Her Unexpected Destiny_Seeing Ranch series

by Florence Linnington

  Allie worryingly bit the inside of her lip. “Sheriff Ross is gone all week.”

  “I’ll check in on them later.”

  Allie nodded. “Thank you.”

  As soon as he left, Allie crept to the bedrooms to see both women. Helen slept, but Kitty lay on her side, reading a book.

  “You must rest,” Allie told her from the doorway.

  “Is that all you are capable of saying?” Kitty teased, before a coughing fit overcame her.

  Allie rushed forward to tuck the blankets closer around Kitty’s side. “The doctor will be back later, and so will I. Soon as I can.”

  “We will be fine, Allie.”

  Allie gave her a firm gaze, and Kitty feel silent as an unspoken understanding passed between them. Perhaps the worries were unnecessary, but Allie knew Kitty understood why she had them. Being the sweet soul she was, Kitty did not bring that topic up.

  “I must go home and tend to the day’s work,” Allie explained. “But I will be back as soon as possible. Now sleep.”

  Kitty at least put the book down, which brought Allie some comfort.

  “I mean it,” Allie told her, for good measure, as she left the room. “Rest. I will know if you did not.”

  “Yes, Mother,” Kitty saucily answered.

  With each step back to the farm, the heat seemed to increase. Uncomfortable as it was, Allie was almost used to it. Besides, at least she got an ample amount of sunshine. In New York, thanks to working all day long inside, that had never been the case.

  “Oh, that’s too bad,” Nicolette said after Allie had found her outside washing the laundry and shared the news about Kitty and Helen.

  Allie rolled up her sleeves and dropped to her knees next to the second washbasin. “And Sheriff Ross is gone all week, so they are alone. I will go and check in on them later today.” She snuck a sidelong glance at Nicolette. “After I have finished all my chores, of course.”

  “You should go stay with them.”

  Allie stared at Nicolette. “But don’t you need me here?”

  “I can always use your help,” Nicolette said, rubbing one of the men’s shirts against the washboard before dunking it back into the soapy water. “But it sounds as if the Rosses’ household is currently in more need, and we must care for our neighbors.”

  Nicolette smiled brightly. Allie didn’t like thinking about how Nicolette could do without her. It made her feel disposable—which, admittedly, was likely the case. But she did long to be with Kitty and Helen. Thinking of them all alone in that house did not sit well with her.

  And being away from the farm meant not having to see Matt for a while…

  She’d done her best while speaking with him after church the day before, but it truly seemed he was set on being angry with her. She’d prayed over the situation. She’d filled her heart with hope. She’d apologized. She’d done her best to check any anger against him that arose.

  What more could she do?

  She felt as if she were walking through an uncertain world, one that could be ripped away from her at any moment. Matt had claimed he would not turn her into the authorities, but what about their marriage? She knew that union was not a guarantee.

  Allie had entered Matt’s life looking for an escape, and now she wanted something else entirely. She wanted his love, his forgiveness.

  But would she ever attain those things? Or had the time come for her to give up waiting?

  Allie ducked her face so Nicolette would not be able to see the unhappiness there. “If you are certain my absence will not be harmful, then I would very much like to go. I worry about them.”

  “Mm-hmm,” Nicolette murmured in agreement. “Go and stay as long as you need to—however long it takes for them to return to full health.”

  “Thank you.” Allie peeked shyly at Nicolette.

  The other woman’s hands stilled in the basin. “You know, Allie, I have become very fond of you.”

  A lump formed in Allie’s throat. “Thank you,” she repeated, feeling silly for saying the same thing twice. She did not know what else to say, though. She’d been close to very few people, and the openness that the citizens of Shallow Springs generally possessed still surprised her.

  Allie tried again. “I care for you very much, Nicolette. You and Harold have been… wonderful.” Allie shook her head. Even that grand word failed to convey how much the kind couple had done for her.

  “Whatever happens between you and Matthew...” Nicolette paused, her gaze trailing across the yard. “You can be sure I’ll always be here for you. I love you like the daughter I never had.”

  Nicolette sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with the corner of her apron.

  “Oh, Nicolette,” Allie sighed, her chest feeling as if it were about to burst thanks to all the happiness and sadness competing for room there.

  “It’s true.” She smiled ruefully.

  “I never knew my own mother,” Allie admitted. “She died when I was very small.”

  Nicolette grasped Allie’s hand. “Then let me be that to you.”

  Allie could feel the tears filling her eyes. She wanted very much to fall against Nicolette and tell her that, yes, she wanted a mother so badly… but she held back.

  The future was so uncertain. If Matt and Allie did not marry, then coming to the Dentons’ farm, seeing all that she had missed out on…

  It was something Allie wasn’t sure she would be capable of.

  “Thank you,” she settled on saying. “I should be packing some things and getting back to the Rosses’.”

  Squeezing Nicolette’s hand, Allie stood and hurried into the house. Having a task to focus on was good. It kept her mind off of her heavy heart.

  Once packed, she set off at a brisk pace for town. She had not caught sight of Harold or Matt in the fields, but that was fine. She needed a respite from thoughts of the man who already plagued her dreams.

  Halfway into town, that changed. A figure rode toward Allie, and though she told herself at first that it might not be Matt, as the man drew closer she knew it to be him.

  Once a few feet away, he stopped Trigger. The uncomfortable silence that always showed up when it was just the two of them emerged, and Allie bit into her lip, wishing that he would move on.

  She could feel his gaze on her hands, and she looked down at the bag she carried.

  “Where are you going?” Matt asked, a strange lift in the question.

  For the briefest instant, Allie thought about how satisfying it would be to tell him she was leaving Shallow Springs. Perhaps it would make him sorry for holding a grudge against her. Maybe it would even make him jump off of Trigger and pull her into his arms, make him tell her he was sorry, make him tell her that all he wanted was her…

  But that was a fantasy, and it was wrong to be that manipulative.

  “I am going to stay at the Rosses’ for a while,” Allie answered truthfully. “Kitty and Helen are ill, and Nicolette encouraged me to stay with them until they are better.”

  “Oh.”

  Allie nodded. “And where were you?”

  “Getting the mail.”

  His words were still stiff. Clearly, as always, he did not wish to speak with her. Their running into each other, while it always had the potential for healing, turned into another awkward exchange.

  “I see,” she said quietly. “Well, I should be getting on.”

  “Same here. Have a good evening.” Matt didn’t look at her as he rode off.

  Allie’s heart sank. Despite the efforts she had made to bridge the divide between the two of them, nothing had changed. Were strained “hello”s and “goodbye”s what their relationship had been reduced to? What came next? His telling her goodbye forever?

  Or would he not even have the decency to do that? Would their ending involve his kicking her out by having someone else send her away?

  Perhaps I should be walking for the stagecoach, Allie thought bitterly. As clearly there is to be no wedding.

  Squa
ring her shoulders, she continued onward. For the rest of the walk, the conversation with Matt echoed in her head.

  He did not want her. That was a fact she needed to face. The sooner she did that, the sooner she could move forward with her life.

  Realizing that, the knot in Allie’s belly loosened slightly. She had never expected to marry. Though men occasionally looked her way, not one had pursued her. Men in New York didn’t want women like Allie—women who had hands calloused from work, who were thin and gangly from cutting back on meals, who had no dowries.

  Losing Matt after only just coming to love him was a hard thing to accept, but she would move on.

  Shallow Springs, though not large, contained its own share of opportunities. There were ranches to work at. Men to court and, perhaps, marry. There was Kitty and Helen. There was Nicolette. Allie hadn’t chosen this, but she had become achingly attached to the kind woman.

  Yes, she would be fine without Matt.

  At least that was what Allie told herself over and over. Each step she took beat her new mantra into the ground. By the time she reached Kitty and Helen’s front door, she almost believed everything she was telling herself.

  Almost.

  25

  25. Matt

  Chapter Twenty-five

  “I was beginning to wonder when I’d see your face again,” Pa said from across the supper table.

  Matt stopped himself from glowering at his father just in time. He knew what Pa was referring to, and he didn’t have the words to explain himself. He was ashamed enough over his now-habitual absence already. He didn’t need any salt in the wound.

  Not surprisingly, his silence didn’t make his father quit.

  “You get tired of eating stale biscuits and jerky?” Pa asked.

  Matt took in a long breath. He’d known his showing up to supper might mean facing talking about Allie. It was time to bite the bullet and bring her up before Pa did.

  “I don’t have anything to say to her right now,” he said simply.

  Pa was quick on the draw. “And when will you?”

  Matt avoided his eyes, feeling like less of a man under such unwavering judgment. “I don’t know,” he admitted.

  “Let’s talk about something else,” Ma said briskly, as she served the green beans.

  But now that Allie had been brought up, Matt found he couldn’t shy away from the topic. “Aren’t you mad that she lied for so long?” he asked both his parents.

  He looked between the two of them, waiting for see who would answer first.

  Ma smacked her lips. “A couple weeks, Matt? That’s not very long.”

  “And she lied to save her hide,” Pa added. “What I don’t understand is where I went wrong, how I made the mistake of bringing up a man who’s not understanding of other people’s troubles.”

  Matt’s face burned like fire. “It’s not like that, Pa. I know why Allie lied. She could have told me sooner. That’s the issue here.”

  “The issue is all in your head,” Pa answered smoothly. He leaned confidently back into his chair and stared, solemn faced, at Matt.

  Matt felt his shoulders slump forward. “A man should know he can trust the woman he’s marrying.”

  He didn’t have to be watching his parents to know they’d exchanged a silent look.

  After twenty-eight years with them, the quiet moments could be just as readable as the loud ones.

  When Pa spoke again, his voice was more controlled. “Allie trusted you, son. She told you the truth about herself, knowing full well you could have turned her in if you wanted to. For her to put that much faith in someone she’d not known for even a month...” Pa shook his head. “She must think an awful lot of you. Or at least she did.”

  The heat in Matt’s face trailed into his whole body. He knew Pa was right. Everyone was right. Allie. Ma. Nat.

  But still, every time Matt put his attention on this situation, he felt like he was getting eaten up from the inside. His limbs seemed to lock up, and his heart pounded while his stomach flopped and twisted in sickening ways.

  Now what was that all about? And, despite that his head knew it was time to forgive and forget, how could he make his heart realize the same?

  Ma cleared her throat. “Anyway, Allie might be at the sheriff’s for longer than just tonight. Most likely until he returns. Some space might do you both some good.”

  Matt’s head snapped up. “Is that what she said?”

  Ma gave him a cool look. “Now, Matthew, she hasn’t said much about you at all. But I tell you what. Your father is right. She put her whole self at risk telling us her story. For a person to be turned on after that...” Ma shook her head as she trailed off. “That hurts terribly.”

  Matt looked at his supper plate, his tongue tied and his appetite gone. He wanted nothing more than to excuse himself and flee the house, but he’d been doing enough of that lately. The least he could do was keep his rear end where it was for an hour or less.

  “Well”—Pa sighed—“we’ll see what comes to be. You can’t push her away forever.”

  “I’m not planning on that,” Matt answered earnestly. “I’ll talk with her. Soon.”

  Pa’s lips twisted like he wanted to say more. After a bit of thinking on it, though, he nodded and went back to his supper.

  Matt didn’t know when this “soon” time would come, but he’d mostly told the truth. He didn’t plan on avoiding Allie forever.

  He wanted to talk to her. Some hours it felt like he needed to. His whole body and heart burned for her. He craved her at the same time he anguished over her.

  That couldn’t be what love was really like. Far as Matt could see, his parents’ relationship had never been this dramatic. Though maybe things had been like that once upon a time, and then all the emotions and hysterics had settled down once they had him and became a little older.

  He wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to get himself in any more hot water. He’d had enough of that for one meal time.

  “There was a fire down by the river today,” Pa said, changing the subject. “Those McNeely boys were puffing on a cigar they snatched from their pa. They tossed it into the brush without realizing it was still smoking.”

  “Goodness gracious,” Ma breathed. “Those two aren’t more than ten.”

  “They were doing what any other boys might.” Pa shrugged. “It’s a good thing a few hands from Winding Path were riding by. They were able to get the flames out in time. They weren’t much, apparently.”

  “They could have been more.” Ma pressed her hand to her heart.

  Matt kept to himself, listening as his parents discussed the potential for rain in the next week and whether or not that Granger fellow would ever get around to opening up the saloon he wanted to. Coming up to supper had been a mistake. He knew that now and couldn’t wait till he could leave the house and go check on Oatmeal.

  But Ma had other plans.

  “Hold on, Matthew,” she said when he stood from the table.

  Pa had already left, gone out to check the animals with the dogs at his heels.

  Matt stayed where he was, standing with his chair pushed out.

  “Have a seat.” Ma propped her elbows on the table, interlaced her fingers, and nodded at his chair.

  Slowly, wariness filling him, he lowered himself back onto his seat.

  Ma sighed. “I know you don’t want a lecture...”

  Matt raked his fingers through his hair. He’d been defeated already. Why was his mother insisting on making things worse?

  “But...” She hesitated, her gaze roving around the table. “Is there anything you would like to tell me?”

  “Uh… no, I don’t… I don’t think so.”

  Ma nodded, but she looked unconvinced.

  “I told you and Pa everything,” Matt said.

  Ma continued to gaze steadily at him. There was a knowing look in her eyes, like she got something he didn’t.

  “Oh, Matt,” she whispered. “I’ve neve
r seen you this way.”

  Her eyes turned wet, tears on their way. A wave of hopelessness and self-hatred crashed into Matt. He hadn’t meant to upset his mother.

  What kind of sorry, no-good fool did a person have to be to make the woman who’d bore them cry?

  “Don’t, Ma,” he pleaded, placing his hand on her shoulder.