“I think you’ve had enough. Go home, kid.” The burly man throws his tea towel over his shoulder and smirks at me before walking away. I frown down at my empty hands resting on the bar. That’s not fair; I’m not even drunk yet. Snatching my bag off the floor beside me, I leave.
As soon as I’m outside in the cold air, the alcohol hits me hard. Dizziness takes over as I start walking home. By the time I reach my apartment door, I’m ready to throw up. This was a bad idea. I chuck my bag on the floor, not caring where it lands, and dash into the bathroom, holding myself over the toilet.
When I’m finished heaving, I lie down on the cold tiles and stare at the open bathroom door. From down here, the dizziness isn’t so bad. Almost manageable.
“Kristian? What happened? Are you sick?” Jess echoes through the room. I feel her cold, light touch on my cheek and turn my head to gaze up at her. She frowns and leans closer, sniffing at the air. “Have you been drinking?”
Unable to see the disappointment on her face, I turn my head back to the floor, resting my cheek on the tiles. Her presence leaves the room a moment later. I close my eyes and curl into myself, holding my stomach.
***
JESSICA
I drift down the street, not really paying attention to where I’m going. I want to stay with Kristian, but I feel restless, like I’m supposed to be somewhere. I can’t figure it out. Gliding up to a shop window, I peek inside. It’s one of those new-agey stores with the special herbs and rocks. I screw up my nose and turn to leave. You would think being a ghost would make me believe in all that spiritual stuff, but I don’t. It still seems like hogwash to me.
“Be careful, sweet child.” I jerk back and frown at the old lady standing in front of me, staring at me. Her white hair looks much too pretty to be gray, it almost glows in the dim streetlights and her unusual green eyes sparkle with knowledge I can’t ever hope to possess. Can she see me? “Yes, I can see you.” She laughs. My eyes widen and I drift backwards, away from her. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to warn you.”
“Warn me about what?”
“If you don’t move on soon, you will lose yourself, child. The evil in this world will overtake your pure soul and you will cease to exist as the person you once were.”
I frown. “What does that even mean?”
“It means, if you are not careful, you will hurt the ones you love and destroy many other lives. It starts with blackouts. Soon enough, you’ll know what you’re doing, but it won’t matter, you’ll have already lost yourself in the shadows.”
Her words send a shiver down my spine. I turn to make a run for it. “You’re scaring me.” And I don’t understand, I add to myself.
“Shhh,” she reassures gently, stepping closer and blocking my path before I can escape. “It doesn’t have to be like that. You just have to release whatever you’re holding on to and move on to the next life.” She smiles gently and briefly touches my arm before walking away. I stare after her, not sure what to do next.
***
KRISTIAN
My phone beeps loudly, waking me up with a start. I groan and roll over on the hard floor. I’ve fallen asleep in the bathroom. The ringing of my phone stops and I let out a sigh of relief. My head is pounding and my mouth is dry and tastes like sawdust. My phone starts up again. I pull it from my pocket and nearly throw it across the room at the wall. I pause when I see the unfamiliar number on the screen. Dreading the worst, I answer it.
“Hello?” My voice comes out croaky and weak.
The caller sighs loudly in relief. “Kristian. I was getting worried. Where are you?”
“I’m at home. Who is this?” I rub my hand across my eyes and sit up, stretching the stiffness out of my back.
“It’s Bailey. And you were supposed to be here an hour ago. Are you okay?” Oh crap, what time is it? I push myself off the floor and stumble into the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the microwave.
“I’m fine. Sorry, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Okay, we’re on Twenty-first Street. See you soon.”
I completely forgot we were on site today. Why didn’t my work alarm wake me? I rush around the apartment and throw a fresh shirt on before walking out the door and jogging down the street. My head pounds every time my feet hit the pavement. It’s my own fault, really. I’m never drinking again.
Bailey is already setting up the camera equipment when I get there. She smiles when she sees me. I throw my bag into the van and take over setting up so she can start with the sound equipment. Her brow creases in concern as she watches me.
“Are you okay, Krissy?”
“I’m fine.” I hate that question and I wish people would stop asking me that. Do I have a sign on my back that says, ‘please ask me if I’m okay, I like stupid questions’? I shake my head and immediately regret it. Holding my hand to my head, I unbuckle the box in front of me.
“Are you sick? You should have just said so and stayed home.” Bailey moves so she’s standing in my way, making it so I have to look at her. Her concerned gaze inspects my face and she raises her eyebrows, waiting for my answer.
“I’m not sick. I had a little too much to drink yesterday.” I huff, trying to edge my way past. She’s shocked for a split second, and then she bursts out laughing. Her hand lands on my shoulder as she tries to get control of herself. I stand still and wait. When she calms down, I ask, “Are you finished?”
She smiles wide and nods.
Walking back over to the van, she returns with something in her hand. “Here, this will help.” She holds out her hand, offering me the aspirin. “You know, last time I got drunk, I may or may not have ended up in a pink tutu, making out with my best friend—who is a girl, by the way—and then we ended up in this stripper’s—” She stops suddenly as if realizing what she just said. I accept the aspirin from her hand and stare at her in surprise. “Okay, I’m never talking again.” Her face flushes a beautiful shade of red and she shields her eyes in embarrassment. “Just forget I said anything.”
I try to hold it in, but I can’t stop myself. The way she’s blushing, what she admitted just to make me feel better…I smile. I haven’t smiled in so long, it feels like a weakness. I try to turn away from her before she catches it, but the way her face softens as she walks away makes me think she saw it.
***
“I’m sorry for how I reacted last night,” Jess says from inside my bedroom as I walk in. I nod, it’s not as if she did anything wrong. “Kristian?” she asks softly.
“Yes?” I answer, pulling my shirt over my head and walking around the bed, heading for the bathroom.
“Never mind,” she whispers sadly. Stopping just inside the bathroom, I turn around with a frown. I move to reach out to her, but before I can touch her, my phone buzzes on the night stand with a text. I glance at the screen and recognize Bailey’s number from this morning.
I’ll be at your place in 30. We’re going out again
I groan in annoyance. She’s nearly as bad as Jake. Jess appears beside me holding my arm; she reads the text and frowns up at me.
“You’re going out again?”
I shrug. “Apparently.” Glancing at her sad face, I realize how she must feel. “Do you want to tag along?” She perks up almost instantly.
“You won’t even know I’m there.”
I take my time in the shower, letting the rest of my monstrous hangover wash down the drain. Bailey knocks on the door just as I wrap a towel around my middle. Rolling my eyes, I answer the door. Her smile fades when she notices my lack of clothing.
“How can you not be dressed yet? I gave you half an hour.” She pushes past me into the apartment and sits down at my kitchen table to wait. I glance over my shoulder at her as I walk back to my room and catch her watching me. She blushes and looks away, pretending to study something on my table.
“So where are we going this time?”
Bailey’s brow creases and she looks away as we walk dow
n the street. “I was thinking we could go to the observatory. Might help you appreciate the stars a little better.” I sigh loudly at her tone of voice and hail a cab. The bright yellow car pulls up to the sidewalk and I pause with the door open, not sure if Jess is going to ride in the car or if she’ll just meet us at the observatory.
When we arrive, the observatory is packed. People milling about everywhere.
“What’s going on? Why are there so many people?”
Bailey glances at me as if I’m dumb. “There’s a meteor shower tonight. Do you live under a rock? Honestly, Krissy, we work at a news station.”
I open my mouth to say something, but stop myself. She’s right, so I settle for the next best thing. “Stop calling me that stupid nickname.”
She grins, nearly skipping as we approach the entrance.
The inside of the observatory is set up more like a theater. Rows upon rows of seats and a huge projector screen, the only difference is this one’s on the ceiling. Bailey grabs a hold of my hand and leads me across the huge room to a set of empty seats.
She’s still holding my hand after we sit. My fingers twitch, and she glances over at me, pulling her hand away self-consciously. “Oh, sorry.” The warmth of her hand recedes quickly, leaving mine cold.
Suddenly, I can feel Jess’s presence beside me. I tilt my head in her direction. We went over the rules for tonight before my shower. She can’t touch me or talk to me; it will look weird if I suddenly start talking to the air. It’s nice to be able to feel her beside me, having her here with me makes me feel less guilty about last time.
By the time everyone is seated the meteor shower has already started. The projector overhead shows the direct feed from the telescope on the outside of the building. The shooting stars are amazing, zipping across the sky so brightly only to die out too quickly.
Just like Jess.
The lingering ache of her loss slams into my chest, it feels like I’ve been hit by a truck. I grimace. I have to think of something else. I look at Bailey. She’s staring upwards in rapture, the starlight glinting in her eyes, a smile on her face. Is there ever a time when she’s not smiling?
***
JESSICA
It’s sickening to watch the girl fawn all over my Kristian. Can’t she take a hint? He’s not interested. He wants me. I glance quickly down the street as I walk, or should I say float beside Kristian. She’s chatting away to him, but his replies are short and to the point. I smirk to myself, she can try, but she’ll never have him.
“Walk slower.” The girl grabs Kristian’s arm and pulls him back.
He looks over at her in confusion. “Why?”
She raises her eyebrow in a very unflattering way. “Why not?” Ugh, could she get any more annoying? And that stupid nickname she uses for him, he doesn’t even like it.
When we reach the parking lot beside Kristian’s apartment building, I nearly jump for joy. Finally, this date or not date is over and we can go inside, away from this crazy girl.
Kristian stops and spins around to face her. “Well, I’ll see you—”
“Wait,” she interrupts him, reaching for his hand. “Can you hear that?”
“Hear what?” I can hear the annoyance in his voice as he stares down at her outstretched hand.
“The music, Kristian.” She snatches his hand and pulls him close to her, spinning them both around. I growl under my breath and move to see Kristian’s face, to see if he’s as mad as I am.
I open my mouth to scream when I see his shocked expression. He’s not mad, not even upset. I refuse to stand by and watch this.
Pushing my body to appear back in Kristian’s dark apartment, I let the jealousy and rage overtake my senses. I throw my hand out, a gust of wind smashing the TV into the wall. Next I turn to the kitchen. Lifting my hand; all the cutlery and plates fly out of the cupboard and smash into the opposite walls. I don’t stop there, all of my pain flies around me in a storm of Kristian’s possessions.
***
KRISTIAN
Bailey’s head rests against my chest as we turn in circles. I think she’s dancing to the barely there music echoing down the street. She’s not following any particular pattern, we just sway and turn. I hesitate and then wrap my arms around her shoulders. She leans back to say something, but I don’t hear her. A buzzing starts in my ears and then a sharp pain hits me in the stomach, winding me. I let go of Bailey, groaning in agony. My knees hit the tarmac with a thump as I double over. My mind blanks at the force of the pain. Something’s wrong with Jess. I clutch my stomach and lean forward, closing my eyes to try blocking it out.
“Kristian!” Bailey kneels on the ground in front of me. “What’s wrong?” I ignore her. She can’t help me, I need to find Jess.
Bailey’s hands suddenly grip either side of my face firmly, pulling my head up. “Look at me.” Her hard voice makes me open my eyes slowly. I must look so weak to her. I close my eyes again when I see her concerned expression. She pulls my face closer and presses her lips to mine roughly. The pain in my stomach momentarily forgotten, I lean into her without thinking.
Bailey pulls away first, very slowly. Her light blue gaze holds mine, searching. She looks surprised at her own actions, or maybe at my reaction to them. The world around us abruptly comes back into focus and I realize the pain in my stomach has lessened. This was a mistake, what if Jess saw us together? It would crush her, and I can’t lose her again.
I turn away from Bailey, not willing to look her in the eye. “I have to go.” Pushing myself off the ground, I head toward the door to my building.
“Wait? What?” Bailey calls after me. She doesn’t follow. I glance back at her as I reach the door. She’s still kneeling in the middle of the empty parking lot, looking confused. I take a deep breath and jog up the stairs to my apartment. I have to find Jess, to see if she’s okay.
The kitchen is dark as I enter. Something cracks and crunches under my feet as I step forward and I frown.
“Kristian,” Jess whispers near my ear. I turn toward her voice.
“Jess? Are you okay? What happened?” I reach over and flip the light switch. The fluorescent light illuminates the mess. I gasp; everything I own is broken or destroyed, including the furniture.
Jess’s whisper comes from behind me. “I don’t know. I was right beside you when that girl started dancing with you. You let her and that hurt.” I stay quiet, what am I supposed to say to that? “I was upset, but then I came looking for you. I was worried I’d hurt you like last time. I was wrong.”
She saw the kiss. Panicked, I spin around, trying to reach for her.
“Jess, wait! It’s not what you think.” I can’t feel her around me anymore. “Jess?” I ask again, quieter, but she’s gone.
It feels as though she’s died all over again. I can’t handle the grief that swamps me. I clutch my still aching stomach and sit down amidst the broken glass in the kitchen and hang my head. How did everything go so wrong? A tear dribbles from my nose and hits a shiny piece of glass, followed by another and another. Why do I have to wreck everything? It’s all my fault, all over again.
I don’t know how long I lay on the cold kitchen floor, glass poking into my side. I remember the sunrise, but then I also remember seeing the sunset. My phone is a constant annoyance, buzzing or ringing in my pocket. I’ve had enough. Pulling it from my jeans, I hurl it across the room. It hits the hard floor with a loud crack and skids to a stop between my broken TV and the stuffing from my couch.
I feel empty.
By some miracle, I had a second chance. Jess was here with me, that’s all I ever wanted. I’ve ruined everything.
I roll over so I’m lying on my back. A broken plate presses into my spine, but I ignore it.
“Jess?” I call softly into the darkness. Still no answer. She’s gone.
My stomach grumbles in protest, I really should eat something, but every time I think about food my stomach churns, making me feel sick. My mouth feels dry, I need wate
r. I just can’t bring myself to get up.
I don’t know how much time has passed or how long ago my phone finally gave up and died.
A loud knock startles me, my eyes snapping open. I stay where I am, waiting. If I stay quiet, maybe they’ll leave.
“Kristian, are you there? Open the door,” Bailey’s voice yells from the other side of my locked door. I turn my head away, ignoring her. I no longer have the energy to get up.
“I’m warning you right now, Krissy; I know how to pick a lock.” She goes quiet, waiting for my answer. I wish she would just go away.
“Right, well, I warned you.” I hear something drop on the other side of the door, and then a scratching noise. She really is trying to pick my lock. A loud curse escapes her mouth and something clangs on the floor. I sigh under my breath and close my eyes.
Suddenly she shouts in triumph and my door swings open. I hold my breath. If I don’t move, maybe she won’t see me.
“Kristian!” Never mind. “Oh my god.” I hear her slide across the glass strewn floor and stop beside me, her fingers probing my shoulder and arms. “Oh my god, Kristian. Please be alive,” she whispers frantically, gripping my shoulder tightly and shaking. I groan in frustration and open my eyes slowly.
“I’m not dead, yet.” My voice comes out hoarse and dry.
“What happened?”
I can’t bring myself to look at her panicked face, so I just stare straight ahead; her knees press into the broken glass on the floor, creating little droplets of blood.
Maybe if I ignore her long enough, she’ll leave. “Are you hurt?” Yes, I’m hurt. The pain and loss I feel has crippled me, obviously. She places her warm hand under my cheek and lifts my face to look at her. Glass shards bite into my skin, but I don’t really feel them.
“What happened?” she asks again, more forcibly this time. My eyes wander away from hers, uninterested. She shakes my head slightly to get my attention. I meet and hold her searching gaze. I suppose she deserves some sort of explanation, she has been a good friend.
November Sky (Hardest Mistakes Book 2) Page 6