Further along the landing, she paused to look out of the window. A full moon was riding in a black velvet sky, and the thick frost on the lawn looked as if it had been sprinkled with diamond dust. Out there, everything looked so peaceful – and yet inside the house, everything was in turmoil.
I’ll get Mel to the doctor’s tomorrow, Jess promised herself. This depression has gone on for long enough now. And it was then that she sensed someone standing, whispering behind her. She turned just in time to see a shadowy figure in a long skirt fade into the shadows, and suddenly the silence was deafening. Her heart leaped as she made her way to the bedroom, knowing that Martha was close by.
Simon was in bed with his back to her; it was becoming the norm now, but after quickly undressing Jess climbed in beside him and placed her arm around his broad shoulders.
‘Everything all right, love?’ she whispered into the darkness. A grunt was her only answer. After a while, when sleep refused to come, she clicked on the bedside light and took Martha’s journal from the drawer. There was no chance of waking Simon. He slept like the dead so Jess decided to read a little until she was tired.
26 December
The house is bursting at the seams with all the guests but this afternoon when the meal had been served and all the washing-up had been done, I managed to sneak away and see Jimmy for a short time . . .
‘Aw lass, I was wonderin’ if you’d manage it,’ Jimmy said delightedly as he saw Martha racing towards him across the frosty grass. Her cheeks were flushed, and with her eyes shining he thought he had never seen her look so pretty.
‘I were wonderin’ if I would an’ all,’ she answered breathlessly. ‘It’s absolute chaos back there an’ I won’t be able to stay fer long. We’re all run off our feet.’ She swiped a lock of hair back from her face as he took her hand and drew her into the shelter of the copse.
‘I got you a little somethin’ fer Christmas,’ Jimmy said, fumbling in his coat pocket.
‘An’ I got you somethin’ an’ all,’ Martha laughed as she withdrew a small, hastily wrapped parcel from beneath her cloak.
Jimmy beamed when he unwrapped a smart penknife with a mother-of-pearl handle.
‘Aw, thanks, pet,’ he murmured, turning it over in his hand and flicking the blade open. ‘I can’t begin to tell yer how handy this will be. But come on . . . open yours now.’
Blushing, Martha did as she was told and then gasped with delight when she revealed a small silver brooch in the shape of a leaf.
‘Oh, Jimmy . . .’ She was so thrilled she scarcely knew what to say. ‘I ain’t never owned a single piece of jewellery in the whole o’ me life. It’s beautiful an’ I’ll treasure it always.’
‘Not half so much as I’ll treasure you,’ Jimmy stated as he drew her into his arms. ‘We’re goin’ to be so happy together, I just know it.’
Martha sighed with contentment as she rested her head against his chest and thought of the life they would share together.
‘Do yer reckon we’ll have any little ’uns when we’re wed?’ she asked, and Jimmy threw his head back and laughed aloud, startling a rabbit that was hopping by.
‘At least half a dozen, if I have my way,’ he promised. ‘An’ I want all the little girls to look just like their mam.’
‘Just so long as the lads all look like their dad,’ Martha chuckled, and then everything else was forgotten as their lips joined and they made the most of the few precious, stolen moments.
Martha left him shortly afterwards and skipped back towards the house. Wasn’t this just turning out to be the best Christmas ever?
Jess slid the journal back into her drawer and clicked the bedside lamp off in a slightly happier frame of mind, and soon her gentle snores joined Simon’s.
Whilst Mel was pushing her breakfast around the plate the next day, Jess suggested that she might take the morning off to go to the doctor’s, but Mel got so agitated that eventually Jess gave in and reluctantly let her go off to school.
‘But you’re so thin!’ she had pointed out, only to be told that it was fashionable to be thin. It seemed there was no point in arguing with a teenager, although Jess promised herself that if Mel lost any more weight she would take her, even if she had to drag her there kicking and screaming. It was as she was putting a load of washing into the machine later that morning that she suddenly realised she hadn’t seen anything of Laura for a while. It was unusual for her neighbour not to have popped in for a quick coffee, and as Jess recalled the last time she had spoken to her, she became concerned. She had been so wrapped up in her own worries that she hadn’t given it a thought, but now she remembered that Laura had said Beth was unwell and she was going to take her to the doctor’s. Jess hoped that they hadn’t found anything seriously wrong with the girl, and after starting the machine she slipped her coat on and set off down the drive to find out. It was a bitterly cold day and a slight fog had fallen over the countryside.
When Laura opened the door to Blue Brick Cottage, Jess was shocked to see how ill she looked. There were dark circles beneath her eyes and she looked as though she had been crying. Beth was huddled in a chair at the side of the inglenook fireplace and didn’t even glance up as Jess walked in.
‘I just realised I hadn’t seen you for a while so I thought I’d pop down and check everything is OK,’ Jess told her. ‘Are you all right, Laura? You look awfully pale.’
Laura walked over to the deep stone sink and crossed her arms. ‘I’m OK, but Beth isn’t,’ she said bluntly.
‘Why – what’s wrong with her?’ Jess looked towards the girl, feeling worried.
Laura leaned heavily on the edge of the wooden draining board. Her chin sank to her chest and Jess’s heart began to race as she realised that something must be seriously wrong.
‘Tell me what it is then,’ she implored. ‘Did you take her to the doctor’s?’
Laura nodded. ‘Oh, I took her all right and he told me . . .’ She gulped deep in her throat before forcing herself to go on. ‘He told me that she’s pregnant.’
‘She’s what?’ Jess sank onto the nearest chair as shock coursed through her. ‘Are you quite sure?’
Laura nodded miserably. ‘I’m sure all right. The doctor sent a test off to the hospital to double-check and it came back positive. She’s nearly four months’ gone.’
‘So what are you going to do about it?’ Jess asked tentatively as Laura threw three tea bags into three mugs.
‘Our first instincts were to take her for an abortion,’ Laura admitted. ‘And if it was left to Den we’d still be doing that. But the doctor was worried about the impact that might have on her, with her being so far gone. He seems to think that she’s able to cope with the birth and to be honest I can’t bear the thought of getting rid of it, much as you couldn’t when you found out about your baby.’
‘But Beth could never look after a child,’ Jess pointed out. ‘She can’t even look after herself. You’ve admitted that yourself.’
‘I know she couldn’t, but I could.’
‘But what if.’ Jess paused as she chose her words carefully. ‘What if the baby has special needs too? It would be a tremendous amount of extra work for you.’
Laura nodded. ‘I realise that, but it will still be our grandchild, and I always wanted another baby. Perhaps this has happened for a reason.’
Jess had her sensible head on, now that the first shock of what Laura had told her had worn off. ‘Poor lass. Does she even understand that she’s having a baby?’
‘She doesn’t seem to understand what’s happening at all,’ Laura said, wiping her eyes. ‘She doesn’t like being sick, of course, but the doctor assured us that she’s well and healthy and that she will manage. If he’d thought otherwise I would have taken her for a termination even though it would have broken my heart.’
‘And what about the baby’s father? Does he know about it? Is it the boy from the youth club?’
Laura shook her head wearily. ‘Den and I went to see th
e youth-club leader and he had no idea at all who it might be. It seems that for weeks, once your Simon has dropped her off, she’s gone walkabout, and as some of the boys do the same thing, it could be any one of three of them. The problem is, all the young people who go there have special needs like Beth so there’s no way of telling which one it is.’
‘My God!’ Jess was so appalled that for a moment she couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Surely the staff at the youth club should have kept a better eye on the sexually mature young people? ‘Is there anything that I can do to help?’
Laura shook her head. ‘No, but thanks for asking. I suppose this is every mother’s worst nightmare come true; even more so in Beth’s case, and I just have to deal with it now. I blame myself, Jess. I’ve always known how vulnerable Beth is, and I shouldn’t have let her out of my sight. But I just wanted her to have some sort of normality in her life.’
‘Of course you did. Any mother would, so you mustn’t blame yourself.’ Jess felt tears sting at the back of her eyes.
‘I dare say we’ll get through it,’ Laura replied, trying to be optimistic but failing dismally. ‘I just dread the birth though. I don’t know how Beth will deal with it, despite what the doctor said.’
‘She will get lots of support,’ Jess said encouragingly. Laura looked as if she was about to crack, and she too needed all the support she could get right now.
When Jess got home and saw Simon’s Land Rover she perked up considerably. He’d probably come home because of the poor weather conditions and it would be nice for them to spend a little time together on their own.
He was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper when she entered the house and he glanced up briefly as she took her coat off.
‘Weather stopped play, has it?’ Jess said trying to keep her voice light. He nodded but didn’t reply, so now her voice became solemn as she went on, ‘Laura just told me some dreadful news. I feel so sorry for her.’
‘Why? What’s happened?’ She had his full attention now as she sat down opposite him.
‘Well, it’s not actually Laura – it’s Beth. Laura has just discovered that she’s pregnant.’
‘She’s what?’ Simon stared at her in disbelief. ‘But she can’t be! She’s just a kid.’
‘Actually she isn’t,’ Jess reminded him. ‘She’s a young woman. Laura is so distressed, but then she would be, wouldn’t she? And the worst of it is, they don’t even know who the father is. It appears that when you’ve been dropping her off at the youth club each week, she’s been clearing off so it could be any one of three boys who go there.’
Simon had gone deathly pale, but Jess wasn’t surprised. She knew that her husband was very fond of Beth. In fact, he was like a mother hen when he was around her and very protective.
‘So what are they going to do about it?’ he asked eventually.
‘Den wants her to have an abortion but Laura doesn’t think she can go through with it, and they haven’t much time left before it’s too late for an abortion anyway.’
‘But how will Beth cope with a baby?’ he spluttered, much as Jess herself had done only minutes ago.
‘She won’t, will she?’ Jess replied practically. ‘It will be down to Laura and Den to bring it up, particularly if the baby is special needs like Beth. They’re certainly going to have their hands full.’
‘And how are they going to find out who the father is?’
‘They didn’t seem overly concerned about that. I mean, there wouldn’t be much point in knowing, would there? All the boys who attend the youth club are special needs like Beth, so even if they knew who he was he’d probably be more of a hindrance than a help. It’s all just so sad and such a mess.’
‘You’re not kidding.’ Simon closed the newspaper and threw it across the table as he rose from his seat. ‘I’m going for a bath,’ he informed her shortly, and seconds later Jess found herself alone again – but then she was getting used to that by now.
Chapter Twenty-Six
It was almost a week later when Jess next saw Laura again. She came up to the house one tea-time when Jess was baking. Simon had gone out, as was usual nowadays, and the girls were upstairs in their rooms.
‘Hello,’ Jess greeted her warmly. ‘Come on in and take your coat off. The wind is enough to cut you in two out there.’ And where is Beth, then?’
‘Oh, she’s tucked up in bed.’ Laura plonked herself down at the table looking thoroughly miserable. ‘She’s still feeling very queasy and she doesn’t understand why, although I’ve tried to explain to her. She’s hated being sick ever since she was a little girl.’
‘It isn’t very nice,’ Jess agreed. ‘Thankfully I seem to have got over that stage now.’ The waistbands on her jeans were becoming uncomfortably tight now and today she had felt a movement in her stomach for the first time. It wasn’t what she could have classed as a kick, more of a flutter, but it had made the baby seem more real to her all the same.
‘So how are you feeling about your new addition now?’ Laura asked.
Jess smiled. ‘I think I felt a little flutter today and it brought it home to me that there’s really a baby there,’ she answered. ‘But as to how I feel about it . . . still mixed, I suppose. Sometimes I can’t help but look forward to it and then other times I feel resentful. Probably because Mel and her dad have barely spoken to me since they found out. The way Mel goes on, you wouldn’t think me and her dad were married. It’s as if we’ve committed a cardinal sin. The only one who is really thrilled about it is Jo. She can’t wait and she’s thinking of names already, bless her.’
Dipping her finger in the cake mixture Jess was stirring and then licking it, Laura said, ‘Well, at least you know what you’re letting yourself in for. Poor Beth doesn’t have a clue. She’s not good at dealing with pain and I’m beginning to wonder now if an abortion wouldn’t be the best thing, after all. The trouble is, I shall have to make a decision very soon. Time is fast running out.’
‘It must be very hard for you.’ Jess tried to imagine how she would feel if it was Mel in that position. She piled the mixture into cake tins, then after popping them in the oven, she said hesitantly, ‘You know what you told me some time ago – about there being some sort of presence here? Well, I’m beginning to think you were right.’
‘That’s a bit of a turn-around, isn’t it!’ Laura exclaimed. ‘You looked at me as if I was barmy when I told you. What brought about this change of heart?’
‘Lots of things,’ Jess finally admitted. ‘I hear things – someone crying – and sometimes I get the feeling that someone is standing behind me. I’ve seen a face peering out from a window in the attics and then recently I caught a glimpse of a young woman on the landing. She was dressed in a long skirt. At other times I’ve heard whispering, as if someone is trying to talk to me, and lately things have started to go missing – and then they turn up in the most improbable places. I’m sure it has something to do with the journal that I told you about, that I found in the attic. I think if anyone really is here, it’s Martha.’
‘It’s certainly a young woman,’ Laura agreed solemnly. ‘I’ve sensed her too. I think she wanted you to come here – and that’s why you felt so drawn to the house.’
‘But why is she still here?’ Jess asked. ‘I thought when people died they passed over to the other side, through some sort of light or something.’
‘I really don’t know,’ Laura admitted. ‘But I know she’s here for a reason and it’s definitely something to do with you.’
‘The gypsy woman told me almost the same thing.’ Jess stared towards the high ceiling. ‘I haven’t read much of the journal for a while now. I thought if I stopped reading it so much, the strange things wouldn’t keep happening – but it hasn’t made any difference.’
‘They won’t stop,’ Laura assured her. ‘Whoever is here won’t leave now until they’ve done what they stayed to do, so you’ve just got to go with it. I don’t think she actually wishes you any
harm – but she’s certainly got issues with someone here.’
‘So why don’t you just ask her what it is then?’ Jess snapped. ‘If you can see or sense these things, surely you can talk to her?’ Then her shoulders sagged. ‘I’m sorry, Laura, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.’
Hoping to change the subject, Laura said, ‘It was so nice of your Simon to call in to see Beth the other day. She was really pleased to see him. I think she misses him giving her a lift to the youth club.’
‘Simon called in?’ It was the first Jess had heard of it, and she was mildly surprised.
‘Yes, he asked if Den and I wanted him to try and find out who was responsible for getting her into this mess but we told him we don’t want to pursue that. There wouldn’t be any point. It’s our problem and we’ll have to deal with it the best way we can. At least the youth club now keep all the youngsters under much stricter surveillance so it can’t happen again.’
Once Laura had gone back to her own cottage Jess got on the computer and did some shopping, stocking up on food for the freezer, then she went on various sites hunting for wallpaper that might be suitable for the nursery. She knew that if she was going to keep this baby she ought to start getting prepared for it, and as she had nothing better to do, now was as good a time as any. There were two or three patterns that she quite liked but in the end she decided to wait until Jo was with her and let her have the final choice. It was the least she could do, seeing as Jo was the only one who was pleased about the baby.
She cooked a spaghetti Bolognese for tea, and then both the girls shot off back to their rooms to do their homework, leaving Jess to clear away the supper.
When the kitchen was tidy again she settled down to read the local newspaper at the table and was surprised to see headlights flash into the courtyard. She was even more shocked when Simon breezed in seconds later with a wide smile on his face. It was the first time he had been home early and in a good mood for ages, and she could hardly believe it.
‘Hello, love.’ He slid out of his coat before planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek. ‘How are you feeling then?’
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