Intensity

by S. Briones Lim

  “What the hell?” Celine’s voice raised a few octaves. At that point she didn’t even care that it was almost two in the morning and the world was fast asleep. “You’re the one stuck on this whole ‘I’m dating a celebrity’ bullshit,” Celine accused, making a face. “You don’t even realize that Cash is some man whore who is probably just using you! Why else do you think I’ve been watching your back all the time?”

  “Since when have you been watching my back?” Ruthie exclaimed furiously. She gritted her teeth and trembled in anger.

  Celine placed her hands on her hips, frowning. “Um, let’s see. The time I tried to save you from making a drunken fool of yourself in New York. All those times I kept warning you that I didn’t trust him.”

  “Fuck off, Celine. You were too busy loving the attention Brian gave you to even notice me.” Ruthie sniffed.

  “That’s not true!” Celine shouted back.

  Ruthie allowed a sharp giggle to escape her lips. “But isn’t it? You already have such a great guy, Celine. You have Noah! The one time I have a great guy, you try to ruin it for me!”

  “I’ve tried to keep my distance, Ruthie! I tried not to mess with you, but every time I see Cash’s beady little eyes looking at you like you were some piece of meat, I knew I had to speak up.” She narrowed her eyes angrily. “Have you forgotten who’s always been there for you whenever your heart is broken? Who’s always there to pick up the broken pieces? Who’s the one you call because you’ve made a bad decision? It’s always been me!” She pointed to her chest.

  “Oh, but you’re such a relationship expert, right? If that’s the case, what’s with the wedding jitters you were talking about? What’s with all the flirting you and Brian are doing?” Ruthie argued back.

  “I wasn’t flirting!” Celine replied sharply.

  “You want to point fingers at bad decision making? Why don’t we look at you?” Ruthie yelled. “One guy wasn’t good enough, was it? You had to have Brian, too, didn’t you? If you think Cash was acting like a whore, you weren’t that far behind! Bet Noah doesn’t know, does he? So why don’t you go over to your fiancé and tell him how Brian slept over in your hotel room—”

  “WHAT?”

  Both girls turned slowly. Noah stood next to Ruthie’s crushed bumper, fuming. His hands were clenched together so tightly that the whites of his knuckles were showing. He trembled slightly, jaw muscles clenching.

  “Noah!” Celine gasped. She ran over to him just as he turned to walk back to his car across the street. “I can explain! It’s not what it sounds like! It wasn’t like that.”

  He stopped walking and spun around. “What was it like, then? Look me in the eye and tell me that Brian didn’t sleep in your hotel room in New York.”

  Celine opened her mouth, but no words came out.

  “I thought so,” Noah grunted, turning back around.

  Celine grabbed at his arm, clutching onto him. He basically dragged her along despite her efforts to pull him to a stop. Tears began to well up in her eyes. “He was just making sure I was okay. I had a little too much to drink that night, but nothing happened! I swear!”

  Noah turned his head slightly and cried out, “But why did you have a lot to drink? You never drink! Why was he there to make sure you were okay and WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE WEDDING JITTERS? I thought you were happy, Celine!” A sheen of water coated Noah’s eyes, but no tears fell. He was too angry to cry.

  “I was—am happy!” Celine insisted. Whereas Noah couldn’t cry, tears began flowing down her cheeks. One by one, drops of tears fell to the ground as she tried to prevent him from stepping in the car.

  “Is that the reason why you made me go to that dumb party? So you could decide which of us you wanted?”

  “No! No! It wasn’t like that! Noah, I love you! Please listen to me!” she pleaded.

  “No, Celine. Let me choose for you. Go back to Brian and be happy with him then,” Noah said quietly. He freed his arm from Celine’s grip and jumped into the car. Her face scrunched up as she succumbed to sobs, watching Noah’s car screech away.

  “Noah!” she sobbed. Her voice cracked as she called his name. “Noah! Come back!” She stumbled forward, grabbing onto her chest. Her sobs were overpowering and she felt as if she lost all ability to breathe.

  “Celine?” She felt Ruthie’s hand lightly touch her shoulder.

  “YOU!” Celine screamed, pushing her friend away. “You knew he was there all along, didn’t you?”

  Ruthie stepped back. “Of course not! I didn’t hear him coming! You were the one that called him, remember?”

  “Are you happy now? Are you happy now?” Celine yelled, throwing her arms up into the air. She was panting heavily and was surprised she hadn’t yet passed out.

  The neighbor’s house lit up. The second story window opened and a rather angry looking gentleman stuck his head out the window. “Shut up or I’m calling the cops!”

  Ruthie rolled her eyes and turned back to her friend. “Do you want to take this inside?” she asked.

  Celine stepped back, bearing her teeth. “You know what? Fuck you, Ruthie! You thought I was being selfish? Well, there’s your answered prayer! There’s nothing left for me to be selfish about! There’ll be no wedding for me to worry about anymore, and as stupid as your accusation was—I definitely don’t have two guys!”

  “Celine!” Ruthie pleaded, taking a breath. “I’m sorry! If I had known he was standing there, I would never have said anything! I was just angry!”

  “Don’t ever talk to me again,” Celine said quietly, turning away. She wiped away her tears and couldn’t bear to look at her friend.

  “You don’t mean that!” Ruthie gasped, taking a step towards her.

  “Just—don’t.” Celine shook her head and began walking down the street. She ignored the barks of neighboring dogs and the pain of her screaming muscles, which were still sore from the crash.

  “Celine! Where are you going?” Ruthie called out, attempting to run after her. She quickly grabbed at her Louboutins and threw them on her front lawn, running down the street barefooted.

  “SHUT UP!” her neighbor yelled, but once again Ruthie ignored him. She easily caught up with Celine, running out in front of her to block her way.

  “I told you to leave me alone,” Celine said. Without looking at her, Celine sidestepped Ruthie and continued making her way down the street.

  “It’s dangerous out here! Come inside! Noah’s just mad, this will blow over in the morning,” Ruthie pleaded.

  “I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!” Celine turned and glared at her friend. Her thick eyelashes framed the intense look in her eye. The anger—even hatred—in her eyes was enough to make Ruthie stop in her tracks. It was a look she’d never seen on Celine before.

  Celine continued down the street, unsure of her destination. She took the first turn she could, leaving a silent Ruthie behind.

  Everything felt as if it were falling apart. Her friendship, her love life were in broken pieces. Everything was ruined. Usually Celine called Ruthie in times of turmoil, but what would she do now that Ruthie was the cause of it?

  Biting back her cries, Celine fished for her phone and began dialing quickly. She leaned against a nearby tree and succumbed to a fit of sobs. Her shoulders heaved up and down as she listened to the ringing phone. After the fourth ring she finally heard someone answer.

  “Hello?”

  “I’m sorry to call you so late,” she whispered. “I just didn’t know who else to call. Can you pick me up?”

  ***

  The steam rose from the bright blue mug, dancing through the air in wisps. The smell of green tea hit her nostrils, but Celine ignored the fishy scent. Blowing her nose, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. How did her perfect life turn into shambles in just one night?

  “Hey, how are you holding up?” Melissa looked down at her little sister and began smoothing out Celine’s hair. “Did you get any sleep?”

  Celine wrap
ped herself inside Melissa’s oversized sweater. All her clothes were either at Noah’s house or Ruthie’s and she had no choice but to borrow anything Melissa had to offer. She shook her head sadly. “No.”

  “Did you try to call Noah?” Melissa sighed.

  “No,” she repeated. “He hates me.”

  “He doesn’t hate you.” Melissa laughed softly. She pulled up a chair beside her sister, balancing her fourteen-month-old on her lap. The baby cooed and reached for her aunt, but Celine wasn’t having it. She looked away.

  “I think you should try calling him,” Melissa advised with a somewhat snippy tone. “It was all a misunderstanding, right?”

  Celine blinked. “Yeah, it was. What’s with the tone?”

  Melissa took a breath and leaned forward, placing her hand on Celine’s arm. “Answer me this, are you happy with Noah?”

  “Of course!” Celine answered, leaning back into her seat. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  With pursed lips, Melissa asked, “Then what’s the deal with Brian?”

  “There was no deal.” Celine huffed, eyeing her niece. She couldn’t help but feel a bit envious of the tiny baby. She was too young and too innocent to have screwed anything up in her life just yet. Celine swallowed, lifting her chin. “He was just an old friend.”

  “An old friend, hmm?” Melissa shook her head with amusement. “Celine, you hate dressing up. What was with that ensemble last night? What’s with spending quality time with Brian alone? What’s with—”

  “I get it, I get it.” Celine exhaled. She rubbed her eyes and sighed. “I guess it looked bad, huh?”

  “Yup,” Melissa answered with a nod of her head. She narrowed her eyes curiously. “Why’d you do it? Do you still have feelings for Brian?”

  Celine didn’t answer.

  “Celine?”

  Biting her lip, she attempted to answer. “No. I don’t know. I don’t think so?”

  “Celine.” Melissa’s voice was stern.

  “I think this wedding stuff is just getting to me.” She reached out and ran her finger over the rim of her mug, trying to focus on anything but Melissa. But Melissa was all she had right now. She needed her big sister’s advice no matter how strained their relationship had always been. With a tilt of her head, Celine asked, “When you got married to Dale, were you nervous?”

  “Terrified.” Melissa laughed. “It’s a big change; it really is. The thing is, it’s a good change. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have this little bugger.” She pressed a sloppy kiss on her daughter’s chubby cheek, eliciting a squeal of delight.

  Celine smiled softly. “Yeah, well, I guess I won’t have a little bugger to look forward to,” she whispered.

  Melissa pinched her daughter’s cheek and snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. You and Noah will make up. I promise.”

  Celine leaned her elbow against the table and rested her chin into her hands. She gazed out the kitchen window, watching the cars pass. One by one, different vehicles drove by; none of which were Noah. She looked down sadly, watching the steam rise from her cup. In a quiet tone, she whispered, “Honestly, I don’t think we will.”

  Chapter 45

  Four days had passed and still no change. The duplex felt empty. What once felt like home was just an empty box, devoid of light, laughter, and comfort.

  Ruthie flipped through the channels, mindlessly watching an infomercial about the “Best Mop Known to Man.” Every broken heart she ever felt had nothing on what it felt like to lose her best friend. Any hope of them making up flew out the window when Melissa showed up at her doorstep, asking for her sister’s things.

  BZZZ.

  Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of her vibrating phone. It would totally be in Celine’s personality to text instead of call. She hurriedly grabbed the lavender phone, frowning when she spotted Cash’s text.

  Hey babe, you free?

  Ruthie pressed her lips together. Cash hadn’t once contacted her since the night of Brian’s housewarming. Since the night everything fell apart.

  It didn’t take her long to figure out that Cash blanched at the fact she assumed they were dating. He was the typical (immature) man. Guess a few hit records didn’t change that fact. Why would he be texting now? Was there some unspoken Bro Code similar to the infamous “three day rule” that called for leaving a girl hanging for a few weeks? If it weren’t for her job, Ruthie would probably have gone crazy with uncertainty.

  After her fight with Celine, Ruthie felt very alone and very depressed. With nothing to occupy her time (and mind) she decided to throw herself into work. Her bosses took notice of her and if one good thing came out of her trauma, it was an offer that she represent her company in the national trade show (take that, Brenda!). She’d be given the opportunity to fly to Santa Fe in third quarter. As happy as she was, she couldn’t find it in herself to celebrate. She wanted nothing more than to call Celine and invite her to the Plaza for margaritas, but she knew that was never going to happen.

  “Fuck it,” she muttered, texting Cash back. She might as well find something to do with her time and in the scheme of things, doing Cash didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

  Yes, I’m free.

  The phone buzzed almost immediately. Ruthie grinned and picked herself off the couch, which was beginning to grow an indent of her body. She rushed to her bathroom, peeling off her clothes, figuring she needed a shower. The bathroom quickly began to fill with steam, fogging up the mirror. Reaching out towards the glass surface, Ruthie wiped the mirror with the palm of her hand and stared at her reflection. There were a pair of dark circles under her eyes, betraying her unending feeling of depression. Deep down she knew Cash would never help her feel completely better. Yet, a little was better than nothing, right?

  With a sigh, she stepped into the bathtub, allowing the hot water to coat her body. Losing herself, she allowed the stream of water to massage her tense muscles.

  ***

  Ruthie jerked the stiff wheel of her rental vehicle, hating the way the car handled. Following the GPS’ directions she found herself turning into the parking garage of a hotel, bypassing the valet in the front. She rolled into the ominous cement building, turning into the first empty space she spotted. She placed the ugly car in park and pulled down the visor mirror, making sure she looked somewhat presentable. Once satisfied, she practically ran out through the garage, making her way to the elevator. She hoped to reach Cash’s room before she lost any nerve.

  Her long hair swung behind her, her footsteps stomping through the carpeted hallway. She eyed the number of each room, surprised that Cash hadn’t rented a whole floor to himself. She wouldn’t have put it past the self-centered a-hole. Finding the room she was looking for, she paused and took a deep breath before lightly knocking on the door.

  Ruthie heard what sounded like numerous muffled voices coming from the inside of the room. She frowned and waited anxiously for the door to open. Maybe Cash had given her the wrong room number? Before she could think twice about it, the door opened, revealing a very tan and a very naked Cash.

  “Ruthie!” He pulled her into the room and hugged her tightly. “I missed you, babe.” He squeezed her tightly, grabbing onto her bottom in the process.

  Ruthie began to smile until she spotted two women sitting on the couch. They smiled up at her enthusiastically, both wearing nothing but lacy underwear. One of the scantily clad women even had the audacity to run her tongue over her bottom lip.

  “What is this?” Ruthie gasped, pushing Cash away. She felt sick to her stomach and hoped to God she was seeing things.

  “Oh! How rude of me! Ladies, this is Ruthie. She’s the one I was telling you about.”

  The women giggled and wiggled their French manicured tips at her. The lip licker grinned and called out, “About time you showed up. We were getting antsy.”

  “What is this, Cash?” Ruthie hissed, feeling disgusted.

  “I wanted to see you,” Cash murmured, pressing his lips into
her neck. Ruthie pushed him away, earning a scowl. Cash flicked his teeth. “You said you liked being seen with me, so I figured I’d give you what you wanted.” He gestured towards the women, who immediately began to undo their bras.

  Ruthie’s eyes widened in understanding. “You are fucking sick! Sick!”

  Cash took a step back, his expression unreadable. “What? You’re not into being watched? I thought all that talk about going out in public with me was just code for your fetish.” He snorted and eyeballed the naked women who were perched on his couch. “Well, if you’re really not into voyeurism, I’m sure these ladies wouldn’t mind joining in, am I right, ladies?”

  “Oh, you’re right on the money,” the other woman laughed. She began stretching across the couch seductively. Ruthie quickly averted her eyes.

  “You’re such a fucking pervert!” she yelled at him, turning towards the door.

  Cash grabbed her arm and spun her back around. “You wanted to date me, right? Well, this is the stuff I like to do with the women I date.”

  “So that’s what this is all about? To show me that you’ll never settle?” Ruthie huffed and shook her head. A hysteric giggle escaped her lips.

  Cash threw her a strange look. “What’s so funny?”

  “What’s funny is that I allowed a jerk like you to throw my life into shambles! I should have known better.” She shook her head and freed her arm, heading for the door. She turned her head and growled, “You’re a sick fuck!”

  “Ruthie!” Cash called out angrily. He followed her out the door. “Ruthie! You know, if you leave now I’m never coming after you again, right?”

  She froze and took a deep breath. Barely looking over her shoulder, she whispered, “Goodbye, Cash.”

  Ruthie was too shocked and appalled to cry. She felt numb throughout her entire body and was unsure of how she was even able to move her legs to walk. She rushed to the elevator and pounded on the buttons as if doing so would hurry it along. The wait seemed excruciating, but finally the doors slid open. She gasped and took a step back when she noticed a disheveled looking Brian standing inside.