‘So what’s the plan? How long will you wait for that sign? Couple of years, maybe?’
‘Of course not,’ Sid said indignantly. ‘I have to tell them before they return to Lucknow … I mean before tomorrow, they’re leaving tomorrow.’ He pursed his lips. ‘Maybe I’ll do it right before they leave. Or even better, as they’re leaving, just as I’m bunging them on the return flight. You know … Bye Ma … Bye Papa … I’m getting divorced … Have a safe journey!’
Aditi’s face was stern. He watched to see if the corners of her mouth would twitch. They didn’t.
‘You’re crazy,’ she reiterated firmly. She sighed and shook her head. ‘How are things on other fronts? Work? Promotion and all?’ And as a sly afterthought: ‘Or maybe I should just ask Neha for the updates?’
‘Hey,’ he protested, ‘you know I called you first.’
‘Ya, ya, I know,’ said Aditi. She toyed with the glass of water. ‘So what’s going on with you and her anyway?’
Sid narrowed his eyes and studied her innocent face closely. ‘You were just asking about my promotion. Now you’re asking about Neha. Which one do you want to hear about?’
‘Which one do you want to talk about?’ said Aditi with a little smile.
‘Promotion.’ The smile disappeared from Aditi’s face, but she nodded, trying unsuccessfully to hide her disappointment.
‘Well, it’s great,’ Sid started with enthusiasm, ‘I’m the youngest VP in the company. Not too different a portfolio really, but a nice new office … you know … the works.’ Then his tone became less enthusiastic. ‘People act a little different now, though. A lot of the guys I was friendly with earlier aren’t open with me any more. I used to eat lunch with the seventh-floor bunch, but that doesn’t happen now. And I can’t have lunch with the other VPs, they’re too senior, not to mention … old and boring. So, I’ve been eating with Meenakshi and she keeps asking personal questions, so…’
‘Who’s Meenakshi now?’
‘Arrey, Meenakshi, that HR head of ours. She hardly interacted with me earlier, but ever since I was slated to become VP, she’s been very friendly.’
‘Achcha! Sounds like a pretty obvious kiss-ass.’
‘Well, she’s not that bad.’ Sid tried to defend his new lunch partner. ‘As in, yes, she’s a little taken with hierarchy, but she’s … Well, I wouldn’t say she’s really nice, but she’s not as bad as the rest of the office seems to think. She’s quite good looking, you know. She told me that she was a model during her teens.’
‘Really?’ Now it was Aditi’s turn to look at Sid through narrowed eyes. ‘Bit of a whore, is it?’
‘Oh, come on! People are just jealous of her looks and quick rise in the corporate world. So, they say she has slept her way to the top. Next they’ll say the same about me. And I assure you, I haven’t slept with any of the VPs … at least, not yet!’ Sid could see Aditi opening her mouth to argue, so he quickly continued, ‘So anyway … the job. The job is good. I am thinking about giving it another year here at least. Though I am thinking about moving to Mumbai at some point.’
‘Moving to Mumbai?’ Aditi squealed in surprise. ‘Why do you want to move to Mumbai?’
Their next course arrived – prawns with Pad Thai noodles. Sid waited for the waiter to place their food on the table and leave. He thought he had mentioned the Mumbai thing to her already. He didn’t really feel like delving into an explanation now but he had opened the subject.
‘Well … you know, I just love the city and I feel I’d like to set up on my own there.’ He added, a tad reluctantly, ‘Delhi also kind of has a lot of … uh … memories – not all very good. Anyway, maybe, I’d just like to get out after a while and start over. We’ll see how it goes.’
Aditi took a spoonful of her food, swallowed and said, ‘So does Neha know you’re thinking about moving to Mumbai?’
Neha again, Sid thought with irritation. Why was Aditi so insistent on bringing her up over and over? That was the problem with women – they just never let up.
Sid answered, ‘I’m only thinking about it at the moment … and why should Neha be bothered with my plans anyway?’
Aditi said, ‘Well … I thought since there might be something going on with the two of you, she…’
This probing was getting too much. ‘We went out once, Aditi … with her daughter there. Will you please stop that now? I’m hardly ready for a relationship … and … neither is she, for all I know. So why would you assume anything’s going on between the two of us?’
‘Hey, no.’ Aditi was rarely defensive with Sid; it was usually the other way around. He kind of liked being on this side of the table. ‘It’s just that I was thinking…’ she hesitated, ‘I wouldn’t want her to get hurt, you know?’
‘No one will get hurt, Adu.’ Sid said. ‘There’s nothing to get hurt about anyway. I like her, I think she’s nice and funny, but maybe if I find someone else who’s nicer and funnier, I’ll want to hang out with her.’
‘With her, as in, Neha?’
‘No, with her as in the next Neha, I mean the next person.’
‘So you’re not serious about her?’
‘There’s nothing to be serious about.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Seriously!’
‘So you’re not going to sleep with her?’
‘Adu…’ He glared. ‘What is this?’
‘Look, I’m asking because I’m concerned.’
‘That’s a very personal question.’
‘Oh my god, you slept with her on the first date!’
‘I have not! It wasn’t a…’ He swallowed. ‘This is ridiculous. It’s all in your head. And what’s even more ridiculous is that for the longest time you’ve been wanting to get the two of us together, haven’t you? Your two divorcing buddies! Come on, admit it!’
‘Okay, listen … I thought about that at one point.’ She admitted and then bit her lip before going on. ‘But it wasn’t to get you two married or something. I just thought you have a lot in common and if you became good friends, that would be great. But you should be careful not to raise expectations if you’re not really ready for an actual relationship.’
‘Fine.’ He put his right hand over his heart and held up his left palm. ‘I hereby pledge I won’t sleep with Neha.’ She frowned and he lowered his hands, shaking his head in disgust. ‘Like she’s dying to sleep with me or something. But rest assured, I will resist her nefarious attempts to seduce me and will ensure that nothing shall take away my chastity…’
‘Shut up, Sid!’ She was waving her fork at him in a threatening manner, but there was a smile playing about her lips now. ‘Nefarious attempts. That sounds like that Meenakshi woman. You can go ahead and bonk her, but it can’t be a one-night stand with Neha!’
‘You don’t have to tell me that.’ He chewed his food a bit moodily – he had suddenly lost his appetite. First Aditi wanted them to hang out, now she didn’t want them to hang out. Women were so bloody confusing. Well, he was done trying to figure them out. Out loud, he just said, ‘You know, there’s nothing that’s happened between us. We went out, talked – it was nice. But I’ve got lots on my mind and I don’t have space for anything else.’
‘Okay, fine. My only point is if that’s the case, you may want to just give it a little more distance. Just so that there is no confusion, you know? If you’re so clear you don’t want anything to happen, why encourage it even a little bit by hanging out alone together?’
‘We wouldn’t be alone if we were together.’
‘Sid!’
‘Oh, okay, fine.’ He felt drained. ‘I’ll cut down on the hanging out. It’s no big deal. I haven’t called her anyway after that one time, what with my parents around. And even once they’re gone, I don’t think I’ll be seeing her anytime soon. So don’t worry, nothing’s going to happen.’
Aditi seemed to be satisfied now and nodded with approval, ‘Good boy.’
She helped herself to some prawns an
d noodles and took a bite. It was only because she was looking down at her plate and exclaiming ‘This really is pretty good, Sid!’ that she missed the fleeting expression on his face.
‘Isn’t it?’ said Social and Conversational Sid, who had already carefully composed his face to leave no trace of the look that that had been on it a mere second ago. The most resentful scowl that he had ever directed at Aditi in their association of over twenty years.
‘Good boy,’ the woman had said. Good boy!
7
An Unpleasant Evening
Sid fumbled for a second with his key in the lock before the door gave way and opened. He stuck his head through cautiously and said, ‘Hellooo?’ The house was quiet and the lights were off. Good, good. He let himself in and dropped his laptop bag on the floor. Aah … he heaved a sigh of relief. It was so good to be home … and alone. Sid hadn’t had the place to himself for what felt like ages – his parents had finally left. And Mandira was clearly not home tonight … Perfect.
At this point, a small shadowy figure popped up from behind the sofa and a pair of bright eyes gazed at him from out of the darkness. Sid took a step back just about managing to stop himself from screaming; he gasped, instead, and said something along the lines of ‘Aar-ghwat?’
The figure didn’t reply but neither did it move to attack him. His heart was still racing and in a moment Sid realized what was going on. This was Rukmini, the young girl Mandira had arranged to help with the housework. The girl arrived two days ago and Sid had barely noticed her presence given how busy he had been with his parents till the last evening. Like a chameleon, Rukmini somehow blended into the background. He personally didn’t see the need for a full-timer at this point but, of course, Mandira hadn’t bothered to check with him before springing this little creature on him. Hah … Sid could now forget about having the place all to himself.
This morning, Sid had asked Mandira what the girl would do since they were out most of the day. Mandira’s reaction had been loud and rather unparliamentary. Now that his parents were gone, she didn’t bother with self-restraint, and basically she had asked him to go and fuck himself. ‘Not that you ever lift a finger around the house, what the hell do you know about what it involves? Anyway, it’s just another few months and I’ll take her with me. So just shut up, okay?’
He had hastily just-shut-up-okay and left for work. His hope of peace reigning now that they were waiting to separate had been shattered a while back … and his parent’s visit only made things worse. He felt a surge of anger at all of them. What was everyone’s problem with him anyway? Okay. So his parents still didn’t know about the divorce and Mandira was livid about it. But then, he hadn’t really found that perfect opportunity, had he? Till the last minute of their visit he had been on the verge of telling them, but every time he opened his mouth to break the news to them, he would blurt out something else. On the last day of their visit, Sid tried hard, but it just didn’t happen.
‘Ma,’ he began, and finished with, ‘so you didn’t show me the pictures from India Gate! Come on, where’s the camera?’
‘Hey, Ma …’ Sid swallowed. ‘You have to tell me the recipe for that suji ka halwa … what? Oh yes, I’ll write it down for Mandira.’
And at the airport: ‘Ma…’ This time a blatant lie. ‘I’ll miss you! Don’t forget to call when you land!’
And now they had gone. When Mandira questioned him coldly last night about how they had reacted, Sid hemmed and hawed. He then explained that he was planning to write a letter to them, and that it was always better to explain things in writing since you could think through and articulate your words carefully and appropriately. Moreover, this allowed people time to absorb the news, take stock of their emotions and then formulate the most appropriate and thought-through response.
Mandira’s next words to let him know what she thought about him and his ideas were impressively articulated despite being verbal. His ears became flushed now as he plonked down on Brownie thinking about what she had said. At the time, he had briefly wondered whether she had the right to talk to him like that now that they weren’t a couple. He thought it best not to ask. She had been really mad. No wonder then that she had snapped this morning about the maid thing.
Sid noticed that the said maid was hovering around him and wondered what to do to get rid of her. Hmm … She was supposed to be sixteen but looked more like twelve to him. Could he report Mandira for child labour? Was there a secret helpline for this sort of complaint? He dismissed the thought. He wouldn’t have to bear with her for long. In fact, she could perhaps be made useful.
He told her the first thing that occurred to him. A simple enough request: ‘Rukmini, jaao, mere liye Maggi banao.’ He noticed that Rukmini was shaking her head mournfully. Irritated, he asked her what the matter was.
‘Maggi nahin,’ she said to him in a flat tone.
‘Kya matlab Maggi nahin?’ he said with rising annoyance. ‘Kal hi toh main do packet laaya tha – kisne khaaya Maggi? Kisne?’ He knew there was no reason to get so upset, but the emotionless way in which she informed him about lack of the Maggi got to him. Besides, it was important to get to the bottom of things here. Who had finished his Maggi?
Emotion was now no longer a problem. Rukmini’s face was contorted and she was trembling. It was obvious that she thought she was being accused of having eaten all the Maggi although Sid had actually meant to implicate Mandira. Little Rukmini raised a quivering finger and pointed it straight at Sid’s chest and said ‘Tummmmm…’ in the loudest, most high-pitched rendition that Sid had ever heard of that simple word. Oh yes, that was right. He had cooked both packets for himself last night, clanging the pots and pans in annoyance. It had been right after Mandira’s yelling at him and Rukmini had hovered in the kitchen doorway watching curiously until his dirty looks had driven her away. ‘… mmmmmm…’ She still was pointing at his chest and the sound from her lips now took on an eerie quality and seemed to bounce off the walls and reverberate in his ears.
‘Theek hai, theek hai,’ he said hastily, cutting her off and hurriedly making his way into his bedroom. This girl was plain creepy. He was glad Mandira would take the little banshee when she moved out. Soon. Not soon enough though.
Sid pressed the buttons of his remote, staring blankly at the flashing lights and changing images on the television screen. He waited to get into the state of mindless stupor that made up so many pleasant and numb evenings. But today, his heart just wasn’t in it, even though the privacy that he had yearned for during his parents visit was finally his to enjoy.
Sid unconsciously looked to his left and then to his right as he sat on the edge of the bed. He didn’t have to sit there like that, all stiff any more. He should be lounging around the way he always did when alone. Yet, here he was. Oh God … was it possible that he was actually missing his parents? No … that was a crazy thought. Their depressing presence for so many days had just spoilt the sanctity of his room for him … that was all. He would just have to wait a few days till the memory faded.
Should I call now and tell them? No, he decided. Not right now. Let them settle into their old routine and get comfortable first. He would then call and explain it all. Besides, Sid had to think it through properly.
Today, the whole day long, he had been feeling listless and uneasy. He usually tried to throw himself into his job, but that escape route hadn’t worked thanks to his encounter this morning with bloody Akash.
Akash had sauntered into Sid’s cabin, shouting boisterously, ‘So, young man! How are you doing?’ Akash held out his hand and Sid shook it, saying, ‘Good, good.’ Sid was unenthusiastic, but Akash didn’t notice. He just settled himself on the chair in front of Sid’s desk and said, ‘So! How can I help you today?’
Sid stared at him blankly and said slowly, ‘Boss, you came in to talk to me about something, I think?’
Akash looked confused for a second and then said, ‘Ha ha! Of course, of course. I just wanted to find out how you
’re doing in your new role.’
Sid thought for a moment, and opened his mouth, but Akash piped in, ‘You know what we call your role in the senior VP circle, right? CTO!’
Akash waited for Sid to ask what it meant.
Sid stifled his sigh and thought … all right, I’ll bite. He asked, ‘CTO? That’s … chief technology officer?’
It was Akash’s moment. ‘No! In our parlance it stands for chief toilet officer, you know … leading the toilet cleaners category? Ha ha … so…’ Akash cackled some more with self-satisfied laughter and then paused to see if Sid was showing any signs of joining in.
‘Oh … ha ha,’ Sid said politely. ‘Good one, boss.’ He wanted to groan and roll his eyes, but kept the smile pasted on his face.
Akash was in a jovial mood after his inane joke. ‘So anyway, I wanted to check … It’s a big move up … All okay with your new responsibilities?’
‘Well, actually,’ began Sid, ‘I was hoping you’d tell me how exactly do you see my role having changed ever since I became CTO, I mean Head, Toilets? To be frank, so far, you know, it’s been a few weeks now and I don’t really see the difference between the earlier role and…’
‘Aha! But that’s the thing,’ said Akash, leaning back in the chair so far that Sid was afraid it might break. ‘You need to be able to perceive the difference in the role even when it looks the same. And that’s when you know you’ve actually crossed over into the world of top management.’
Sid watched Akash swaying back and forth in the chair as he tried to decipher what had just been said to him. Sid decided that he wanted that chair to break.
Sid had been so distracted with his parents’ visit until now that he hadn’t brought it up yet with Akash about how it was a little strange that while his designation, office and salary had been upgraded, his work profile stayed just the same. And now, when Akash was bringing up the subject himself he was choosing to play Yoda talking to Luke Skywalker.
‘Boss,’ Sid decided to give it one more shot, ‘how about you telling me from your point of view what you expect from me that’s different in this new role?’
Sorting Out Sid Page 14