Sorting Out Sid

by Lal, Yashodra

  Sid also called his mother. With complete sincerity he insisted now that he was living alone and they were getting old, it was time for them to relocate and live with him. It was his duty and responsibility as a son, and besides, he added in a rush of mumbled words … he wanted to do it.

  He expected his mother to break down with emotion, but to his surprise she had laughed at the suggestion. ‘Sid beta, Papa and I are happy here. This is our home. We just want you to be happy.’ Sid could tell from her tone she was touched but very amused. ‘We would love to come and visit you more often, and for you to come and see us more, but as long as we’re both capable of getting about, we’re staying in Lucknow. Unless, of course…’ Her voice changed to a more concerned, questioning tone. ‘…you need us to come and take care of you?’

  Sid hurriedly assured her that he was fine. He fidgeted guiltily as he informed her that his trips to Southeast Asia were now over and that she should call him whenever she wanted to talk. Sid was aware that his father was listening in to their conversation, from the well-timed grunts and huffy noises that were emanating from the background at the other end of the line. Sid added, ‘And tell Papa I said hello and that he should take care of his health.’ There was another unfriendly grunt and some muttering, but Sid couldn’t help smiling when he hung up. After all, he thought, it’s expected.

  Getting back into the work routine had not been difficult, but Sid had made an important resolve – he liked marketing but he had had it with Akash and those bloody toilet cleaners. Any job had to be better than this … so that was it! In another few months, he decided, he would be out of Kollin’s. Of course, he was going to put in his papers only after the Oktoberfest. And he didn’t feel an ounce of guilt about that plan. In fact, he felt the exact opposite – he looked forward to seeing Akash’s face when he broke the news to him. And that was saying a lot, because never before in his life had he looked forward to seeing Akash’s face.

  Sid parked his car right next to the bright yellow Honda City. Good, it didn’t look like too many people had arrived at the party yet. Sid got out and walked briskly to Neha’s building, his gift for Kippy under his arm. He hoped she would like it – a Kiddy Zoo with little plastic figurines of every conceivable animal. When the weather was nice, he resolved, he would take her to the Delhi Zoo to see the real thing.

  The door was open, and he went in. He paused near the entrance to admire the festive decorations of balloons, streamers and the beautiful, friendly-looking Blue and Green Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey that he could tell Neha had painted herself.

  She had her back to him and was placing some food on the table. She was wearing a sleeveless, black party dress and he noted that she had even got her hair straightened for the occasion. He came up behind her and poked at her sides with his forefingers, murmuring, ‘You look rather “sasky” for a kiddie party, don’t you?’

  She jumped and spun around. It had been a mere joke and Sid did not expect the shocked expression. Actually, he did not expect a different face either – it wasn’t Neha! It was an imposter. A far older version, at that.

  ‘Oh,’ Aditi’s voice floated in from the kitchen door, ‘I see you’ve met Neha’s mom. Aunty, this is Sid.’

  Sid’s ears were hot and he opened his mouth to apologize. But Neha’s mother didn’t look perturbed, in fact, she looked rather pleased. She batted her heavily mascaraed lids at him and murmured, ‘Yes, he’s very … charming.’

  Aditi marched over to Sid, saying, ‘He is, aunty, isn’t he? And just in time to help and make himself useful.’ She put her hand on his shoulder and firmly steered him away from the dining area into the drawing room. Sid glanced back nervously and saw Neha’s mother getting back to her work with the Chips and Dip, but this time with a dreamy smile on her face.

  Sid was about to thank Aditi fervently, but she spoke first, in an urgent whisper, ‘Thank God you’re here. Neha invited Kapil and he insisted on bringing the return gifts. She told him on the phone to get fourteen, and he’s brought forty, and now they’re arguing about whose fault it was. Maybe they should have stuck to texting.’

  Sid saw Neha and Kapil in a corner, standing and scowling at each other.

  ‘Hello, people,’ Sid called. Neha turned to him with a tight smile. Kapil eyed him suspiciously at first and then nodded although he didn’t go as far as a smile. Sid continued, ‘I hear there are lots of gifts! That’s great because I need to use them all as prizes for the kids when I’m doing the games! Can never give away too many prizes, eh?’

  Immediately, the tension in the air started to dissolve. Neha gave him an open grin, saying, ‘Thanks for agreeing to do this, Sid. I know you’ll handle them very well.’

  Sid cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat. ‘You bet! Bring them on! Every kid loves Uncle Sid. Hey, that can be my slogan!’

  They all laughed and even Kapil looked less sullen. Sid, Aditi and Neha busied themselves with final touches to the party decorations and, after a few minutes of watching them, Kapil got into the act and started blowing balloons in a perfectly civil manner.

  Two hours later, Sid sat on the drawing-room sofa, his head lolling back. His throat hurt from all the shouting. After about the third game, he had given up trying to bring about any semblance of order. There were children of all ages, from two- to nine-year-olds and it had been impossible to get them to follow any rules. But Sid kept up with their energy levels till the very end, and the games had been the biggest success of the party.

  Each kid had gone home with about four gifts and no one bothered to keep track of which were prizes and which were return gifts. By the end of it, no one seemed to care either. Sid had lost his patience only once, with a boy who kept pushing the others around. Sid had flicked his ear lightly to tell him off. The boy had gone crying to his stout mother and Sid was glad that the kid had been rather incoherent in his description of ‘That Big Boy Who Hit Me.’

  He had spent the rest of the party hiding from the stout mother who was stomping around in search of the big boy. He had simultaneously also been trying to avoid Neha’s mother who kept eyeing him coquettishly, trying to make conversation with him. Sid knew she hoped to be told again how sasky she was, so he had kept skipping away from her at the slightest excuse.

  Now it was just Neha, Aditi, Krish and him who were left behind to clean up. Kapil had been amongst the last to leave and had even held out his hand to Sid for a goodbye handshake. Sid could sense a new grudging approval in his manner. Maybe it was just Sid’s imagination working overtime but perhaps Kapil was almost glad that Sid was around for Neha and Kippy. Who knew?

  From the way he hugged Kippy, a bit awkwardly, and murmured that he would be seeing her again next Sunday, Sid knew that Neha and Kapil had finally reached some sort of an understanding. It was good, Sid thought. Kippy had the right to know her real dad – even though Sid still privately thought Kapil looked mildly loony.

  He opened his eyes as Neha lowered herself gingerly onto the sofa next to him. He asked, ‘Had fun?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, rubbing her feet. ‘My feet are killing me, of course. But it was great. Even having Kapil here wasn’t so bad. And my mom didn’t criticize a thing!’ Her voice took on a wondering tone. ‘She was in such a good mood, today. Strange! Usually, she’s a little edgy about things being perfect at parties.’

  Sid wisely refrained from providing Neha his theory about her mother’s good mood. Neha continued, ‘I’m just so glad Kippy had fun. It’s really nice that she could spend the day with her friends.’ She flashed him a warm smile. ‘And me, with mine!’

  He grinned back at her. Neither of them saw Aditi who had come up to ask Neha something. She stood hesitantly behind them. After about two seconds, she quietly tiptoed back into the kitchen. Krish was piling dishes into the sink and she came up next to him. Aditi closed her eyes and stood on tiptoe. He looked surprised but then grinned in his easy, understanding way and bent down to give her a quick kiss. They proceeded to finish w
ashing the dishes together.

  ‘So, I’ve got a return gift for you too,’ Neha told Sid after Kippy had been put to bed, and Aditi and Krish had left.

  ‘Really? I bet it’s one of Kapil’s forty.’

  ‘Nope,’ Neha said, lightly smacking him on the arm. ‘This one’s totally from me.’

  She got off the sofa and disappeared into her studio and came out dragging a large, flat, square package. It was neatly wrapped, but Sid instinctively knew what it was.

  He drew in a sharp breath. ‘It’s the Gate, isn’t it?’

  She nodded, smiling at him and pushed it towards him. ‘I know you need new stuff to do up your place. I thought you could use it somewhere.’

  ‘Neha…’

  ‘Seriously. I decided to give it to you a long time back. I was just waiting for the right moment.’

  Sid didn’t have anything to say. ‘An original Neha, wow!’ he murmured and she smiled, rolling her eyes.

  He had a fleeting thought which he immediately recognized as inappropriate. He shot a glance across the room and then looked back at Neha in a guilty manner. He reached out to take the painting from her hands saying, ‘Thanks so much.’ But she had noticed.

  ‘What is it, Sid?’

  ‘Nothing, nothing,’ he assured her, ‘it’s just too much, you know, it’s…’

  But his glance at the far wall had given him away. She followed his gaze, and then smiled knowingly. ‘You want the beer painting instead, don’t you?’

  ‘No, no…’

  ‘It’s okay, you can have that, too.’

  ‘Really?’ He was unable to hide his excitement. He placed the package carefully against a chair and then practically skipped over to envelop her in a hug. ‘It’ll be perfect for my bar area…’

  When he pulled back, he saw her face was as amused as it was pleased. ‘You know … you’re a bit of an idiot, Sid.’

  ‘Yes.’ He had to admit it was a fairly accurate description. He continued in a light, cheerful tone, ‘But I’m working on it.’ He gave her a meaningful look. ‘I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.’

  She smiled and he continued, his tone more serious now, ‘I’m still … sorting myself out. You know? Work in progress.’

  Neha stepped forward and slipped her hand through his. ‘That’s okay, Sid. We’re all still figuring it out.’

  They stood there for a while, in a silence more comfortable than ever before. Sid knew she was right, of course. They were all still figuring it out. And that was fine.

  Things were just as they were meant to be.

  Acknowledgements

  My heartfelt thanks to:

  My sister, Gitanjali Lal, for her intelligent, early feedback that helped to shape this story.

  My friend, Kunal Ganju, for his consistent encouragement at crucial moments as I was writing this book.

  The HarperCollins team – Karthika VK, Shantanu and Ramona from Editorial; Arijit and Shuka from Design; Sameer, Neeraj, Simran, Arcopol, Ayushi and Natasha from Sales & Marketing. These guys rock.

  My children – Peanut, Pickle and Papad – who learned that even when Mama was tapping away furiously at the computer in her pajamas, it still fell in the category of ‘working’.

  My father-in-law, Papaji, for his practical and sound advice about life, work and everything. His mere presence at home has a wonderful calming effect.

  My husband, Vijay Sharma, who has been such a great support in so many ways that it’s impossible to actually list them.

  Finally, there’s good ol’ Mother – Chitra Gouri Lal, who will one day have a book written about her, perhaps even with her permission. Just kidding, Ma. A little.

  Just Married Please Excuse

  Caution! Marriage Ahead…

  Yashodhara, a quick-tempered gal from the big city, is hitched to Vijay, a laidback desi boy from a small town – in one word, Trouble! The young couple must learn to adjust to married life and to each other – whether it is Yashodhara’s ‘tamper tentrums’ or Vijay’s foot-in-mouth syndrome – with a little help from their idiosyncratic staff, Zarreena and Vinod, their nutty friend Vivi and, of course, their respective families.

  With the unexpected arrival of baby Anoushka, aka Peanut, the battles escalate, fuelled by their vastly divergent views on raising a child. Will their many differences – so endearing at the start of their romance – actually turn out to mean that they are just incompatible? Will they ever manage to agree on anything? Or have they just bitten off more than they can chew?

  A fresh and honest take on marriage and parenthood, this is a story of self-discovery that will have you laughing out loud – and sympathizing wholeheartedly with its quirky and likeable cast of characters.

  Read sample chapters on www.justmarriedpleaseexcuse.com

  About the Author

  Yashodhara Lal is a graduate from IIM-Bangalore and has over twelve years of experience in marketing, mostly at Unilever and the HT Media group. She is also a trained dance-fitness instructor and a yoga enthusiast, amongst other things.

  Yashodhara lives in Gurgaon with her husband Vijay, their three children Peanut, Pickle and Papad, and her wise and wonderful father-in-law, Papaji. You can check out her entertaining blog at yashodharalal.com, find her on Facebook.com/yashodharalal, or on Twitter.com/yashodharalal.

  Her bestselling first book, Just Married, Please Excuse, is a hilarious account of life in the first few years of marriage. Sorting Out Sid is her second book.

  First published in India in 2014 by

  HarperCollins Publishers India

  Copyright ©Yashodhara Lal 2014

  ISBN: 978-93-5029-691-2

  Epub Edition © January 2014 ISBN: 978-93-5029-692-9

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  Yashodhara Lal asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

  This is a work of fiction and all characters and incidents described in this book are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved under The Copyright Act, 1957. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins Publishers India.

  Cover design: Arijit Ganguly

  Cover images: Marta Marti nez, Facebook.com/Apna.M and Shutterstock.com

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