A Million Times Goodnight

by Kristina McBride

“I’m glad.” I laughed.

  Josh looked at me, his eyes drooping. “Me, too.”

  “You must be tired. Why don’t you try to get some sleep. I’ll keep watch. They’re bound to be here soon.”

  “Wake me as soon as you see Roller’s car?”

  I looked in the rearview mirror, angling it so I could see the road behind us.

  “You think we made the right decision?”

  “It’s your call…. But when you throw Roller Haughton into the mix, I think it’s our best bet.”

  “So, we’re ready?” I asked.

  “As ready as we’ll ever be.” Josh closed his eyes, nestling his head into the curve of the seat. “And once this is over, we’ll be free.”

  His breathing slowed, deepened. I watched the clock tick away the minutes. Counted each as it passed, shifting in my seat when I hit the number five. Josh stirred, his mouth parting slightly. I focused more on him than on the rearview mirror. Finally, his breathing steadied. It had been seven minutes.

  And then I reached, slowly and carefully, into the backseat.

  Eased the zipper of the backpack open.

  Dropped my hand inside.

  And clasped my fingers around the cool, slick surface of the gun.

  41

  THE WITCHES’ TOWER – 6:23 AM

  JOSH STOOD at the edge of the woods, the sister trees behind him, sunlight burning away a gauzy haze that circled their twining legs.

  “You hid the package?”

  Josh nodded. “He won’t find it. Not without the clues.”

  “Which we won’t offer up until he admits what he did. To me. To Penny. To all those girls. By then the police should be here.”

  “You’re good by the tower? You’re sure you don’t want me right by your side?”

  “I’m fine.” I shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. “You need to stay hidden. If they see you, this won’t work. They need to think they’re in control.”

  Josh shook his head. “When this is over—”

  “When this is over, the police will have both of them, and we’ll be free.” I smiled, my fingers grazing the surface of my favorite ring, the one I’d tucked away in my pocket when this crazy night had only just begun. “And then we are going to go talk to Tyler Rawlins. We’re going to tell him everything. You and me. Together.”

  “Not today, Hadley. It’s too—”

  “Do you hear that?” I pulled the ring from my pocket and slid it on my finger, back where it belonged. I wasn’t going to let Ben Baden take one more thing away from me.

  The whoosh of wind racing up the hill was faint at first, then grew louder, accompanied by the sound of tires squealing around a bend.

  “We’re on,” I said.

  Josh winked at me, his lips parting in a smile. “You got this,” he said. “Don’t let them scare you.”

  “Me?” I asked. “Never.”

  Josh raced toward me, crossing the space between us in a few steps. He slipped his arms around my waist and kissed me, his lips smiling, his heart beating against mine.

  I watched him disappear behind the sister trees, so grateful to finally have him back. There wasn’t any room for fear.

  Until the BMW skidded to a stop in the pull-off.

  Until Ben and Roller swung open their doors at the exact same time, stepped out of the car, and started walking toward me.

  42

  GRANT ISLAND, FLORIDA – 6:23 PM TRIP ODOMETER – 873 MILES

  IT SOUNDED far away at first, the tapping that made me feel off balance. There was something I needed to remember. The sound continued, louder, threatening to split my head right open.

  Then it was there, all of it rushing me. The jagged pieces of a thousand dreams.

  The picture of me on Facebook.

  The tower, the moon, and the glittering green of Josh’s eyes.

  The drugs and the girls and Penny with her million goodnights.

  The rest seemed mixed up—a tunnel of mirrors and a phone, a teal tile mosaic, beautiful girls with no mouths, and two bikes leaning up against the braided sister trees back at the tower.

  Eyes opening, hand clenching tight around the heavy lump I’d stuffed into the pocket of my jacket, I faced him.

  “Caught you!” Ben stood at the window, lips curled back in a nervous kind of smile.

  I reached across the console for Josh, grabbed his arm. He stirred, sitting up before he was fully awake.

  “What?” But I didn’t have to answer. Josh’s eyes pulled tight as they focused on Ben and, just behind him, the tall, skinny frame of Roller.

  “Sorry,” I whispered. “I must have fallen asleep.”

  “It’s okay,” Josh said.

  I shook my head. “I was supposed to be on watch.”

  “It’s going to be okay. Just follow the plan, and we’ll be fine.”

  I unlocked the car and reached for the handle, but Ben beat me to it, yanking the door open and sweeping an arm out to one side.

  “Hadley,” he said, his eyes swimming with a mix of emotions. He was pissed. But there seemed to be something else swirling around the edges. Regret. Or maybe even fear. “It’s time for us to talk.”

  I stepped onto the pavement, a fine layer of sand scratching under my feet, and looked him right in the eyes. “Yes. It’s time.”

  Behind me, I heard Josh open his door, his feet planting hard on the pavement.

  Ben looked at him from over the convertible top, then back at me. “Alone, Hadley. We talk alone.”

  “I’ll watch this one.” Roller jutted his chin toward Josh. “Make sure he doesn’t get away.”

  I glared at Roller, taking in the crooked set of his nose, the coal black of his eyes. I was suddenly afraid of leaving Josh alone. Terrified that splitting up was the worst thing we could do. But it was too late to turn back now. I had to stay focused, to follow the plan. I started toward the lighthouse, the wind tossing my hair, ripping through my clothes, crashing the heavy weight in my pocket against my hip.

  43

  THE WITCHES’ TOWER – 6:26 AM

  “CAUGHT YOU!” Ben stalked toward me, crossing the last few feet separating us.

  Roller stopped just behind him, legs spread wide, arms crossed over his chest.

  “Who’s this?” I asked. “Your new bestie?”

  “Hadley, please.” Ben looked so tired, circles cutting a deep purple swath just beneath his eyes. “Just give me the package.”

  I smiled. It was shaky and forced, but I hoped it looked strong. “Not so fast.”

  “Game’s over,” Ben said. “Just give it up.”

  “Funny that you mention games.” I tipped my head to the side, letting my words sink in.

  “What’s she talking about?” Roller asked, his eyes cutting from me to Ben and back again.

  “Should I not call it a game? Do you prefer the official title?”

  “Dude,” Roller said, “she’d better not be talking about—”

  “Relax,” Ben said. Roller opened his mouth, about to say more, but then pressed his lips together. “She doesn’t know a thing.”

  “I don’t know a thing about what?” I asked. “The pictures on your phone? Or your twisted little club? The Free Agen—”

  “You said she didn’t know,” Roller lashed out at Ben. “You said there was no way she’d figure things out.”

  Ben ignored him, looking at me, eyes pleading.

  “I tried to keep you out of it.”

  44

  GRANT ISLAND, FLORIDA – 6:26 PM TRIP ODOMETER – 873 MILES

  “YOU TRIED to keep me out of it?” I asked as I crossed from the pavement of the parking lot onto the flowing sand, my feet sinking in.

  “I had it all figured out,” Ben said, catching up. “I was almost free and clear, but you had to go and steal my car.”

  “And your drugs. Don’t forget about the drugs.”

  “There’s more to this than you know. So much more, Hadley.”

  “More
?” I didn’t stop. Didn’t even look at him. “You mean that naked picture of me that you posted on Facebook?”

  “I had to,” Ben said, his voice insistent. “I didn’t have a choice. He made me. It was supposed to get you back to the party. I never thought you’d—”

  “Because he wanted the drugs?”

  “Yes. Everything was about the pills.”

  “What about all the others?”

  Ben grabbed my wrist, stopping me from taking another step.

  “Others?”

  “On your phone, Ben. Sydney. Jules. Becky. Treen.”

  “God, Hadley, stop.” His eyes were wild as my words registered.

  “I can’t stop.” Jerking free of his grip, the wind tossed my hair around my face. “There’s one more.”

  “Please—”

  “Penny.” The name unfurled in the wind, tossed into the sky.

  “Don’t do this.” Ben looked over his shoulder, his eyes finding Roller and then flitting back to me. “You need to leave this alone.”

  “I bet you’d like that.”

  “Believe it or not, I’m trying to keep you safe. I’m trying to keep all of you safe.”

  45

  THE WITCHES’ TOWER – 6:31 AM

  “SAFE? BY drugging us?”

  “I wanted to make sure nobody remembered.” Ben squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his hands into fists. “Wait. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like—”

  “You’re sick.” I took a step back, my heart racing. Ben was admitting it—everything he had done—and Josh was tucked away behind the sister trees, recording the entire confession. The police would know the whole twisted story as soon as they arrived.

  “The not remembering, it wasn’t about me. It was about the girls. I didn’t want them to remember because I knew they would hate what they had done.”

  “What you made them do.”

  “I didn’t force anyone to do anything,” Ben said. “You have to believe me. All the girls, what they did, they were on board.”

  “Except for the drugs? I’m guessing none of us just agreed to the part where we were drugged.”

  “Hadley—”

  “But even then, your plan failed, didn’t it? At least once.”

  “Enough with this shit,” Roller said, rocking on his heels, a coil about to spring. “Where’s the package?”

  Ben stood there looking at me with those tired eyes.

  “You messed up with Penny. She remembered. She knew what you had done to her.”

  Ben sighed. “She wasn’t sure, but she was relentless. She wouldn’t leave me alone, so I showed her a picture. One picture. I thought it would keep her quiet. But it just made things worse.”

  “So, after Penny, you figured out how to get it right. A trial-and-error kind of thing? Tell me, how many pills does it take to erase a memory?”

  “I didn’t want to hurt anyone,” Ben said. “I swear. Least of all Penny.”

  46

  GRANT ISLAND, FLORIDA – 6:31 PM TRIP ODOMETER – 873 MILES

  “IF YOU didn’t want to hurt them, why did you take the pictures? The truth, Ben. Tell me the truth.”

  “It’s a game.” Ben’s voice was weary, defeated. “An online club called The Free Agents. Lots of guys are involved. I got sucked in for reasons you don’t even want to know.”

  “A game? Where you drug girls and take their pictures?”

  “Yeah.” Ben’s eyes dropped to the sand. “I hated it, okay? And Penny, I didn’t want to start with her. I had to.”

  “Had to?”

  “There are rules. Challenges. And penalties if you don’t follow through. I was supposed to bring someone in. But my first recruit wasn’t interested. As a precaution, I had to ensure his silence.”

  “Tyler?” The realization made me feel ill.

  “Penny was insurance—a way to keep Tyler quiet if he ever decided to talk. It’s how they protect the club—using people you love against you.”

  “But he’s still friends with you. He knows about all of this, and he’s still friends with you?”

  “He knows general stuff about the Free Agents, but he has no idea about the pictures of Penny. And I’d like to keep it that way. It’s what she would have wanted.”

  “You can’t use her memory like that.” I started walking again, crossing the sand with even strides. “Besides, Tyler does know. You’re going to have to explain to him yourself.”

  “I didn’t think there was any other way out,” Ben said, chasing after me. “Not at first. But then I found one. Roller wanted players, but he wanted something else even more.”

  “This should be good.”

  “He liked what I did with the pills. I was the first one to try it. I swear I only did it for the girls, but Roller thought it would be good for the club, said it would prolong the life of the game, that it was the strongest safeguard of all. Blocking the memories of the girls would ensure the safety of the members and help increase participation.”

  “Because more Free Agents is exactly what the world needs….”

  “With each new member bringing someone else in, participation was soaring. There was even a way for members to gamble on challenges. But Roller needed an in with a dealer who could supply the pills. Enough so that any member who wanted to place an order could.”

  “I don’t get it. What does that have to do with you?”

  “It doesn’t. It has more to do with my mom.”

  “Your mom?” But I didn’t need him to explain. I already knew.

  “Her thing with pills … it’s not exactly legit. Neither is the guy who supplies her. Roller said he’d let me go—dismiss me, no consequences—if I hooked him up with my mom’s guy.”

  “And the package?”

  “It’s a trial run. If Roller can move it in less than a week, he’s in. And I’m no longer a Free Agent. Just like that. A full pardon.”

  47

  THE WITCHES’ TOWER – 6:39 AM

  “A FULL pardon? I bet Penny would have enjoyed a pardon from you and your twisted game. She never got the chance.”

  “Well, I never had a chance, either.” Ben made fists of his hands. “This whole thing has been out of my control from the start.”

  “You’re the one who joined. You dragged all of us into this. How can you say you’re not in control?”

  “Because I’m not!” Ben’s face twisted with shame. “I never have been. Roller targeted me as a new member. I refused him at first, but he’s relentless, one of the top recruiters, earning major points for each guy he brings in. He doesn’t take no for an answer.”

  “You’re telling me the reason behind all of this is that Roller was so relentless, you just caved? Give me a break! I can’t believe—”

  “I joined to protect my mom, Hadley. Roller knows about her thing for pills. He’s her backup supplier when her guy isn’t available, and he threatened to turn her in if I didn’t join. So I did. But I negotiated a release when I promised to make the connection with her dealer.”

  “So, you’re in pretty deep,” I said, looking into Roller’s flat, black eyes. “Which means you’re going down with Ben.”

  “I thought you said this chick wasn’t going to give us any trouble. She’s been nothing but, Baden.”

  “She’s off-limits,” Ben said, his voice a low growl.

  “Nothing is off-limits.”

  “I did everything you asked. You can’t—”

  “I can, and I will, and you know it.”

  “Just to be clear,” I interrupted, “you want your package?”

  “Yes.” Roller’s word was tight, angry.

  My body wavered as if I was caught in a strong gust of wind. But I focused, centering my mind on the only thing that mattered—getting Josh and me out of there, away from Ben and Roller for good.

  “Okay,” I said with a shrug. “Here’s how this is going to go.”

  48

  GRANT ISLAND, FLORIDA – 6:39 PM TRIP ODOMETER – 873 MIL
ES

  “YOU WILL agree to ending this on my terms.” I moved carefully as we made our way up the uneven rocks to the lighthouse, one step at a time.

  “You’re not in charge, Hadley,” Ben said.

  “Roller seems pretty pissed off. And very motivated, driving you all the way to Florida. I’m not sure he’d like it if I told him you declined my offer.”

  “What, exactly, are you offering?” Ben stopped and looked up at the tall structure erupting from the rocky ground. “And where are you taking me?”

  “Josh and I need a way to get home. So, you’re going to leave your car for us to drive back to Oak Grove.” I fought the wind, twining my hair away from my face, wrapping it into one long strand in my grip. “Consider it the least you can do.”

  “No fucking way, Hadley.”

  I bit my lip, tilting my head to the side. “If you don’t agree to my terms, you’ll never find what you’re after.”

  Ben narrowed his eyes at me.

  “The pills, Ben,” I whispered, unclasping my fingers, letting my hair fly wild. “I’m talking about the pills. They’re not in the car. They’re not anywhere near here. But I’ll give you a clue to where we hid them, if you agree to leave us the BMW.”

  49

  THE WITCHES’ TOWER – 6:43 AM

  “YOU HID the package?” Ben’s eyes went wide.

  “Yes. I’m not sure giving it up now is the best option.”

  “It’s your only option, little girl,” Roller said, stepping forward, the rising sun catching on the crooked set of his nose, extinguished in the coal black of his eyes.

  “Actually, I still have a few others. And if you want a clue that’ll lead you to what you’ve been looking for, you’re going to agree to some things first.”

  “Jesus Christ, Ben. Who is this chick?”

  “I’m the chick who can reunite you with your precious package,” I said, my cheeks on fire.