“As a matter of fact, I had been wanting to speak with you on that very subject. As you know, I am adding a selection of scientific works to the Pemberley library…”
“So? What does that have to do with marriage? Most so-called scientists are simply men without purpose. Eccentrics, nothing more.”
“I must disagree. There have been a series of studies on families that continually intermarry… and the findings are most troublesome. They say it can increase the possibility of certain defects in the children.”
“Pish! That is nonsense. Those children no doubt come from poor stock. Our family is of the finest bloodlines. It must be preserved.”
“The studies were done on royal families, going as far back at the Egyptians. And we are not secure from such… remember Uncle Albert? He had the same affliction as his mother.”
“I would hardly call an extra finger or two and affliction. King Henry VIII’s second wife, Anne Boleyn was known to have exactly such a thing, and her child, our revered Queen Elizabeth was magnificent.”
At the mention of Elizabeth I, Darcy glanced across the room to where Elizabeth Bennet did her best to play a simply country ballad. He had to admit that Miss Bennet was right in her assessment of her own abilities. The performance was quite awful, but her voice was positively angelic. Unfortunately, Lady Catherine did not miss the wistful look on her nephew’s face.
“What is it? Surely Miss Bennet is not the latest silly miss to catch your eye? I had thought that your dalliance with Esmerelda Kirkwood was enough of an embarrassment!”
“I assure you Aunt, I have no present intentions towards anyone. When I marry… or shall I say IF… it will be for my own happiness and not the demands of others. Besides, Anne has never wanted to marry me, but you refuse to see it.”
“Anne will do as she is told. I will speak no further of this until you show some sense!”
Darcy did not reply. It was irritating that his failed courtship had reached even his Aunt’s remote ears, but it did not diminish his growing admiration for Miss Bennet. Despite the fact that she challenged him constantly, it only made him want her more. Having been told that she would be visiting Mrs. Collins for some weeks, he planned to extend his stay at Rosings for just as long. Turning to where his Aunt sat glaring at him, Darcy smiled and took her wrinkled hand in his.
“My apologies, Aunt Catherine, it has been a trying year. Perhaps I shall impose upon your hospitality for longer than usual. It will give Anne and I an opportunity to become re-acquainted.”
Mollified, the old lady smiled, showing yellowed teeth, ground down with age. Swallowing a grimace of distaste, Darcy smiled in return, but his eyes remained on Miss Bennet.
~Fifteen~
Over the next month, Darcy did his best to be present every time the Reverend and Mrs. Collins visited Rosings. With Elizabeth Bennet in tow, he had ample opportunity to discover her interests and preferences. It was with great happiness that Darcy found much to be admired. Not only was she charming and of quick mind, Miss Bennet was not the slightest bit intimidated by Lady Catherine. On more than one occasion, he noticed Mr. Collins suck in his breath in fear as Miss Bennet either disagreed with his aunt, or outright refused to answer the dowager’s incessantly rude questions. Just that very evening, Lady Catherine queried Miss Bennet on her age, education and mother’s family. While he had to acknowledge that her connections were indeed far beneath his own, and her mother was positively intolerable, it never seemed to matter when he was in her company. All misgivings about the impossibility of such a relationship disappeared. Feeling foolish, Darcy eventually sought out his cousin Anne for a private conversation. Somehow, Anne had managed to be absent for nearly his entire stay. Only when Colonel Fitzwilliam needed to return to his military duties did she appear. Now, well after all the others had retired, Darcy noticed a dim light under her chamber door. Knocking softly, he was pleased when she bid him to enter, but frowned to find Anne once again, garbed in men’s clothing. Ignoring his reaction, she continued braiding her hair and tucking it under a cap.
“Going out?” he asked innocuously.
Anne only shrugged and pulled on a pair of heavy leather boots. They were caked with mud, leaving dirt on the fine carpet, but she ignored the mess and offered Darcy a vacant chair.
“I wondered when you would finally seek me out. I suppose I owe you an apology for abandoning you to mother’s tyranny, but I need the break. It is exhausting.”
“I can only imagine. She has been badgering me about marrying again.”
“She wont stop until one of us marries someone else. Even then, she may refuse to believe it. You nearly escaped disaster in that very sector from what I hear. What happened?”
Anne’s voice had softened with true concern, but Darcy was not ready to spill out his heart. Besides, it had been quite some time since he had felt anything for Esme Kirkwood.
“A bad choice avoided… it won’t be repeated.”
“Hmm… she must have not been much to be so easily recovered. From what Fitzwilliam tells me, you are quite taken with Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”
Darcy looked heavenward for a moment before recovering. Was there not a single soul who did not know his business?
“Again, I’m sorry, but it is obvious that you are infatuated. And I have only seen you together twice… but if you want my opinion… get her while you can. She’s fabulous!”
“How would you know?”
“Oh, I have my ways…. I visit the vicarage regularly. Poor Charlotte Collins needs a friend. At first, it was a place to hide from Mama that was deemed socially acceptable. But now we get on famously. She is quite a card when the vicar is not around. that man would suck the life out of anyone, but she bears up like a champ. Personally, I would rather die than be saddled with someone I did not even like… but then, I don’t have to. And, neither do you, but if I were to play matchmaker, Elizabeth Bennet is perfect for you.”
“I must admit, I do greatly admire her…. But her family is wholly unsuitable.”
“So, what? My mother is wholly unsuitable to be called a “Lady” yet it is so.”
Darcy smiled genuinely for the first time in what seemed like ages. If Anne had not been his cousin, he might well have considered her, but that was before she had taken to her nocturnal pursuits. He had never tried to stop it, as long as Anne was careful and did not cause a scandal, but sometimes he did wonder what exactly she did into the wee hours of the morning. Fortunately, Lady Catherine did not rise until midmorning and never witnessed her daughter’s returns. Now, as he listened to her advice, courage grew where it had only been speculation. Could he truly be in love with Elizabeth? The feelings he now possessed had not been present with Esme. It was as if he was incomplete when she was not near, but did she return his affections? Promising to take Anne’s suggestion into consideration, he insisted she promise to keep his secret.
“Just don’t wait too long, surely someone else will realize her value. If Fitzwilliam had any money, he would have married her by now. I even offered to give him some, but he refused… stupid male pride, always getting in the way.”
Darcy nodded in agreement and bid her good night, relief filled him as he resolved to meet with Miss Bennet alone.
*****
It was not until three days later that an opportunity arose. Darcy would have sworn that Lady Catherine could read his thoughts and did everything in her power to prevent contact. But finally, with the assistance of a bout of indigestion, the old woman took to her bed and refused to see anyone. However, her announcements of imminent death could be heard throughout the house.
“She does this quite regularly, only this time she declined the attentions of Mr. Collins. Usually Mama demands last rites. Now you may visit Miss Bennet at your leisure,” Anne informed him as she casually picked over her breakfast. Today, his cousin was dressed demurely in a plain dark blue gown, appearing very much the lady, but he knew otherwise. Elated by the news, Darcy rose and kissed her che
ek before returning to his chamber. What did one wear to propose? The last time, he had an elaborate scenario arranged, but somehow that seemed foolish for one of Miss Bennet’s practical nature. Changing his neckcloth twice before settling on a simple silver silk to match his grey frock coat, he ran his fingers through his hair. It really needed trimming but there was no time for that. The small clock that graced his chamber’s mantle struck nine, sending an unsettling feeling through his body. It was far to early to call upon anyone, but he needed something to serve as a distraction. Changing once again, this time into riding clothes, Darcy took the stairs by two and made his way to the stables. Waving off the stable boy, he saddled his mount himself. It was a comforting practice, long familiar as was the horse himself. More than once, Darcy had found himself holding long conversations with his beloved stallion. For at least the beast was not one to gossip. Stroking the blaze in the horse’s nose, he whispered in the creature’s ear.
“So, Pericles, shall we go for a run? Perhaps I will have someone to introduce as your new mistress.”
The horse whinnied at the sound of his name, but today it seemed as if his horse was laughing at him. Shaking off the feeling, Darcy finished cinching the saddle, and once mounted, nudged the horse towards the vicarage. A turn or two about the town should waste enough time and allow him some preparation as to what to say. Riding out at a canter, he entered the woods that served as a border between Rosings and town. It was dark and cool, the trees dripped remnants of the previous night’s rain. Breathing in the fresh piney air, Darcy closed his eyes and allowed the horse to wander. It was in this state that he nearly trampled the very woman whom he wished to marry.
“Have a care Mr. Darcy!”
“My apologies Miss Bennet! I was distracted by the beauty of the woods, I presume you are also taking in the air?”
“Yes, I enjoy the solitude. I find that Mr. Collins can increase the desire to be alone.”
“I understand completely. Aunt Catherine can have that effect as well…. Are you… that is, may I join you?”
“Then neither of us shall bask in solitude, but yes, if you like. I was planning on walking to the copse and back… the one with the folly?”
Darcy dismounted. “Yes, I know it well. My cousin Anne and I used to play there as children. We imagined it to be the temple of Athena. She of course was Athena. I was her lowly slave.”
“My sisters an I had similar games, but I fear that I was usually the one giving the orders. What of your own sister?”
“Ah, Georgiana is considerably younger. I fear that I had already given up such occupations by the time she began them. It must have been lonely for her after our father died.”
“I would miss my father dreadfully, but Jane and I are very close.”
Darcy noticed that Elizabeth did not include her mother, but said nothing. One as astute as Miss Bennet could hardly be ignorant of her family’s failings. Aside from Elizabeth herself, Jane Bennet was the sole other who did not cause constant disgrace.
“And how is your sister?”
“She is well enough.”
Thinking her statement rather odd, Darcy frowned for a moment, but could not think of a reason to pry further. Instead, he walked alongside her silently, listening to the sounds of the forest until the copse came into view. The rain, which had held off, now began again in earnest. Tying his horse to one of the Doric columns that circled the miniature marble temple, the beast wandered to the protected side, out of the weather. Suggesting they do the same, Darcy offered his arm for support. The steps were wet where rain had puddled, but the interior was dry. A small curved bench stood in the center, inviting visitors to sit and take in the panoramic scenery. It was here that Elizabeth Bennet rested as Darcy paced around her before taking to one knee and grasping her hands in his.
“My dear Miss Bennet, I have something most important to say to you, but words try to continually escape me.”
“I cannot imagine what could be so important…” Elizabeth replied, but her voice trailed as she tried to extricate her hands.
Seeing the awkwardness in which he had placed her, Darcy released his hold and stood, pacing once again. His voice, seemed to crack with hesitation as he spoke.
“I have thought of you constantly since our parting from Netherfield. Despite my doubts about your sister and Charles, my misgivings about your family and what the connection may bring to my own, I find myself hopelessly in love with you. You have bewitched me, body and soul.”
He watched her face for any sign of happiness, but found her staring at him strangely. Weren’t young ladies elated when met by declarations of love? Had he been overly dramatic? Thinking her silence to be encouragement, he continued unchecked.
“I know that it would be quite an adjustment, but others have made the transition and you are not like other young ladies. Your lack of money is no consideration, nor is the behavior of your family. For you, I would overlook anything, just agree to by my wife.”
Darcy paused, pleased with his efforts and anxiously awaited her reply. At first, Elizabeth appeared to slightly tremble. Was that not a good response? Unfortunately, the slight shaking was followed by a repeated clenching of her small fist as fire filled her eyes.
“Jane and Charles? What did you do?”
Darcy stared at her, he had just proposed marriage and all the woman could think of was her sister. Was she confused by emotion?
“I did nothing that any other friend would have in a similar situation. Your sister displayed no apparent affection for Bingley and I told him so. But it was his decision to break off the courtship, not mine.”
“Indeed, and I suppose whatever you suggest, he follows, even if it shatters the heart of another? Jane is not one to publicly show her emotions. As you are not the focus of her affections there would be no possibility of her demonstrating it. Is that not proper behavior of a gentleman’s daughter?”
“Your father is barely a gentleman, and remiss in his duties as a parent, allowing your mother and sisters to go about as they do. I believe it is quite common for ladies in your situation to marry for money alone.”
“How dare you insult me so? Does your arrogance know no bounds? You degrade my family and then profess to love me? Against your better judgement? Well, let me assure you sir, my judgement is completely sound. Any marriage between us would only result in misery. While my sister may have great affection… no, love is the correct word…for Mr. Bingley, I hold no affection for you. It would appear that interference in the lives of others is a pleasant pastime for you. Do you also deny refusing one Mr. Wickham his rightful inheritance? Who else have you treated poorly without cause?”
“I cannot deny my actions, but they were with the best of intentions. As for George Wickham, you have only heard one side of the story, for his treatment, I make no apologies.”
“Indeed! And I suppose you are never wrong. You have earned nothing but my disgust for your actions.”
Darcy’s mouth dropped and then just as quickly closed. The firm set of his jaw clenched as he fought back the desire to retaliate. How dare she reject him now after they seemed so well suited. Bowing stiffly, he took his leave, but felt her eyes upon him until the cover of the woods hid him from view. It was only then that he allowed a tear to escape unchecked. He had only meant to warn Charles against the possibility of Jane Bennet not returning his feelings. Had he overstepped himself? After all, more than once he had experienced the pain of being used. If his pride stood in the way of earning the love of Elizabeth Bennet, then her prejudice was equally at fault. She had judged him harshly. While Darcy could not deny his part, he would find a way to explain the reason for his actions.
~Sixteen~
Upon returning to Rosings, Darcy ignored the demands of his aunt and immediately sat down to write. He had always been better at putting down words than speaking them. It gave time to contemplate each choice. Amongst strangers, it was difficult to quickly choose the best reply, resulting in silence. Th
is silence, fueled by a desire to not cause embarrassment, had often resulted in having a reputation for sullenness. However, it could not be helped. He only hoped that his words would provide a lessening of the pain he had caused the Bennet sisters. For despite Elizabeth’s refusal, his feelings remained. In disclosing his sister’s near scandal, as well as his own betrayal, he would be baring his soul for her perusal. Georgiana, having been seduced with false declarations of love by George Wickham in an attempt to seize her dowry had only been prevented by timely interference. Had he been but a few hours later, nothing save a hasty marriage would have saved Georgiana’s reputation. Esme had simply fooled him completely, rendering the placement of trust difficult. Jane Bennet’s resemblance to his former attachment had not helped him keep an open mind. Now, as he put pen to paper, he could still see the disappointment and anger in Elizabeth’s features. He had been wrong, but for the right reasons, but the idea of Miss Elizabeth Bennet despising him was unbearable. It was only when satisfied with his efforts that he realized that Anne had been silently watching him the entire time.
“So? Did you propose? What did she say? Was that letter announcing an engagement?”
Darcy sadly shook his head. “No, it was a disaster. She despises me. Called me arrogant… holds me responsible for interfering in her sister’s courtship with Charles Bingley.”
“You didn’t!”
“I am afraid I did.”
“Whatever for? Charles is not a fool… a bit overly optimistic, but certainly not stupid.”
“I… I thought Jane Bennet was a fortune seeker…. like Esme… and Wickham.”
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