walking across its threshold always made her feel good.

  Inside, Kitty and Helen got to work putting on their aprons and cooking up dinner. They turned down Allie’s first two offers of help, but when she brought it up a third time, they finally relented and allowed her to pare the green beans.

  “Kitty and I have been talking about your wedding dress,” Helen said as she took the bowl of green beans from Allie and handed them to Kitty.

  “Yes, it’s taken up many a conversation,” Kitty agreed, dumping the green beans into the skillet, where they began sizzling right away.

  Allie’s stomach dropped. “Oh.”

  Helen frowned. “What is wrong? Do you not wish for us to make your dress anymore? If time is an issue, do not worry. My wedding is already set up. It will be very simple—”

  “No, it is not that,” Allie interrupted.

  “Then what is it?” Helen asked, her face still crestfallen.

  Kitty had abandoned the cook stove and come closer to the table where Allie and Helen sat, her head cocked in interest.

  “It is…” Allie struggled to find an explanation where there was none.

  “It is nothing,” she said. “Don’t worry. I simply am not sure when my wedding will be, and I do not wish for you to exhaust yourselves making a dress that may not be worn for months.”

  Helen and Kitty looked at each other, and it was then that Allie knew the lie had not been successful.

  Sighing, Allie looked down at her hands. “I do not know if Matt and I will be marrying after all.”

  “Oh,” Helen said in a small voice.

  The chair on Allie’s other side scraped as Kitty pulled it out and took a seat. “I am very sorry to hear that,” Kitty said. “Would you like to share more?”

  Allie bit into her bottom lip. She certainly wanted to share more, but that was not the wisest idea.

  Kitty touched Allie’s arm. “I understand if you do not wish to.”

  Helen’s chin trembled. “This is very sad. Is Matt not kind to you?”

  “Helen,” Kitty answered, “Melissa does not wish to share all. You know some things between suitors must remain a secret.”

  “He is kind enough,” Allie said, thinking perhaps Helen wondered if the relationship was one of an abu
sive nature. “It’s only that we are very different people.”

  “Oh.” Helen jutted out her bottom lip, not appearing satisfied.

  “It is all right, Melissa,” Kitty said. “You do not have to tell anymore. Please do know we are here to listen, should you ever need it.”

  Unexpectedly, the kindness crippled Allie from the inside out. Tears filled her eyes, and she could not stop her shoulders from hunching forward.