Catch

by Kenyon, Toni

  If it was possible, Matt's features took on an even grimmer look. "I think you should sit down, Tamsen."

  "Why?" She felt uneasy. Another life-changing moment bearing down, she just knew it.

  Tamsen put her coffee down on a tiny piece of uncluttered desk. No need to compound a lousy situation by spilling coffee everywhere.

  "The hospital has done blood tests. Danni's got a streptococcal A infection. Her internal organs are shutting down so they've given her massive doses of powerful antibiotics and put her into a drug-induced coma to give her body a chance to recover. However there's a good chance she might not come out of it."

  "Oh, God! Oh, Matt! Why does this stuff keep happening?"

  The look on his face was dire. He was nearly as pale as the foreboding piles of paper on his desk. "They think she picked it up from your aquarium, Tams."

  "What? That's ridiculous!"

  "Is it? Really? She's been pulling dead and dying fish from that aquarium for over a week now." He dropped his head in his hands; he seemed somehow battered, beaten even. "Fuck! It looks like I could be losing Danni as well."

  "Matt..." There really wasn't a thing she could say. She didn't have a handle on life anymore. "If there's anything I can do."

  "I really think you've done enough!" His angry tone jolted her out of her stupor.

  Her own anger blazed, meeting his. "I don't think you can blame this on me!"

  "I'm not blaming anyone, Tamsen. I just think you should go home."

  "The aquarium?"

  "Don't touch it. The health authorities are sending someone to take some samples. I think it's best that you go. Now."

  From experience she knew it was useless to argue when he used that tone of voice. "I'll be at home. Just call me when you know something. Would you do that much for me?"

  He nodded. "I'll let you know what's going on as soon as I hear."

  Collecting her things from by the aquarium, Tamsen couldn't help noticing the little guy who had been struggling had died. Again, the decision had been taken out of her hands.

  It wasn't lost on her that this was the fish she'd put in the aquarium the day she met Matthew.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Matt, in more shit than he cared to admit, was beginning to realize he didn't have a hope of arranging the financing for the Sinclair deal. He would have been pushing it uphill even with Danni on board. He needed time to think, but time was a scarce commodity.

  The new girl on reception seemed next to useless, but continued copy-typing forms he'd drafted by hand. He'd forgotten how pedantic banks were about full disclosure information and hadn't drafted a trustee resolution in years. Talk about winging it.

  "I can't read this word, Mr Solomon." Emily pointed to the page.

  "It's 'insurance', Emily." How the hell had she'd gotten through secretarial college? He could barely keep a civil tone; it must have been the tenth or eleventh time she'd come back into his office over his handwriting. "The same as the one three lines above it."

  "Oh. Yes, I see that now."

  She scurried back down the hallway and Matt despaired. At this rate there wasn't a chance of him having the documentation in the bank's hands in time to meet settlement. He had barely an hour and needed an alternative plan. The trouble was, there wasn't one.

  Tamsen's stomach lurched as she listened to the health official. "I see. You're sure about that now?"

  She hadn't lost enough it seemed. A week after Danni's hospital admission she was out of the coma and making progress, but still very ill. Everything seemed surreal.

  Tamsen stood in the remains of her flat. Packing cases were everywhere, and now her business being stripped from her too.

  The official warbled on about safe and sanitary practice but she only listened out of a sense of duty. Really, it was all over. Packing up and running away. Nothing left here for her now.

  "No, that's fine. I'll have someone supervise the closing down of the business. Really. You won't have to worry about it happening again." Her voice sounded like a stranger’s, she'd become so disassociated from herself. Like this was all happening in someone else's life. Denial, she thought.

  Tamsen sighed. Hopefully this was the last telephone discussion she'd have to have with anyone related to the Department of Health.

  Gina's final gift.

  Weed.

  Weed that harbored a virulent strain of Strep A. Tamsen had felt like a witch faced with the Inquisition when the Department questioned her, expecting them to pull out branding irons or start shaving her head to check for marks of the devil. She shuddered, just thinking about it all.

  It's behind you now, she reminded herself and turned her attention to the boxed contents of her life. Neatly stacked, all awaiting the removal men. Everything indexed and labeled for when she wanted to walk back into the trappings of a "normal" existence. Was there such a thing, she wondered. The only normal she knew was a setting on her washing machine.

  A buzz from the intercom shattered her thoughts and announced the arrival of the carriers. Pressing the button to open the gate and let them in, she cast a glance again over the stacked boxes. Amazing how a life so out of control could look so organized and orderly when packed. Everything to be tidily stowed in a 12x12 storage shed. A sobering thought.

  On the positive side, she felt lightness in her being she hadn't experienced for quite some time. An inner confidence that, stripped of material responsibilities and goods, she could take the time to go and find herself again. She’d spent far too much time looking after everyone around her, and in the process had lost her inner spark and flame. Her soul had gone walkabout.

  Now the universe had issued its challenge and she was facing the demons come home to haunt her, squaring for the fight.

  Opening the door, her eyes fell upon a young, virile, powerfully built Maori boy. Obviously a great physique was the upside to humping furniture all day for a living. His deep brown eyes shone, evoking a spirit of youth and hope - of a soul that hadn't yet been bruised and jaded by life.

  "Hi. We've come for your stuff." Direct and to the point, she liked that.

  She liked even more when something inside of her stretched, as if her soul were warming itself, basking in the heat of adolescence and optimism, and the marvel of living.

  Wonder Boy strolled past her - a lolling gait, almost like a puppy who hadn't quite grown into its legs yet. He loaded a couple of boxes on his trolley and flashed her a smile. "Shouldn't be too long," he said as he headed for the front door.

  "Not a worry. I'm on my way now. Just close the door behind you when you've got everything."

  Wonder Boy looked perplexed. "Youse not going to stay? Check up on us? Make sure none'a the boys take off with anything?"

  Tamsen smiled. She'd lost so much; a few trinkets in boxes didn't seem to matter much anymore. "I'm sure you can be trusted."

  After one last look at the apartment, she walked out the door, trying hard not to burst into tears. Everything that had ever held her here had gone, but that still didn't make it any easier to walk away.

  She stood waiting for the lift, tears streaming down her face, visions flooding her mind of the happy times she'd experienced here. For the past week, every time the lift doors opened she still expected Gina or Azzie to materialize and bounce down the hallway. Stifling another sob, she decided to take the stairs.

  Sleeping wasn't an option. No matter how still he lay, no matter how many times he closed his eyes and willed the tormented thoughts running through his head to cease and desist, they didn't. Matt had probably the only bright idea he'd had in ages and he needed to talk to someone.

  He'd told Marguerite he was giving up the law, but without any real idea of what he'd do instead. Then it came to him.

  The only person he wanted to talk to about his epiphany wouldn't take his calls.

  He rummaged through his briefcase for the pre-paid mobile he used occasionally, she wouldn't know the number. Magic.

  He dialed T
amsen's number and prayed she would pick up the phone.

  "Tamsen speaking."

  "Tams, please don't hang up."

  "Matt?" She sounded confused. "Where are you calling from? This isn't your number."

  Bingo. "Never mind. Please don't hang up - I need to talk to you."

  "There's not a lot left to say, Matt."

  "Everyone thinks I've done an idiotic thing, but I know you'll understand."

  "You've done a lot of idiotic things lately, Matt. Is this a new one, or an old one you're revisiting?"

  If he weren't so desperate he'd have tackled her about her tone of voice, but he was tired – and, though he hated to admit it, scared. "I've abandoned my career."

  "What? Anything to do with me putting one of your workers in hospital with a life-threatening Strep A infection?"

  "Tamsen, don't be trite."

  "I'm not being trite, Matt - I nearly killed someone."

  "It wasn't your fault. We've been over this."

  "Try telling her husband that. What's the prognosis? Ahh, wait a minute. At least twelve months recuperating, steroid treatment... For fuck’s sake, Matt, she's not even well enough to get out of bed yet and it's been two weeks."

  "It wasn't your fault."

  "We'll agree to disagree."

  He hated the way she sounded, full of despair and self-loathing. If anyone should be feeling like that, he should. "I've given the firm notice. I'm leaving."

  "What?"

  "You heard."

  "You can't do that."

  "I did."

  "But the law's your life."

  "No, it's my mother's life. You're my life, Tamsen, and I want to be with you."

  "Oh, fuck, Matt. You idiot."

  "That's not what I want to hear. You're supposed to be overjoyed and say you want to spend the rest of your life with me."

  The line fell silent. He pulled the phone away from his ear. Yes, the seconds were still ticking away; at least she hadn't hung up the phone on him."

  "Can I come and see you?" He desperately wanted her to say yes. "I just want it to be like it was before. You know..."

  She sighed. "Yeah. I know."

  "So can I?"

  "Can you what?"

  "Come over and see you."

  "No, Matt. Er, I'm not at home."

  Oh shit. His heart sank and his stomach lurched up to meet it. He'd just declared his undying love and she'd met someone else.

  "Where are you?"

  "At the airport."

  He didn't know whether to be relieved or angry. Fury won.

  "What the fuck are you doing at the airport? Running away, I suppose."

  "If you're going to use that tone of voice I'll hang up.

  He didn't want her to do that. "Sorry."

  "I'm not running away. I just need some time to regroup."

  "You could regroup here. I could help."

  "You've got enough crap of your own to deal with, and it sounds like you've just added to the load."

  She wasn't wrong there. "Tams, please don't go. We've been through so much." He hated begging.

  "Everything's in storage. I need to get away." She added, almost as an afterthought, "Not from you, Matt."

  His stomach had a moment of respite from the gripping fear.

  "From everything. Mum and Dad have gone septic. I've maybe got a chance at last to work out what I want to do with my life but they've cut me off. Told me they won't finance me into anything else if I go. So I'm on my own."

  Just as Tamsen had said Marguerite had threatened to do to him. The irony wasn't lost on Matt. "My mother's already told me she'll disown me."

  "Do you believe her?"

  "No. But it doesn't matter. We've got an old dilapidated beachfront place up north, on an island. Dad put it in Trust for me years ago. Mom hated him going up there. Come with me. We can start again - just you and me.

  There was silence on the line again.

  A single tear trickled down his face. The best thing that had ever happened to him was slipping through his fingers and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

  "I have to go, Matt."

  "Promise me you'll come back. You know I love you, Tams."

  "I'm not disappearing off the face of the earth. Just going away for a while. It's for the best, Matt - you know that. Deep down, if you look, you'll know."

  Now he did weep. Tears running down his face. He wanted to sob, big, like a child under the bedcovers when no one knew.

  "If I got in the car and drove to the airport now could I stop you going?"

  Her voice softened. "No. I have to do this, Matt. For me."

  She paused and he heard her take a deep breath. "I love you, Matt. I love you like I've never loved anyone before. You've mined emotions from me I didn't even know existed. You've brought sunshine into my life, shown me things about myself I would never have seen before. Taught me to think, to stand on my own, fight my own battles. But you've brought dark things into my life too. I feel as if I've been disassembled in the last few weeks. I have to go away and put myself back together. Rebuild and replenish."

  "We could do that rebuilding together." It sounded lame even to him.

  "No, Matt. This is something I have to do alone and so do you. I love you. Bye."

  "Aren't you even going to tell me where you're going?" Now he was desperate.

  "I haven't decided. I'll call or email when I get there. Take care of yourself, Matt."

  The line went dead and he broke down.

  Tamsen closed her eyes. She would not cry. She turned off her cellphone. If he called again her resolve would crumble. Deep breaths. Breathe, dammit. She could breathe through the pain.

  It was the downside of loving, the pain that inevitably came - as if God decided the ledger had to be balanced somehow. For all the pleasure Matt had brought her there needed to be an equal measure of pain. No way out but through, her therapist had told her. Though there was no escaping the fact - through sucked.

  Digging her fingernails into her palms - the physical pain her great antidote to emotional pain - she looked up at the departure board. Letters tumbled down the wall, clattering in some macabre yellow-and-black fountain, full of promise of exotic places she could escape to.

  She couldn’t do it. Why would she walk away from the best thing that had happened to her? How could she leave him now? He'd just asked her to live on an island with him. She could almost hear Gina whispering, 'an island for your retreat'. She’d never told Matt about her dream. Had this been Gina's doing all along?

  Groping for her cellphone Tamsen turned it back on and hit reply.

  "Tamsen?" He sounded stunned. Best be quick, before she lost her nerve.

  "I’ll do it." Her heart pounded in her chest.

  "What?"

  "Run away with you to your island."

  "Really?"

  “Yes," better solidify the deal, "we can make a new life together."

  "You really think so?" She heard hope in his voice and it warmed her through.

  "Matt. I know so. I’ve never wanted to be with anyone else the way I want to be with you. But there's something else I need."

  "I’ll get you a kitten, I promise, I'll even learn to love it."

  She laughed. "A kitten would be nice, but that wasn't what I had in mind."

  "Children?" Now she could hear the fear in his voice.

  "Maybe, one day. But we'd have to get married first."

  "Is that a proposal?"

  "Might be." She couldn't help teasing him. She loved him. "I never told you, I've always wanted to run a retreat."

  "The island's perfect for that." She could hear the palpable relief in his voice. "Well, once we've fixed it up a bit."

  "I guess it's settled then. You better get down here and pick me up," she couldn't help adding as an afterthought, "before I change my mind again."

  "Sit down. No, don't move. I'm on my way."

  Pulling herself up to her full
five feet two inches, Tamsen picked up her bag and headed for the nearest exit and the start of their new life, together.

  <<<<>>>>

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  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Romance from Toni Kenyon - a fresh look at the world

  PRIVATE LOVE IN A PUBLIC PLACE

  Mags O'Brien lives on the alcohol-soaked, drug-enhanced concert circuit, managing out-of-control rocker Julian MacAvoy. She helps him spread his musical gospel to his adoring followers, despite the fast-spinning turnstile on his bedroom door, and the broken hearts he leaves in his wake.

  Mags believes she’s immune to Julian’s magnetic personality but when controversy hits the tour, she finds herself in danger of falling at his feet, slave to his appetites and her own desire and need.

  Julian refuses to be tamed, but the pressure of the ravenous crowds clamps tighter and tighter around him. His chaotic world starts to crumble when he realizes his motivation to continue touring comes from an unobtainable woman. Can he force her to make the agonizing choice between himself and her estranged husband?

  An erotic and candid look at life on the road.

  http://amzn.com/B0093NNH00

  Praise for PRIVATE LOVE IN A PUBLIC PLACE:

  I'm a huge fan of Rock&Roll love stories.This one rates right up there with Olivia Cunning's "Sinners" & "Sole Regret" and "FitzWilliam Darcy". I can't wait for the 2nd book to come out in April! This story has it all... Heartbreak, Steamy but Very Real love and really tough choices. At one point, I cried like a baby and in the next, I was yelling at my KindleFire. LoL...