I opened my mouth to refute that, but nothing came out.
“Why you fighting this?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. “You worried if Vaughn finds out about you, he’s gonna want to bolt—”
“No, nothing like that.” Christ. If only he knew how backward he had it. And when he found out, we might both be out on our asses.
“We put eyes on your place at night. Felix is there for added protection,” he said, steely determination in his face. “We keep this our club’s business for now.”
“Aren’t the brothers going to ask the same questions?”
“Keep your preferences under wraps. Tell them later if you want.”
“Shit,” I said. “Some of those guys are going to think I’ve been giving them the eye this whole time.”
Mal stared at me. “But that’s not how it works, right?”
“Fuck no. You want to screw every damn female that steps in your path?”
He steepled his fingers in front of him. “I see your point.”
“Who the fuck wants to hook up with those assholes anyway?” I asked around a smirk. “Half those greasy motherfuckers can’t even wash their pits properly.”
That got a bark of laughter out of Mal.
“Look, nobody comes on our turf and messes with our family,” he said and then pounded his fist on the desk. “That scumbag tries something again, we take him out.”
Fuck, what was Mal thinking with this plan?
“Isn’t that only asking for trouble?”
“It’s calling him out of his hidey hole,” he said. “His club is going down, anyway. It’s only a matter of time.”
The craziest thing of all was that Mal didn’t even think to ask the one big question. The most obvious one. But I supposed his brain wasn’t wired to think that way. He would never suspect that Vaughn was bisexual as well, because he probably never imagined that the world was so many different shades of queer. Not the world he lived in.
Chapter Twenty-four
Vaughn
Me: Where the hell are my cats?
Smoke: Fuck, was hoping to tell you before you went home. Gonna give you a call right now. Some shit has hit the fan.
I was bringing my father home from the hospital in a couple of days and already had home health care lined up. He had rejected temporary assisted living and was refusing to let me stay with him, so a daily visit from a nurse was the next best option. Stubborn old coot.
He would recover fine, according to the doctors, but with his hip problems, mobility would become a struggle. I certainly hadn’t seen any of this coming, but I knew he was getting up there in age and would eventually need more help.
I made it to the bar that afternoon, and in my quick scan around the joint, I could see that everything was still in order. Smoke and Cherry had done a nice job of keeping things going for me, but truth be told, I was glad to get back to work.
The bar was my life, and I needed to feel grounded again after practically living at the hospital the past twenty-four hours. But things had spun out of control¸ even in my absence. I mean, Christ, my cats were staying with Smoke, and I couldn’t keep relying on him to help me out with every little thing.
I’ll admit I was freaked and more than a little pissed that this motherfucker continued to mess with me.
Smoke had said that he told Mal about his relationship with Jake and that Mal had taken it as well as could be expected. But he had stopped short of divulging anything about us, said it was my business to tell. I considered saying fuck it, because everything else was turned upside down anyway, but for now, I’d follow Smoke’s lead.
I knew Mal wanted to talk to me himself about the plan going forward, so when I heard movement from the back room, I expected the prez to be waiting for me. “Vaughn, come on back and see me.”
I steadied my breaths and headed toward his office.
“What’s up, Mal?” I said, trying to act like nothing at all had changed, when I knew damn well everything had.
He got right down to business. “You’ve had a crap month with your dad in the hospital and your place being broken into.”
I nodded because it was true. On the flip side, I’d also had one of the greatest months of my life. Outside of amazing sex, I’d found another man I connected with on a level I didn’t even know existed before. Even though we couldn’t have each other, the experience had opened up something inside me that had been locked away tight.
“Smoke brought you in the loop, yeah?” he said almost tentatively. “About him and Jake.”
I crossed my ankle over my knee. “Right.”
“You and him still cool?” He was asking whether Smoke telling me he was bisexual had bothered me. Couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Of course,” I said, waving him off. “No big deal.”
“You’re a good man, Vaughn. Like family to us. You don’t need no more shit happening.” His eyes softened as I watched him. “I’m sorry you were brought into Smoke’s business, and because of it, I want you protected 24-7.”
“I appreciate that,” I said. I figured the only thing to do was never to have Smoke at my place again. But fuck, I hadn’t even had time to check on my cats or anything. I’d pick them up from him and be done. “But—”
“No buts about it,” he rumbled. “I want you to stay with Smoke, if you’re cool with that. If Smoke isn’t around, Felix will be in on my game plan, too. You might not know him as well, but he’s good for it. And my boys will be keeping their eye on you right where they can find you.”
My mouth hung open in shock as my heart pummeled in my chest. No wonder Smoke didn’t want to tell me this convoluted plan himself.
“And you think me staying with Smoke ain’t going to raise a red flag?” A rainbow flag was more like it.
“Nobody’s going to try to intimidate us, thinking we’ve gone soft or something, you feel me? That fucker is going down,” he said. “Jake tries to mess with you again, he’s going to have to do it on our turf.”
“And if I refuse your plan?” I asked a little too quickly.
He pushed back from the desk, his eyes wide. It was his turn to look stunned.
“I get it, man, if you’re not cool staying with somebody who prefers both—you know. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.” He stood up and paced.
Well, fuck, now I was creating more suspicion and trouble.
“I know Felix uses his spare room for weight training, but maybe he or one of the other guys could—”
“Nah, forget I said anything,” I said. “It’s just hard not being in my own space, you know?”
“I hear you.” He studied me a long moment, and I nearly wilted under the scrutiny. “But think of it as doing me a favor. Jake comes anywhere near their place, he’s gone.”
“I suppose it’s a good plan,” I said, adjusting myself in my seat. “Smoke’s a good guy. He saved my cats. Been a big help here at the bar. I feel bad putting him out.”
“You got a problem with my lumpy couch?” I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard Smoke’s voice from the doorway. I needed to recover quickly.
“I’d rather sleep on a blow-up mattress than that fire hazard,” I said, grinning.
“Done,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. I turned away quickly before I was caught staring. “Besides, I think those cats of yours already laid claim to my couch.”
Mal burst out laughing. “I can’t even picture you with pets.”
“Right? If there’s anybody who’s going to suffer from this plan, it’s him,” I said, joining in on the ribbing. Smoke folded his arms and chomped good-naturedly on his gum. “We should’ve started him out small, broke him in a with a fish.”
“Fuck you,” Smoke said, laughing. “I’ll clear the boxes in my guest bedroom and set you up in there. At least I know how to make a decent pot of coffee.”
Mal seemed to be watching our exchange with interest. It was growing too domestic and cozy for my taste. I was
nervous he’d read more into it, so I stood up.
“Gotta get to work,” I said. “Smoke, I’ll figure out the logistics with you after I check in with my pop and grab some things from my place.”
A few minutes after I left Mal’s office, Smoke appeared on the other side of the bar. “You sure you won’t need an extra set of hands here tonight?”
“You’ve done plenty for me already,” I said. “And you’re about to do plenty more. Giving up your space like that for me.”
Smoke looked over his shoulder, wondering if Mal could still hear us. “It’ll all be cool, and it’ll be nice to hang out…or whatever…”
His words faded out as his eyes fastened on mine, the raw emotions plainly evident on his face.
Every molecule occupying the space between us began to crackle and pulse.
Me staying with Smoke? Fuck.
As if he could read my thoughts, he backed away. “Catch you later.”
Chapter Twenty-five
Smoke
The first night Vaughn stayed with me, we played it cool, both of us on edge that anybody would think we were messing around. Even behind closed doors. We’d been stupid enough the other night with Felix right below us, too on fire for each other to care.
So he stayed in the guest bedroom that I finally made livable, and I restrained myself from charging in there in the middle of the night and pulling him into my bed.
It was like we were living in a concrete prison of our own suffocating sexual tension. On the other hand, the idea of having somebody to come home to every night actually felt nice. It was a thought that had never crossed my mind before.
The following morning, I made coffee, Vaughn scrambled some eggs, and we ate breakfast in silence. As if we couldn’t truly enjoy each other’s company. I knew it was harder on him than it was on me, so I made as many concessions with the space as I could, leaving him his own key to my place.
For the next couple of days we saw each other only in passing as he got his dad situated at home and then left to manage the bar. I was putting in hours at the auto parts shop, in addition to working on a new piece that had come as a surprise even to me.
The Scorpions would be dealing with the Asylum soon, calling them out on their sins, and who knew what might happen after that. One of the reasons Mal pulled back on all of our gun dealings was that he didn’t like the idea of being controlled by the mafia. His dad might’ve seen it as a lucrative trade, but not when you were practically selling your own soul.
With any luck my problem with Jake would go away and things would return to normal for Vaughn. As normal as they possibly could be.
It felt freeing in a way to have confessed my business to Mal, even though it was only a partial truth. I’d catch Mal staring from time to time, as if he were trying to figure it all out—figure me out. He was decent about it, more decent than I’d given him credit for. Maybe I had Cory and Jude to thank for that.
When Vaughn texted me that he was leaving the bar, I said my goodbyes to Felix, who would call up another recruit to patrol the rest of the night.
“This situation got your internal clock all messed up?” Felix asked.
I sighed. “Isn’t it always?”
He shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to sleeping during the day.”
“It was becoming that way for me too,” I said. “Until…you know, the current mess.”
Felix and I were close to receiving our official patches, which was why we were training new recruits to run patrol. If I got glowing reviews from Fish, I’d be well on my way to earning my chops for the club. If Felix caught up with Jake, he’d get his stripes for sure.
“Wait,” Felix said and then cleared his throat. “What is this beef really about with Jake the Snake?”
I should’ve known Felix would ask questions. He definitely deserved some answers. He’d been patient with me long enough.
Still, I chose my words carefully. “Jake introduced me to heroin. We got high together all the time.”
“Asshole.” His eyes softened at the news. He knew what an uphill battle I’d had to beat the drug. “Why is he trying to mess with Vaughn?”
What did I say now? We were in charge of keeping each other safe. Felix was the closest brother I had.
“Afraid if I tell you, you’ll think differently of me,” I said, wincing. “I’m ashamed of a lot of things. This isn’t one of them, but you might see it otherwise.”
“Hey, man, we’ve all got a history,” he said. “I did some fucked up shit as well.”
“If I tell you…” I said, still working up the nerve. “Promise to keep it to yourself until this is all over?”
“I swear it,” he said, holding out his fist for a bump. “You’re my brother.”
I met his fist and then held his gaze, trying to read behind his eyes. He was a good guy through and through. Out of all the recruits, I’d expect him always to have my back.
“Jake and me, we…messed around a bit,” I said as uneasiness gripped my stomach. “He had a thing for me, probably more than I did for him.”
Felix’s momentary look of shock passed quickly. “So you saying you’re queer?”
“I’m bisexual,” I said. “I like both men and women. Though I’ve mostly been with women.”
“Hey, I’m cool with that,” he said almost immediately. “My brother’s gay.”
“The brother who’s in college?” Suddenly my chest felt lighter. He talked to his brother regularly on the phone, so they must’ve had a decent relationship. “Huh, go figure.”
At least Felix had the courtesy not to say anything cliché like I didn’t look the part or some shit like that.
“So how did Vaughn get dragged into this? Is Jake sweet on him?” he asked. “He is a good-looking dude. Even I can admit to that.”
I laughed. He definitely was gorgeous. “I think since I’ve been helping him with the bar and stuff…”
“Ah, got it, no need to elaborate,” he said, effectively letting me off the hook. “Dude is jealous, still got a thing for you.”
He saved me from having to explain it on my own. He didn’t suspect anything was going on between Vaughn and me after all.
When all this was said and done, Vaughn and I would have some decisions to make going forward. The easiest route would be for us to part ways and consider us history.
But who was that easy for? Me, or everybody else? Just the idea of never tasting and smelling Vaughn again caused my chest to squeeze so tight it was as if I was wearing a straightjacket.
“I’d better get going,” I said, more than anxious to be with the man we’d been discussing. “Vaughn is being a good sport about all of this. Don’t want to get on his bad side.”
“We’re going to owe him big time,” Felix said, tossing me a final wave.
“No kidding,” I mumbled, heading off in the other direction.
I turned on the stereo to Vaughn’s favorite classic rock station and was waiting for him when he finally got inside. As soon as the door shut, I advanced on him. “I need you in my bed.”
“Thank fuck,” he said, and then sealed his mouth over mine for a deep and slow and all-consuming kiss. It was so hot I felt electricity buzzing through all of my limbs. I stumbled back in a daze when he released me, and I could tell that he thrived on making me weak in the knees.
“Shit,” I said. “You drive me fucking wild.”
“That makes two of us.”
He backed me toward my bedroom like he was a predator and I was definitely his prey, pulling my shirt over my head while we both kicked out of our shoes and pants. He had his T-shirt yanked over his neck before hitting the bed. I would let him have the upper hand for now, but I was just itching to flip him over and fuck the hell out of him.
He was nuzzling my neck and sucking on my collarbone, marking me where nobody else would see. I was squirming beneath him, my fingers grazing over every part of his body that I could reach. After I slid his boxers down, I fisted his cock in
my hand while he straddled my hips. He bucked against me and groaned.
“I missed this,” I said, shamelessly. “The way you smell and the sound of your voice, all raw and needy.”
“Christ, you’re going to make me blow my load too early,” he grunted out.
He prodded my shoulder, encouraging me to flip onto my stomach. I resisted.
“Turn over for me.”
“Why?” I said, hesitating. “What do you have in mind?’
“Christ, just do it. I’m not going to try to fuck you,” he said, and my muscles unwound. “I should be allowed to touch you when I want.”
After I twisted onto my stomach, my stiff cock digging into the sheets, his lips found that one spot beneath my ear that drove me insane. He bit and licked lightly, and for the first time I wondered if he missed topping. Would he seek out other guys to get his needs met? A flaming coal of possessiveness blazed in my stomach, burning me up from the inside.
His lips traveled across my shoulder blades and down my spine, and I shivered from the feel of his hot mouth on my skin. I was so desperate to be inside him, to feel his body constrict around my cock, to experience all of him.
Is that how he felt as well?
When his lips made their way to the waistband of my briefs, he curled his fingers inside, slowing tugging my underwear down my cheeks. I felt the air hit my skin, and it soothed the prickling heat racing along my back.
Following the descent of the material, he kissed my skin inch by inch before finally yanking my underwear off of my legs. I trembled, feeling completely exposed but also extremely turned on.
I waited for that small tremor of fear that would spiral through me when Jake would be entirely too rough, topping me when I was high as a kite. I felt nearly indefensible when I was with him, mostly because of the drugs, but also because he’d become so unpredictable in his behavior.
But with Vaughn I felt safe and cared for. His warm mouth skimmed over my ass before kissing lower to my inner thighs, and for the first time in years, I considered wanting more.
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