Hot-Shot Doc, Secret Dad (Cowboys, Doctors...Daddies)

by Lynne Marshall

  “Nice car,” she said lamely.

  “Thanks.”

  True to his word, the restaurant was within ten minutes of her house, and had to be new, or built since she’d left home, because she definitely would have remembered this place. Nestled in and blending into the side of a hill, with a view from the parking lot of the town of Cattleman Bluff in the valley below, the restaurant looked chic. She didn’t remember her hometown doing chic when she was growing up. The entire front was glass, and the lights inside revealed a first-class restaurant with white tablecloths, candles, flowers and customers, already filled to capacity.

  “Looks like we might have a wait,” she said.

  Trevor helped her out of the SUV and shook his head. “They always reserve a booth for my father.”

  Ah, so that was how the other half lived. As tense as Julie felt about having dinner with Trevor, the aroma of grilled meat made her stomach juices kick in. Red wine, baked potato, garden salad and a petite cut, not to mention some sort of freshly baked bread, seemed like the best meal in the world at the moment.

  Then she looked into the dark and determined eyes of Trevor Montgomery just before he guided her toward the restaurant entrance with a large and warm hand at the small of her back, and her tingly reaction forced her to wonder if she’d be able to eat at all.

  *

  Trevor poured a second glass of wine for Julie, since she seemed to enjoy the first so much. Hell, from the looks of her, she was enjoying everything on her plate, too. His father’s booth was in a cozy corner toward the back, on the opposite end to the kitchen. Candlelight and quiet music ruled the evenings at Rustler’s Hideaway, which was owned by a chef and his wife from New York City looking for a quiet life in a big and mostly empty state like Wyoming. Last census, their population was just over half a million.

  He’d about finished his rib eye and had yet to bring up the main topic of conversation—James. Instead he’d been distracted enjoying Julie’s large warm eyes with the candlelight dancing in them, and studying her amazingly unruly hair as she devoured her meal. But he cautioned himself about letting down any walls where she was concerned. Since Kimberley had done her number on his head, he’d kept his women close and his heart at a distance. Worked for him, if not the ladies. Life was just easier that way, and, what with his father’s illness and the responsibility of the ranch and medical clinic, he had enough on his plate to keep him far too busy for romance.

  Since Julie seemed to be letting him set the direction of their conversation, so far they’d only discussed her first two weeks on the job. He’d dropped in tidbits about the changes in their hometown in the past few years, but mostly praised her for being an excellent clinician. She’d remained curiously quiet.

  The waiter, who seemed to sense their every need, appeared at the table. “Dessert or coffee, Dr. Montgomery?”

  Trevor looked to Julie, who spoke for herself. “Just coffee, please. Decaf.”

  “I’ll have the same.”

  The instant the waiter left the table, scolding himself for not doing so before now, Trevor brought up James. “Tell me more about James. Now that he’s a preteen. What he likes. What he does.” Hating not knowing anything about the kid who was his flesh and blood, he shook his head and raised his shoulders. “Everything.”

  Julie put down her fork, leaving the bite of potato uneaten, her eyes dancing in the candlelight. It was so obvious how much she loved her son, and that drove the painful wedge in his gut a little deeper as he realized the boy was a total stranger to him.

  “Why is he at the military academy?”

  That flash of life in her eyes at the opportunity to talk about her son dimmed when he mentioned the new school. She briefly went inside herself as though forming the thoughts she’d share, then that bright flash reappeared.

  “He’s a great kid. Not that I’m biased or anything, but honestly he is.” She smiled and it soothed the sudden cramp in Trevor’s stomach. “He’s smart and inquisitive. And funny, oh, gosh, he can be silly, a regular mimic.” She ran the tip of her finger around the nearly empty wine glass. “He’s good at math, too, and a voracious reader. Likes adventure stories. Let’s see—” she glanced toward the vaulted wood ceiling with the antler chandeliers “—he loves to play video games, and hasn’t seemed to find his favorite sport yet. Though he’s coordinated and good at just about everything he plays.” Her eyes came to rest on Trevor’s, and a feeling he’d forgotten since his early dating days snaked through his body. Infatuation. It should have surprised him, but, glancing at Julie with her pert mouth and expressive eyes, he found that it didn’t.

  “Last summer my friend, Mark, sent him to camp at a small farm in Malibu. It lasted two weeks, and when he came home he was so excited, he couldn’t stop talking about it. He loved taking care of the piglets, and how he got to see a foal born.” She laughed like bubbling water, but something quickly troubled her as shadows closed in on her smile. She seemed to fight it off. “He said it was gross but really interesting at the same time. Oh, and you’ll be glad to know he fell in love with the horses on that farm.”

  Trevor guessed she thought about saying “like father, like son” but thought better of it. He also wondered who this friend was who bankrolled the camp, but forced himself to let that pass…for now. “Then I’d love to bring him out to the ranch sometime, maybe take him for a ride. Does he ride?”

  She hesitated. “He has, but not that often. Look, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

  “Bringing him to my ranch? Letting him meet his grandfather?” Hell, would he have the guts to tell Dad who the boy belonged to? But wouldn’t it be good for the boy to get to know his father? Just what were they supposed to do? How should they handle this situation? More importantly, would Julie let him have any say in it? Until now, she sure as hell hadn’t, and it still rankled.

  “James is going through a rough time now. Last September when school started, he couldn’t wait to tell his friends what he did over the summer, but they laughed at him and called him farmer after that, and he went all quiet about it. The next thing I know he’s hanging out with a new bunch of boys who seemed like brats, and he started dressing different and acting different.” She cast a mixed-up look Trevor’s way, a confused and worried mother’s expression. He remembered seeing it on his own mother’s face during his teens, too. “It was like night and day and I never saw it coming. Then he got arrested for shoplifting and…well, that’s when I found out a few more things and when I decided to get out of Dodge and bring him home.”

  Home. The word felt good to hear coming from Julie. Her admitting she still thought of Cattleman Bluff as home gave him hope, and he wasn’t even sure why. By the distant thoughtful expression on her face, Trevor suspected there was more to the story than what Julie had told. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but being called farmer by peers didn’t seem like a terrible enough issue to send a boy in an entirely different direction. He wondered just what those other things that she had found out about James were. Maybe he’d get to the bottom of that once he met his son.

  His son. Whew, every time he thought that he needed to sit back and let the shock roll over him for an instant. He was a dad. And he hadn’t even met his kid. Man, oh, man, would the ache at having never known that until now ever stop?

  The fact Julie seemed hesitant about bringing James into his life also twisted in his gut. He finally decided to ask the question sitting like a rock in the center of his chest.

  “How come you never told me about the boy? Maybe not at first, but at any one point over all these past twelve years?”

  Julie’s chin shot up. The waiter brought the coffee, and for the next couple of moments she let herself be distracted by pouring cream and sugar into her cup. Then suddenly, as if a shot of determination had been served in the bone-china cups, she nailed him with those unbelievably sexy eyes.

  “What would you have done if you knew you were going to become a father with a girl you
hardly knew, when you were on your way to med school?”

  Now it was Trevor’s turn to stare at his coffee, to search the dark liquid for answers he didn’t have, but still wished he’d had the chance to find out about. He lifted his cup and took a short drink. “I honestly don’t know what I would have done back then. But you had twelve different years to tell me, yet you chose not to. I’d like to think I might have done the right thing at any point in my son’s life.”

  “The right thing? You mean, marry someone you don’t know because you knocked me up?” She said it in a hushed voice, glancing around at the nearby booths for any sign of strained ears.

  “Not a great way to put it.” He also lowered his voice.

  “It’s the truth. That’s what it would have amounted to if you’d gone the honor route. It would have messed up your career and made you miserable. Even later, I didn’t know if you were married and had your own family or not. I never would have been able to trust that you cared about me. I would have been miserable, might never have become a nurse. No, Trevor, that initial choice wouldn’t have been the best one.”

  She recited her reasons as if someone else had handed them to her. As if she’d convinced herself they were sufficient and he should accept them without question. He took another sip and ground his molars, knowing what he was about to say wouldn’t go over well, but needing to say it anyway. Especially since he’d been thinking about it all week. “It would have been nice to at least have had a choice in the matter.” He said it levelly, without emotion, but how many times during the past two weeks had he yelled it at the sky when it was just him and Zebulon on the prairie, or when he was in the shower with the water running full blast? Damn it! “But you never gave me a shot.”

  Julie took a quick drink, sloshing coffee over the rim of her cup when she set it back in the saucer. Her chin, if it was possible, went even higher, and her lips tightened into a straight line. Yet she didn’t utter another sound. He didn’t have to yell it; he’d hit a raw nerve anyway.

  After a moment’s reprieve, they drank more of their coffee in silence.

  “I’d like to go home now,” she said, not sounding angry, just resigned, and putting her cloth napkin on the table as proof.

  Trevor had a million more questions to ask, but figured he’d have to dole them out little by little as he gained more of Julie’s trust. He raised his hand and the waiter was there with the check quicker than it took him to swallow the last of his coffee.

  “I’m going to the ladies’ room,” Julie said as he dug in his pants pocket for his wallet.

  “Okay, I’ll meet you in the lobby.” Whatever friendly moments they’d shared over dinner had vanished with his one honest remark.

  The drive back to her house was even more awkward. Good thing it only took ten minutes, which seemed more like an hour. But when he pulled up to her house, it was completely dark as she’d left it, and there was no way he’d let her walk to her porch or go inside in the dark. He stopped the engine and got out of the SUV before she could protest, strode with determination around the front of the car and managed to get to the passenger door in time to help her out. Sure it annoyed her, he could tell by the way her shoulders straightened when he took her arm, but he didn’t care. He was taught to be a gentleman, and he’d be one regardless of what she wanted. Even if he hadn’t been thirteen years ago. Especially since he hadn’t been back then.

  When she stumbled on something while walking up the shadowed path to her porch, he helped her regain her balance, and he heard a faint “thank you” in response.

  Trevor waited for Julie to open her door, fumbling in the dark for the keyhole, and then searching for the light switch just inside. The sudden burst of yellow illumination made him squint.

  “So thank you for dinner, Trevor. And thank you for giving me a job.” Her pride would be the death of her, and he was more determined than ever to tell her exactly what he had in mind. He’d had two weeks to think about it.

  “Julie, just hear me out a minute, would you?”

  She went still and gazed at him with suspicious eyes, her hand soundly on the doorknob for a quick exit.

  “I want you to know a few things. First off, I totally respect you as a nurse practitioner. The way you’ve picked up everything these past two weeks has been remarkable. And until things went sour back there at the restaurant, I really enjoyed having dinner with you. It’s great to see you after all these years, to find out a little about your life. From what I can tell, you’re an amazing woman.”

  She raised a hand in protest. He was probably overdoing it now, but he didn’t give a damn if he was going overboard or not, he’d made up his mind to tell it like it was and by the heavens he was going to. Besides, he’d made a snap decision beyond his plans for James—this one about her—while she was in the restroom back at the restaurant and there was no way he was leaving until he’d laid it out.

  “Here’s the deal. It’s probably the dumbest thing in the world to socialize with one of my employees, but I’d like to do this again sometime. Not in the dating sense, but as colleague to colleague. I’d like to get to know you better, and to learn more about James.” She started to say something, but he cut her off by lifting his hand, not wanting to stop until he’d gotten everything out he needed to say. “I’ll leave it up to you when or if I get to meet him. I’ll honor your decision even though it may be hard. Just keep in mind, I want to meet that boy, and I want him to know I’m his father. I want a relationship with him.”

  He put his hand on top of hers on the doorknob, forcing her to look into his eyes before he told her the snap decision he’d just made back at the restaurant. “I’d also like a chance to make up for the lousy start we had thirteen years ago. I was attracted to you back then, and, now that I know more about you, I’ll be damned if I’m not still drawn to you. Not in a sexual way, but as a whole person. My colleague.”

  Maybe that wasn’t entirely true, but that was all he could offer for now, and he wanted to make sure she understood he wasn’t coming on to her in any way, shape or form. That he was, in all sincerity, wanting to know her, the woman she was now, at this exact point in her life, not that sexual fantasy he carried around from a long time ago. If he was coming on to her, it would be from a whole different angle, that was for sure. He wasn’t in any place to want more these days anyway. Kimberley had messed him up more than he cared to let on. If Julie wanted professional, he’d stick by it, but couldn’t they be friends, too? It seemed logical and safe for both of them. Yet, seeing her under the stars and…

  “Trevor, I told you about our son because of my obligation to him. I’m happy to tell you about James. I put him in the military school because I believe he needs male role models, and I can’t give him that. I’m not sure when the time will be right to introduce the two of you, but I agree you deserve a chance to meet him. I can’t guarantee what will happen after that.”

  “Sounds reasonable.” At least it was a first step. They were both being so adult about their situation, it almost made him queasy.

  “But I’m really not sure about the rest of your proposition.”

  He cocked his head and grimaced. “Not the best word.”

  “You know what I mean. I’m not sure about us seeing each other socially.”

  “Dating?”

  “Is that really what you want to do?”

  “To be honest I don’t have a clue what it is I want.”

  “We’re practically strangers.”

  “Exactly my point, so let’s work on becoming unstrangers.”

  She glanced at the sky again. “That’s way too uncomplicated for me.” She gave a halfhearted grin.

  “And that’s how I like things.” Especially where women were concerned. No entanglements seemed to rule the day. Yet regarding Julie, he was as confused as a lost bull. If he wasn’t interested in getting involved with any women, why was he making an exception for her?

  Well, duh, Montgomery—maybe because she�
�s the mother of your son.

  She nailed him with a worried glance. “I can’t risk my job.”

  “And I’m not asking you to.” He raised his hand as if taking an oath. “I promise not to let our seeing each other socially as colleagues and potential friends interfere with your employment. I’m just asking you to give me a chance, being that I’m your son’s father and all.”

  Silence stretched over the next few moments as she worried her lips and fidgeted with the keys. He soon realized he held his breath.

  “Oh, man, this is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, but,” she said, “well, actually, the dumbest thing I ever did was to get knocked up at seventeen, but okay.”

  Something about the way she said it reminded him of the night she’d asked him to dance. “Will you dance with me?” He remembered thinking This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, but… On a rush of sweet memories from one night thirteen long years ago, that first summer he’d noticed Julie Sterling—the brand-spanking-new high school graduate, and virgin, as he’d later found out—Trevor let his logical idea slip through his brain cells and went straight for his gut reaction. To hell with being friends. He ducked his head, then moved in to kiss the woman on her doorstep.

  A fleeting kiss.

  He didn’t go for sexy or overpowering or anything beyond a sweet meeting of their lips for old times’ sake. Even so, the chaste kiss surprised him—how soft her lips were, how right they felt, how she hadn’t resisted, how kissing her opened a flood of tender feelings he’d kept tucked away since Kimberley had dropped him just before graduating med school.

  And that was the end of that kiss. No way could he set himself up with hopes and dreams only to get kicked to the curb again. These days when he kissed a woman it was only because they were about to engage in adult entertainment. And he liked it that way.