Edge of Bliss (Love on the Edge Book 3)

by Molly E. Lee

  But I did.

  I loved the chase. I loved being on his right. I loved being with him. Period.

  But I was still pissed off. And healing. So chasing wasn’t an option anyway. I had thought about calling him a thousand times, but since I’d agreed to meet Ms. Owens at the Oklahoma City News Studio tomorrow, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him yet. Not until I knew for sure what I wanted to do—and because I wanted to do it, not for anyone else’s reasoning.

  Though I could walk easier now, and rarely felt pain when I breathed deep except for random twinges, I spent most of my days stretched out in Dash’s bed, allowing his scent to envelop me. It didn’t make sense that I could be mad at him and yet want to be surrounded by him at the same time. Maybe that was sign enough, but I wanted to be sure I was making choices based on my own heart, not on what I’d been told I could do. I would never be that girl again and, honestly, Dash wouldn’t like me if I was.

  “Why are you in bed?” Mom asked as she walked in the room. “I know for a fact you feel just fine. You need to get up and take a shower.”

  I rubbed my eyes that felt like they’d been scrubbed with steel wool. I hadn’t spent every waking moment crying over the situation, thank God, but I missed Dash and wanted to find a way to make everything right that we’d managed to make wrong. But I knew that wouldn’t happen until I took the meeting with Mrs. Owens tomorrow and figure out once and for all where my heart was—professionally.

  Personally, it belonged to Dash. It always would.

  “Mom,” I groaned. “Can’t you tell I’m . . . thinking?” I rolled over and buried my head in Dash’s pillow. She smacked my butt, and I gasped. “Mom!”

  “You’ve been thinking for weeks now. I swear, you’re so inside your own head even Hail can tell something is off. Much like her mother, she hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday morning.”

  I bolted upright. “What?” That was a bad sign. Bulldogs rarely didn’t eat—unless they were sick or raising a protest against some injustice they’d been dealt. I pushed past Mom and carefully made my way downstairs, instantly freezing when I saw Hail perfectly content on Dash’s couch, snoring like she was in a food coma.

  On the dining room table was enough food to feed the entire storm-chasing team—two different choices of bread, thinly sliced turkey and ham, four different kinds of cheeses, chips, veggies, and every condiment available. And salad. “Are we entertaining today?” I called up the stairs as Mom walked down them.

  I turned my back on the food and dropped to my knees beside Hail, stroking her belly as she rolled over for proper pets. My hand lingered over the spot where she too had once suffered from a cracked rib, and I smiled softly at her. She had healed perfectly and went on with her fantastic life as if nothing had happened. The memory of the night Justin had hurt her in a drunken stupor made me shake with rage, but the fire had lessened since I’d forgiven him.

  “She’s eaten fine today, hasn’t she?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at Mom as she sat down at the table.

  “I had to get you downstairs. You need to eat. And shower. And do human things. Like call your boyfriend.”

  I took a seat across from her. “And the fact that you made enough food to feed ten people?”

  She knitted her eyebrows like she’d sucked on a lemon. “First, I didn’t make a thing on this table. I merely purchased it and set it out. Second, you have been picking at your food for weeks. There is enough variety here for you to find something you like. And finally, honey, you have got to snap out of it.”

  “I know,” I said, raking my fingers through my hair. “I just feel so lost.”

  “Eat.” She eyed the spread between us.

  I grabbed a croissant and split it open, stuffing it with almost two of everything on the table before taking a massive bite. “Happy?” I asked around a mouthful of sandwich.

  “Yes.” She laughed. “Mostly. I’d love it if you called Dash after you ate.”

  “I can’t,” I said after swallowing. “I have to get the meeting over with first. Then I’ll know what to do. What to say.”

  “How about I love you, and this is a stupid argument?”

  “Thanks, Mom.” I took another bite to avoid snapping.

  “Blake, wake up. Dash is not him!” I jolted from her outburst. She took a breath and settled her hands neatly on the table. “You have spent days comparing your past with your present, and it isn’t fair. You can’t possibly compare two things that are as different as night and day. Dash is a good man. Who loves you without conditions. And you are not the girl you used to be.”

  I set the sandwich down. “How can you be so sure? If I’m even contemplating letting something Dash wants decide my future for me, then how is it any different from when Justin forced my hand and made me attend college here instead of Tulsa? Huh? How is it different from every time Justin did something drastic and I stayed with him despite knowing my heart wasn’t in it?”

  Mom shook her head and grabbed some wheat bread from the middle of the table, quickly making a sandwich like she was angry at it. “It’s different because Justin’s motivations were spurred from his selfishness. Have you ever seen Dash be selfish? Even once?”

  I closed my eyes, sighing. “No.”

  “Do you think he would have signed the contract for that show had he known it would put you in this position?”

  “No.”

  She hmphed before taking a tiny bite of her sandwich. Hail’s nails clicked against the hardwood as she waddled over to beg at my side. I tore off a corner of my cheese and handed it to her, patting her head as she took it greedily.

  “You’re my mother, remember?” I asked. “You’re supposed to support me. Not him.”

  She fixed a glare on me, her sandwich an inch from her mouth. “It’s because I’m your mother that I say these things. I will always want what is best for you, even if you can’t see it.”

  I pressed my lips together. There was no denying that. She had told me not to fall in love with Justin and then expressed her disregard of him the entire time I was in a relationship with him. She knew then, as she knew now. But it wasn’t up to her, or Dash, or the network. I needed to know with one hundred percent certainty that my actions were my own. I couldn’t expect any of them to understand it because they hadn’t lived through eight years of never making a choice that wasn’t attached to how someone else would react.

  “Thanks for setting this up, Mom,” I finally said, continuing to eat. It was time I snapped out of it, and I knew that the interview tomorrow would help me sort through the tangled mess of thoughts that had plagued me for weeks.

  The table vibrated, and Hail barked at the loud noise until I’d scooped up my phone and swiped the screen. “John?” I asked. “Is everything okay?”

  “I can’t believe you’ll answer his number and not mine,” Dash said, his voice defeated.

  “Dash,” I said, swallowing hard. “Are you all right?”

  “Physically?” He huffed. “I’m fine, Blake. You’ve ignored two of my calls today, and I really need to talk to you.”

  “I wasn’t ignoring you. I promise. My cell was downstairs and I’ve been in bed all day.” I glanced at Mom across the table, who sat with wide, excited eyes as she listened.

  “Did something happen? Did you re-fracture your rib?”

  “No. I . . .” I rested my forehead into my palm. “I didn’t want to get out of bed.” God that sounded so pathetic.

  “Oh.” His voice shifted slightly, his tone saying he knew everything without me having to say the words. “Do you think you’re well enough to chase?”

  “I’m walking fine on my own. Why?” I stood up, the anxiousness too much to take sitting down.

  “There’s a massive supercell gathering outside of OKC.”

  “How the hell did I miss that?” I’d glanced at the radar every day, but I’d mostly been focused on locations farther down the alley where I knew Dash would be. I quickly walked across the room, b
ringing back Dash’s laptop and opening it on the table.

  Dash chuckled as if he could hear me clicking away until I found the cell he referred to. The sound of his laugh inflated my lungs with sweet air I didn’t realize I’d been missing. “Network thinks a chase close to home will be that much more intense because of our connection and worry over the people closest to us. Of course, I wouldn’t miss it regardless.”

  “Right. When is it due to hit?” I asked, scanning the Doppler on my screen.

  “Tomorrow,” he said just as I ascertained as much from the images on the laptop. “John and Paul are already threatening to call dibs on the chase-vehicle the network gave us if you don’t get here soon. I thought we could take it out. It would be safer and less likely for you to re-injure—”

  I sank back into my chair. “Tomorrow?”

  “Yes. Blake, I know things are . . . I know you needed time, but this home.”

  “Tomorrow,” I repeated, my stomach hitting the floor, all excitement over the prospect of chasing again, dying.

  “Is that a problem?”

  “I have a meeting with Oklahoma City News tomorrow.”

  Dash sighed on the other end, and I could almost picture his shoulders dropping, that sharp pain in his emerald eyes as I tore him up once again. My chest tightened, the once easy breath I’d had seconds ago squeezing out of me like my heart was in a vice.

  “Can’t you reschedule?”

  I shook my head before realizing he couldn’t see me. “No. She’s already stalled open auditions as long as she can. It’s tomorrow or never.”

  “So you’re serious about this.”

  “I’m serious about hearing what they have to offer.”

  “I thought . . .” The line went so quiet I thought he might have hung up on me. “I thought this would be something you wanted. I’m sorry I was so off base.”

  “Dash, it is. You weren’t—”

  “I’ve got to go let the guys know they can have the vehicle.”

  “Dash—”

  “Bye, Blake.” He hung up, the quick end stinging every cell in my body. He hadn’t even let me finish. I was going to say that I could come right after the meeting. But he didn’t let me tell him to be careful or that I loved him.

  Maybe his patience with me needing to sort myself out had ended.

  Mom sighed from across the table, and I rubbed tears out of my eyes. “Do you really have to go to this meeting, Blake?”

  “You want me to chase tornadoes now, Mom?” I snapped.

  “You want to. It doesn’t matter what I want.”

  “I don’t know what I want.” I wanted to make Dash happy, but I wanted to do so as a complete woman who knew exactly her course in life. I couldn’t do that if I was only factoring in his needs. That wasn’t healthy. I knew that.

  “And you think this meeting will be the answer to every question you’ve had these last few weeks?”

  I nodded. “Mom, the only things I know for certain are that I love Dash and that my instincts have never let me down. When I go into that meeting, my instincts will tell me if I’m where I’m meant to be. This was never a question of if I was supposed to be with Dash. He owns my heart, but I can’t make this decision based off him. Then I would be no better than the girl I used to be, the one who attached every fucking decision she ever made to the mood, or wishes, of a man.”

  Mom scooted her chair back, rounding the table to wrap her arms around me. She pushed me back, cupping my face in her hands. “Like I said, Blake. Wake the fuck up.”

  My mouth dropped open with her use of the f-bomb.

  She smoothed my hair back, shaking her head. “You aren’t that girl anymore. You haven’t been for a long time. And she has no power over you. There is nothing you can do to slip and revert to her. Do what you have to do, but know that.”

  I swallowed tears and nodded, falling against her shoulder as she held me to her. “I want you to be hyper-aware of the skies tomorrow, Mom.” I glanced at the radar one more time. “I can’t tell one hundred percent where this tornado will hit, yet, but don’t take any chances. If you feel it getting intense, head to the shelter Dash has in his basement, and take Hail with you.” I squeezed her as she nodded. “I love you.”

  “Then eat,” she said, pushing me into my seat and pointing fiercely at the sandwich sitting on my plate.

  “Okay, okay.” I picked up the sandwich and ate and watched the computer like I could slow the storm down with my mind. All the while wishing I could fast forward to tomorrow and finally figure out the rest of my life.

  Dash

  “YOU’RE SURE ABOUT this?” John asked as I sat in my favorite office chair in the lab. If I closed my eyes, I could easily feel Blake on top of me, rocking her hips as she sank onto me. “Dash?” he asked again.

  “Yeah, man. Of course. There is no point in me taking it out without a co-captain.” I shoved the keys to the fortified vehicle the network had developed for us. It was completely tricked out with reinforced steel, four-wheel drive, and thicker-paned windows.

  “But I could navigate for you,” he said, looking at the keys like they might bite him.

  I shook my head, glancing at Paul who was uncharacteristically silent. “You two have been riding together for years. I’m not messing up a perfect dynamic.” When they continued to look at each other like they didn’t know how to speak English, I rolled my eyes. “Guys, I’ve chased alone hundreds of times in the past. This won’t be any different.”

  “But it is,” John said. “Blake should be here.”

  “Well, I can’t force her to be here.” My tone came out much harsher than I’d intended.

  “Why couldn’t she reschedule? This doesn’t seem like her,” Paul added.

  I gripped the back of the chair I leaned against too hard. “Because I’m an asshole, okay?”

  “Sure, but what does that have to do with Blake not chasing today?” Paul asked without missing a beat.

  I sighed, shaking my head. Finally, feeling like there was nothing left to lose, I told them all about the contract stipulations and Blake’s anger about me keeping it from her.

  “Shit, bro,” Paul said once I finished.

  “No wonder she isn’t here,” John said, sinking onto a chair.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “Did you really think she’d come, Dash?”

  I ground my teeth together. “Yeah, John. I did. I thought the prospect of chasing a cell this big, this close to home would be something she couldn’t resist.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall. “Oh, of that I have no doubt, but the terms around it? Come on, how could she make that choice easily?”

  I raked my fingers through my hair.

  “I’m just saying,” John continued when I hadn’t responded to him. “The girl has spent years being forced into situations where her needs and wants weren’t the driving decision making factor. Her ex made sure he came first in every situation . . . that he would end up getting what he wanted even if he had to shit all over her dreams to get it. And now this network contract is putting the same kind of ultimatum on her and she didn’t even get a chance to see it coming. Maybe if she’d been prepped from the beginning she wouldn’t have been so blindsided, but you didn’t give her that chance.”

  Ultimatums, hiding things. I’d been no better than the asshole I loathed. “Fuck. I really did put her in an impossible position.”

  John nodded. “You didn’t mean to. You just didn’t see her side.”

  And add to it all her history with situations like these, no wonder she didn’t instantly drop the interview to chase with us. She needed to make absolutely certain her next move—which would be career deciding—was because of what she wanted and no one else.

  I glanced at John, smiling. I’d always known they had grown close but I didn’t realize how well he understood Blake until that moment.

  “You two didn’t mention to Daniel anything about her interview, di
d you?”

  “Course not,” Paul said, scoffing. “You know we have your back.”

  “Always,” John added.

  I stood up, pacing the length of the desk beside me in the lab.

  “Oh shit,” Paul said. “I’ve seen that look before. What are you going to do?”

  I cut my eyes to them both, a smirk shaping my lips. “First, we’re going to catch this storm. Then, I’m going to fix this. If they want their star to play by the rules, they’re going to have to break some.”

  Blake

  THE INSIDE OF Oklahoma City News was frantic as they prepared for the upcoming storm. People rushed from one place to the next as Ms. Owens took me to the main floor of the building.

  “This is where it all happens,” she said, gesturing to the wide open room. “I’m glad you were able to come for the audition despite the approaching storm.”

  “You know me. Storms never keep me inside,” I said, glancing around the room.

  A circular stage held the news desk I’d seen on TV more times than I could count, but it looked much smaller than I would’ve guessed. It was empty now, but soon the city’s top two newscasters would be relaying weather updates from that very spot, while cells were forming just to the south. I severely hoped they wouldn’t be reporting about damage. A few feet to the desk’s right was the large green screen to show the forecast.

  “That’s your domain,” she said, pointing to the neon-covered wall.

  An array of cameras pointing toward the desk, and some at the screen, took up the middle of the room.

  “Let’s chat over here.” She walked to a small viewing table in the back of the room, and I took a seat across from her. “How are you feeling?” She eyed my ribs.

  “Great,” I said, touching my right side. “Almost completely healed. Doctor says I’m even good to chase, if I want.” I had called him yesterday just to check after Dash had called. Not that I’d decided to go, but I wanted to know I could without hurting myself.

  “That’s good news.” Her brown hair was cut sharp at her chin, and it was the smoothest and shiniest hair I’d ever see. She was in full make-up, too, not the kind you wear going out, but the kind for being on camera. Though I didn’t see her on camera all the time, she seemed to be ready for it at a moment’s notice. I wondered if I would have to put on a similar mask. “Again, I’m so glad you were able to make it out today.”