When he parted my cheeks and blew on my hole, I nearly sprang off the bed. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Just relax and let me explore. I know you’ve got your reasons for not wanting to be fucked, and I have a good idea what they might be, but Christ, can you please trust me?” he said in a growl. “I’ve got needs too. And right now I need to make you feel good.”
I fell silent and slackened into his touch as he continued to lick, nip, and blow cool air on my thighs and cheeks. I squirmed and groaned, ready to fucking explode.
“Is…is this enough for you?” I whispered. What in the hell was I asking?
“You mean being a bottom?” he asked, as if he could read my every thought. “Goddamn, Reed.”
He angled my head and slid his lips tenderly against mine, his tongue dipping inside my mouth. Nothing felt better than kissing him. Nothing.
“Listen,” he said, his eyes connecting with mine. “I’ll take anything I can get when it comes to you. You got me so cranked up. Lately, all I can think about is your cock in my ass.”
I inhaled a sharp breath. Those words made my chest feel tight and funny.
“Same here,” I admitted, stroking my thumb across his cheek.
“Sure, I’m used to topping, and I fantasize about what it’d feel like to be inside you. But I get it,” he said low in my ear. “For now, let me play.”
His fingers slid up to dig into my back as he kissed open-mouthed between my shoulder blades. When his hands kneaded lower to my cheeks, I moaned. My fingers tightened around my balls to keep myself from exploding.
“I don’t want you getting your needs met anywhere else,” I said, panting. “Not while you’re with me.”
He hummed in response. The heels of his hands nudged my cheeks open, and the tip of his tongue traced my hole. Jesus fuck, I almost shot to the ceiling.
“I don’t want anybody else, Reed.” I dug my head into the pillow and groaned.
When he blew across my sensitive tissue, my cock swelled even further.
“I need to taste you.” His slick and gentle tongue licked. His cool breath puffed softly on my skin. “You got your turn. Now let me have mine, yeah?”
I let him have me because I was so completely gone for him, I wanted more. I arched my ass as he kissed and licked at my hole, my entire body vibrating as pinpricks of heat swept across my skin. I was moving my hips in a messy, jagged pattern, already a shuddering mess before his tongue pressed inside.
I whimpered, which practically turned into a sob, because it was the most amazing sensation, allowing him that intimacy.
“Christ,” he said. “You are so sexy here. If this is the only way I can get inside you…fuck.”
His thumbs spread my hole open, and he dipped his tongue between my inner walls, moaning as if he was just as turned on. A long and low groan released from my throat as his tongue jabbed and wormed its way inside.
As if he could reach that other battered place as well. The one with the stitched-up pieces. Tattered and worn, having suffered long and hard to make it out of a dark and shadowy past.
I felt gutless, unable to move my limbs or breathe, for that matter, the air leeching out of me with every gasp. His finger replaced his tongue, and at first it felt so foreign, I winced and squirmed. But then he gave his wrist a twist and hit that spot inside me that I had nearly forgotten existed. Another quick stroke and stars floated in front of my eyes. Everything buzzed awake inside me. I was in a supreme state of euphoria.
“Uuuuuuhhhh, Vaughn.” He was finger fucking me now, and I was moving my hips to match his rhythm. I could almost imagine his cock pushing inside me, and it made me nearly feverish. He wouldn’t be rough unless I requested it. More than likely, he’d feel amazing.
“You like that?”
“Hell yes, but I…I’m about to lose my fucking mind.”
He removed his fingers and I immediately mourned the loss. “Turn over.”
My limbs felt rubbery as I flipped to my back. My cock curved against my stomach, full and leaking. He looked down at my length as if in awe and reached across the nightstand for a condom and some lube.
He suited me up and then applied lube generously before finally straddling me. He grazed my lips and slowly lowered himself on top. My fingers gripped his thighs as my cock breached his tight hole. He stilled as I whimpered, barely hanging on.
“Damn, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” I said. His cock was long and beautiful, his chest flushed, and his mouth gleaming wet from being inside me. “I’m not going to last.”
He grabbed his cock, fondling it in long and easy strokes, knowing exactly how he liked it. My hand wrapped around his and he bowed his back, urging me on, as I pumped him good and fast.
“I need you to move, Vaughn.”
He nodded in understanding, lifting his ass and slamming back down, while his fist gripped his length. “Christ.”
My balls were tight and my spine was hot and prickling. He threw his head back and lost it, his come surging onto my stomach and chest and neck. A glob landed on my lip and I licked it off, groaning and tasting him.
I clutched his muscular thighs and thrust upward, feeling his hot hole contract around me. A couple of drives more and I broke completely apart, shooting load after load inside him, bent on finding my salvation.
I was trembling from head to toe, my heart thrashing in my chest, and he wrapped his limbs around me, tucking his head into my neck. “Fuck, that was—”
He licked a trail up my neck, attempting to rein in his breaths.
Several minutes later, when he could finally move, he disposed of the condom and cleaned us both up, using his T-shirt from the floor.
“Stay in my bed tonight.” I pulled him back into my arms. “Every night.”
I liked the weight of him on top of me, our soft cocks brushing alongside each other. His breath on my neck, his soft hair on my cheek.
“You sure?”
“Never been more sure,” I said and he hummed, licking a stripe beneath my ear.
The smaller black cat bolted inside the room and jumped on the end of the bed, curling herself into a tight ball. The gray feline followed suit, kneading the comforter and then bending himself against the other cat.
Vaughn smiled lazily. “Guess they like the idea, too.”
Our lips met again and we explored each other’s mouths, tongue to tongue, breath to breath, until he rolled over and we fell into a deep and sated sleep.
Chapter Twenty-six
Vaughn
We relaxed into an almost natural routine the next couple of days, and I got a taste of what it might’ve been like having a partner, another person to come home to day in and day out. Maybe a sample of what Jude and Cory’s life was like. I tried not to think too hard about how much I liked it, looked forward to it even.
I wanted Smoke, needed to be in his bed. Not only to have him fuck me into the mattress but also to feel the warmth and security of his arms. That mix of cinnamon and brine, spice and salt, that always greeted me when I inhaled him, tasted his neck. I craved that look in his eyes when he was inside me. Maybe that had been my first mistake, to always search for something in his gaze.
But whatever I was looking for, I found it, even if would never be voiced out loud. I was in love with Smoke, and I wasn’t sure if the feeling was mutual, but given the tenderness I consistently felt from him, it might’ve been close.
And it was so fucked up, because I was staying with him to keep myself safe but also to try to draw out the guy who was fucking with me. And each night I wanted Jake to show himself to the club, and not, all at the same time.
Because then this temporary arrangement with Smoke would end. And it would be time. To man up. To make a decision about who we were to each other and what we wanted. We couldn’t be on hold forever.
Today was my day off, Mal had invited me to the compound for a barbeque, and I had accepted. But first I needed to visit my dad. Smoke and I were driving up together, and he would
be meeting me at my pop’s house after working for a bit at the auto parts store.
I arrived to find Mary, the home health nurse, sitting with him. “Is he still being ornery?”
“Of course.” She grinned. “I wouldn’t have him any other way.”
“You see? I haven’t been a problem,” Dad said with a scowl on his face. But I also saw something else alight in his eyes when he looked her way. Huh. Did my pop have a crush on Mary?
She was an attractive woman, with shoulder-length reddish hair and a nice figure. She also looked to be about ten years younger than my pop.
She removed the blood pressure cuff and was about to place the thermometer in his mouth. “Now keep that trap closed so I can take your temperature and speak to your son.”
He grumbled something as she slipped the plastic stick beneath his tongue. She rolled her eyes but also smiled warmly at him. I could tell he enjoyed the attention, and much like my stepmother would dote on him, Mary seemed to be overly accommodating as well. I was only now putting the pieces together. How she stayed longer than expected and baked him oatmeal raisin cookies last week. Go figure.
“All his vital signs have been good,” she said, giving him a pointed look to keep his lips sealed. He seemed to like her sass but would probably never admit to it out loud. “He just needs to add more vegetables and exercise to his routine.”
“Good luck with that,” he said once she removed the thermometer.
“I’ll somehow wrangle you into going for a short stroll with me in a couple of days,” she said in a teasing tone as their eyes caught and held. I had to look away. Didn’t matter how old I was, my father turning on the charm wasn’t something I wanted to witness.
“A couple of days, huh? So you’re giving me a break tomorrow?” Pop asked. He almost looked like a pouty little kid. I hid my smirk with a cough.
“My coworker will be taking over my shift, so you better be nice,” she teased as my dad’s shoulders practically slumped in disappointment. “My son and his boyfriend have a layover tomorrow, and I want to spend a few hours with them before they leave for their Hawaiian vacation.”
Pop’s mouth contorted as if he’s swallowed a lemon drop. To make up for his rudeness, I stepped up to the plate. “That sounds real nice. I’ve always wanted to visit Hawaii.”
She nodded. “My late husband and I always gushed about how much we loved it there, so I guess my son had a little influence.”
I nodded. “Well if you need a casual place for an early dinner, you can always stop into the Hog’s Den. The late afternoons are quiet, and the tab would be on me.”
“I appreciate that. Your dad always tells me you’re a stand-up guy,” she said, patting my arm and waving goodbye. Pop watched the doorway a little too long after she left, as if hoping she’d magically reappear. I almost ribbed him a little about Mary, but I didn’t want him to clam up on me. Embarrassing or not, it was nice to see that light in his eyes again.
“What’s your deal?” I asked as his silence continued.
“Nothing, I guess…” he sighed. “That didn’t surprise you?”
“Which part?” I said, bracing the counter.
“That she spoke about her gay son like it was no big thing,” he said.
“Maybe because it ain’t no big thing.”
He stared at me, his eyebrows arching together. “When I was coming up—“
“Maybe people should be free to love whoever and however they want,” I said, unable to stop myself. “And it shouldn’t be anybody’s business.”
“You saying you accept that kind of lifestyle?”
“Let’s put it this way. Obviously Mary’s son felt comfortable enough to come out to his mother, and she sounds like she still loves and accepts him fully.” I felt my chest tighten up. “Now it might’ve been tough for her at first—you never know unless you ask—but the place she’s at with him now? Sounds pretty damn cool.”
I snatched a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water, my throat feeling awfully parched. I gulped a little and then turned back to him. “You telling me that if your child confessed the same, you’d disown him or stop loving him? After losing Leanne the way you did, don’t you think life is too short for that kind of bullshit?”
His eyes grew shiny at the mention of my stepmom, and I felt like shit for making him emotional. But this was the kind of conversation I’d always avoided with him. It was just something we never discussed. So maybe having somebody like Mary in his life was good, if only for a while.
We watched a little television, and then I made him some soup with his favorite oyster crackers. I stared at the clock above his head. It was in the shape of a giant coffee cup, one that you’d see at a small, out-of-the-way diner or something.
He followed my gaze and a ghost of a smile lined his lips. “That one is Mary’s favorite.”
“Somebody’s got it bad,” I said, before I could take it back.
“What are you—”
“Don’t even try to deny it,” I said. “It’s all cool. Maybe when you go for your walk, it should be to a flea market. You’re due for a new clock, yeah?”
He narrowed his eyes. “I thought you said my clocks were a pain in the ass.”
“They are.” I stood up rinse our bowls. “But it would nice to have somebody to share your interests with.”
Pop’s face looked momentarily conflicted as he drummed his fingers on the tabletop. I leaned closer to him and whispered, “I think Leanne would approve.”
“Mary’s my nurse,” he sputtered. “I’m sure there’s some code or another about not crossing any lines.”
I folded my arms across my chest and studied him. “Maybe so. But if it’s mutual, you’ll figure it out together. For now, enjoy the company.”
He nodded, and I grabbed my phone to check my messages. Just as I was wondering what was taking Smoke so long, there was a rumble of noise in the driveway and then a knock on the door a minute later.
“C’mon in,” I said.
Smoke pushed open the screen and strolled inside, one hand in the back pocket of his tight jeans, a bandana tied around his head. His high cheekbones looked flushed from the wind and damn, those plump, rosy lips were tempting. Fuck me.
His eyes latched onto mine, and we soaked each other in as if we hadn’t seen each other in days. Pop cleared his throat and I shook my head, cursing at myself for looking like a lovesick puppy myself.
“Pop,” I said, swallowing thickly. “You remember—”
“Reed,” he said, holding out his hand. Smoke’s cheeks colored even further.
“Mr. O’Keefe,” Smoke said, shaking his hand before his gaze darted to the wall behind him. “Whoa. Vaughn told me you had quite a collection, but I didn’t picture all of this.”
“Some crazy shit, right?” I said, almost laughing at Smoke’s wigged out expression.
I watched him in awe as he walked around the room, admiring the clocks from different angles. At first I thought maybe he was only acting impressed to make my pop feel good, but after a couple minutes more, I wasn’t so sure.
“This one looks like it was made from a heavy-duty sheet of chrome from the late…what would you say?” he asked, looking over at my dad. It was a retro-looking clock with beige and eggshell-blue coloring.
“Vintage 1950s,” Dad said without even a pause. “Dealer said that particular shipment came from France.”
“France, huh?” Smoke said, his fingers curling over the arch. “Fancy.”
After a few more minutes of listening to the two of them shoot the breeze about different metal compounds and treatments, I was itching to hightail it out of there and get on the road.
I hadn’t told my dad that I’d been staying with Smoke; there was no need to worry him. But after our heavy conversation earlier, it was time he finally knew some other things about me.
Soon, I told myself. Besides, he was just getting to know Smoke, and he seemed to like him. Having Smoke here with me felt pr
omising, and I’d hate for him to think that he wasn’t welcome anymore. Who knew how my dad would respond?
“We should probably get going.” I bit down on my lip, not wanting it to seem like I was in a rush. But I was definitely looking forward to our ride.
Smoke looked over at me, his eyes snagging on my mouth.
“How’d you get that scar, anyway?” he asked suddenly.
“This one?” I rubbed my finger over the jagged flesh. I knew exactly what he was referring to after his teeth and lips and tongue had smoothed over it too many times to count.
“It was from that broken bottle in the backyard, right?” my pop suddenly chimed in. “He and his friend Z were always goofing off and getting into trouble.”
“BB gun incident?” Smoke asked, as if he hadn’t heard all my ridiculous stories at the bar a thousand times over by now.
“Yup,” I said. “Gave my pop and my stepmom a run for their money.”
“So I’ve heard,” Smoke said, crossing his arms, a wistful smile on his face.
I shook my head and then patted Pop on the back. “You know to call if you need me, right?”
“Of course,” he said, stretching his legs out on his ottoman. He looked over at Smoke standing beside me. “You come visit anytime, son.”
Smoke signaled a goodbye with his hand. “I’d like that, sir.”
Chapter Twenty-seven
Vaughn
We stepped inside the compound only to discover that most everybody was hanging out back on this sunny day. Jonas was manning the grill while his old lady stood next to him, chatting up some other girlfriends and wives.
I didn’t allow my gaze to linger on Smoke longer than necessary as he walked away to pick up a game of cornhole out on the sprawling lawn. Who would’ve thought a bunch of tough-as-nails bikers were capable of being so domestic?
I took a seat at one of the long wooden benches and grabbed some pretzels from the bowl in the middle of the table. Though I could be overly talkative in my own establishment, out here some might consider me the exact opposite. Not that I didn’t feel welcome. Just didn’t feel like myself, at least not lately. Like I was keeping a secret so large, I would break apart any moment. All the stripped-down pieces of myself would float away in the wind.
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