‘Just because I bought the place with Gran’s money doesn’t mean it isn’t half yours,’ Jess said quietly. ‘We’re married, for Christ’s sake, so what’s mine is yours and hopefully vice versa.’
Simon’s lips curled back from his teeth and for the first time since she had known him, Jess felt like slapping him. He was behaving very childishly and she was almost at the end of her tether.
‘Anyway . . .’ Jess struggled to remain calm. ‘How about we try and talk sensibly about more important issues? Like the baby, for instance. Have you had time to think about how you feel about it?’
She placed his meal in front of him and he grunted his thanks as he lifted his knife and fork and dug into the lamb chops on his plate. ‘I haven’t thought about much else,’ he mumbled through a mouthful.
‘And?’ She looked at him, hoping that now he’d had time to come to terms with it, he might be feeling a little differently.
‘And what? I haven’t changed my mind about it. I reckon the last thing we need right now is another baby hanging around our necks.’
Jess took a deep breath. ‘Then I’m sorry to hear that because I’ve decided that I want to keep it.’
His face darkened into a scowl. ‘There’s really no point in me saying any more on the subject then, is there?’
‘Not really.’ Jess stuck her chin in the air in a rare act of defiance. ‘But you might like to tell me where you were all night. I was worried sick.’
‘I dossed down on Mick’s settee after we’d had a game of darts at the pub, if you must know,’ he said sullenly, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on his plate.
Jess didn’t believe him for an instant but she knew better than to question him. Simon could be as stubborn as a mule when he wanted to be. Slumping down on the chair opposite him, she suggested softly, ‘Couldn’t we start again? We seem to be going off track again lately.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Well . . .’ she spread her hands helplessly. ‘You’re going out more and more again and—’
‘Oh, we’re back to that, are we? Can’t a man even go and enjoy a quiet drink when he’s been working all day?’
‘Of course, but . . . well, it would be nice if you didn’t go out every night.’
Slamming his knife and fork down, Simon stood up and towered over her threateningly. ‘It always comes back to the same old thing, doesn’t it? And just in case you’ve forgotten, I give Beth a lift to the youth club tonight. Do you want me to go and tell her I’m not allowed to take her?’
‘Of course not,’ Jess said hastily. ‘I have no objections at all to you going out a couple of nights a week; I’m just saying I’d be happier if it wasn’t every night.’
For a horrible moment she thought he was going to hit her as his face distorted with temper but then he slammed away upstairs without another word as she sat glumly looking at his half-eaten meal.
I made a good job of that again, she thought wryly, and lifting the remaining lamb chop she tossed it to Alfie before scraping the rest into the bin.
Simon left half an hour later without so much as another word to her, and Jess sat there, tears trickling down her cheeks. Everything was such a mess and this time she wasn’t at all sure that she could put things right between them.
She was loading the dishwasher and feeling very sorry for herself when Laura appeared looking just as stressed and worried as she felt.
‘Come and join the sad club,’ Jess invited. ‘You look as miserable as I feel. What’s wrong?’
‘It’s Beth,’ Laura said miserably. ‘We’ve just had an awful row. She’s been really off-colour for days now, so when Simon called to give her a lift to the youth club I told him I’d rather she didn’t go tonight. Well, to say she kicked off big time would be putting it mildly! She was screaming and crying at me as if I was the Wicked Witch from the West. I can’t understand it at all. Beth is usually as meek as a lamb, but lately she’s changed. I’m sure it’s something to do with that boy she’s been going off with from the youth club.’
‘Beth? Kicking off? I know you said she was playing up while I was away but I thought she would have settled back down by now,’ Jess commented.
Laura shook her head as she took a pack of cigarettes from her bag and offered one to Jess before lighting one herself.
‘So what happened next? Have you let her go?’
‘No, I haven’t.’ Laura blew a plume of smoke into the air. ‘Luckily her dad arrived home while all this was going on and he sent her up to her room. But she isn’t happy about it at all.’
Because Beth was special needs, Jess had always assumed that she would be willing to do as she was told, but it seemed that even Beth could have her moments.
‘What a pair we are, eh?’ she grinned sadly.
‘Too true,’ Laura agreed. ‘Anyway, I’m going to take her to the doctor’s tomorrow. She might be behaving like this because she isn’t feeling well. It’s so unlike her to lose her temper like that. I don’t know if it was because she didn’t get to have a ride in the car with Simon or because she didn’t get to see this boy.’
‘It’s probably a combination of both,’ Jess said wisely. ‘She worships Simon and I have to admit he’s got the patience of Job with her. I just wish he’d show the same consideration to Mel.’
‘Mm.’ Laura stubbed her unfinished cigarette out in the ashtray before asking, ‘And how did Simon take the news about the baby? Have you told him yet?’
‘Oh, I told him all right,’ Jess nodded. ‘Last night, as a matter of fact, and we ended up having a flaming row. He walked out and didn’t come back all night. He reckons he stayed at his mate’s house but between you and me, Simon tends to have a roving eye and I just wonder if he doesn’t have some girlfriend on the side. It wouldn’t be the first time, believe me.’
Laura looked shocked. She had never heard Jess talk about her husband like this before.
‘When we moved here, things were pretty bad between us,’ Jess confided, ‘and I hoped this would be a new start for us. But it certainly doesn’t seem to be working out that way. And now, what with finding out about the baby, everything seems a hundred times worse. To say that Simon isn’t happy about the idea would be putting it mildly.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Laura was genuinely upset for her. She’d grown fond of Jess and didn’t like to think of her being miserable. ‘So what are you going to do about it?’
‘I’m going to keep this baby,’ Jess told her with determination. ‘I did briefly think of having an abortion but I don’t think I could go through with it, so that’s that.’
‘I don’t blame you. Have you told the girls yet?’
‘No.’ Jess sighed wearily. ‘I thought I’d hang on until I’ve been to the doctor’s and had it definitely confirmed.’
The sound of a mobile phone going off suddenly echoed around the kitchen and after hastily fishing in her bag Jess saw that it was the one she had confiscated from Mel. She answered it, thinking that it would be one of Mel’s friends.
‘Hello?’
‘Hello, Mel. How are you? Did you arrive home safely and have a good journey?’
As the sound of Emile Lefavre’s voice reached her, Jess felt ice-cold rage pump through her veins.
‘It isn’t Mel, it’s her mother,’ she said tonelessly.
‘Ah, Jess. Jo gave me her and Mel’s numbers, but I didn’t realise that I had not asked for yours until I had boarded my plane – and as I had not heard from you, I thought I would see if you were interested in going ahead with some home tuition for Mel. I was just about to ask her for your number.’
‘I just bet you were,’ Jess murmured.
‘Jess . . . is everything all right? Have I upset you in some way?’ Emile enquired.
‘How dare you even have the nerve to ask?’ Jess spat, her voice rising dangerously. ‘I wouldn’t let you near my daughter again if my very life depended upon it. And furthermore, if you ever try to get in touch with Mel again
, I shall call the police and tell them what you tried to make her do.’
‘I . . . I don’t understand,’ Emile said in that throaty voice that she had once found so attractive.
‘Oh, but I think you do.’ Jess was so furious now that she could barely speak. She ended the call, shaking, then flung the phone onto the table as Laura looked on, wide-eyed and uncomprehending.
‘Can you believe the nerve of that bastard?’ Jess stormed as she watched the phone as if it was going to bite her.
‘Well, I doubt he’ll dare ring again,’ Laura soothed, wondering what all the fuss was about but not wanting to ask. ‘But now you must calm down, love. Think of the baby.’ Jess then promptly burst into a torrent of tears as Laura wrapped her arms around her and let her cry it all out.
Two weeks later, Jess sat the girls down at the kitchen table and looked at them nervously. She had been to the doctor’s the week before and now knew that the baby was due early in May. She had been trying to find the right time to tell them ever since her appointment, and as Simon wasn’t home from work yet, now seemed as good a time as any.
‘So what is it that you want to tell us then, Mum?’ Jo asked brightly as she tickled Alfie under the chin. ‘Is it something to do with Christmas?’ It was now mid-November and they were racing towards Christmas at an alarming rate. Jess hadn’t even started the Christmas shopping yet whereas in previous years she had had all the presents bought and wrapped by now.
‘No, love, it isn’t.’ Jess wished that Simon was there to tell them with her, but there was fat chance of that happening. He had only spoken to her when he had to over the last couple of weeks, and the atmosphere between them was strained, to say the very least. ‘The thing is,’ she went on, peering uncomfortably from one to the other of them, ‘I’ve just found out that I’m going to have a baby . . . You’re going to have a new brother or sister.’
There was a stunned silence for a moment before Jo whooped with delight and ran around the table to hug her.
‘Why, that’s so cool. When is it due?’
Ignoring the look of horror on Mel’s face, Jess forced herself to smile. ‘About the beginning of May next year,’ she managed to choke out.
‘Well, I think it’s absolutely gross!’ Mel shot at her mother, wrapping her arms across her chest even more tightly. ‘Everyone at school is going to laugh at me when they find out. You’re far too old to have another baby!’
‘I know it must have come as a bit of a shock. To be honest, it was to me and your dad too,’ Jess replied, keeping her voice calm. ‘But when you get used to the idea you might actually find that it won’t be so bad, after all. This house is huge and there’s more than enough room. And yes, I know that I must seem old to you, but early thirties isn’t that old really.’
Mel bounced up out of her chair. As usual, she was dressed in her most shapeless clothes and her lovely hair was pulled back into a tight unbecoming ponytail on the back of her head.
‘Well, don’t expect me to be pleased about it,’ she said loudly, and before Jess could say another word she stormed out and stamped away up the stairs.
Jo smiled at her mum sadly. ‘Don’t mind Mel,’ she whispered. ‘Nothing makes her smile any more. She’s a right old misery guts.’
Jess smiled despite the ache inside her. She had never expected Simon to be happy about the baby, but she had hoped the girls might. It seemed that no one, even herself, really wanted this baby except Jo, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat again now.
‘We shall have to start thinking of names,’ she said, as she stared off into space with a dreamy expression on her face. ‘How about Angelique if it’s a little girl? That’s a really romantic name, isn’t it?’
‘Er . . . don’t you think it might be a bit too fussy?’ Jess replied, not wanting to dampen the girl’s enthusiasm.
‘All right, how about Henrietta then or Magdalane?’
Jess gulped, very pleased that the choice of names for the infant would not be left solely up to Jo.
‘We’ll see nearer the time,’ she said tactfully. ‘Meanwhile you can help me start to choose the colours for the new nursery. I shall get the decorators in once we have Christmas out of the way. What do you fancy?’
Jo tapped her lip. ‘How about we do it in lemon and white? Then it won’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl,’ she suggested.
‘Good choice,’ Jess agreed. ‘Now off to your room, miss, and get your homework done, there’s a good girl.’
Jo skipped away, her head full of the news, as the smile slid from Jess’s face. She couldn’t pretend that she’d had a good reaction from Mel, but then in fairness she hadn’t really expected one. And at least she had told them now, which was a weight off her mind.
She was all ready to go off and enjoy an evening with Karen when Simon came in from work. She pointed towards the oven as she picked up her car keys. He was late in again, and if she didn’t get off soon there would be hardly any point in going.
‘Your dinner’s in the oven,’ she told him. ‘And I’m off to Karen’s. See you later.’
He grunted an acknowledgement and sighing, Jess went on her way, more than ever aware of the gaping chasm that seemed to be developing between them.
Chapter Twenty-Five
As Jess sat in Karen’s small lounge later that evening she couldn’t help but notice the difference between this room and her own sumptuous drawing room back at Stonebridge House. Karen’s was tiny, with slightly worn leather settees on either side of the room and a carpet that looked as if it could do with a good shampooing. And yet Karen’s room had a cosy, lived-in feel about it, whereas Jess had to admit that hers felt formal and uninviting.
‘Penny for your thoughts,’ Karen said suddenly. Her kids had been rampaging about the place until ten minutes ago when they had gone off to bed, and now Karen was curled up on one of the settees with her legs tucked up underneath her, a large glass of wine in her hand and a contented smile on her face.
‘I was just thinking how peaceful it is,’ Jess muttered.
Karen snorted with laughter. ‘Peaceful? You must be joking. The only time we get any peace is when the nippers go to bed. Mind you, I wouldn’t want it any other way. They’ll be grown up and flown the nest before we know it, so we may as well enjoy the mayhem while we can. How are things at your end? Have you told the girls about the baby yet?’
‘As a matter of fact I told them just before I came here,’ Jess told her.
‘And?’
‘It was just as I expected really. Jo was made up with the idea and Mel said it was gross and stormed off to her room.’
Karen chuckled. ‘No surprises there then, but that’s teenagers for you. Anyone over twenty is old to them and it’s sort of strange to think of your mum and dad . . . you know. But I’ve no doubt she’ll come round once she’s got used to the idea. You might even find you have a built-in babysitter.’
‘I don’t think there’s much chance of that’, Jess said sadly. ‘She hasn’t even got time for Jo any more, let alone a wailing baby.’
‘And how about Simon? Is he getting over the shock of discovering he’s going to be a dad again yet?’
‘He’s walking about like a bear with a sore head and we’re barely speaking.’
‘Aw well, things can only get better,’ Karen said optimistically as she poured another glass of orange juice for Mel and then they went on to talk of other things, and as the night wore on Jess felt herself slowly beginning to unwind.
She was in a happier frame of mind as she drove home, even humming to herself by the time she parked the car in the courtyard. Simon was upstairs when she entered the house, so after quickly locking the doors and settling Alfie in his basket she headed for their bedroom. He wasn’t there but she could hear him in the shower so she went along the landing to check on the girls before getting ready for bed. Jo was sound asleep and Jess smiled as she looked down at her. She looked like an angel with her hair fanned out across the pillow and her
long eyelashes curled on her cheeks. Jess bent down and kissed her before switching off her lamp and moving on to Mel’s room. She heard her crying even before she got to the door, and all the happy feelings she had had disappeared like mist in the morning.
Not bothering to knock she opened the door then stopped dead in her tracks. Mel was sitting in the middle of the bed hugging her pillow as she rocked back and forth. Her hair was wild and dishevelled and Jess was shocked to see how thin her arms were as they poked out from the sleeves of her nightshirt. She was sitting cross-legged and Jess noticed a large bruise just above her knee on one leg and another, even larger one, on one of her arms.
‘Why, love, whatever’s the matter?’ she gasped. ‘And how on earth did you get those bruises?’ Hurrying over to her daughter she tried to put her arms around her, but Mel angrily pushed her away.
‘Get out!’ she shouted, waving her hand towards the door. ‘And just leave me alone, can’t you?’
‘I’m going nowhere, madam, until you tell me where those came from,’ Jess said firmly, pointing at the marks.
Mel’s lips quivered and for a moment Jess thought that she was going to talk to her, but then the shuttered look came over her face again.
‘I . . . I got them playing hockey at school,’ she muttered, lowering her eyes from her mother’s searching look.
‘But they look quite nasty. Do you want me to put something on them for you?’
Mel shook her head as Jess looked helplessly on. ‘Why were you crying?’ she probed gently, her own heart full of pain for her beloved daughter.
‘I was watching a sad film on the telly and it upset me.’
‘Really?’ Jess clearly didn’t believe her, and Mel began to get agitated again.
‘Does it really matter, Mum? Can’t you just go now and let me get some sleep? I’m so tired.’ Diving under the duvet she pulled it up over her head, and knowing that she was going to say no more, Jess stepped out onto the landing and softly closed the door.
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