Faded in to You

by Remmy Duchene

  “Of course we do—we can—if we fight for it.”

  Thaddeus slammed the glass onto the counter. It shattered into pieces, slicing his palm. He didn’t feel the pain—all he saw was blood.

  “Shit, Ade! What the fuck!” Ko thundered.

  “Just leave me alone—please?” Thaddeus said.

  “Leave you alone?” Ko asked, taking his hand. “You’re bleeding!”

  “Who’s bleeding?” Ravinder’s voice was worried.

  Thaddeus looked up to the ceiling, wondering why everything was suddenly on an out-of-control cart rolling dangerously fast down a hill. “It’s nothing,” he said, turning on the tap and sticking his hand under the cold water.

  “What do you mean it’s nothing?” Ravinder hurried over and took his hand. “You’re bleeding.”

  “Be careful of the broken glass.” Thaddeus accepted his hand back and grabbed a tablecloth. He wrapped the wound and added pressure.

  “You two can go talk in the living room,” Ko said. “I’ll sweep this up.”

  Thaddeus glanced at Ravinder, who tilted his head, but neither spoke. Instead, he walked away, leading the charge into the living room until he was seated on the sofa and Ravinder sat across from him on the coffee table.

  “Thaddy…”

  “Don’t.”

  “You said something in the bedroom and I want to talk about it.”

  Thaddeus braced himself.

  “I was stunned. We’ve been dating for almost a year now and you’ve never said those words to me.” Ravinder took Thaddeus’ injured hand in his and unwrapped it.

  Thaddeus felt the tremble in Ravinder’s touch, the heat of his fingers, and he wanted so much to wrap himself up in Ravinder. He gasped softly as Ravinder dragged a tender fingertip along his palm, close to the cut.

  “Love is such a strong word, Thaddeus. Don’t say it unless you mean it.”

  “You’re questioning my feelings for you?”

  Ravinder shook his head before lifting Thaddeus’ hand to his lips. He brushed a kiss against the damaged flesh. “No. I… Well, I couldn’t bear it if you came to your senses and took it back.”

  “I love you, Ravinder Raja. I think I’ve loved you since that day you walked into Paresh’s office with fire in your eyes and dislike in your heart for me. This scares me.”

  “Why?”

  “I’ve opened myself up to you,” Thaddeus said, loving the heat that came from Ravinder’s skin to his. “I’ve told you words I’ve never told another man and that’s because I’ve never felt this way for anyone else. Then all I got in return was silence. I think it would have been easier for me if you’d simply said that you don’t feel the same.”

  “Is that what you think?” Ravinder lifted watery, brown eyes to Thaddeus. “That I don’t love you?”

  “I don’t know. Look, you don’t have to return the feelings and you don’t have to say anything. Let me go.”

  “No.”

  “Ravinder…”

  “Thaddeus, you moron, don’t you see? For a genius, you sure are a dumbass!”

  Thaddeus blinked at him. “Okay, since I’m a dumbass you’re going to have to lay it out for me.”

  “Mī tujhyāvara prēma karatō,” Ravinder said, lifting a hand to make a heart shape with his fingers against Thaddeus’ chest. “Mī tujhyāvara prēma karatō.”

  Thaddeus shook his head. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak Marathi.”

  Though he could figure it out, he needed Ravinder to say it in a language Thaddeus could understand. He needed there to be no pretenses, no smoky mirrors—just the truth. Thaddeus needed to hear it as plain as day.

  “I love you, Thaddeus. And the fact that you can’t see it worries me.”

  Thaddeus shook his head. “I can’t read minds, baby.”

  “You love me so you know what love looks like. You should be able to look in my eyes and tell.”

  Thaddeus cradled Ravinder’s face. “I’ll remember that.” He kissed Ravinder softly, once, twice, three times. “Teach me how to say I love you in Marathi.”

  “What about the rest of the language?” Ravinder asked before stealing another searing smooch.

  “Isn’t nearly as important,” Thaddeus replied.

  “Mī tujhyāvara prēma karatō,” Ravinder said.

  “Mī tujhyāvara prēma…um…”

  “Karatō,” Ravinder helped.

  “Karatō.”

  “Okay, you two!” Ko interrupted. “We have to stop at my place to grab another pair of pants for Thaddeus’ suit so we have to go now.”

  Ravinder laughed, and Thaddeus helped him up.

  “You two good now?” Ko asked.

  “He loves me,” Ravinder shouted happily.

  Ko looked over at Thaddeus. Thaddeus could feel his face spreading into the biggest smile he’d ever had.

  “That’s true,” Thaddeus said.

  “Well, I’ll be…” Ko grinned.

  Also available from Pride Publishing:

  Tempted to Touch

  Remmy Duchene

  Excerpt

  Chapter One

  Clark danced around the other servers and set the empty plates on the pile to be washed. The morning had been unusually busy and he couldn’t quite understand why. Strange, since it didn’t mean more tips for him. He could tell by the weight of his apron pocket that he hadn’t made that much. They didn’t depend solely on tips—one upside to serving people junk food in this particular restaurant. His boss was a wealthy man, owning over thirty different locations, but thankfully he wasn’t a stingy man.

  After settling a bill, Clark headed back to the tables and was in the process of restocking them when he noticed people were swarming to the window. A few had their cell phones out and were recording while they chatted excitedly among themselves.

  Nosy, Clark eased his way through the people, peered out through the glass and almost fell over. There was an old woman on the ground, legs and arms flailing like a ladybug that had fallen over. Disgusted at everyone else, Clark shoved through them and darted outside. He slipped to his knees beside the woman and looked around her to make sure there wasn’t anything on the ground to hurt him before leaning over her.

  “Can you hear me?” Clark asked.

  She nodded.

  “Do you have any pain? Does it hurt anywhere?”

  “My hip…”

  “Okay, don’t move. I’m going to get help.”

  “Thank you.”

  He pulled out his cell and called nine-one-one. After he explained the issue and told them to hurry, he hung up and sat on the ground with her. She clutched his hand.

  “Please, don’t leave me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” He met her gaze. “I’ll stay right here until help comes.”

  “Thank you.”

  “What’s your name?” Clark asked. He didn’t want to pry, but, to keep her from panicking, he would use everything he could.

  The woman turned kind yet tired eyes to him. “Rae Ji Kim,” she replied. “I was out running errands when my hip gave out. Someone needs to call my son.”

  “If you give me his number, I’ll call him as soon as you’re okay with the paramedics.”

  “Promise?”

  Clark nodded and smiled.

  “Cell phone is in my pocket.”

  He grabbed the phone just as sirens sounded in the distance. Clark looked up then to see a crowd had gathered around them. He frowned. He still couldn’t believe the nerve of these people. Someone had gotten hurt and instead of helping, they stood aside taking pictures like a bunch of assholes.

  The sirens were louder now, but Rae was still holding tightly to his fingers. When the paramedic got through the crowd, she wouldn’t release his hand. He smiled into her face and took a breath. “It’s okay, Ms. Kim. I’ll be right here, but they have to look at you.”

  “She told me her hip was hurting, so I didn’t want to move her,” Clark explained. “Just in case… Well, you know?”


  “Good job. Let us take a look,” the paramedic said. “Do you know her name?”

  “Rae Kim,” Clark replied.

  “Okay. Ms. Kim? You have to let go of his hand,” the paramedic explained. “He won’t leave. We just need room to inspect you.”

  She had fear in her eyes, but released his hand. Joe, Clark’s boss, rushed over to stand beside him. They watched silently as the paramedics checked Rae, slipped a brace around her hips then her neck. As they worked to put her on the stretcher, Joe jabbed him with his elbow.

  “Go with her,” Joe said. “I’ll pay you for the rest of the day. The way that poor woman clung to you…”

  “Joe, you old softy.” Clark smiled and hugged him tightly before pulling his apron over his head and folding it into a ball. His tips were still in the pocket, so he kept it in one hand. “Thank you.”

  He rushed forward and got into the ambulance right before they closed the door and the siren began wailing again. He scooted as far in as he could then hunched over to hold Rae’s hand. Though she couldn’t move her head because of the brace, she turned her eyes to him.

  “You’ll be okay,” Clark said. “I’ll call your son.”

  “His name… His name is Tae. He’s a good son.”

  Clark smiled. “I’m sure.”

  “In all the chaos, I forgot to ask you your name,” Rae said.

  “Clark—Clark James.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Clark James. I just wish it wasn’t because I am such an old lady.”

  “Old? You’re beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

  Rae chuckled then winced. “You’re too kind.”

  “I’m serious. If anyone asks you how old you are, just tell them you’re twenty-five plus shipping, handling and custom fees.”

  Rae chuckled.

  Clark took a breath and sat back. If anyone had told him that morning when he stepped out of bed that he’d be comforting a stranger halfway through his shift, he would have laughed. Yet here he was, holding her hand and making sure she wasn’t scared.

  His head throbbed because of the siren and he wondered why they needed it. She’d fallen. Nothing seemed broken, yet the driver was gunning it through the streets. Then again, Clark was no doctor, so he had no way of knowing the true extent of her injuries. Maybe the paramedics had seen something he hadn’t—shit, of course they’d seen something he hadn’t. They were trained for this sort of thing.

  The ambulance made it to the hospital, and they rushed her in to see a doctor. With her gone, he looked down at the phone. In all the excitement, he hadn’t asked her for the code. Luckily, when he opened it, the phone didn’t have a lock. Scrolling through her contacts, he found Tae and pressed enter.

  His heart raced faster with each ring. What would he tell this man? How would he even bring up the fact that Rae was lying in a hospital bed with a bunch of people poking at her?

  “Mother, you were supposed to call me two hours ago.”

  The voice sounded hard, controlled.

  “Hi.” Clark cleared his throat.

  “Who is this? Why do you have my mother’s phone?”

  Clark inhaled. “My name is Clark James. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your mom had an accident. She fell while running errands and I called an ambulance.”

  “Where is she?”

  “Memorial Heart. I can—”

  The phone clicked and went dead.

  “Yeah, he may be a good son, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s an asshole,” Clark muttered, hanging up and calling again. The phone rang and went to voice mail so he tried twice more.

  Still no answer.

  “Yup, definitely an asshole.”

  What in the hell am I going to tell Rae?

  Inhaling deeply, he paced the waiting room. Each time he turned, Clark checked his watch then the door, wondering what was taking them so long. He even tried calling Rae’s son again, but the creep wouldn’t pick up.

  It seemed as if time had slowed to the pace of molasses, mocking him, and he didn’t know why. Unsure of how long he had been walking back and forth in the room, he was about to storm the front desk and demand a status update when someone tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned, he was relieved to see it was a doctor. “How is she? Rae, I mean.”

  “She’s okay,” he replied. “Are you Clark?”’

  “Yes.”

  “Usually, I wouldn’t tell you all this. But she told me you were her son-in-law, which makes you family.”

  “Um… I don’t—”

  “She doesn’t want you to worry about her. She broke her left hip. She told me you didn’t want to move her—that was a good call.” The doctor patted Clark’s shoulder. “She will require surgery, but apparently we have to wait for her son. In the meantime, we’ve given her something for the pain. She’s been asking for you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. Clark, right?”

  Clark nodded.

  “Follow me.”

  He shoved Rae’s phone into his back pocket, took a breath and hurried after the doctor. Clark rubbed his free hand against the back of his neck while clutching his folded apron with his tips in the other. He didn’t understand why Rae wanted to see him—hell, he didn’t even know why he’d stuck around after the paramedics had taken charge.

  “Sometimes I swear I don’t have the sense the good Lord gave me,” Clark muttered.

  “You say something?”

  Clark looked up to see that the doctor was eyeing him.

  “No.”

  “You sure you’re feeling okay? We should probably have a nurse check…”

  “I’m fine. A little tired, that’s all. I’m still standing, right?”

  The doctor didn’t look convinced, but he continued. The walk to the room couldn’t have been that long, yet it felt like the same walk he’d made when he’d had to visit his mother on her last day at the hospice. The cancer had ravaged her body and in the end he’d barely recognized her.

  God, I loved that woman.

  He swallowed the lump in his throat and pushed away thoughts of his mother, who had been nothing but skin and bones and barely able to open her eyes. Those days his heart broke constantly, shattering into a thousand pieces when he remembered how strong and vibrant Lizbeth had been. When he entered the room, his mother’s image disappeared like smoke on the wind and Rae replaced her. Rae lay flat, head propped on a pillow with her eyes closed.

  He glanced at the doctor who smiled and walked away. Clark gave himself a mental shake and entered the room. He set his apron on the windowsill and pulled a chair close to her bed. Rae opened her eyes.

  “Your son-in-law?”

  “You stayed,” Rae whispered. “And yes. I knew you’d be worried—at least I hoped you’d be worried—and I know they wouldn’t tell you anything unless you were family. I couldn’t tell them you were my son.”

  Clark smiled, retrieved her phone from his pocket and set it on the small desk by her. “I said I would. And I called your son. I’m not sure what he’s going to do because he hung up on me then stopped taking my calls.”

  Rae made a tsk sound. “He’s a little abrupt,” she explained. “He gets it from his father.”

  “Don’t worry about anything. I’ll make sure he finds you. Get some rest.”

  “You are very kind, Clark. I don’t know many young men who would do what you’ve done for me.” Rae reached out for his hand and clasped it.

  “It was the right thing to do. Besides, what good son-in-law wouldn’t make sure you were okay?”

  Rae laughed. “Touché.” Her eyelids fell shut, and Clark knew she was fighting to keep them open.

  “You can tell me what you need to some other time,” Clark said, leaning in and squeezing her hand gently. “Even if I leave, I’ll come back to see you. I promise. Now, sleep.”

  Rae smiled and released his hand. Clark pulled the blanket up to her shoulders before standing and picking up his apron. He�
�d left Joe short-handed. If he hurried, he should be able to make it back for the last two hours of his shift. Though Joe was paying him for the full day, he felt horrible leaving the way he had.

  Someone cleared their throat behind him at the door, and he turned. The man standing there had to be Rae’s son. He was unusually tall for a Korean man, muscular and dressed in a suit Clark knew to be designer. It looked tailor-made for it fit him perfectly. His dark brown hair was pulled back, exposing a handsome face with well-defined features. The man had his hands shoved into his pockets. His rich brown eyes and full lips gave nothing away—no emotions.

  Clark took one look at Rae to ensure she was sleeping before lifting his chin and walking to the door. He brushed lightly passed Rae’s son, but didn’t escape without getting a whiff of his cologne.

  “You are leaving.” His voice was just as hard as it had been on the phone.

  “Yes. You’re her son. You’re here. There’s no need for me to be any longer. Tell her I had to go back to work.”

  “I’m Tae Won Kim.”

  “Good for you.”

  “You really don’t have to go,” Tae said. “I’m sure she’d love to see you when she wakes up.”

  “Doubt it.”

  Clark continued out of the door and made a left. He hurried along the corridor until it turned into a large room. Glancing both ways, he saw the exit and rushed out of it before remembering he’d left the restaurant with nothing. “Damn.”

  “Something the matter?”

  Swinging around, Clark just about jumped out of his skin. Tae stood there, hands still in his pockets with that same blank look on his face.

  “I…um— A… Shit.” Clark stomped his foot and rubbed the back of his neck. “I have no way of getting back to the restaurant.”

  “I’ll have my driver take you.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Clark said. “All I have to do is find out where the bus comes into this hospital and I’ll be on my way.”

  “It’s the least I can do.” Tae pulled out his phone.

  Clark rubbed his free palm into his thigh. He was springing sweat all over his body. He’d been on his high horse, stalking from Tae without thinking of how he would get away. He listened as Tae spoke in what Clark believed to be Korean on the phone and hung up just as abruptly as he had when Clark was speaking to him about Rae. Soon, a black Lincoln Town Car pulled up before them and stopped. A man dressed in black slacks and a black dress shirt climbed out and opened the back door.