Everything But Marriage

by Dallas Schulze

  She'd never have imagined that the skin behind her knees was so sensitive or that having him kiss the inside of her elbow could send shivers of awareness through her.

  He encouraged her to explore his body as thoroughly as he had hers. Annalise was hesitant at first. It wasn't that she was unfamiliar with the male anatomy. After all, she had been married. But it was a long step from knowing what a man looked like without his clothes and feeling the strength of him under her hands.

  But his response encouraged her to overcome ha* shyness. And she discovered that there was something intensely erotic at feeling Devlin tremble and knowing it was because of her. It made her feel bold and deliciously wicked.

  When she thought about it, she was amazed by how quickly and easily they made the shift from room-

  mates to lovers. Though she left most of her thmgs in the spare bedroom, Amialise never used the bed there. It felt natural to go to sleep in Devlin's arms, wonderful to wake up in his bed.

  She wondered sometimes just where they were headed. He'd said he couldn't make her any promises, told her there were things she didn't know about him. She didn't doubt he was right.

  She still hadn't the faintest idea how he'd come by the kind of money he was spending on the house, especially since he never made any mention of a job he'd had in the past or might return to in the future. But she didn't really care where the money had come from.

  She knew the most important things about Devlin Russell. She knew that he was kind and much softer than he'd probably willingly admit. He'd not only pulled her out of the river, he'd helped her put her life back together.

  He pretended to be indifferent to Beauty and her offspring, but he never forgot to make sure there was plenty of cat food in her dish. When the kittens started leaving their home in his closet and venturing into the wide world beyond, Devlin never once showed the slightest sign of impatience at finding them constantly underfoot.

  When pathetic wails emanated from the bathroom at two in the morning, Devlin was there hard on Beauty's heels. He fished one particularly daring explorer out of the empty bathtub, which had been easy enough to get into but proved impossible to escape from. Annalise watched sleepily from the bed.

  "They like you," she said, cuddHng up to his side as he sHd under the sheet.

  "They're a pain in the neck,'* he muttered. But the complaint lacked any real force.

  She smiled in the darkness. It was funny how he always downplayed his softer side, as if it might make him vulnerable to admit it existed. But she knew it was there.

  Devlin's sister showed up again a few days after her first meeting with Annalise. Devlin was in town picking up some lumber when Annalise heard the car coming up the driveway. She'd been shredding chicken for a salad. At first she thought it was Devlin returning, but the deep rumble of the truck's engine was missing.

  Rinsing her hands in the sink, she pulled a towel off the rack and dried her hands as she went to the front door. She recognized the car immediately.

  Color climbed her cheeks when she thought of Kelly's last visit. Devlin's sister must think she was insane. If Devlin had been home, she might have been tempted to duck out the back door rather than face Kelly again. But Devlin wasn't here and she could hardly ignore his sister.

  Drawing in a deep breath, she pushed open the screen door and stepped onto the porch as Kelly crossed the yard. There was no sign of her baby and Annalise felt a twinge of relief. She knew she wouldn't fall apart again, but it would be a long time before she could look at a baby without feeling the pain of her own loss. Maybe that time would never come.

  "Hello." Kelly's smile was friendly as she approached the porch.

  "Hi." Annalise hoped her own smile didn't reflect her nervousness. "Fm afraid Devlin's not here."

  "I figured that when I didn't see his truck." Kelly climbed the steps and stopped beside her, reaching up to take off the sunglasses that shaded her dark eyes. "Mind if I wait for him?"

  "Of course not." Annalise was shocked that she felt she had to ask. She pulled open the screen. "I made some lemonade earlier today. Would you like some?"

  "Sounds like heaven." Kelly followed her into the kitchen. "It looks like you were in the middle of something. Why don't you finish it and I'll pour the lemonade?"

  Annalise hesitated, but Kelly was already pulling open the refrigerator.

  "What are you making?"

  "Sesame chicken salad." She returned to the task of stripping the chicken from its bones. "It's been so hot, I thought a salad would be nice."

  "It looks Uke this summer is going to be a real scorcher, doesn't it? Have you been living with my brother very long?"

  The question was asked in the same casual tone as her comment about the weather. It took Annalise a moment to register the change of subject.

  "Not long. A few weeks."

  "How long have you known him?" Kelly asked brightly. She filled two glasses with lemonade and set the pitcher down before fixing Annalise with inquiring eyes.

  Annalise took her time about answering. She finished the last piece of chicken and scooped the meat into a bowl. She washed her hands and picked up the towel to dry them before turning to look at Kelly.

  There was curiosity in the younger woman*s eyes but no hostility. Annalise couldn't have blamed her if she'd been more than a little doubtful about her brother's houseguest, considering her performance when they'd met. But if Kelly had doubts, she was concealing them.

  "Actually, I met your brother a few weeks ago," she said slowly, trying to decide how much to say. What would Devlin want his sister to know? There was no way of knowing, and since Devlin wasn't here, she was just going to have to go with her own instincts.

  "I fell in the river, and he pulled me out."

  Kelly's eyes widened. The glass she'd just lifted hit the table with a thump that threatened to slosh lemonade over the top.

  "You're kidding."

  "No." Annalise folded the towel with nervous precision and set it on the counter. She linked her hands in front of her. "I didn't have any money or anywhere to go so he let me stay here. I've been helping him with some records and doing most of the phone calls to suppliers."

  "You don't have to explain to me." She stopped and gave Annalise a sheepish smile. "I suppose I more or less asked for an explanation," she admitted.

  "I don't mind. I don't blame you for being curious."

  **Well, I suspect Devlin wouldn't feel the same way. My big brother has a nasty habit of never telling me anything. Sometimes I think he must have been a su-perspy all those years he was gone."

  Annalise smiled but didn't comment. She'd thought the same thing herself. She knew Devlin had left home at eighteen and that he hadn't come back to Indiana until a year ago, but he'd never mentioned what he'd done during the years in between. Just like he'd never mentioned where he'd gotten the money to build the house. But she didn't think he'd particularly appreciate her speculating about his past with his sister.

  "I'm glad you came back," she said. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day. I must have seemed like a crazy woman."

  "No. You seemed like someone who was in pain. I've been there a time or two myself. You don't have to apologize."

  Until that moment, Annalise hadn't seen much resemblance between Kelly and Devlin. But there was a certain look of acceptance in Kelly's eyes that suddenly made her think of the way Devlin had taken her in without asking questions, without demanding explanations. It was a rare quality but one the Russells seemed to have more than their share of.

  "Thank you. But I want to apologize anyway. And I feel as if I should explain."

  "Don't feel you have to."

  "I want to." Annalise moved away from the counter to pull out a chair at the kitchen table. Kelly followed suit, sitting down across from her.

  "A little over a year ago, my daughter... died."

  There didn't seem to be any other way to say it, but the words sounded flat and harsh in contrast to the
bright sunshine that filled the kitchen. It hurt to hear them. Saying it aloud seemed to sharpen her loss.

  "How terrible." Kelly's sympathy was quick and warmly offered. **rm so sorry."

  "Thank you." Annalise gave her a shaky smile. "Mary was older than... your baby, but for a minute, when I saw him, it just brought it all back. But that's no reason for me to run out like such an idiot."

  "Please. Don't apologize, Annalise. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel. If something happened to Clay, I'd... I just don't know what I'd do." Kelly blinked against the sting of tears, unable to conceive how she'd go on if something happened to her son.

  She reached across the table, her hand closing over Annalise's. Though she'd promised herself that she wasn't going to cry, Annalise felt tears fill her eyes when she met Kelly's gaze. Maybe it was the fact that Kelly had a child of her own that made her sympathy seem so personal.

  "Thank you." She turned her hand, returning Kelly's grip. Her smile was shaky but hardly more so than Kelly's.

  The low rumble of Devlin's truck coming up the driveway interrupted before either of them could say anything more. Annalise felt a mixture of regret and relief. There was relief in having the too-intense moment broken, regret because it seemed as if she and Kelly might have made a start toward a friendship given a little more time.

  * * *

  Kelly watched her older brother's arrival with interest. It had only been a few days since she'd found out that Annalise was living with him, but that had been more than enough time for her to speculate endlessly over the sudden arrival of a woman in Devlin's life.

  Since a lot of her speculating had been done out loud, it had been her husband's suggestion that she drop in on Devlin again. Actually Dan's suggestion had been more of a plea. He'd taken Clay with him for the day and all but ordered her to go see her brother and satisfy her curiosity.

  Kelly had been relieved when she arrived to find only AnnaHse. She knew from past experience that she would get little satisfaction from trying to pry information out of Devlin. Better to question the furniture, it was more likely to answer.

  In the year since he'd unexpectedly appeared on her wedding day, he'd told her almost nothing of where he'd been or what he'd done in the ten years since he'd left home. She'd respected his right to privacy.

  No one knew better than she what his childhood had been like. It wasn't the sort of background that encouraged a person to be open and forthcoming with other people, even with those who cared for them. The wariness in his eyes told her that the intervening years hadn't given him any reason to open up.

  Kelly accepted his choice, even as she ached for the hurts that made him keep the world—including her— at a distance. She'd been completely unprepared to find that he had a woman living with him.

  He'd said that Annalise was staying with him, making it sound as if she were more of a temporary boarder than anything else. Annalise had also implied that her staying with Devlin was little more than a case of him offering her a helping hand when she'd needed it.

  But it didn't take more than a few moments of observing them together for Kelly to be sure that they were sharing a bed, as well as a house. It wasn't anything obvious. It was subtle things. A certain intimacy in the way they looked at each other, in the casual way AnnaHse straightened his shirt collar.

  That Annalise cared for him was easily read in her eyes. What Devlin felt was harder to say. He didn't reveal his feelings easily. But it seaned as if there were a little less tension around his eyes, a subtle relaxation in the way he held his shoulders.

  Kelly could only hope that, whatever was developing between the two of them, neither of them were going to get badly burned.

  It was a few days after Kelly's second visit that the dog showed up. He was not a terribly prepossessing animal. Of a size approaching huge and a color best described as nondescript, he was shaggy, filthy and undoubtedly riddled with fleas.

  The first time Annalise saw him, he was trying to tip over the trash cans. He darted off as soon as he saw her, and she thought that was the last she'd see of him. But he was back a few hours later, a gray shadow in the brush at the edge of the yard.

  Her heart went out to him. He was so obviously starving. She got some hamburger from the refrigerator and put it on a plate that she carried out into the yard. The dog darted away as soon as she stepped into the yard, but she had the feeling he hadn't gone very far. She set the meat down a few yards away from the porch. She returned to the house but lingered at the back door to see what would happen.

  It wasn't long before the dog reappeared. He approached the plate warily, his eyes darting back and forth as if looking for a trap. The food disappeared so quickly, she halfway expected him to eat the plate before he realized it wasn't edible.

  She'd been feeding the dog for three days before Devlin noticed. Armalise had just put out another plate of hamburger and was standing on the back porch, watching the dog eat. He'd become a little more confident, no longer rurming as soon as he saw her. She'd been wondering how long it would take to get him to the point where he'd let her approach him and hadn't heard Devlin's approach.

  "A friend of yours?"

  She jumped and spun around guiltily. Devlin stood behind her, his eyes on the dog, who'd lifted his head from the plate and was watching the two of them warily. Aimalise was one thing, but Devlin was an added factor that he wasn't at all sure of.

  "He was starving," she said, getting to the point immediately.

  "He looks like you should be feeding him hay instead of meat," Devlin suggested, eyeing the dog's massive frame.

  "He doesn't eat much." Since the dog was polishing off a pound of hamburger just then, it wasn't perhaps the most truthful thing she'd ever said.

  Devlin's gaze settled on her face, his expression unreadable. "I'd guess he doesn't eat any more than a small pack of wolves."

  "I couldn't let him go hungry," she said, nibbling on her lower lip.

  "Don't worry about it. I'll pick up some dog food when I go into town this afternoon. Is there anything else you need?"

  And that seemed to be all he had to say about the dog. He didn't offer any objections to the animal's presence, any more than he'd objected when Beauty joined his household or when her kittens had slowly taken over the house, treating it as their own personal playground.

  Annalise named the dog Lobo, in honor of Devlin's comment about him eating like a pack of wolves, and invested considerable time in convincing him that she could be a friend, as well as a source of food.

  Etevlin showed no real interest in the latest addition to his former household of one. Aimalise thought he was completely indifferent until she came home from a rare solo trip to Remembrance to find Devlin seated cross-legged in the middle of the backyard, a plate of hamburger a few feet away from him and Lobo crouched warily a httle beyond it.

  The house must have blocked the sound of her car from reaching Devlin. She had no doubt he wouldn't want her to know that he was trying to gain Lobo's

  trust. As she watched, Lobo crept a little closer to the meat, his shaggy belly dragging on the grass.

  Etevlin didn't move. She could hear the low rumble of his voice, though he was speaking too softly for her to make out any words. The words weren't as important as the tone. Lobo's ears pricked forward slightly, and he edged a little closer to the food.

  Annalise couldn't have said how long she stood there watching, and she had no way of knowing how long Devlin had been waiting before she arrived, but he never showed a hint of impatience as Lobo slowly made his way to the food. Devlin didn't move as the dog ate, keeping up the same low-voiced conversation, which was answered by an occasional puzzled look from Lobo or a twitch of an ear.

  When the plate was empty, Lobo didn't immediately dart away. Instead, he lifted his head to look at Devlin. He licked his muzzle, his eyes seeming to hold a question. Moving slowly, Devlin lifted his hand, stretching it out palm up. Lobo sniffed the air between them, and for
a moment, Annalise thought he was going to take the man up on his invitation to come closer. But instead, he shook himself as if shaking away the urge to be too trusting and turned and trotted off.

  She'd planned to get out of sight and pretend she hadn't seen anything of the interaction between man and dog, but Devlin turned his head suddenly, almost as if he sensed her presence. It would have been ridiculous to duck back out of sight.

  Annalise pushed open the screen door as Devlin stood up. He retrieved the empty plate and walked toward her, his steps slow.

  "For a minute there, I thought you had him/* she said.

  Devlin shrugged. "From the looks of him, Fd say he's been on his own quite a while. It isn't easy for him to trust."

  Rather like himself, Annalise thought, but she didn't say as much. She took the plate from him as they entered the kitchen. She rinsed it and set it in the dishwasher, turning around in time to see one of the kittens launch a fierce attack on Devlin's shoe. Devlin bent down to pull his attacker loose from his shoelace, settling the infant in the palm of his hand, where it promptly began to chew on one of his fingers.

  "You're very good with animals," she told him softly, watching him deal with the kitten.

  "It doesn't take much." He deposited the kitten on the floor, where it promptly darted off in search of new mischief.

  "You were very comfortable with your nephew," she added, remembering how easily he'd handled the infant, without any of the stiffness men usually showed when confronted by a baby. "You'd be a good father."

  "No." The single word was flat and harsh. "That's something I'll never be."

  He walked out without another word, leaving Annalise staring after him with a frown. What had she said to upset him?

  ♦ 4: ♦

  Devlin strode out of the house, aware that he'd overreacted. Annalise's comment had been nothing more than the sort of casual remark anyone might make. She'd had no way of knowing that her words were going to touch a sore spot that he'd thought healed long ago.